1.

 

 

 

Me: Hello?

 

 

 

Telemarketer: Is your dad home?

 

 

 

Me: Who's this?

 

 

 

Telemarketer: Is your dad home?

 

 

 

Me: Is this a telemarketer?

 

 

 

Telemarketer: That depends. Is your dad home?

 

 

 

Me: *hangs up*

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Yea something like this happened to me about a week ago... and the telemarketer was really a butthead about it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Me- Hello? *pause* hello?!?! *pause* HELLO!!!!

 

 

 

Him- Hello is Mrs... Du.. Dukle there? (He just completly butched our last name, like usual)

 

 

 

Me-Yes she is

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

===

 

 

 

Now, my mother is a very sick lady, so I wasn't sure if this was a telemarketer calling or a doctor calling about test results or government calling about a disability check... so at first I was just going to get her. By the way, this was around 9 at night, and she was already asleep in bed

 

 

 

===

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Me-*breif pause* May I ask what your calling about?

 

 

 

Him-Blah Blah Blah Credit Card Blah Blah Blah

 

 

 

Me- I'm sorry, my mothers she's not taking any phone calls

 

 

 

Him- Is any one 18 or older there?

 

 

 

Me- Nope (said this kind of sassy, obviously lying)

 

 

 

Him- Fine, then we will be glad to call back tomorrow! (he perpously said this like a jerkoff)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And sure enough... they next day they called back. Now usually I just tell them to take us off their list, despite the fact that that never works. But let me tell you what, I let them have it, I reemed them out with every word in the book and a few others that havn't made it in there yet... there was so much vulgarity traveling through those lines to the telemarkets receiver I think I put down a couple telephone wires!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Guess what? They didn't call back any more :lol: :lol:

Me: Hello?

 

 

 

TM: Hi do you want to here about our blah blah blah plan?

 

 

 

Me: Sure!!

 

 

 

TM: Blah bla... *hang up*

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I wonder how long it takes them to notice I'm not there :roll: .

I got the idea from this thread to go buy an airhorn. If you talk really quietly for a while they turn up the volume in their headsets and at the end of the call blow the airhorn straight into the mouth-piece of your phone. :twisted: it can be quite loud for them

You can always talk Bork Stylee. As in emphasise on the sounds.

 

 

 

Hello = Heelooo.

 

 

 

Out = Ooooot.

 

 

 

Kinda scotish...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edit: Just remembered you can get Bork Text converter for Firefox :lol:

 

 

 

Here Scroll down to Bork Bork Bork.

 

 

 

Its good to use on forums makes every one look illiterate. :D

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

You see the post above me? This is what it looks like Borked-up:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I gut zee idea frum thees threed tu gu booy un eurhurn. Iff yuoo telk reelly qooeeetly fur a vheele-a zeey toorn up zee fuloome-a in zeeur heedsets und et zee eed ooff zee cell bloo zee eurhurn streeeght intu zee muoot-peeece-a ooff yuoor phune-a. Twisted Evil it cun be-a qooeete-a luood fur zeem

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Funny :lol:

when im done talking to telemarketers i dont hang up....i use the Jack Black soundboard to say "click"...its so funny ....then just wait for them to hang up or laugh or etc.

You can always talk Bork Stylee. As in emphasise on the sounds.

 

 

 

Hello = Heelooo.

 

 

 

Out = Ooooot.

 

 

 

Kinda scotish...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edit: Just remembered you can get Bork Text converter for Firefox :lol:

 

 

 

Here Scroll down to Bork Bork Bork.

 

 

 

Its good to use on forums makes every one look illiterate. :D

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

You see the post above me? This is what it looks like Borked-up:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I gut zee idea frum thees threed tu gu booy un eurhurn. Iff yuoo telk reelly qooeeetly fur a vheele-a zeey toorn up zee fuloome-a in zeeur heedsets und et zee eed ooff zee cell bloo zee eurhurn streeeght intu zee muoot-peeece-a ooff yuoor phune-a. Twisted Evil it cun be-a qooeete-a luood fur zeem

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Funny :lol:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Yea they have a translater on google for bork bork bork under the language settings. But you can only get it after clicking on a few of the other languages first... its kinda an easter egg the programmers threw in for kicks.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I think its supposed to be german / austrian, it could be seen as scottish too. All well, its some W.A.S.P. country :wink:

i alwase have and i alwase will you will get a friend that sounds somthin like you.. stand back to back and this is how it goes..

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Telemarketer:is so and so there?

 

 

 

Man One:i dont know let me go get my brother

 

 

 

hands phone to bro

 

 

 

Man two:hello

 

 

 

Telemarketer: would you like to buy such and such product?

 

 

 

Man Two:i dont know let me go get my brother

 

 

 

hands phone

 

 

 

Man One:whats the product

 

 

 

Telemarketer: discribes the product.. so do you want to buy it?

 

 

 

Man One:I Dont know let me go get my brother

 

 

 

hands phone

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

whell i think you get the picture.. if you are looking at each other you will laugh.. it is a lot more fun to do it and awaite the telemarketer to hang up

Its gotta be hard on the other side of it also...i mean ...it's their job. It gets old making the same phone call after a while. Not saying i like em...its fun to poke jokes...but dont give them a hard time.

Its gotta be hard on the other side of it also...i mean ...it's their job. It gets old making the same phone call after a while. Not saying i like em...its fun to poke jokes...but dont give them a hard time.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I agree and disagree. I don't want to be mean to people for doing their job...but I can't help but being frustrated when people call trying to sell me web design. What is that about?

i alwase have and i alwase will you will get a friend that sounds somthin like you.. stand back to back and this is how it goes..

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Telemarketer:is so and so there?

 

 

 

Man One:i dont know let me go get my brother

 

 

 

hands phone to bro

 

 

 

Man two:hello

 

 

 

Telemarketer: would you like to buy such and such product?

 

 

 

Man Two:i dont know let me go get my brother

 

 

 

hands phone

 

 

 

Man One:whats the product

 

 

 

Telemarketer: discribes the product.. so do you want to buy it?

 

 

 

Man One:I Dont know let me go get my brother

 

 

 

hands phone

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

whell i think you get the picture.. if you are looking at each other you will laugh.. it is a lot more fun to do it and awaite the telemarketer to hang up

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This would be even better if man1 and man2 are the same people... lmfao

I've acted like I was being killed before. I even had one of my knives handy and pulled it out of it's sheath with an exaggeration on the scraping sound and post-unsheathing ring of the blade. The guy sat there going "Sir? Sir, are you okay?"

 

 

 

Eventually I got back on and said "Nah, man, I'm just f***ing with ya." and hung up.

 

You can always talk Bork Stylee. As in emphasise on the sounds.

 

 

 

Hello = Heelooo.

 

 

 

Out = Ooooot.

 

 

 

Kinda scotish...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edit: Just remembered you can get Bork Text converter for Firefox :lol:

 

 

 

Here Scroll down to Bork Bork Bork.

 

 

 

Its good to use on forums makes every one look illiterate. :D

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

You see the post above me? This is what it looks like Borked-up:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I gut zee idea frum thees threed tu gu booy un eurhurn. Iff yuoo telk reelly qooeeetly fur a vheele-a zeey toorn up zee fuloome-a in zeeur heedsets und et zee eed ooff zee cell bloo zee eurhurn streeeght intu zee muoot-peeece-a ooff yuoor phune-a. Twisted Evil it cun be-a qooeete-a luood fur zeem

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Funny :lol:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Yea they have a translater on google for bork bork bork under the language settings. But you can only get it after clicking on a few of the other languages first... its kinda an easter egg the programmers threw in for kicks.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I think its supposed to be german / austrian, it could be seen as scottish too. All well, its some W.A.S.P. country :wink:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Swedish actually :lol:

I live in Texas so Spanish is a relatively common language. When telemarketers call and ask for "insert-name-here" I tell them to wait a moment. I begin speaking Spanish, which I've been learning in school. When they switch to a Spanish speaker person, I just start speaking some Chinese. Oh the Beauty of knowing three languages.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I also enjoy telling them to wait a moment as i grab the person for whom they are asking. I never give them the person for whom they are looking.

It gets really bad at my house. Often we get a telemarketing call (from a machine!) that goes like this: "Hello, we have a very importantant message for you, but unfortunatly all of our representatives are busy at the moment, please wait while one becomes available". So SO annoying.

once i saw jahovas witness ppl walkin down my road so i put on my devil costume and answer the door sayin hi wud u like to selabrate crimbo wiv me and ma peeps and the back slowly away...(the dnt belive in crimbo!!!)

Tyahahahahah.

 

 

 

My favourite way to deal with telemarketers is to always answer the phone in French, and if it's a telemarketer, keep it up.

 

 

 

Once, they had someone who spoke French, so I switched to Japanese on them. :twisted:

once i saw jahovas witness ppl walkin down my road so i put on my devil costume and answer the door sayin hi wud u like to selabrate crimbo wiv me and ma peeps and the back slowly away...(the dnt belive in crimbo!!!)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Yeah, true story.... I bet :roll: