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Dumb Stories


TTanT

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A lot of Off-Topic is either in their late teens or twenties at this point, so I figure we must all have some stories to share.

 

Whether they're stupid things you did as a kid, triumphant tales of comeuppance, or rants about things that sucked- they're all pretty fun to share. So tell me about that time you wrestled a grizzly bear, punched a nun, or singlehandedly caused the current recession through a silly of zany mistakes!

 

 

A story of mine:

Back in my sophomore year of high school, I was at a friend's summer party and we were playing around with a beach ball. Being uncoordinated I knocked it over the fence into the neighbor's yard.

So, of course, I immediately jumped the fence to get it- not realizing said neighbor had a rather vicious dog. I managed to get the ball and escape, but it was a pretty close call.

The only difference between Hitler and the man next door who comes home and beats his kids every day is circumstance. The intent is the same-- to harm others.

[hide=Tifers say the darndest things]

I told her there was a secret method to doing it - and there is - but my once nimble and agile fingers were unable to perform because I was under the influence.

I would laugh, not hate. I'm a male. :(

Since when was Ireland an island...? :wall:

I actually have a hobby of licking public toilet seats.

[/hide]
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I got stories for days, but prefer to keep them relevant to topics that are already in progress of discussion. Otherwise, I post them on the Today thread. Most of my longer, more well told stories I keep on a face-to-face level.

 

However, just to add to the fun I'll give a short story:

 

When I turned 18 I got real excited to start online dating. I ended up talking to this girl who was a few years older than me and she wanted to meet up. She looked...eh. Like 7/10 on a good day. At best. Being generous. And tipsy. But nevertheless she promised to bring her "hot" friend and I told her I'd bring her a dude so we settled on a date. The jackass I am, I bring my best friend (bless his heart) on an hour road trip out way up state to meet this girl that would soon be all up on his kishkas. I don't know why we didn't leave immediately. She had gained like I don't know...a pregnancy worth of weight since she took the photo that I had seen when I was talking to her. Oh...and she didn't mention she had a 3 year old kid. Or smoked like a chimney. But my buddy toughed it out for me, while I waited for my date to arrive. Come to think of it, there's no proof this girl even existed minus the fact I got her number (but new revelation, it really could have been any random broad's number I was given). Anywho, we stick around for something like 5 hours just sitting around killing time, talking about random stupid crap no one cared about. 0 chemistry accross the board. 0. Infact I'm pretty sure negative chemistry was occurring, I don't care what the laws of physics present our universe with. It gets to be like 11ish when I decide my girl's not coming. So me and my buddy finally bail. But not without the memory of that shit night when we went up state to meet the beast. we still joke about it occasionally, and actually I still talk to the girl on the other side of that number the first girl gave me. She's nuts. Like actually clinically nuts. Fairly attractive though. Not even remotely interesting on a personal level. This must have happened close to 3 years ago now. Meeting up with random number girl in a few days for the first time. Kinda weird come to think of it. We tried to meet up before but one of us would always cancel last minute with BS plans like "oh, I don't feel well today" or "something came up". Whatever. My life is yolo.

 

Trust me, I got stories for days.

Quote

 

Quote

Anyone who likes tacos is incapable of logic.

Anyone who likes logic is incapable of tacos.

 

PSA: SaqPrets is an Estonian Dude

Steam: NippleBeardTM

Origin: Brand_New_iPwn

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  • 4 weeks later...

Winter > thin ice on ponds > insert stupid kids walking on it > ice-cold story.

t3aGt.png

 

So I've noticed this thread's regulars all follow similar trends.

 

RPG is constantly dealing with psycho exes.

Muggi reminds us of the joys of polygamy.

Saq is totally oblivious to how much chicks dig him.

I strike out every other week.

Kalphite wages a war against the friend zone.

Randox pretty much stays rational.

Etc, etc

 

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We have a model railway downstairs, my dad had just bought a new locomotive, steam , it could actually puff out smoke! anyhow, i was driving it around the tracks, and at one part, the [bleep]er fell down, on the hard-stone flooring, my dad wasn't very hapy about it....

2nv5bvl.png
99 Firemaking 30-5-2010 | 99 Fletching 13-7-2014
TET-AU member:6-10-2010 - 21-10-2011

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I dropped acid to impress a girl. Dumb story. one sentence.

Quote

 

Quote

Anyone who likes tacos is incapable of logic.

Anyone who likes logic is incapable of tacos.

 

PSA: SaqPrets is an Estonian Dude

Steam: NippleBeardTM

Origin: Brand_New_iPwn

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I hope it didn't burn anyone.

  • Like 3

The only difference between Hitler and the man next door who comes home and beats his kids every day is circumstance. The intent is the same-- to harm others.

[hide=Tifers say the darndest things]

I told her there was a secret method to doing it - and there is - but my once nimble and agile fingers were unable to perform because I was under the influence.

I would laugh, not hate. I'm a male. :(

Since when was Ireland an island...? :wall:

I actually have a hobby of licking public toilet seats.

[/hide]
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