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'Yo momma' Jokes here :)


gonadiator

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(non RS related) Yo momma so stupid, she couldn't put m&m's in alphabetical order! (my friend tole me it)

 

(RS related) Yo momma so ugly, the greatest warrior in every village/town died just looking at her

My RS name: Night_Owl35 My RS combat lvl: 38 :( If you have MSN Messenger, Or Yahoo Messenger, add me!

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  • 4 months later...

just made these up..and they took me forever, hahah

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

yo mommas so fat my hybrid ran out of gas driving around her

 

 

 

yo mammas so fat and stupid, that when she got on a scale, she asked "who gave u my fone number!"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

yo mommas so fat she fell over the railing into the grand canyon, and made it two times wider

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

yo mommas so fat that when she hopped in for a swim at the ocean, she flooded all 7 continents

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

yo mommas so fat she broke Mt. Everst trying to climb it

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

yo mommas so fat that they use her to plug black holes

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

yo mommas so fat that she thought the African Elephant was a rat

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

yo mommas so fat and stupid she ate the oscar meyer weiner car

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

yo mommas so fat NASA asked if she could just pull down the moon for them

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

RS-for those who are still reading

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

yo mammas so fat tzok jad called her fat..

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

yo mammas so fat she kills kalphite queens by sittting on them

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

yo mammas so ugly that at pc, ppl immediately began spec'ing her(im f2p, so dunno if thats what ppl do at pc..)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

yo mommas so fat it took 5 mages to teleport her to ess mine

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

yo mommas so fat she could kill the kalphite queen and visit cw, at the same time

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

yo mommmas so fat she didnt have to dig at barrows, she jsut walked over and it crused the brothers, all 6 at the same time

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

yo mommas so fat when she dies at mage bank and respawns back at lumby, she moves 2 steps

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

yo mommas so fat she thought the giant mole was a nice pet hampster

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

yo mommas so fat she stepped onto Karamja

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

yo mommas so fat she farted and it smoked out the KBD

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

yo mommas so fat she uses the granite maul as a toothpic

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

yo mommas so fat sunk crandor

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pure:demon_x_king

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yo momas so fat, when she was born she didnt get a birth certificate, she got blueprints

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

yo momas so fat, on a scale of 1 - 10, shes a 747

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

yo momas so fat, she wakes up in sections

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Click here to see my goals and achievements thread

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  • 2 weeks later...

Yo momma's so stupid she thinks Fleetwood Mac is a new burger at McDonalds!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I told her drinks were on the house...so she went and got a ladder...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

she make Homer Simpson look like a Nobel Prize winner

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

she took the Pepsi challenge and chose Jif.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

he noticed a sign reading 'Wet Floor'...so she just did!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

it takes her two hours to watch 60 Minutes.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

when you were born, she looked at your umbilical cord and said, "Wow, it comes with cable too!"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

she asked for a refund on a jigsaw puzzle complaining it was broken.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

she got locked in the Quickie Mart and nearly starved to death.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

she sold her Car for Petrol cash!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

she reckoned a Quarterback was a refund...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

she once attempted to commit suicide by jumping off a Kerb.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

she leaves tell tales signs she's been using my computer - white out (tipp ex) is on the screen.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

she took a job cutting grass on an Oil Rig.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I found her peaking over a glass wall to see what was on the other side.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

it took her 2 days to make Microwaveable Pot Noodles.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

she invented a silent car alarm.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

that when you stand beside her you can actually hear the ocean

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

she really thought the cinema was selling Free Willies...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

she watches The Three Stooges and takes notes.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

she was born on Halloween and can't remember her birthday.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

she thought Morning Dew was a New York radio station.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

she lost her shadow.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

she went to a Whalers game to see Kiko.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

she thought Hot Meals were stolen food.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

she make Laurel and Hardy look like Nobel Prize winners.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

when I asked her to purchase me a Color TV she asked me...'Which color?'

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

when she step on the Weight Scales it says...'to be continued'...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

she once went on a seafood diet...whenever she saw food she ate it!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

folk exercise by jogging around her!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

when she bends over, we enter Daylight Saving Time.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

she sat on a Nintendo GameCube and it turned into a GameBoy

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

she make Kiko the Whale look like a Smartie

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

NASA plan to use her to shore up the hole in the Ozone layer

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

she was measured at 38-26-36 and that was just the left arm...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

small objects orbit her.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

She makes Olympic sumo wrestlers look anorexic.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

When I tell her to haul [wagon], she gotta make two trips.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

When she farted she launched herself into orbit.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

She lost a game at Hide and Seek only cuz I spotted her...behind Mount Everest.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

When I had to swerve to avoid hitting her on the road I ran out of Petrol!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

She could be the eighth continent.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

She nearly put Safeway out of business

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

the only thing that's attracted to her is gravity.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Her Uni graduation photo was an aerial

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

when she auditioned for a part in Raiders of the Lost Ark she got the part of the big Rolling Ball.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

She makes Jabba the Hutt look anorexic.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Her fave food is seconds.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Her belt size is Equator.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

she eats Dessert out of a Trash Can lid

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

she wears an 'X' jacket and Copters attempt to land on her

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

she shows up on radar.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

She needs a map to find her butt.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

She fell into the Grand Canyon....and got stuck!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

She wears an asteroid belt.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Her Passport photo says 'Picture is continued overleaf'

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

she has TB ... 2 bellies.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

SheÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢s once, twice, three times a lady.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

she was in the Daily Record last week on page 5, 6, 7, 8, and 9.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

the circus use her as a trampoline

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

stunt agencies use her as an air mattress

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

when she opens the Fridge it says - 'I give up...'

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

she got a new gig at the Cinema...she works as the screen

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

she once told me 'I could eat a horse'...believe me, she wasn't kidding!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

she deep fries her toothpaste.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

she put the Boogie man outta business.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

she make Michael Jackson look like Brad Pitt

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

when she wobbles down the street in September, folks say, "Damn it, can't believe it's Halloween already..."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

when she applied for the ugly contest they told her 'NO Professionals'

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

she looked out her window and was arrested for indecent exposure!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

minutes after she was born her Mother shouted 'What a treasure!" and her Poppa said "Yes, now let's go and bury her..."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

they push her face into the dough mixture when making Monster cookies.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

when they took her to the Beautician it took 10 hours....and that was just for the quote!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

yer Daddy takes her to work each day so he doesny have to kiss her goodbye...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

she put Marilyn Manson out of business.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

she was a guard at Snake Mountain

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

they knew what time she was born cuz her face stopped the clock...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

even Harry Knowles refused to date her.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

they embalmed her face on a box of super-strength laxatives and sold it empty!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

she gets 364 extra days just to dress up for Halloween.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Tony Blair moved Halloween to her birthday.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

you papa throws the ugly stick and she goes fetches it every time.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

she scared the stitching outta Frankenstein.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

we had to tie a steak round her neck so the dogs would play with her.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I heard yer Father first met her at the Zoo.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

her shadow gave up.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

people at the Zoo pay cash so they DON'T have to see her...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

her mom had to be Pissed drunk just to breast feed her.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

when born, the doctors had to fit her incubator with tinted windows.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

hotel managers use her picture to keep away the Rats.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

instead of round the ankles, they put the Bungee Jumping cord round her neck.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

they gave her a middle name...'accident'.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

she fell out of the Ugly Tree, hitting every branch on the way down.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

when she walked into the Haunted House, she came back out with a Job Application!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

even Slicky Willy Clinton refused to sleep with her...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

when she was born the Doc smacked her face

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Retired from runescape. I will be on every now and then though. :)

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YOUR armpit smells so bad, the teacher gave u an A++++++++++++++

 

 

 

for not raising ur hand.

 

 

 

Yo mama so fat u cant even see her feet

 

 

 

Yo mama so fat, u thought her belly had some kinda animal in it

 

 

 

Yo mama so big when she sits around the house, she sits AROUND it

 

 

 

Yo mama so fat she had her own zipcode

 

 

 

Yo mama so stupid she tried to kill a bird by throwin it off a cliff

 

 

 

Yo mama so stupid she thought surfing the web was by smashin the comp

 

 

 

with a surfing board

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  • 1 month later...

yo mama's just like home depot, 25 cents a screw!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

yo mamma's like a doorknob, everyone gets a turn!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

yo mamma's like a shotgun every c0ck and she blows!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

(mods) u can remove that last 1 if u think its too inappropriate, or maybe all of them...

xaulinmonk54.jpeg

 

 

[^^Thanks Go To Runemetsa For Most Sigs]

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/\ uhh....yeah right :?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

yo mama's so ugly, everytime she looks out the window, shes arrested for mooning 8-)

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click my sig for my blog!!!

Thanks everyone for the sigs they pwn!

No. Why should i give presents for someone in rs?

Most selfish thing I've ever heard

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