This post is mainly aimed to be read by my friends, as something has happened, and I am too lazy to explain it in detail to each friend individually :P
So you guys know I was physically ill a while ago, and it got to the point where I quit TET, and not long after rejoining, it got worse and I had to leave again. Just lately, I've been in fairly good physical health, but my mood has been fairly low. About three weeks ago, my parents were worried about this, so they booked me an appointment with my doctor, who said that she thinks its stress caused by college, but booked me for some counselling (whoa! I spelt that word right first time :D) in the future.
Over the next week, I started to get rouge thoughts in my head, telling me to do various unwanted things (such as cutting my arm with a knife while making dinner, jumping in front of moving traffic while standing at roads, jumping out of a window while at my computer upstairs, etc.). I've been able to ignore these thoughts for the most part, but its starting to get harder to dismiss them. I went back to my doctor, who has referred me to the Early Intervention Team, who are going to be helping me in some way (medication or something, I don't know, they discussed my case yesterday and should call me either today or tomorrow).
They also seem to be worried that I may have bipolar, which both my mother and aunt suffer from, and it runs in the family (I am at the age where males are most likely to start showing symptoms if they have it apparently). So yeah..
People have also asked why I have been de-ranked in the HYT clan chat, and the explanation for that is I asked Lady Heinous to temporarily demote me. My mood is fairly unstable at the moment, and being in a position of power is not a good idea if I'm going to lose my temper (nearly happened two nights ago, but Sentry Wolf <3:, Darkwitchery <3: and Emmace <3: were... calming influences is the best way to put it, and I managed to keep my mood in check.
So yeah, kinda sucks, but nothing I can do about it. I'm in extreme amounts of pain with constant headaches and toothache (dentist appointment tomorrow, yay me!), and its not helping that the 'voices' are telling me that the only way to stop the pain is to kill myself.. ¬_¬
Meh anyway, I thought that the best way to explain myself to friends would be this blog post *shrugs*
<3: you all, back to my Dark Beast task!