kam42705

Armies marching... the reconnaissance units preparing... for the ultimate war has began. Prepare yourself, Archimage, for the fury of the heavens shall descend upon you! *Melodramatic music starts in the background* Apparently, Archiemage, your poor choice disgusts me... well maybe not your choice...but that of Bluejay. Although, I must say that I am compelled to believe that the events described by Archiemage of the lust of Bluejay were not consensual, and therefore, both Archiemage and and Bluegay will not make it... (Sorry, not pun in ten did....) However, they [Archimage and Bluejay] will make it to bed after this commercial break! :^o Disclaimer: The above does not represent the views of Kam42705, rather, it is that of the sole entities that wrote them. If there is conflict between these two clauses, refer to the first, otherwise, please proceed to the metal door at the right which is a one way ticket to the depths of Earth's desolate core...

How about a prequel? Well...two of them actually... one for Varrock, and the other for Falador. Personally, this is one of the greatest stories (that have ended) on these boards. Your amazing writing style would do great for a history of the past of Varrock, specifically the wars it has had with Morytanian creatures, along with the blessing of the River Salve. The Asgarnian aspect may be tied to that of Camelot, with the White Knights founded by the Knights of the Round Table. After completing Falador, the ground would be set for Camelot, and afterwards, Ardougne. So, in essence, you could have a precise and concise history on the history of the land of Gielenor, and how each city's creation is entwined with another, while the first one was created by the Mahjarrat, or some other tribe...

Hehe, lol I was cracking up while I read that... *laughs hysterically* *Drifts back to reality* Aaaah... the joys of cartoon torture... Whoops, sorry, no one should have heard that... :oops: Why do I feel as if my seat is squirming under me? And why do I have bite marks all over my legs? And besides, why am I bored to death with these horrible magazines? Oh god, oh god, oh god!!! *screams* Bedbugs! Wait... this isn't a bed... it's a chair... so it must be... *several hours later* Chairbugs! Can't wait for more juicy details on the noob police... Speaking of juicy, these chairbugs sure look tasty... :oops:

This is a great story, and it is great to know you're back! And also, "Dearest" Archiemage, I guess this is the end of our formal (yet unprofessional) letters, and I can't wait to see the next of the epic tale of Snake and Noob

Dear Archiemage and Powerent, Seeing as I do not have time to write petty letters to illiterate fools, I shall be moving from this realm to another, where my minions will strike fear in all, whilst I wittingly take control of the morons I shall meet. To that end, I would like to wish you two the best of luck in incessant bickering, and petty notes. As ruler of the multiverse, I shall move to another suitable universe, and move from your beloved planet Gaia and into Terra, the equivalent of Gaia in The Universe Ki, appropriately named for the Sumerian goddess of the world and underworld. I shall wish you the best of luck in your petty lives, and soon enough, I will return, bringing my loyal followers with me. Yours forever truly, Kam42705 Kam42706 Kam Master of the Universe Ruler of the Multiverse Lord of Ki Emperor of Terra

Better yet, let's build on the idea of the Assassin's Mask- by wearing it, you proclaim to the world you are capable of killing, and to get it, you must kill at least 10 players in the wilderness. In order to keep it, you must kill at least one person a day. It would have no stats, but weigh -1 kg. While wearing it, a skull appears above you (just like the wildy one, except it is blue or black) It will also appear for 20 minutes after you take off the mask (like a regular skull). Also, the added benefit of wearing it is that you are able to attack other players, although only outdoors, and other NPC's that are sworn to protect (ex: Guards, White Knights, etc.) appear when someone is attacked, and begin to attack the attacker. This gives the victim a chance to run. Also, you are NOT able to kill anyone that is in a building (unless in wilderness or combat minigames), or in a non-combat guild (Mining, Fishing, Cooking, Crafting, Monastery). Also, the area within a city is protected by a new type of guard, a level 45 one. Depending on the level of the attacker, up to seven may appear at once (max hit of each is 7). This would add a little zest to the game... EDIT: By the way, if the attacker is killed, he is teleported to a special cell in Port Sarim prison where they are locked inside for 5 minutes... Teleports do not work from within, and the killed may kill one another, although that only prolongs the end for them...

Wow! I think you're right! *goes off to look at RS icon* Oh wait! You are right! Sweet find! :ohnoes:

Dear Archiemage, Your ignorance pleases me greatly... The fact that you never realized that they sealed your fate is simply amazing. Also, your English may need correcting as well- "this group" refers to the group as a whole, as an individual, therefore, "is" is the proper term, not "are." Hope you enjoy your life in a box! Cheers! *clanks wine glass against a mirror* Sincerely, Kam42705 Kam42706 Kam Your Lord, Master, and Saviour Master of the Universe Ruler of the Multiverse P.S.- The only reason you can read this message is because your encasement is crystal clear from the outside, yet seemingly opaque from the exterior. Therefore, I shall have this delivered to the desk that is located in front of the encasement.

Dear Archiemage, In that case, I shall dispatch a squad of elite warriors who shall finish the job that the liquidators could not... Sincerely, Kam42705 Kam42706 Kam Your Lord, Master, and Saviour Master of the Universe Ruler of the Multiverse

Dear Archiemage, Just to inform you that my liquidation squad has been dispatched, and they will enclose you in a box permanently sealed for eternity. Since you will not die, you shall be isolated from the entire world, and as such, you were not altered in any way. Besides, if you did, I am ruler of the multiverse, and I shall just move on to another universe whose conditions are suitable for myself. Sincerely, Kam42705 Kam42706 Kam Your Lord, Master, and Saviour Master of the Universe Ruler of the Multiverse

Dear Archiemage, As you did not follow the guidelines for a memo, nor state that it was one, your argument collapsed before it reached trial. Sincerely, Kam42705 Kam42706 Kam Your Lord, Master, and Saviour Master of the Universe Ruler of the Multiverse

Dear Archiemage, Since your liquidation, you have not posted. You have now been reborn as Archiemage Underscore A Underscore 2. As such, you still have the ability to remain in control of this thread. However, at no time, are you permitted to join the business venture between BlueJay and myself, unless you have apprval from at least 75% of the company. Therefore, enjoy your new life. Sincerely, Kam42705 Kam42706 Kam Your Lord, Master, and Saviour Master of the Universe Ruler of the Multiverse

Dear Business Partners, As the previous document was not signed by Archiemage, it is hereby voided according to the Laws of the Multiverse, and various other applicable laws. Archiemage has been banished from this realm, and my very own liquidation squad is hunting him as I write. After liquidation, all of Archimage's assets shall be transferred to me, while ten percent of this company shall be offered to Bluejay. The Archiemage is always right statute has now been voided due to the fact that no signature was placed on the above document, which leads to the status of void on all documents signed by Archiemage. Thank you for reading this, and have pleasure at your liquidation Archimage! Yours truly, Kam42705 Kam42706 Kam Your Lord, Master, and Saviour Master of the Universe Ruler of the Multiverse

Concerning the clauses which you have added, I was thinking more along the lines of the merger going like this: I,I: The parties here present agree that the Takeover/Merger of Kam42705's Company from Archimage Industries Unlimited, is fully legal. I,II: Subject to the 'Archimage is ALWAYS Right' Paragraph. Subject to the Kam42705/Kam42706/Kam is ALWAYS Right Paragraph. All business ventures must be approved by Kam42705/Kam42706/Kam before becoming official. The consent of Kam42705/Kam42706/Kam cannot be overruled. I,III: Archimage will retain full control of his entities (Advert Company and Archimage Studios), Kam42705 will gain an easy life and full access to all resources of the Archimage Industrial Empire. This does not not extent to Archimage Studios or The ADVERT COMPANY. II,I: 20% of the Company will be owned solely by Archimage A. 20% will be owned solely by Kam42705. 20% will be owned solely by Kam42706. 20% will be owned by BlueJayFan94. And the other 20% shall be owned solely by Kam. Signed: Print:Archimage A Date:28.8.07 Signed: Kam42705 Print:Kam42705 Date:28.8.07 Signed: Kam42706 Print: Kam42706 Date:28.8.07 Signed: Kam Print: Kam Date:28.8.07 Signed: Print:BlueJayFan94 Date: This document is officially legal and certified when there are three signatures upon it. Any future revisions must be approved by 60% of the company in order to take effect. All past versions of this document are hereby obsolete.

Dear Archiemage, I do have to say you have exquisite writing skills, which I enjoy reading. Albeit, I may be getting off topic, the BlueJay Chronicles in their very essence are a pleasure to read. Please continue the good work. Sincerely, Kam42705 Kam42706 Kam Your Lord, Master, and Saviour Dearest Archiemage, Although I complemented you my last letter, I would like to offer a business proposition for you- if you grant me immunity from liquidation and any form of death, torture and humiliation from you, your minions, or your colleagues, I shall be able to offer you a treasure beyond your wildest dreams. I have stumbled upon an ancient civilization deep within the earth, and the riches are unimaginable. There technologies far surpass ours, and their hordes of gold are simply amazing. If you choose to accept the business proposition, I will give you 10% of all earnings my new company makes, and you must grant me, my workers, and my colleagues, immunity from liquidation, death, torture, and humiliation from any source. Our alliance shall create a great company the likes of whom have never been discovered. Once this occurs, we can together take control of the multiverse, with ratchet at our side. As masters of this realm, we shall be unstoppable. Shall you choose not to accept, I shall progress on my own, as the sole ruler of the multiverse. Yours truly, Kam42705 Kam42706 Kam Master of the Universe Ruler of the Multiverse Your Lord, Master, and Saviour

Oh, and by the way, the Saradomin sword looks like it is a one handed weapon equaling the abyssal whip, its stats are similar, along with the strength bonus of 82. Unfortunately, I couldn't find any info on getting it or the Zamorakian Spear.

The Dragon Boots are not as good in terms of defense bonuses compared to the Bandos boots. Stats: Dragon Boots Attack: Stab: 0 Slash: 0 Crush: 0 Magic: -3 Range:-1 Defense: Stab: 16 Slash: 17 Crush:18 Magic: 0 Range: 0 Other: Strength: 4 Prayer: 0 Bandos Boots Attack: Stab: 0 Slash: 0 Crush: 0 Magic: -5 Range:-3 Defense: Stab: 17 Slash: 18 Crush:19 Magic: 0 Range: 0 Other: Strength: 0 Prayer: 1 So, you can see that the Dragon boots have only one less in defense bonus, while giving 4 to strength, while Bandos Boots offer a minimal prayer bonus. And by the way, Bandos tassets (legwear), offer a +2 strength bonus, although it does require a defense level of 65, which means it is pure-proof

Dear Archimage, I have recruited forces from your very own liquidation squad in order to begin your own process of liquidation, as your ignorance of the world has forced me to conclude that there is simply no other solution. Therefore, please await your liquidators, and do not attempt to scurry, hide, or otherwise impale any of the liquidators, as you do know they are quite expensive. Once liquidated, you shall be reborn as Archimage Underscore B, and shall lead a normal life, however, you must sever the ties to the ADVERT Company and Archiemage Studios. Doing so will prevent further harm to you and society. Thank you. Sincerely, Kam42705 Kam42706 Kam Your Lord, Master, and Saviour

Dear Archiemage, Your ignorance shall never cease to amaze me, for one day, you shall be liquidated yourself. The future you are so willing to see is one entwined with doom- your own. Please remember to keep this is mind as you foolishly act upon the bidding of your master. His name shall not be disclosed, but the truth has been uncovered. Lying upon your desk today, a paper has taken, and replaced by this letter. Upon that piece of paper, I have disclosed the location of your master, and have hidden it under your desk. Please be advised that I will inform your master of this, and as he is immune to liquidation, there is nothing you can do to stop him. Sincerely, Kam42705 Kam42706 Kam Your Lord, Master, Saviour, and Emperor

Dearest Archiemage, Your self assurance and confidence continues to amaze me. Although you show extensive knowledge of the law, there is one fact that you fail to realize, the person you are searching for is nonexistent. To that extent, however, you are searching for a machine, one far beyond your wildest speculations. In that regard, your dispatched liquidators have been liquidated themselves- their brains harvested and their bodies disposed. I shall not disclose the gruesome deaths, however, I have the pleasure to inform you that liquidation, in its most basic form, is rebirth, and through liquidation, your minions have been reborn as my own, where they shall avenge their liquidation by doing the bidding of their liquidator. I'll have much pleasure when this occurs. Thank you. Sincerely, Kam42705 aka. Kam42706 aka. Kam aka. Machine aka. Supreme Ruler of the Multiverse P.S.- They are actually both as you stated... maybe you are more intelligent than you seem :thumbsup: Never mind that... but I do have to say that this is a great story... Especially enjoyed reading the news posts. Wait, before I get off topic (again), I'll just say its fun writing these posts...

Dearest Archiemage, Apparently, as your army of liquidators drew ever so closer to my undisclosed location, I was forced to terminate my own life, and liberate my soul. I do give you my greatest condolences for the loss of liquidation. As my soul was liquidated, it reincarnated into Kam42706, who is eagerly awaiting meeting you in person tomorrow. Please be advised that under Article LXVII of the Worker's Compensation Act, Paragraph 44DD-36E-5674, Kam42706 is hereby exempt from all punishments, rewards, consequences, or any other forms of negative physical, mental, or verbal abuse. Also, Kam42706 is hereby granted the privilege of becoming master of Advert Company, along with Head Producer of Archimage Studios, while Archimage Underscore A has been officially demoted to a rank of nil. This rank is reserved for Archimage Undrscore A for the rest of eternity. The above statements are in effect immediately, and may not be superceded by any claim, waiver, act, law, rule, or regulation, whether it was passed in the past, present, or future. Have a nice day Archimage Underscore A whose rank is nil, the lowest rank possible within this realm. Sincerely, Kam42705 aka- Kam42706 aka- Kam aka- Your New Boss aka- Your Master aka- Your Successor to the Director of ADVERT COMPANY, Head Producer of Archimage Studios aka- Future King of the Realm aka- God aka- Assorted other titles that you will not be able to read before liquidation.

In my opinion, the corrupting part was put in there to help occupy the autoers... that way they wouldn't exactly know that they were banned, but eventually, they would catch on. I understand where you're getting at with the waste of time, but that is the point- the more time you waste on the autoer's part, the less goods enter the economy. All it would do is keep them occupied for another hour, so they are pretty much stalling the autoers from logging in to another account. Dunno if that would be effective though...

An even simpler solution would be to deploy macroers to ban macroers. Now, this would be created on Jagex's part, and they would not count to the 2000 player limit on worlds. What these macroers ought to do is be "characters" that are invisible- no normal client can see them, yet they occupy a vicinity of all major training and macroing areas. When a player meets certain criteria (which are never released), the account is automatically logged off, and issued a temporary ban. Pending on either review by customer service, or if the conditions met exceed the specifications for an autoer, a permanent ban is issued. However, the character is still able to log in, but with a catch, they automatically get teleported to an alternate dimension that is completely isolated from the RS world. The character continues to play the game, however, a file is downloaded to the user's computer (masked as a system file), that disables logins from that computer. The character that was teleported continiues to play, although gameplay becomes corrupted over time, and within the course of a few hours, the coruption is too severe for gameplay, and the person is immediately logged off due to "lag," never able to play again. This would effectively terminate most autoers, without creating much strain on the servers...

Dearest Archiemage, Sorry Archiemage... under Article MXII of the Federation of the Advancement of Birds, your corporation is being terminated due to insufficient funds. The liquidators apparently withdrew an "extra" 50 billion from your bank account, and since you surpassed the generous credit line of 12 gp, you company's licenses have been terminated, and please await while you are tried for unlawful imprisonment of 13 birds! May death row be upon you. Sincerely, Kam42705 President of the Federation of Advancement of Birds, and the Organization of Lawful Imprisonment.

Rainlendar is a great one... It is a desktop calendar with a todo list and a reminder list all in one. It's not much of a memory hog like widgets either...