darkforaster

~ Chapter 6, After Hell - part 2 ~ "Me and my brother, we were close as children. We always played, told jokes and got along well. However." Darunia continued after a short pause. Then spoke quietly. "Our lives were similar to that of Zamorak's and Saradomin's. I was the blessed, he was the cursed. I followed Saradomin. As most men do these days. However, Gawain chose the path of Zamorak." "Now he's found the power Zamorak found long ago. Except I didn't discover it as well. Now Destiny could well be aginst us. For the souls of the army was absorbed by Zamorak. The only power left in it was the previous user's soul. That is Zamorak." "Gawain has absorbed Zamorak's soul. Freeing him from his prison. But in return, Giving Gawain his strength. So now, fighting aginst Gawain is not an easy task. As it will be fighting against Zamarak himself. Aided with the power Gawain originally held." "I am the leader of the saradomin clan. The Dragonal clan." Everyone was startled by this news. " Our clan was not wiped out by the raid, but there are little of us left. Fortunately, our numbers are rising. So we will give our aid in helping the defeat of Zamorak." He bowed then walked off. He walked over to Petra, who was picking up the remains of the general store. He comforted her. Showed sympathy for her. Even though they were enemies. If only life was like that thought Charles. Dervish arrived with a sack full of ore. He was not his cheerfulself since his battle with Gawain, in fact he hasn't smiled since. His body was on autopilot. Walking through the crowds of people, straight up to the furnace. He put the ores in one by one, still concentrating on the ground before him. Perplexed at the actions before. Charles was finally greeted by a knight dressed in silver and gold armour. He hair was long and her smile was gentler than a cool summer breeze. She wore no helmet, so her face was easy to see. "Charles is it?" Charles nodded, allowing her to continue. "My name is Lucia, the strongest varrock knight. And Duke Betwoc's most trusted advisor." She was well mannered and beautiful. Worthy of such titles. "Gawain has caused many problems in Varrock. Now Zamorak mages roam the streets. Eradicating those who look at them with fear, but no respect. As I speak, they are burning the churches without hesitation." "Those two came on thier own will." Lucia pointed at Petra an Darunia. "But I was sent as an escort for a representative of Lumbridge to see Duke Betwoc." "Normally we would let you decide, but we silver knights wish for Dervish to come. As he had a first-person view of the incident. But of course, he does not live here. So I'd also like Charles to come." "Is that ok, you two?" Charles and Dervish nodded. "Good, now follow me."

~ Chapter 6, After Hell - part 1 ~ Gawain had left, but evidence of his appearance was scattered all over Lumbridge. The clearest of which was the jewel shop, which was now just a furnace. The books, the gems. They all burnt. Along with the shopkeeper. The fire didn't end there however, Geoffrey lost his shop to the blaze as well. All that was left of his small hut, was stone ruins. The very foundations were the only pleasant sight of it. The rest was just ash. Lumbridge was calm. Not a bird sang in the clear skies. Not a wind blew through the village. Not a goblin disturbed the silence. It was as if the scenary felt the pain of the villagers. The ruin of the village itself. The devastation of all. But even in the dark hours of that time, hope still shone on thier lives. They were the Destined ones, the folk of Lumbridge. The most heroic in all the lands. But this hope was a relief to all the darkness. People slaying the peril. Cutting through the depression. It may not seem like much. But company was this saviour. Having each other was like heaven for these simple peasants. But it was not just them there, helping to rebuild the village. Three others, from other places came. To help the desperate. One in blue, one in shining armour. The other dressed in red. The red was the first to greet them. "I heard what Gawain did to this village. I am Petra, a leader of Zamorak's followers. Along with the other few leaders. Which Gawain is one of." Petra looked down. Her words drowned with pity. "Zamorak's folowers are not inhuman, we merely dislike Saradomin. Who was given everything from birth." Sadness was substituted by anger. "You know that don't you? You found out?" Charles nodded. "Gawain has faced many challenges in the past. Do not blame his misjudgement. Please." "He is my husband. I cannot bear to think of life without him. He is faithful and loyal. Please understand." Petra left off. Crying. Not comprehending her husband's treachery. A blue mage came next. "I am Gawain's brother." He said. "I am Darunia."

Live maps is just the name I came up with for a title of all of the ideas, but since I figured not everyone would agree with everything, I separated the ideas and if Jagex ever takes these suggestions seriously - I bet they'll read the whole thread, so they'll get the jist of the most popular suggestiong (KaW :P ) Anyway, I don't wanna take up your whole signature, so here's one for ya with just your supoprted ideas: ;) The image is too large for the signature. BUt I changed it anyway.

my signature shows the three I like. I believe that thier the best ones because they are the most realistic. rockslides happen, animals don't just stay in the same place. And of course kingdowms fighting each other would be normal. However, I disagree with the prices idea. Then all the general stores would have extremely high prices and all the minor stores in rimmington won't buy anything for a decent price. It just goes mad. Sorry do not support that idea. Live maps I'm 1/2 and 1/2. I don't understand it full however. I disagree with the moving trees however, as it causes too much confusion with me. After all tree's can't grow just side by side. so some realism would be lost that way.

I like the story. But I'm not 100% sure of it's content. a) When a new person speaks you have to start a new paragraph. this may make the text unbelievably long. But It helps the eyes. B) repetitive use of words. "He approached the approaching man." Please don't let that happen. It ghets frustrating after a while. c) describe the places more. I am hearing very basic words like asked and said. Why not exclaimed or anounced. petrified and horified, not scary and freaky. But this story has potetial to go far. You jsut need to edit it a bit.

Thanks, but i already had a plot in mind. it just needed the opening events. The Goblin battle and ruby's death were vital for my story to continue. Without those occurances, the story falls apart. [spoilers]~~~~~~ [/spoilers] Don't go there, I write stories too ya know. :-k :-k :-k :-k :-k :-k :-k :-k :-k :-k don't go where? I don't understand you post.

Thanks, but I already had a plot in mind. it just needed the opening events. The Goblin battle and ruby's death were vital for my story to continue. Without those occurances, the story falls apart.

~ Chapter 5, Necklace of Souls - part 3 ~ "I need that necklace so give it to me now. It is the only thing that can repay for my sins." Gawain looked desperate. Oscar and Dervish however were less willing to hand it over than they were before. "A necklace with this kind of power should not be given to anyone. Neither you, nor I deserve it's strength." Oscar said calmly. Ignoring the threats Gawain made. "It should be destroyed." At that Gawain screamed and picked up his staff. "If you won't give it to me willingly. Then I'll use brute force to get what I want. I desire that more than anything else. Without that, Master will punish me. For eternity left to the fires of hell. that destiny is not mine. Now give me that necklace. Dervish drew his sword and slashed at Gawain. But the sword was stopped by the staff. Which Gawain held high. So dervish was forced back, but persisted to attack. But everytime he attacked, he failed. Whether Gawain dodged, or it was blocked. Dervish could not land a hit. "Pathetic." Gawain looked at Dervish, aiming his staff steadily. Oscar could do nothing. Inevitably, Gawain went on the offensive. He shot a red ball of power at Dervish, it hurtled through the air at an inhuman speed. Hitting Dervish and sending him flying. He burst through the wall beside Charles, who went to his aid. Fortunately, Dervish was just unconscious. Charles let out a sigh of relief and turned to to the battly. He saw Oscar and Gawain in a battle of magic. Oscar shot a lighting bolt, and Gawain let out a beam of red energy. The two attacks collided and fought for supremacy. Both mages put more magical energy into thier attacks. But Oscar was the first to run out. So he dodged to the side as the beam overwhelmed the lighting. It struck the necklace, making it glow. It was enchanted. Gawain picked it up, and put it on. Then, magic overflowed from the mage's body. Bursting through his skin. His burns healed at an alarming rate. "I am a god!" Gawain shrieked. He leaped up and down and did one last move before vanishing from sight. He pointed his staff at the furnace, which exploded with the power channeled into it. Setting the whole building alight- with Oscar inside it. Not long after the inferno started Oscar came out screaming. Flesh burning under the heat. He collapsed and didn't move. Oscar was dead. ~ End of chapter 5 ~

~ Chapter 5, Necklace of Souls - part 2 ~ The name of the necklace was revealed. But the name made it seem more deadly than it appears. "The necklace of souls? That's what this thing is when enchanted?" Oscar asked, curious of the jewel. "No, that is what it is now. When enchanted it contains a soul. All this jewel can do is be the container of a soul. Releasing the being inside to the one who wears it." Gawain laughed. He obviously wanted this power for himself. He described it as if the soul was powerful. "But the soul depends of the enchanter, if someone with a pure heart enchants it. The soul is pure. But if a heart like mine gave it power. The soul will be evil." Gawain frowned, he reached out again. But was stopped by Dervish, who held his sword next to his neck. "The Zamorakian crystal makes a necklace of souls. But what about a saradomin crystal? If one exists. What necklace does that make?" Dervish demanded. Angered by Gawain's attitude to danger. "That is a different legend for a different time. I wasn't sure if this necklace existed for sure, how would I know if the enemy has a similar necklace?" Although Gawain was an enemy, he spoke the truth. Through and through. Dervish put his sword away. But prepared to attack Gawain. In case he made any sudden moves. "But why is this necklace so important to you?" "Did you hear him say about a great power he discovered?" Gawain asked, Oscar and Dervish both nodded. "This necklace was the great power. One was enchanted by good, the other enchanted by bad. Zamorak found the bad, Saradomin found the good." "The necklaces held the spirits of all those who died fighting in the first war. This enabled Zamorak to become a god like he is now. He absorbed the souls on his side of the war. Saradomin absorbed his own as well." "The power to become a god... is right in your hands!" ~end of part 2~

~ Chapter 5, Necklace of Souls - part 1 ~ "Give me the necklace now." Gawain spoke slowly. As if he was still recovering from Zamorak's illusion. "I need it. Give it to me." Oscar shook his head. Gawain began a rampage. "You don't know how long I have waited to get that necklace. You don't know what I've been through to get here." He paces up and down the store, turns to Oscar and shouts right at him. "You just don't understand do you?" Oscar shaked his head. "Your right, I probably don't understand it. Why should I? It is none of my buisness. Now calm down sir, or you must leave." He looked calmly into Gawain's eyes. Not blinking. Trying to unnerve him. "Calm down? or leave?" Gawain walked up to the bookshelves, and threw half a dozen books into the furnace. "You have no power over me, old man. In fact, I should make the rules here." "Oh really?" Dervish wiped the last of the vomit from his mouth. "Then why are we in control? Surely we'd let you do what you like if you made the rules?" Dervish laughed. Teasing the mage. Infuriating him. "That is because you think you are in control of me. An illusion. Like the one i have just experienced. Except much less horrific." Gawain looked at the floor. "Zamarak showed me the death's, the deaths of so many. Warfare like that was truly scary." "They all died, each in strange ways. With thier heads chopped off or guts ripped out." Gawain calmed down, but his fists were clenched. Ready to throw a punch at any time. "You can't even imagine what horrors I've seen. So don't make fun of me. "Silence, and give me the necklace of souls. Or pay the price." ~ end of part 1 ~

~ Chapter 4, The illusion - part 3 ~ I was cursed with misfortune. Forced to live my life in fear of what occurances would happen to me. My life was filled with dangers. Around every corner, I expected to die. Thinking every day was my last. But somehow surviving through it all. But my brother was a completely different story, he was blessed. Possessed by good fortune. Unlike me. Everything he did was the right choice. Everything went perfect for him. Favourite of the family. I was nothing compared to him. This drove us apart. I was jealous of him. So seeked power to destroy him. So maybe his luck would be passed on to me. I trained long and hard. And faced obstacles all the time. At this point Gawain screamed again. Seeing a horrible past. Gawain, my search of power encouraged others to join me. To follow in my footsteps. To learn how to be strong and recover from all life's hard work. But in the same way it inspired many, I enraged many. Including my brother. We went to war against each other, my followers against his followers. His side won. As always. But the battle was gruesome, afterwards only me and him remained. All else had perished or fled. Although he won the fight, he did not kill me. But forced me to make an oath saying I will never search for power like that again. I was forced to agree. As i had no other option. "Then how did you get this p-p-powerful now? M-m-master, did you b-b-b-break the oath?" Gawain muttered. Not believing what he heard. He obviously thought that Zamorak was honest. But neither Oscar nor Dervish believed that from what they heard. No. The power fell into my hands. I did not search for the power. The power searched for me. But this power was also given to Saradomin. The brother I hate more than I hate any other. It was destiny that gave me this power. But my brother did not believe me, a power like this is not found so easily. So we fought one more time. It ended in a stalemate. But this battle trained our powers. Allowing us to become the gods we are today. Seen enougth yet? Or is more pain needed? Gawain shook his head. Shame, I did not squeeze any fun out of you. But anyway. Go out and finish my work. Or you shall face much harsher punishments than you did today. Gawain returned to reality. His gaze focused on the necklace. Adoring it more than ever. ~ end of chapter 4 ~

~ Chapter 4, The illusion - part 2 ~ There is no reason for me to save you. You are nothing in my eyes. You are just a mere shadow of the real me. The voice said again. Oscar, Dervish and Charles were alarmed. The voice was abnormal, like no other human voice. So obviously belonged to a greater power. "But master! I have been a loyal servant to you. I have never betrayed you. I have never killed my kin." The man was trembling in fear. Not in control of his emotion. Shear panic had won out. This was a sign of weakness to many, but Charles understood his fear. The fear of the stronger. A fear he has encountered many times. Loyal! Hah. You spit at my name. I know of many more loyal to me than you. Besides. I know torture can be entertaining sometimes. Nothing pleases me more than watching my victims suffer. Like the way you will now. At that the mage screamed. Runs around in circles, like a blind mouse fleeing from a cat. "Please master, let's not be too hasty. I got the necklace made, isn't that enougth." Oscar looked down at the necklace in his hands. Now understanding that it has a bigger role in this than he thought. "Please stop." First you shall know the pain I went through as a mortal. Being born with my angelic brother. Saradomin, who has been a pain to me throughout my existence here. Prepare yourself Gawain. You are about to see my true force at work. "No, anything but that. Please reconsider." Gawain's body stopped shaking. His glowing red eyes looked forward and focused at the space ahead. Zamorak was clearly showing him an image. That only he could see. However, Zamoraks voice was heard throughout the room. Allowing Charles, Oscar and Dervish to Eavesdrop on his torturing. You see me as a child, when i was human. I was playing with my brother, like all children do. We grew up together, protected each other. Loved each other. So it is strange how we are enemies today. But even true friends can turn into bitter archenemies. Luck was all it took for our ways to seperate. Even something as trivial as that. Can be the most powerful force.

~ Chapter 4, The illusion - part 1 ~ The necklace came out perfectly, like all of Oscar's jewellery. The gem shone more fiercely now, and the staff followed suit. The staff and necklace reacted with each other. In a more sinister way than the mage interpreted. He gazed at the glow. As if hypnotised under it's light. After a few moments he looked up, reached out to take it. But was stopped by Oscar. "This necklace belongs to me and Dervish. Not you. If you wish to buy it. Then I may allow a deal to come to pass. But until then, this necklace shall be out of your reach. Guarded by me. And my fellow villagers." The mage grinded his teeth together. Thinking of a way out of his predicament. He clearly had no money. Especially not enougth for this sacred jewel. But he had to get it. This was the item he wished for his whole lifetime. But it evaded his reach once again. While waiting for a response, The mage screamed. Clutched his hands to his face and fell down. He jerked violently. His muscles out of control. He dropped the staff, which rolled away. Gently stopping near the shop counter. The pain receeded. He let go of his head and showed two burn marks. His flesh beneath his hair had melted, and was a sticky substance on his hands. The flesh was still sizzling. Bubbling constantly. Dervish was sick at the sight. Blood escaped from the gaping holes in his head, flowing down his cheek like a river. A river of blood. This blood slowly hit the floor, making a small puddle, before the blood ceased. He was breathing heavily now, still in terrible pain. But continued to stand nevertheless. Then, like a bolt from the blue, he shrieked like a rabid dog. His eyes and hands glowed red. On the hands, was a mysterious symbol in the shape of a red demon. It's body was deformed though, as if half was burnt off. "Zamorak!" The mage whimpered. He was under an illusion. His body moving around aimlessly, as if he believed he was somewhere else. "Don't hurt me Zamorak, please. I'm begging you." The mage began to cry. Then, a voice came from nowhere. You still haven't fulfilled my request? Impudent fool. I shall show you true horrors. Of my past, and of your future. "Please Zamorak. Spare my life. Forgive me, my lord."

I suppose i fall into that kind of catagory. But i suppose I am a bit too wary fro my own good. But meh, if it means a longer lifetime. I'll stay the way I am thank you very much. But they aren't overreacting. under 21 users get drunk much more easily than the 21 +. As you grow older, you grow less hyper (unless your a maniac, then alcohole is fine) meaning your body reacts in a less hyper way to beer. And trust me you do silly things while drunk- you drink more. Plus your body's more vulnerable when you are younger. So I completely disagree. In fact, I don't plan on ever having alcohole. I'll stick with what i know is safe- good old juice,squash and water. I think i'll start of coffee and tea when I'm slightly older. Why? I like quick drinks. I'm too impatiant to wait fro a kettle to boil. So i will have to work on that first. edit: Plus, i read a survey that said that alcohole is actually worse for you than smoking is. and that really is saying something. P.S. Whoever said they smoked. Quit while your ahead. Trust me, it wrecks your life and the others around you. Smoking is the worst thing you can do in your life. Even being an alcoholic is better for you.

Unlimited bank space will gnaw through JaGEx's server memory like a rat through a piece of cheese. Also, people will go aroung saying, "Pmg! An iron ore! Bank it zOmg!" I have to agree with you there. Even if A bank space is empty, it takes up memory. It's because it's a java game (at least that's what I heard). But i don't understand why people would say that. [offtopic] Your siganture says "click here to take the gullibility test" But there's no hyper link there :lol: :roll: :-s [/offtopic]

~ Chapter 3, It begins - part 3 ~ The figure enters Lumbridge, there, he pulls out a wooden staff with a red tip. At the end of the staff was a red orb, glowing in a similar fashion to the crystal. Except it was much more bright. He was obviously a mage, as no warrior or archer would ever use a staff. But under the staff's glow you could dimly see the mages face or at least the small details. Such as the nose, mouth, and eyes. However, his hair concealed his ears. And the hair was covered in darkness. Making it impossible to see. He approached the Jewel shop, removed his hood. Charles examined his grotesque figure. Unlike any other he had seen before. It looked dark and weary. Giving him an evil appearance. He could be nice... Charles thought. But in his heart. He knew this man was pure evil. He was just too scared to admit it. He appeared to be in a strange clan, filled with life-long traditions. Maybe he was one of the ancient members of the Dragonal Clan, found North of Ealador, West of Edgeville. No, that clan was wiped out years ago by a goblin raid. All that's left is the ruins of thier base. where the goblins now live. Charles was debating over it inside his mind. Totally ignoring his greeting, and entrance into the Jewel store. Oscar and Dervish were still arguing. "For the last time! There is no evidence that this gem is safe. We must get an expert to-" "It's perfectly safe, don't worry." Said the man. He had a deep voice. Filled with pain and depression. Oscar studied the man closely, not trusting him by his appearance. He had Red hair, red finger nails and blood red lips. All unnatural colours. So easily spotted. "Trust me." His Dark brown eyes switched to looking at Dervish, to the gem then to Oscar. With a gaze filled with hatred. And a willingness to destroy everything in sight. "I told you, Oscar. He obviously knows about this red zamarakian crystal." Dervish smiles. Melancholy with his victory. Oscar slides the Gold in. Smelts the bar of Gold, then Makes the necklace with the jewel inside it. The man starts to cackle. His laugh was inhuman and made both Dervish and Oscar start to feel nervous. They now knew of his evil. But could do nothing to stop him. Destiny's work had begun... ~end of chapter 3~

~ Chapter3, It begins - part 2 ~ "I think we should make an Amulet out of it. I'm sure it would sell for lots of money." Dervish suggested. Obviously oblivious to the crystal's charm. However, Oscar was not fooled so easily. As he seemed to sense the evil power lurking within it. "We should get an expert to see this." Oscar said, expelling the temptation out of his mind. "Although I know much about gems, the information I know of this particular crystal is limited to the facts inside this book. Neither you nor me know about it enougth. Who knows, It could smash in the heat of the furnace. "You worry too much Oscar." Dervish laughed, his attitude remaining carefree in the presence of a serious man like Oscar. "Come on, every other gem has survived the furnace. Why wouldn't this one?" "You can't know for sure that it will not explode. You could put this entire village at risk. Who knows if it won't release a poisonous gas, which kills us all. Then the knowledge of it would be lost with the village!" The pair continue to bicker. No end to the argument. One putting up valid points about how it is safe, the other gives valid points on how it is unsafe. But neither is swayed to the other side. In fact they were unaware of the man in red robes approaching the village, who took small steps through the forests. The face concealed in shadows, and his body wrapped tightly in clothing. The red figure looked directly at Oscar and Dervish. As if staring at thier very souls. As he continued through the forests, the goblins hid behind rocks and trees. Terrified of this being. He was confident of himself, and he showed his immense strength through the goblins. Who fled at his sight. As he crossed the river, the flow quicked. As if the very river was petrified of this man. Charles notcied him first. Then he noticed the effect on the atmosphere around him. He was about to warn the others, but he was too late.

It's inevitable realy. At some point we really are going to overrun the earth's resources. From 6 billion to 9 billion thoguh... it's just.... wow. Breeding like rabbits I suppose. The cause of overpopulation are the curable diseases. Without them being cured, many more would die. However, if they were never cured then the human fate might alter to the bad side as well. Thank goodness for viruses, which are much harder to stop. The solution? Start training drugs on humans instead of animals, the human death rate would increase due to the failure of drugs, but the rest can still live on. Plus maybe some animals would get territorial against us. The mass bear attack or something. :-k

my opinion is "in the beginning God created the heavens and the earth." God created everything he loves all so much he knows whats happening today before we do he knows tomorrow before us he knows us better than we do. destiny yes we have a so called "destiny" but its not a major force God is the one. i think destiny and fate are something someone made up to accomadate God we are all empty and searching for God and until we find him we will fill such a place in us with the things of this world food, clothes, ect. we all do it but lets remember that God sent his only son to die for us and wash our sins away. so again we have destinies but when i die i will either go to heaven or hell. and in life my destiny might be to be mom, celebrity, or whatever God wants us to be. Thanks for your opinions. But remember, I don't want this turning into a flame war. So be careful when talking about god. I don't want my thread locked becuase others disagree with your religion. Oh, and BUMP too.

~ Chapter3, It begins - part 1 ~ An average day in Lumbridge. With Dervish collecting ore, Oscar selling gems and Wildheart boasting about the victory. "Yes, it was Dervish who killed ol'waartvace but if it was not for me, then we would have not won." Wildheart told Charles, who rolled his eyes. "Yes, I distracted the fiends. Allowing Dervish the chance to spar with waartvace." All was normal with the village. "I'm sure you did, Wildheart." Wildheart blushed, not sensing the sarcasm in Chalie's tone. Charles laughed. "Oscar! I need you to confirm Wildheart's story here." At that Wildheart left off in a rampage. Not noticing that Oscar didn't reply to Charles. I wonder what Oscar's doing, he's been chatting to Dervish for a long time now. Charles thought, so he decided to investigate. Being as nosy as possible. But keeping secretive. Just incase Oscar didn't want to reveal the content of his personal life. "I found this Gem in the rocks while mining today." It was Dervish. "It looks like a crystal, but your the jewel expect around here. What do you think of it?" Charles peeked over the Shop window and saw Dervish holding a gem out towards Oscar. It was translucent, but had a red centre. The blood red ball pulsed. Like a beating heart in a human body. It seemed to call out to Charles, luring him in. Inviting him into it's grasp. As if it was saying You need me Charles, take me for yourself. Don't let these people take me. It is is you alone who deserves me! Charles ignored this voice as the pair continued to speak. "Yes, I have seen this somewhere. Let me see. Ah, yes. in the Identifying rare gems manual. Let me just find it." Oscar had recently built a library. He was searching each row of books, skimming the titles. "Here it is. Let me see..." Another pause as Oscar flicks through the pages of the book. Rushing past each page. Scanning for the image. "The Red 'Zamorakian' Crystal. One of the rarest gems in the world. Usually found in the Rune mines in the wastelands to the north. But can also be found near Al Kharid, but there it is even harder to discover." "What's Zamorakian?" Dervish asked. During that time, little knew of any other god than Saradomin. "Don't ask me, but it doesn't appear good." Oscar looked down at the crystal in his hands. The orb rapidly beating. Making the crystal glow for no apparent reason. The crystal is evil. stay away. Charles thought. A cold shiver went down his spine.

I guess you mean What luster can the stars hold here? The sky here shows no boundaries. You might want to edit that bit. Plus you have various spelling mistakes. Including the word ancient, which seems to be repeatedly spelt wrong. I suggest reading through it, scamming for errors. It's what I did with my story. just to edit out the mistakes. Only got up to chapter 12. But I have to go now. I'll read the rest later. The negatives aside, I like the plot of the story. Not only that, but your description is incredibly realistic. As if i was there. Your characters have thier own seperate attitudes to one another. This makes the story A complete success. I'll read The_Corrupt later on, if i get the chance that is...

Chapter 2, Trapped - part 4. Most of the goblins were dead. Only half a dozen remained standing. But Lumbridge was growing weary. Charles fainted from exhaustion. His lance was just to big for it's own good. Midna had run out of arrows, and Oscar did not have any energy left to cast spells. On top of all that, Geoffry and Bastian were still fiddling with herbs and potions. All, in all. The fight was now even, A goblin of high rulership- General Waartvace- still stood, and some of his most loyal goblins remained. It was surely a fight to the death. With Wildheart and Dervish V 5 Goblins and General Waartvace. "Wildheart, could you use those axes of your to keep the other goblins busy? I want to go fight with General Waartvace there." Dervish asked Wildheart. Intent of getting all the glory. "Ok, but how?" Wildheart replied. With the same eagerness to kill as dervish. "Throw your axes at them. tell the others to bring all the axes in your shop here, we will need everything we have to keep them at bay." Wildheart nodded then told teh rest of his plan. Midna and Oscar immeadiately set off. Without hesitation towards Wildheart's axe shop. They returned later in a hurry, dropped the axes then went off to collect more. Wildheart threw one axe at the goblin group, who immeadiately dodged. At that time, Dervish took the opportunity at hand. He swung his pickaxe at the general, which was stooped by a finely carved wooden sword. The goblins had recovered at that time, and started rushing to the general's aid. But wildheart persisted in attacking them. Axe after axe, hurled with little aim. Used only as a distraction. With a near-endles supply of axes to throw. Dervish, using his hammer, tryed to pound Waartvace in the belly. But the hammer was caught mid-swing by waartvace's spare hand. He then kicked at dervish, pounding him back. But he moved ahead nonetheless. Doing his best to protect his friends. Waartvace swung his sword, Dervish dodged and sent his two weapons directly at waartvace's head. The hammer was caught, but the pickaxe continued. It made contact with the side of his head. Piercing through the flesh and into the skull. The goblin general collapsed, dead. His fellow soldiers saw this and fled. Losing their honour and dignity in the process. "We won." Devish said, quietly. "We WON!" he repeated it, again and again. "We won. We won. We won." ~end of chapter 2~

~ Chapter 2, Trapped- part 3 ~ The hordes of goblins approached them. 58 In total, both male and female were in the attack. The first attack was launched by 5 or so Goblins, who threw thier spears at the Lumbridge folk. But Oscar muttered a quick spell, causing the spears to deflect. Impaling some of the goblins. But then, the hand-to-hand ran into them. Charles lunged forward with his lance, piercing through 3 goblins. He tryed to dislodge the bodies off the lance, but he had no time. Instead, he slammed the side of the lance into the goblins. However, this only knocked them unconscious. So they will awaken and re-enter the fray later on. Wildheart appeared to be having the time of his life. "Woohoo!" He shrieked after slicing another goblin's head off. The head rolled across the floor. Midna nearly threw up at the sight of it. "Oi! Dervish. I bet 10 silver coins I can kill more than you." "Ok." Dervish grinned, he stabbed another goblin in the stomach. Acids oozing everywhere. "I make that 6." He was having as much fun as Wildheart, but was much more skillful at it. "Oh. 7 Now." Wildheart laughed. "7? ha! I've killed 9 so far." Wildheart attacks them again, with many goblins against him. No sense of pride now. The goblins just fought like savages. "I bet you have." Dervish said sarcastically, dodging another attack. Behind him, various bolts of lighting emerged. It was Oscar, using nature to his advantage. He shot a lighting bolt into the crowd, killing all in it's path instantly. "Whoa! Now that's what I call magic." Dervish smirked again. Midna ran into the barracks, retrieved a bow and some arrows and joined beside Charles. She shot all the unconscious dead, and even shot at a few random goblins in the fighting. She was still shaking, so her aim was not perfect. But this caused those hit to be put under pain before their inevitable death. But through all this dead, General Waartvace never joined. Until now that is.

~ Chapter 2: trapped - part 2 ~ Charles looked around, still unsure of thier victory. He saw Dervish, equipped with an addy picaxe in one hand and a hammer in the other. All that time mining really gave him a lot of strength. Plus he was wearing full iron armour- iron platebody,chainmail and an iron medium helmet. He was definately the most likely to survive. Wildheart looked confident, he stood his ground. Without a trace of doubt in his eyes, which were focused on one thing- the goblins. Unlike Dervish, he had no armour. But he weilded two black axes. One in each hand. Charles had a long iron lance, given to him by Dervish the day before the raid. He also had a Bronze square shield strapped onto his left arm- the lance was so heavy, that he needed both hands to lift it. Behind them, were Midna, Geoffry, Oscar and Bastian. "What a bad time to come buy herbs." Muttered Bastian. He was using herbs Geoffry gave him and making defence and strength potions. "They're nearly ready everyone. Just hang in there." Midna was begging for forgiveness from Saradomin. She was always so terrified of death. Now, she might just die -this knowledge could have killed her. Trembling badly, her words were rushed and often slurred. She had no form of protection, otehr than the clothes she wore. Which would never stop a spear or dagger. Oscar had black wizard robes on. He was a trained wizard now, and was capable of using many spells. In his left hand he held a spell book. It was thick, and had many spells in it. The army continued as they braced themselves for the first strike. What appeared to be their leader came to a stop, barked a few words at the few dozen of goblins behind him. They all halted on the spot. The leader was watching bastian. They wanted to speak with them. "Trozen, carconialle ope istre Yoprust Waartvace." The Leader said, his voice was dark. It appeared he knew no english. "Greh? Trojrun? Trojennnn?" Dervish quietly whispered to the group "Do any of you speak Goblin?" They shaked thier heads. He sighed, then turned to the General of the goblins. "Du sprecken ze Englisch?" He pronouced the german badly, along with incorrect use of words. The general cocked and eyebrow at Dervish. The goblins misunderstood what he said. Goblins never spoke German, in fact. It was rare that People in that area knew any German. So Dervish was one of a kind. "Prectwon?" The general asked. Although Dervish meant no offence by what he said. To be true, there is nothing offensive with the words 'Do you speak english?' Unfortunately for them, the General Waartvace did take offence from it. "Requp dix frohgnium!" He shouted, and then the attack procceeded. "So it begins." Oscar muttered from behind them.

~ Chapter 2, Trapped - part 1. ~ The next few weeks were like heaven in Lumbridge. Oscar practised magic to bless his jewelry, and Dervish brang gold from the mines north of Al Kharid. Not only that, various weapons and armours were sold to Geoffry's shop which were stored in a newly made barrocks (today known as Lumbridge castle). But, as thier welfare grew. Another's weakened. Goblins. These hideous creatures had recently fell ill upon a goblin plague. They tried to escape the plague, by moving to the forests West of Lumbridge. But alas, the disease went wherever they went. It stalked them, killing many. Just like a cheetah hunting. Lumbridge had become very popular lately. With many from other towns and cities arrving there. And soon, the apothecary man from Varrock came. "I'm looking for one called Oscar. I hear he sells jewels here?". He asked. He was awfully pale, especially for a man of medicine. "Well, look no futher. I am the one you seek." Oscar replied, giving him a royal tone. "What buisness do you have with me?" "I am Bastian, the Varrock docter." He answered, "I am in need of your assistance. My bottles of medicine have been smashed to bits by local thugs. I wonder if you can give me some herbs to make some more. I assume you use herbs to bless your jewelry?" "Sorry, I don't use herbs. Magic is formed using runes." Bastian looked grim. "But I hear Geoffry's store has lots of buisness. I wonder if anyone has sold him some herbs? But don't get your---" a scream interuppts him. "Help! Goblins to the east and west. Take cover everyone." It was midna, she sounded terrified. As Oscar and Bastian left the shops, they saw them. Charging towards the village. Blaming the citizens of Lumbridge for thier misfortune. "Everyone!" Oscar shouted at the top of his lungs. "Don't panic. Regroup at the Armoury. Hurry." Everyone did as they were told. There, they retrieved weapons and prepared themselves to fight. They tried to look as mean as possible. But actually they were terrified. As the opposing army approached. Every breath became deeper. All thier fears became worsened. Lumbridge was a peacful community, they never fought. So had little fighting experience. The goblins, however, were extremely different. They often fought against themselves and weak humans. Fortunately, goblins in those times were honourable creatures. So never stabbed someone in the back, they fought one on one. Using daggers discarded by humans, various spears made out of trees and they hade claws. All capable of slicing you to bits. But in a fairer way, allowing the victem to die in a better way. Goblins were not inhuman at that time, just ugly. In fact, they were a very organised group. They battled using strategies, strength and self-confidence. This was the beginning of thier beastly attitude towards humans. This was when it began to show.