Omar

For lack of a better choice doesn't involve a downgrade. It just means your first wish wasn't fulfilled.

The HUD of my Sarcasm Scanner just exploded. Uhm, what he's saying makes a lot of sense.

None of which I would have a problem with to be honest. If fruit's in love/has oneitis with that person, I don't think that would satisfy him. And dark, vicariously means for lack of a better choice.

I beg to differ. (Last Wednesday night) Then odds are either she doesn't see you as a friend, she had sex with you vicariously, or it was Christmas sex.

Nah, I don't have a problem with you not liking it. I have a problem with you calling it [cabbage]. I don't like it either TBH.

Cardigans are named after a man, guys. They were worn by sailors to withstand cold weather, the same way pea coats were.

Christ [bleep], there's nothing that pisses me off more than people like you.

The first time I smoked weed, a cute girl asked me to open up a freezie for her, and I told her there was a secret method to doing it - and there is - but my once nimble and agile fingers were unable to perform because I was under the influence. And later she asked me for my number and I told her it was my mom's phone. Which is true, I use my mom's cell. But I could have given her my home phone.

That's the "Introduction" part of the book.

I'm going to borrow a friend's black blazer.

Gonna go buy stuff for a semi-formal. Cognac derbies, matching belt, white tee.

No, whenever you say something funny, it's usually in a post that's not directed at anyone in particular. For example, at the end of a post narrating your successes with the women on the relationship thread.

No, actually, you're one of the least caustic people on this board if you ask me. Whenever you say something funny, it's never making fun of someone.

It's not artistically brilliant or original, but it does have the merit of having a lot of catchy tunes. That's not necessarily easy to do.

Understatement: "Whatever, it's only cancer." (no ridicule) Sarcasm: "You plan on working at McDonald's all your life? Well, it does have a pretty outstanding salary." (lots of ridicule) Both of those fall into verbal irony.

Not necessarily to offend, but always to deride or criticize.

There's verbal irony, situational irony, and dramatic irony. Verbal irony is produced intentionally by the speaker. Situational irony is when something doesn't happen the expected way (for example, a man breaks his leg, is taken into an ambulance, the ambulance dashes away, the doors open, the man falls out and is hit by a car. It's ironic because what was supposed to help him out just made it worse). Dramatic irony is when you know something that the character doesn't know (you know where the bad guy is hiding in a horror movie, and the protagonist, not knowing that he's there, attempts to escape in that direction). Sarcasm only fits in the verbal umbrella. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Irony

I've been playing Zelda: The Ocarina of Time for way too long.

Well, it's partly our fault. You're not supposed to be furiously rubbing elbows with your friends in physics class.

Nothing planned today. I went to bed at 1 AM so I could sleep off as much of the day as I could. I woke up at 9. #-o

Opening is so easy. Just do something playful or ask her opinion on something. If you can't think of something make up a story on a relationship or something else girls are into. Hey, you're awesome! Hi five! You know what, you're awesome too! Hi five! *do the hair touch thing) Oooooohh I can't believe you fell for that. So.... Hey there, quick opinion on something. I was having a debate with my ex (pre selection, protector of loved ones, check.) about whether or not guys can tell if a girl is wearing make up. I'm pretty sure most guys can't but girls can. (social knowledge, check) (she answers, and you can go on that if you want. otherwise:) Are you wearing make up? (pretty much a guaranteed yes for any girl over 16) Oh, let me see your hand. (slap it playfully, humor, check.)That's for cheating. If she says no, I'm glad you can go out and not be concerned about your looks. (make sure she knows you're joking) 4 attraction switches and you've only started the conversation. Or just walk up and say: Hey, I'd be kicking myself all day if I didn't come up and say hi to you. Okay, I sort of get it now. Thanks :)

Well, uh, yeah. I don't know. Now that I think of it, beef is only the name of the meat. :P

I still don't have the guts to go up to a girl I don't know, just out of the blue. I have no idea what to say. Say I'm at the bus stop and I want to approach a girl, what could I say to start a conversation?

I went glow-in-the-dark mini-putting for a friend's birthday, and I hung out with her and a bunch of people after. My sock ripped. I feel like a bum when I look at my feet, I can see every single one of my left toes.

Beef brain. The taste and the texture.