Unoalexi

I can easily understand the story, thank you very much. You're a twelve year old fresh from the RSOF!? :shock: Sorry, didn't mean to offend anyone, I was just pointing out that his language was a bit collegey...

Very good, however I noticed some mistakes.. You keep spelling Zammorakian wrong. Now, I'm not going to make to go back and fix it in all those places, however it did annoy me.. There's something wrong about the sentence in bold, it just doesn't sound quite right.. Then again, I've never been a fan of using the word, 'then'. All three of those sentences could be combined into one, and the sentence in bold has no subject.. That Rinkshak guy is messed up.. You say he gets his 'pleasures' from eating other people's souls?! :ohnoes:

I hate you for calling him lame.

Banned for banning for stupid reasons

Banned because that was the first one I thought of.

Who's to say we'll ever manage to find them before this universe dies..?

Off topic- Gosh, there's so many wannabe Soviets on these forums.. -.- On topic- Not a bad story, however a bit, hmm how shall I say this? Basic.. The whole 'Simple guy goes about his days untill the arrival of a superior force. The death of a loved one by this new enemy causes him to seek revenge, so the gods/god make him their hero and thus, he alone has the power to.. Blahblahblah, you know what I mean..' plot has been used many times before.. Seven kittens out of ten...

The only reading I could get from his father(you are talking about the father, yes?) is that he was a rather grumpy, worried old man who was somewhat concerned about the actions of his children.. However, since Hylean is really too young to start developing his own opinion's on life away from the influence of his parents, we can infer that he and his father probably share the same beliefs, except Hylean obviously would be more reckless....

Ooooh.. very mysterious... I couldn't find any faults with it, although it may be hard for other people(i.e the 12 year old RSOF users) to understand what your talking about, with all your colorful vocabulary..

The colors are a bit.. um random.. Besides that it looks great! 4 bill gates points out of five.

..However, he odds are very slim that we will ever meet them.

Banned because I am a tiger, not a lion.

How do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? -you open the door, put the giraffe in side, and close it. How do you get a elephant in a refrigerator? -you open the door, take the giraffe out, put the elephant inside, and close it. What animal didn't come to Simba's birthday party? -The elephant, because it was still in the refrigerator. How do you get across a river filled with crocodiles? -You just walk across , because all the crocodiles are at Simba's party. *if someone already said these, I'm sorry. I didn't read through all the posts.

Banned because I don't care.

The magic of this world died a loong time ago -.-

3/10..

Banned for using the word, 'banned', in a sentence.

Alas, he is merely a animated drawing, and I erase him.

Banned for copying me.

Banned for not capitalizing things.

I hate you for calling me a 'he'. I also hate you for liking Team Magma(Team Aqua ftw!)

Banned for not knowing that using capitals in the wrong places is improper grammar. (example- you wouldn't say this - I.am.a.idiot., so why should you be able to say this?- i Am a iDiOT?)

I hate you because your avatar is wearing a red raccoon suit. -.-

Banned for using improper grammar.

9/10, it's soooo koote !!<3: