Jopie took the words out of my mouth, almost to the point. I liked the second one more, the one you didn't use, as it conveys and stays true to the base render. The first one is quite pixelly and dark, which makes me dislike it a lot. The border also is quite awkward and bad. Text = no-no. The composition is nice, but the execution is so-so. Suggestions: Remove the text and shift the render a bit to the left to make it coincide with the rule of thirds better and take up more space of the left. That's just me though, I bet Jopie would disagree. :P