muggiwhplar

Duff-- before I go on to explain things, keep in mind that my highest priority in my life is maintaining a high level of long-term, unconditional happiness. Most people are after the same thing as me but they often don't even realize it. A lot of people wish they made more money. Why? Various reasons-- needs, status, security, etc-- but in the end, the underlying reason is all to either become happy or maintain their happiness. Same goes for just about everything else a person in our society wants to do. Some people want to go to the gym and become more fit-- whether to be healthy or to look more attractive to the opposite sex-- in the end they're hoping to become more happy from doing so. Some people just want to have sex w/ no strings attached-- sex makes them happy. Some people want a boyfriend or girlfriend to cling to-- that person makes them happy. It all ends in [conditional] happiness. Honestly, in my experience while single, I found that I was still perfectly content and happier than almost everybody else I knew. This suggests that romantic relationships aren't essential to long-term happiness. There's plenty of other ways achieve happiness than to invest all of your emotional energy into one other person. But I digress... I'll get back to your questions now :P I don't think it is a wise idea to invest a lot into a relationship unless you're involved with multiple relationships at a time. Basically-- don't put all your eggs into one basket. Some people are against the whole "open relationships" thing, yet they're not above flirting with other people all the time w/o actually taking it a step further. They never technically cheat on their partner, but in the back of their mind, they know that they have other options in case things fall apart in their current relationship. This is one fail-safe against despair from a failed relationship. So, the more you invest in one relationship, the more alternative options you should have waiting for you in case your "main" relationship fails. I believe having multiple relationships at a time is the best way to go. Or, at the very least, if you're going to try and have one "main" relationship, you should have a few other options lined up at all times just in case. Being exclusive with a woman goes against your biology as a man. We weren't designed to find one girl and stay with her until we die. Our species would have gone extinct long ago if we had done that from the beginning. There's the leaders who slept with all the women, and then the followers who raised their kids while the leaders kept sleeping with more women. The women would fantasize about the leaders while the followers would bore them to death. These days, most men fit into the "follower" category-- and both the followers and the women they get stuck with become unhappy in the long run. So, the "ideal" for a man is to have a relationship with one or two girls that you care for, while still seeing other girls on the side that don't really mean anything to you. So if things to south with one girl, you have plenty of other options. You didn't put all your eggs into one basket. Some guys are cowards and lie about their intentions/desires to women... It is important that all girls you get involved with understand that you don't want to be exclusive, or that you aren't interested in anything more than sex with them. A LOT of girls are fine with this, despite what society has taught you up to this point. Additionally, girls who are OK with this are as normal as any other girl you'll ever meet, so throw the "s-word" (rhymes with 'glut') out of your vocabulary. Biological programming will always override societal programming. For some reason this surprises a lot of people... probably because men are more "territorial" and jealous than women when it comes to sex. Women are more jealous than men when it comes to attention. Yup-- I don't think exclusive relationships/marriage are a wise idea for anyone in our modern society. It ultimately results in less happiness than remaining single or getting into an open relationship.

I don't think your state of mind is "healthy" enough to make rational decisions that you can commit to for the good of this relationship at this point. Your happiness is dependent on her. This is bad. There was a girl I hung out with for a couple or years or so-- we were close friends, in a strictly platonic way. One day, she told me she had pre-cancer cells in her body and for some reason, the thought of her dying made me develop romantic feelings for her. After this, I told her that I had feelings for her-- and, more importantly-- that I wanted to quit hanging out with her until my irrational emotions had subsided. I refused to hang out with her if I'm not going to be in a happy, rational state of mind like I normally am. I believe the same should go for anyone in a relationship (again, this is why I avoid long-term exclusive relationships). The more you invest into the relationship, the more you lose when things go south (and for 90% of you, things are going to go south after a few years). Relationships can create a euphoric high when things are going well, and give you terrible depressive/withdrawal symptoms when things aren't going well. I think it's better to experience such emotions in moderation, considering negative emotions have triple the influence that positive emotions have on your body/mind. As always, I don't expect anyone to follow my advice... just something to keep in mind in the future. Half of it is understanding it. The other half is doing it. Go cold turkey from her. Go spend time with other more attractive girls. Do some meditation about Ellen and don't resist any negative emotions you feel-- just accept all of it and your body will adapt quicker than if you try resisting it.

Isn't that bug abuse >_>

sucks, but karmas a [bleep] So it's karma that strikes when jagex servers crap out after he has killed players like everyone else? No, he kills people, then he died. Ye its jagexs' fault. Its also ironic, because he just posted a kill. Obviously you guys have no clue what karma is. Karma doesn't necessitate fairness in anyway. Its simply cause and effect. You kill people, you eventually die. It also doesn't necessitate a greater amount of skill on either parties end. In fact, how karma strikes is entirely open ended, fairness isn't an issue. Didn't say I was happy he died, or deserved to die, simply correcting the ill informed on what karma REALLY is. Karma doesn't take effect until a person dies. Then they are "judged" based on their good and bad actions throughout their whole life, and reincarnated based on that.

INTJ

Interesting

I just think men/women who would be genuinely offended by referring to sex as "[bleep]ing" are, for lack of a better word, naive (or ignorant. or immature. those words may work well too.)

The societal programming is strong in this thread

Are you implying that if you "[bleep]" a girl, the girl does not enjoy it? I don't see how you could gather that from what i said . . . Well, what do you think's disrespectful about saying "[bleep]ed?"

Are you implying that if you "[bleep]" a girl, the girl does not enjoy it?

Wouldn't it be 22.5% since 15% times 15% is 22.5%? 1.15*1.15=1.3225

You say "gf" every time you kill someone.. :unsure:

Mage has been #1 in PvP for years now. It won't be #1 in PvM any time soon as long as you're taking cost into account.

You are literally judging a book by its cover. Oh well, it's your loss. I'm not the unhappy one here making excuses for everything-- I'm the one who's significantly happier than most people.

No, you're just being lazy and not looking hard enough. Here you go: http://www.amazon.com/Maximum-Achievement-Strategies-Skills-Succeed/dp/0684803313/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1316209321&sr=8-1

Well as girls get older, their hair gets shorter and their underwear gets bigger. Thus, the high school senior/college freshman wins :P

:thumbup:

Is the new mace two-handed like Ahrim's staff and every other barrows weapon?

Wow it's like the perfect rock lobster barraging gear

So basically -10 magic att for +8 prayer (comparing to Ahrim's)

Of course she's not the only one to blame. I feel sympathy for her in the sense that people are judging her for things that she really shouldn't be judged for in the first place. I don't know anyone personally involved, but it is safe to say that their beliefs and expectations are what's amplifying the drama. Ultimately, however, I don't feel sympathy for her because she is accountable for her own actions. Regardless of if the negative feedback she's getting is justified or not, we both know damn well that she understood how other people would react if they ever found out. But that didn't stop her.

How did she lose friends from this? Why do her parents look at her differently? Were the essay's contents actually true? She lost friends because after the letter her friends found out that she had slept with their boyfriends. Although she is only partly at fault, she still could have said no. She betrayed her friends. Would you still want to call a person like this your friend? Her parents always thought they raised the perfect little girl. If you knew her you would know how good she was at actually hiding her true self from her parents. Her parents were well known within their own community and now had to carry the shame of their daughter. A lot of parents found out about this and a lot of them voiced their opinions about my ex-friend towards her parents. She caused her parents a lot of inconvenience because of her behavior. And sadly the content of the letter was true. At least 90% of it at least. So this is basically her fault that she is upset. She sacrificed long-term well-being for short-term gratification. She was dishonest as well. Though, I personally do not believe women should be condemned in any way for having sex with as many guys as they want (as long as they don't have any STDs, or if they do, they let their partner know in advance). I don't even condemn her for sleeping with her friends' boyfriends, but that is another story. It's her ignorant family and friends which are amplifying the drama in the situation.

How did she lose friends from this? Why do her parents look at her differently? Were the essay's contents actually true?

It's not always that simple. I'll elaborate... If you are bullying someone, you are unhappy about something. Think about all the times you've said something mean to someone, or even just flipped out on someone in the heat of the moment. Or, think of all the times you've said something mean about someone behind their back. You did that because you were unhappy. Something they do or did makes you unhappy, so you try to feel better about yourself by picking on them or talking [cabbage] about them behind their back. If you can understand that, you're already "better" than people who insult you (whether to your face or behind your back) in an irrational manner. If someone tries to insult me about something illogical, it tells me that they're unhappier than I am (at least at that point in time). That alone is enough to not take their argument seriously and walk away. Things are slightly different for me since I'm an adult with all the freedom in the world. If I were still a kid, being expected to go to school every day while living with my parents, things would be more complicated. Regardless, if I were still in middle school, and I was being bullied by a boy, here's what I'd do: 1. Ignore or laugh at any verbal bullying. 2. If he starts to become physical, I'd warn him to stop. 3. If he finally brings it to a physical level, I'd fight him, even if it meant getting my ass kicked. Basically, ignore or reason with him and if that doesn't work, give him a hard time for bullying you. Bullies will stop picking on you if you give them a hard time and if there's plenty of other targets available who will allow themselves to be bullied w/o any resistance. If a girl was bullying me (probably one of the unhappy, yet popular girls) 1. Ignore or laugh at any verbal bullying. Like I said, circumstances are different if you're a kid. But if you're an adult and someone or something is making you unhappy, and you aren't doing anything about it, then that is your fault. Being strong willed is a very important factor in maintaining happiness. Friends aren't necessary (though my friendships are my greatest source of happiness).

Gotta be unhappy with yourself to bully and/or allow yourself to be bullied