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On the premise that Zombies don't break windows.... Generally, in films, Zombies gravitate towards people...and unless you had a cage with people in 'off the other side of the roof' they would, seemingly, head directly for the window. On the premise of needing 'tonnes of force', I would remind you that if the zombies only weighed...70 pounds each, it would only take 32 of them to equal one tonne, and if they weight 100 pounds each it would only take 22 of them. Further they would be pressing towards you, so you would add part of their muscular to the force against you, say...20-30 pounds(Pulling numbers out of the air) which would decrease the number further still... Then consider that they aren't trying to knock it over in one great push, but over the course of several months (lets say) and so, gradually the shed would become weaker. So, if we assume that there are 40-60 zombies around your wood shed, too many for you to SAFELY* dispatch, then they would, over the course of a few weeks, destroy your wood shed, trapping you in the house, which they will erode over time and eventually collapse as well. I would also say that the zombies would probably ignore your wood shed and simply destroy the walls of your house...in precisely the same way as they are always portrayed as doing. So your still, food supply and ect would all be wasted. I would further say that 'Raiding the local McDonalds, Removing your Staircase, Setting up a Distillation machine, Installing Solar Panels and collecting several barrels of water' requires a significantly longer period than you would probably have in a zombie invasion. Initally you would have to become aware of it, which would probably take between an hour and 16 hours, depending on if you were asleep, what the circumstances behind it were, ect ect. On becoming aware of it would take several hours to remove your stairs(Not familiar with your stairs, could take less, but for a job well done it would probably take four hours or so). Supposing you had the distillation machine componants, it would take another several hours to set those up, if you didn't have them, maybe a day of driving around (Again, no idea how close you are to your local DIY/whatever shop to loot). Again with the Solar Panels, if you already had them, then great, a few hours on them. If not then you have to find them and install them, so we are talking about a day, day and a half if you were asleep SO FAR. Raiding McDonalds...depending on how far away it was, density of zombies, how reckless you were feeling...1-5 hours. Thusly, with your house to zombie fortress conversion completed, you would have spent two days...during which time the zombie hoard would have had more than enough time to kill you, and more than enough opportunity. If you were consulting your friends and family for help, good chance they are also zombies, so increased risk there. If you were insanely lucky during the first week, and then were not beset by more than 15 zombies at any given time, I think you could probably survive for a year or too...Before the barrel water had been used up, through a combination of spillage, sweating and urinating while locked in mortal combat. If you happened to not particularly beset by zombies then this wouldn't be much of a problem, of course, because you could fashion buckets and just get more water from nearby, run it through the still to kill any bacteria or whatever and enjoy. Of course, after about a year nature would slowly begin reclaiming your house(I would assume, I don't know what the environment around your house is, but generally speaking grass would begin growing long...and unless you were not beset by zombies, it would be difficult to trim it back constantly. This would be fed by the remains of the many hundreds of zombies you killed, obviously) Ivy would probably be a menace, so would require you to cut, while fighting zombies. If you were only living upstairs then downstairs would probably get infested with various molds and such, who's spores would make you ill. And even if the zombies couldn't reach you that is not to say that rats couldn't, who's population, fed on fields left unharvested by humans, and by the bodies of thousands, would blossem to the point where they would eventually exaust natural food sources and thus begin starving, and thus would come after you at one point or another...what with McDonald's smell eminating from your house. All of this, of course, ignoring that your central heating would be a massive energy drain during the winter months, when your output was lowest (Lots of specifics, may or may not be a problem). Though eventually your boiler (Assuming you have water radiators in Norway and not something else), would break down, or run out of water, requiring you to use space heaters...which cut into your energy budget more dramatically...as well as having to be acquired. Not to mention wear and tear on your clothes, weapons, computer, floors, carpets, windows, ect, ect... Yes...I would say that your life would, if you sat on your laurels, didn't tackle problems before they occured, or were surrounded by zombies, be terminated fairly quickly. If you dealt with problems cooly, efficently and didn't take risks...I can't see why you wouldn't survive a few years perhaps. Though your whole plan hinges on being the only human, which is rather flawed, as I have stated many times before and won't preceed to bore you with. Plan further hinges on the traditional zombie plot, and even further hinges on nothing unexpected happening (Say getting stung in the eye by a wasp). *Or whatever number you would deem yourself incapable of killing, since I know you will claim that you can kill them all with ease.

I agree with Lei. On the other hand: http://www.playalterego.com/

Your point being that given the choice between becoming a leech, and becoming a zombie...you would chose becoming a leech? Hardly a compelling argument. Wouldn't the zombies eventually collapse the woodshed through sheer weight of numbers? ...or, through the many many times you swung yourself up there, you would take a mistep and fall? Or a pile of zombies, bodies or other paraphenalia eventually forming a ramp? Or snow allowing the zombies to gain access. Also, if you were, for instance, walking, and tripped, falling badly, injuring your arm...wouldn't you then be somewhat less capable in the skill of acrobatics, and thus have a hard time climbing up onto your roof?

So...with Mather dead, having been attacked after attempting to climb his stairs, which he had removed... On a more serious note, if someone survived on the premise of slow walking zombies then a lot of people would survive. Ergo, you would either be killed collecting supplies (highly likely) or killed/taken in by other survivours. Would also premise that if you were the ONLY survivour about, then the zombies would congregate, thus disabling you from moving...and would, in all probability, cause your house/tree/whatever to collapse eventually. The real question is why would you want to survive? You live a long, unproductive life, and then you die.

I fail to see how, exactly... We aren't the ones 'informing' the powers that be that we 'give permission' for them to 'do whatever they want with whatever they want.' No, quite the reverse, we sit, quietly, in our little corner, welcoming any who approach, though few do. We make no requests beyond the Tavern, we do not assume to consider ourselves better than any other board, nor do we treat any board with the contempt often showed to us by those such as yourself. If you find it pretenious to be proud of your friends and post mates then please, ardently argue to remove the friend function in our profiles, for that is the ultimate in pretention. If you find it pretenious to have loyalty to a community then please, start a campaign to destroy Tip It itself, for clearly 'Hey, You Tip.iter' is the ultimate in pretention. Is it little wonder that so few join Falador Tavern when the moment they do they are lumbered with the contempt of those such as yourself?

Its called the report button...I would suggest you use it when people are annoying you...worst case scenario the Admin ignore you.

Having a background in both(If that background is somewhat out of date =P), and given that they are both (Potentially) being reordered...Might be an idea to roll them into a single board, with two subforums. We(Tavern) have the 'Backroom', which is purely off topical, and Varrock has the 'Literary Discussions' which would both fit into the main board, which would be for 'General' Literary Discussion.* While Literary Works would fit into the Varrock Sub Forum, and Rolepla-ie games would fit into the Falador Sub Forum. The idea being that roleplaying and critic-ing (and writing) stories are both reasonably intensive, so people forum relations and in-jokes which may spill over into off topic discussion, which disrupts threads. Not only that, but a group (say 10+ people) can seem impenatrable, especially when there are dominate personalities in them. Thus a person may post a story, recieve some constructive advice without feeling like they treading on anyone's toes, and then, if they are comfortable indulge in more off topical discussion within the group...getting to know people and slowly gaining confidence enough to post why they said X, or what they mean in paragraph Y. I mean a post that takes longer than ten minutes to type...you want to know that people are actually going to read it. *Yeah, slightly pre-emptively, you could just go to Off Topic. Valid point...But as Gandorf says there are only a dozen or so posts in Varrock a month, while Falador still manages a far higher amount, which keeps people interested, which keeps up activity, so the board doesn't die, and the regulars drift off (as happened in Varrock a number of times). Thus when a new idea comes along it doesn't land on totally barren ground.

I agree. Maybe a symbolic thread could be started 'RIP ARENAScape Forums', lest we forget. Or, we could create a board for all the old boards(one thread per board), purely symbolic, just for people to post if they feel the need to be nostalgic.

Gotta agree with the admin on this one. Back then(last time this was brought up) keeping all the various parts of Falador had a symbolic reason...it also had one or two practical reasons. Now the symbolic reasons are less important and the practical reasons are less likely. Additionally having two subforums just makes it take longer to load the main page. I would suggest, though, that Falador Tavern's sub name was changed from: "Where roleplayers get together for discussions and adventures!" To "Roleplaying and Analysis, we work hard so we can play hard." Or some variation to clear up the mind numbing debates about what Falador Tavern actually is. If there is not already some sort of mental health/good samaratian board I would also like to request it. Mather's talents as a guidance counciller seem underused and underappreciated in Falador...And Leiana could benfit from having people outside of Falador give her advice on her problems. Would also suggest that public discussions directly involving someone talking about their specific problem, with no real relation to roleplaying, should have their discussions moved to said forum, since it is currently having a more than detrimental effect on everyone else in the Tavern. [hide] You know I really don't. The only reasons I'm still alive are guilt and stubbornness. [/hide]

I don't know, you did excellent work on those vines. :thumbsup:

Blur snake? Sorry, but the distinct bands make it look like it was painted in four strokes with a brush with a dab of black on. I would imagine it needs some spaces between the rings, since the black of the night sort of fades into the snake making it look like a contagious lump. Other than that it is not half bad, though the forest floor....Could do with a different shade of brown, maybe some tufts of grass, or dead leaves? At present it fades into the background trees.

What I imagined: [hide] [/hide] I rest my case.

There is defintional confusion there. Maybe you didn't so much 'Cure' as 'Supress the symptoms without treating the underlying problem, allowing it to fester without treatment.'

I think Iey tried the less than blunt approach many times before....

Tales for the Forest~ After fleeing the City with the unconscience Wizard over their shoulder, Loran and Caliber talked about their options, having recieved a mysterious tip off, from a source beyond reproach, that Kalan, Urist and Gunnari had been arrested. Eventually it was decided that Caliber would acquire a cart, some cloth and hay, while Loran watched over the unconscience Wizard, for they planned to smuggle the Wizard back into the city when they had finished. After about two hours the equipment was ready and the Wizard began to stir. At the beginning he was not co-operative, but between the two of them Loran and Caliber managed to pursuade him to start talking...Unfortunately he didn't know anything of any value, though admitted to having taken 1,000 Gold Pieces per person, and being paid off by the very same thugs that had attacked them at the stall. The only clues were that they took their victims to the East, away from Augustus' stall. Thusly, while Caliber had Augustus distracted, Loran snuck up behind him and beat him senseless with a Masterwork Sap, which Caliber hadn't seen before. When he questions Loran, Loran said it was part of his new disguise [hide] [/hide] Caliber looked confused for a second before shaking his head, donning his disguise and putting the unconscience Wizard onto the cart and covering him in hay, before joining the queue of people entering the city. Once inside Loran brought several bottles of ale and, in a quiet corner, spread them liberally over Augustus, before dressing Augustus in a disguise and booking him into a local Inn to 'sleep it off'. Augustus was taken up to his room and bound and gagged, then was locked in a wardrobe, which itself was lain face down on the floor. With Augustus successfully hidden and disabled for the forseeable future, Loran and Caliber left the room and gave strict instructions not to disturb their 'friend' until the following morning, at the earliest. They then ventured out to see what had stripped many of the streets of patrons, journeying, through the throngs of people, to the Central Pavilon. Or something like that.

Really, what you need to do is watch day time TV for exactly one hour a day, per day of your problems. As we all know a problem ignored has a tendancy to multiple. We also know that day time TV has a value of -1 in terms of entertainment value. Thusly: Problems become imaginary and solutions become real. And that is why Maths isn't applicable to real life problems :thumbsup: . On a serious note don't watch day time TV, it actually does have an entertainment value of -1...education value of -1 as well.

This would probably be a good idea... Usually, if you only discovered something in the last week/month/year, then you should probably explain it for other people...Or not make references to it.

Well, that is 7 things: Devotion to love - Not a bad thing on its own. Failure to achieve goals - Mildly bad in itself, combined with the Devotion aspect, becomes worse. Own Fault - Not a massive thing, but combined with the previous two... No Control - Again, not a massive thing, but combined with the first two. Personality Void - Failed in your goals, thus you have nothing to aspire to. Resentment - You feel you are entitled to all the things above Failure to achieve goals 2 - You have failed to achieve, despite advantages in your favour, thus resent yourself and/or others. You are, effectively, in a hole and rather than dealing with it in any way, you are saying you aren't in a hole and it is simply dark and wet. I would also say that, since you have, at one time or another, annoyed everyone in the Tavern to some degree, you also are in denial about having hit the 'Jackpot'...That or you need to find someone more like you (Since those are qualities that you find attractive, or percieve to be attractive), since the qualities you have are not massively attractive. (At least to me. Someone who is intelligent or physically buff, or both, doesn't mean anything to me...Intelligent people (such as myself) tend to be insufferable and physical buff people tend to be self-obsessed...And the thing I care about is how insufferably or self-obsessed they are, not how intelligent or strong they are.) Or, at the very least, you aren't using those qualities effectively. In addition to Ico: I, unlike Nex and the other people who generally respond to the Emotional Stuff, am not overly concerned with 'fixing' you. You will either live, change, die incidently or commit suicide. All of which is almost totally irrelevant to me unless you happen to turn gay, develop a long term attraction to me, fix all the things that I find unattractive about you and move to within five miles of me. Will I be upset if you stop posting(Due to death, though if you did kill yourself we wouldn't know unless you went out of your way to do it)...No. I wasn't upset when Doom, Rocco, Ross, RPG, Sere, Paul or any of the others stopped posting. I may have been slightly affected by it, and there were certainly times I was annoyed that they had left. I don't overly care if you want to get emotional support, or post that you are depressed and all that stuff in the backroom...its mildly annoying to me(and others) but the backroom and forum as a whole isn't about what I or anyone else gets annoyed over.

We should change the tag of The Backroom to Emotional Support Helpline. Although: Doesn't really help matters. Telling a suicidal person that you don't understand why they want to kill themselves is like telling a (female) feminist that you don't understand why she doesn't make you a sandwich. Suicidal thoughts tend to be the result of lots of individual thoughts, which, on their own don't amount to anything much, but together they can make life seem pointless and unneccessary. Alternatively they can make it seem that there will be a period of suffering which cannot be resolved, or has not been resolved for a long time and thus is unlikely to be resolved in the near future, and thus suicide offers a way to avoid that suffering. Also situations in which you don't have any real control over things, or you think you don't in any event. [hide] For example: Most of us would probably consider suicide as preferable if we were kidnapped by Dr Mengele, kept in a camp, watched our fellow inmates getting sewn together, then killed when the experiment was completed. Simple reason is that you have a choice between dying painfully or dying quickly. (Also issues of control, but that is largely beside the point) When people get emotional they tend to block out the intervening years and simple see themselves dying of old age, 40-80 years from now, still feeling gut wrenchingly terrible. [/hide] At any rate: It is sometimes better to sympathise instead of trying to understand. ~ Pierre Lecompte de Nouy On an unrelated note I have finally figured out most of how the internet works now. Between the hours of 8 am (may be subject to revision) and 11 pm, I have between 5 and 100 kbps...usually tending towards 15. Between the hours of 11 pm and 8 am(again, may be subject to revision) I have between 4 and 8 Mbps...usually tending towards 5. I would assume it was the local internet exchange giving preferential service to the University, or it could be a deal struck with the service provider by the landlord. Will probably find out on the third.

How much will it cost to hire a: Minstral Man/woman who will learn to play an instrument Skilled Artistan Cartographer ? Reference: http://www.d20pfsrd.com/equipment---final/goods-and-services#TOC-Hireling-Trained

D'awww. It's pretty cute, Lei. :P My sentiments exactly. And lately, I've been drawing yet another different storyline/world. And some of the stuff in it terrifies me to no end. As above

On an unrelated note:

Why take them to the vet? Surely you could just send it out to scavange for kittens, new cat every few weeks. Or, get a female cat. It has kittens after a few years. Stop feeding the old cat, move on to the kittens...and if they are female you never have to buy a new cat again. :rolleyes: More significantly cats are scavangers, so if you aren't feeding them they will go looking for food elsewhere, for example, someonelse's house. Then you need to hire a lawyer to get the cat back, which costs far more than the food to feed the cat. So ultimately your plan to save money wouldn't work...

British people have a harder time getting offended, Grim, stiff upper lip and 'Musten't grumble'. So our papers need to be far more hatefilled to get the same responce. Though the responce lasts serveral days longer.

People who complain about how much cats cost do not know the comedic value of a cat. For instance, if your cat likes to jump up onto things, stack some books (2-3) there. When the cat jumps off, the books overbalance and it does a backflip, and pulls the 'innocent' face. Easily worth the money for catfood. (Didn't actually plan it, she just jumped up onto some books and managed, somehow, to get her leg through a collar so looked like 'limping innocent' cat)