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hiimben

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About hiimben

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    Sydney, Australia

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  1. If theres a way to do it, people will do it. I know because I totally blitzed up before, just saying.
  2. Can't say I've seen the whole episode, 'Pee', but the preview clip on the southparkstudios site absolutely blew me away. Golden song right there. [hide]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CpsqPdZAJfk[/hide]
  3. As I read previously today, "Criticise them not for being offensive. Criticise them for being unfunny. There's a difference." Admittedly I didn't watch the piece in context, and from what i've gathered it was just a celebration of the show. The use of blackface was just to emulate the Jackson 5, which would have been abysmally pathetic without the use of blackface. The blackface in this context has no derogatory meaning, and I see it as merely a visual device to aid their performance.
  4. I can appreciate the zero dollar budget thing all too well. Just keep in mind, Kevin Smith made a cult hit with a budget of 27grand. Now you don't need THAT much, just a camera and some video editting software. As for people being interested in your work, I think people typically are interested in what their peers do. I can't speak for your area, as I live in semi-rural Australia which differs vastly to most places. But I think the mere fact that you're out there doing something, especially something which sounds as cool as making movies, people will be interested to try it out. Whether or not your film appeals to them depends entirely on the content and the audience. I feel your story, considering it's topical to your audience, could gain a positive reaction from your audience. As for the emotional quality of your screenplays, it's pretty well a fact that plays require emotion and capturing it well can be extremely difficult. I think your best bet is just to try out different things, pitch them to people, exactly what you're doing now, and take in their feedback. I think simply picking a few key emotions which are deep emotions could help you. The main emotion in this play is confusion, which is a fairly base emotion, I would just try and come up with a list of strong emotions, especially if they are relevant to you, and then try to justify their place in your story, and work around that. As cliche as it is, practise can only improve your work. As for humour, I had trouble defining my sense of humour a short while ago. My advice would be to write down what you find funny and then try to define it. For example, I love shows like "The Chasers War on Everything", "Ali G (and other Baron Cohen Creations)" which indicates I like the natural reactions of people to absurd situations. If you do that for shows you like, and subconsciously think about it often, you should soon be able to deconstruct the comedy around you and define what you like.
  5. I found that it felt rather short, and the dialogue and actions didn't seem to fill out the time. Cut out the stage directions/lighting cues, you're left with 2 pages of fairly weak dialogue. I think the main problem is you haven't developed the situation enough. In a nutshell, the action points of the story are :- 1) Guy goes to school. 2) Friends acting responsible, teachers acting irresponsible. 3) Guy just rolls with it. Which isn't very compelling. One of the main reasons for story writing is to have a point, which this story lacks, and I truly feel it comes down to it being incomplete. Characters need to be developed more, which could be achieved on film via a montage or short intro sequence, which I would detail in the opening paragraph of your screenplay. We need to care about what happens to the characters. At the moment there doesn't seem to be any depth in character,the whole play is very low key, the strongest emotion the main character feels is confusion. The story could easily gain an emotional depth by introducing notions of betrayal, desperation and isolation. I personally would explore the struggle the guy has in accepting this new society. Not sure if you're aware of it, but I studied it in English class and it helped me analyse comedy a bit. Northrop Frye's approach to the structure of comedies states that comedy arises from the progression of one society to the next, which can be applied to your text. The old society being the typical society of the modern day era, and a forced new society in which roles are reversed, another common comedic technique. If you were aiming for a comedy, I would suggest his attempts at adopting the new society could incorporate over the top, bad attempts at mimicking the behaviour. Awkwardness and surrealism could stem off that fairly easily, and without going into too much depth as it would not be your creation, could create highly comedic moments with density and relevance. If you were aiming for a drama, you would focus on his emotional struggle and his reluctance to embrace the society. For a hard hitting emotional ending, you could show him conforming to the society, leaving the audience to insinuate he is still unhappy with the situation. I don't want to tell you to do this, or do that idea as it would burden your creative license, but I would insist you add some emotional depth to the story, as that is in essence why people watch or do anything, to get some sort of emotion out of it, be it joy, sadness, inspiration, whatever. And I don't mean to shoot down your idea like that. I know it can be discouraging for anyone to receive heavy loads of criticism, and as an aspirational writer I would hate to be knocked off my pedestal. But I feel that I would appreciate a checklist to incorporate into my own work to improve my writing, as opposed to light hearted dancing around the issue. Also, my vision of your story is more than likely far different than yours so feel free to discuss it with me, or if you want to talk to me about writing, or film making or anything like that, as it's one of my passions too.
  6. None of these posts are trolling. Trolling means someone presenting an incorrect statement as fact in order to gain a response from the victim. Nobodies pretending it sucks for kicks, it just does. Read more tutorials as I have limited knowledge of rendering.
  7. Whenever he lets out a word, it's usually and immediately followed by a flurry of [bleep]. :thumbup: Good movie. I honestly can't think of why Burn After Reading is a good movie, despite everyone I know saying it is. Anyone care to explain it to me? On topic, Last movie I saw was The Boat that Rocked. An enjoyable movie which would have been improved had they not focused on the sex as much. But for what I expected I was pleasantly suprised.
  8. You probably didn't know this, but a large number of people here in The Gallery haven't played runescape in years, or hate it :P I think you need to first find a better sense of direction in your comics - for the first few I had to read the comic multiple times to figure out what was really happening. I shouldn't have to do that. As long as you post in a Runescape based forum, people will talk about runescape. Get over yourself. From what I remember of the comics, they have a charm that appeals to current players, and the new artistic direction you took in the comic from your last thread was a major setback. I felt it was going for too much detail where simplicity was the ideal setting for it. Edit: On second looks, it was far less over the top than I had thought. It looks fine, but I don't think I'd be up to scratch on the content as I'm a cynical [puncture].
  9. I was always a fan of Big Daddy, although Billy Madison/Happy Gilmore are up there.
  10. The most feasible project would be something that goes. Realistically, the epitome of what the average person could do would be a go-kart or similiar small car contraptions. That's what you should be aiming for, especially initially.
  11. The dithering on the stem of the apple in the latest one is a bit iffy, but the rest of the works are great as usual. Don't really have much else to comment on them, but great work either way.
  12. hiimben

    Brüno ist...

    It was phosphorus. I liked the movie, however a few points could have been worked on. It's been said but Bruno wasn't as likeable a character as Borat, and there really needs to be more of a reason for us to approve of his shenanigans. And, as has been said on some of the other reviews i've read, some scenes could have been developed more. For example, I would have liked to have seen a bit of clever dialogue in the Ron Paul scene, but it seemed a bit rushed. Eitherway, whether it was because I was in a good mood when I saw it or not, I feel the film isn't a Disappointment, and personally think its on par with Borat.
  13. hiimben

    I liek pie.

    Better job at defining the characters, the focused Knight in particular is pretty good. However, I feel that they are kind of washed out by the background. I think some more experimentation with colours could work out, and really distinguish the characters from the background. But you are improving, which is good to see.
  14. So instead of your "2 year" effort, you would rather it have absolutely no exposure as opposed to atleast a little. Unless you find a better site to upload it to, then I think that even if a few people play it, you will be MORE recognized in the online community than if you just threw it away.
  15. Wouldn't mind signing up for the beta if you're still doing that. Looks like you've put a lot of effort into it and I'd like to see how it all works together. If you don't mind me asking, what program are you making it with?
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