The Dark Lord

I really liked Neon Genesis Evangelion. Rei FTW Trinity Blood looks like it might be good. Then again, I've watched a few episodes of it on Adult Swim with my TV on mute, so...

OH MY GOD! I love that anime! *points to sig* I can't wait until Rebuild of Evangelion comes out to the U.S. On-topic: If solopsism is true, none of you exist. That would mean that I could manipulate the perception, correct? So I'm going to test this. I just caused everyone to die and the souls of everyone just formed a new entity. The world is now black and has a reddish hue. In 1000 years, the world, the sun, the moon, the solar system, the galaxy, and the entire Universe will fade away. Time will restart. Oops. I guess it didn't work.

I know it sounds silly, but it had to take something like this in order to make me happy and keep me in my right mind. Now, I am happy again. In fact, I read the comments on this topic every day before going to school so I can stay encouraged.

Hopefully you are on friendly terms with your sister. That really sucks. I'm trying to grow my curly hair down to my shoulders or maybe a little below my shoulders. I'm still experimenting with my hair. I suppose I won't have to get another haircut for a year or so.

That would destroy who I am. Hiding who I truely am won't fix the problem. I wear what I wear as a way of expressing my identity to others, plus I just like the look. It looks good on me.

I probably wouldn't be offended anyway. It just depends on my friend's tone. I would most likely blush, smile, or giggle and say "No, I'm just feminine."

Yes, I would rather be who I am, feminine. I also live in the Deep South. There is very little tolerance here. [hickish accent]Hai Jed, iz dat one of 'em queer folk over der? Le'z get some pitchforks and torches and straighten 'im out![/hickish accent] Yes, I do accept myself. However, I care too much about what others think of me. When some people give me a weird glance or ridicule me, it makes me feel unwanted and they wouldn't care if I die. Fortunately, I have tolerant friends. One friend is a strong Liberal and supports gay rights, etc. He is very tolerant, so I don't see why he wouldn't be tolerant toward an effeminate male. I absolutely LOVE tight jeans! I don't wear girls' pants though. It's hard enough slipping by with a few pairs of tight jeans from Aeropostale because my dad calls form-fitting clothes "something a San Franciscan queer would wear." Yes, my father is a bigot. That's why I never will tell them that I'm effeminate. They see my feminine behavior, but they ignore it because they want me to be something else. Anyway, I like the tightness from the jeans. I like how it is tight in the [wagon], hips, and crotch. I have slightly bigger hips than most guys and I have a healthy BMI. Thanks. Yes, it is very hard to get used to having a masculine body when I have fully given in to my behavior. This would possibly be the first time in years. I remember playing dress-up, picking flowers, and playing with a few female toys when I was little. lol. :XD: Really? -------- Thanks for the comments, guys. Normally, I would just try to see a counselor about something like this, but that would involve telling my parents that I'm effeminate. They don't want to have to look at me as a feminine person because they want me to be someone else. They just won't admit it. My only two options would be A) to talk to some friends about it OR B) to post about it on a forum site in which no one knows me personally and I have a kind of "barrier" between me and the people I'm talking to. Thus, it's easier for me to tell everything that I need to tell.

School has started about 2 weeks ago. Since then, I've had a tight schedule and it's hard to do anything enjoyable and still get my homework done, keep my room tidy, bathe myself, and all of the other essentials. In the end, I always sacrifice my free-time. I go to bed as early as possible (11PM) and wake up at 6:30AM. I face school and another repeated routine. On top of that, I'm also a feminized guy. Effeminate males obviously have feminine minds or they wouldn't be considered effeminate. My behavior is like that of a female. Even though I'm not gay, I still get made fun of. People at my local church (My father forces me to go.) even act strangely around me and treat me like I freak them out or something. People try to suggest that I do things that a very masculine person would do, to the point that I feel uncomfortable around them. I feel like they're trying to make me do something unnatural and stupid. I'm a sophomore in high school and some people ridicule me. "Why do you sit like a girl? Are you gay?!?! Ha! John carries his books across his chest ~ LIKE A GIRL!" It makes me feel bad about myself. For some reason, my mind seems to think that I look different from what I actually look like. I feel feminine. I hate my body hair, but I can't shave it all off because it is "socially-unacceptable." It's not like I'm weird or anything? I'm a shy, quiet kid. A friend told me I wasn't super-feminine. Hell, I can't even control the fact that I'm feminine and always will be. If I just pretended to be a masculinized guy, I would feel like I'm doing something unnatural and stupid. (I've already tried before.) Am I disgusting? Am I a freak? Do I deserve to continue to exist? How come I couldn't have a natural masculine mind? How come if I had to have a feminine mind, I couldn't just have the body as well? I find it hard to fit in with more masculine crowds. It's horrible. Often I get extremely depressed and pessimistic. What can I do to make myself feel better? How can I make myself cope with my predicament and get over it? How can I fit in without making myself feel like I'm doing something unnatural? How can I enjoy life?

[/hide] Mod Edit : Drug reference picture removed not allowable on these forums. Q.V. Tip It Mod Sounds more like Venomai. lol.

You can sleep that long?!?! Wow...

I guess we're figments of your imagination then. You created Eminem's new song with your mind. Therefore, you have control over reality.

You'd have to say? Make up your own mind about it. Christiansectuality is not a choice. He was born Christian and cannot alter his religious orientation. Let's get back to the topic: "Christiansectuality, right or wrong?" Itz ded rong! It gross an unaturual! Of course this is a joke.

Once i dreamed of a song by Lagwagon, called "unborn". I was listening to this song in my dream. It sounded like Lagwagon. I even can recall some words of the lyrics. Thing is: The song doesn't exist. My mind created a song called "December Rain" once.

I haven't bothered to use a brush yet. When it's dry, the brush just makes it frizzy. In fact I'm not sure if I'll ever use that brush that I bought. (Unless I do get it straightened or whatever.) Another issue would be which color I should dye my hair. I'll probably just stick with an ash blonde because it looks pretty. My eyebrows are brown though. I'm not sure if I'll dye them. A girl friend of mine told me that I should. Oh and XvilleXvaloX, I like your hair. I think I'll try to do what you told me I should do and let it grow out that long. If it doesn't work for me, then I'll use a straightener or just reshape my hair.

Oh, cool. I'll have to look into that. I'm afraid to use a flatiron because I'll probably end up burning myself because my hair is this long: (--------------------------------) It might be slightly longer, but that gives a general idea. I'm afraid of using hair spray because I've heard that it can make your hair dull over time. Gels make my hair feel like concrete.

Well, about how long does my hair have to grow in order to start pulling itself down? Right now it's at a point to where it moves a little, but if I mess up in the morning when drying my hair, it will 'poof' too much. It would look like I have an afro. I do this in the morning: -Wet it in the sink with cool water. -Apply some shampoo to my hair. -Rinse. -Apply vitamin conditioner to my hair. -Rinse. -Use a towel to dry my hair enough to where it won't drip. -Use the dryer (on high) and make rapid side-to-side motions across my hair (flicking my wrist). -Let it air dry. -Use fingers to fluff up my hair and get it even. I also like to play with my hair a lot. I'll gently tug at my hair or twirl my hair. It gets messed up a little when I do that and it's hard to fix my hair without washing it again. When I sleep, it gets completely messed up. I believe straighter hair might be easier to manage. My hair is straight if I cut it to about 1 inch, but I don't look good in short hair.

You don't think it would look like a 'fro, do you? That's what I'm afraid of. :uhh:

Okay my hair is 4+ inches long and it is naturally curly. It's starting to get so long that I don't believe that it will look good curly. I have dyed my hair ash blonde two weeks ago and it already has grown 1/2 of an inch. How can I straighten my hair without damaging it or making it look ugly? I can't use the blowdryer in order to straighten it because it'll just make my hair friz and 'poof out' more. Do you guys have any ideas?

I get asked that way too much. :) Let's start a club.

I used to wonder about this when I was very little. Even if reality is just created by our minds, how does that make this not real? After all, the world in my dreams are "real." I have all five senses in my dreams. The people in my dreams look real. They feel real. But then again, they are the creation of my mind. That doesn't make them fake to me. Let's say that I went into a comatose state and my mind could only dream. Let's say that it created a Second Life. I may never know that I'm in a hospital bed and suffering from a coma. In my world, I wake up one morning. My room is different. It is elaborately decorated and very beautiful. The warm rays of the sun are shining through a large glass window near my bed. I get dressed, wash my hair, and do the rest of my morning routine and then walk outside. The sky is a beautiful shade of blue and there is not a single cloud. The sun's rays are relaxing my skin. I look at myself and notice that my body is beautiful and perfect. This is an interesting question. How do we know for sure that we aren't really in a hospital bed somewhere and we are suffering from comatose? How do we know that we won't wake up one day in a hospital bed and be surrounded by warm, friendly faces and the people say to us "Welcome home. It's been 20 years."? But I guess it doesn't matter. Even if we were in a permanent comatose state and this was all an elaborate dream, it wouldn't matter. We would never wake up from it anyway. We might as well stop worrying about it and live this life the best we can and see what happens after death.

I used to be bullied a lot when I was younger. I am the quiet, sensitive, feminine-type boy. I would be ridiculed a lot. People would make fun of my clothes, my behavior, etc. It's nothing short of psychological torture. I would be physically tormented, ignored like I didn't exist, stereotyped. I can remember in the 5th grade when I was playing during recess on the merry-go-round. I had a few friends with me, and we were spinning it around and getting on it and were having fun. Then, a crowd of kids come toward us and say "Hey, want us to spin you guys around?" and we were like "Okay." They start to spin us around, but kept going faster and faster. My friends managed to get off because it was starting to go too fast, but I was unable to. I was nearly hurled off of the merry-go-round. Of course, I went to a teacher about it. There were many other incidents. My parents would move me across the country a lot and I would lose the friends that I met previously. I grew up without the kind of friends that you could hang out with at any time. I didn't get very much social interaction and affection from others. I would also try to imitate other guys and become "more like them," or masculine. This didn't work out well because I came across as even weirder. It also felt wrong and I was confused because I didn't know why I was different. (Until I read some articles regarding "brain gender" on the internet and confirmed my suspicions that I thought more like a girl and behaved feminine.) I eventually developed a severe social phobia. I would be afraid to hug people, talk to people, etc. I finally broke the phobia during my Freshman year. Now, I am a Sophomore in high school. I am more talkative and am no longer afraid to express my true personal identity. People know that I am effeminate, and some have even asked me if I was gay. I'm heterosexual though. I even walk from class to class with my books held across my chest and prop my left leg over my right leg feminine-style. lol. I don't care. I have a tremendously happier school life and lots of popular friends. So yes, bullies suck.

Have you watched the movie Vanilla Sky? In the end of it, the main character commits suicide and his body is put into a cryogenic machine and his mind is cleared of memories of suicide and he wakes up from a previous location. (He got depressed and went to a street corner and had a breakdown. They alter his memories to where he went to sleep on the corner and woke up on a bright, sunny day and he was helped up by the woman that he loved.) Well anyway he lives a perfect second life within the dream. It was a very powerful movie.

-White aura with a slight mist around everything -Everyone would have pale skin, snowy white hair, pale blue/green eyes, slender, flexible bodies; long hair; and soft facial features -Everyone would be intelligent, innocent, and care-free. -Souls would be pure. There would be no bad human characteristics. --Unlimited love and affection -Anythng that you want. (robes, etc.) -Crystal cities with silver gates -Instead of the sun, you can see the Old Earth with the Old Moon orbiting it. (Let's say an Apocalyptic event happened and everyone died. The Earth would look very different that it does now. It might look grey and white because of a Nuclear Winter. This would remind us of the Old Era.) -Instead of the moon, we would see a new, perfected Earth and Moon. -Also reality of heaven would be in our minds. This could personalize heaven to how we think of it. In Reality, our souls would have formed one entity after the End. Well that's my view.

They're making the sophomore girls slide through pig intestines and rotten fish for initiation. Some guy asked me if I wanted to get initiated, and I was like "Nah..." and he was like "*shrugs* Okay then." Yes, the freshmen do not go to the high school. They are still at the junior high, yet they earn high school credits. I don't get it either.