I can't see the pictures! A fight and a half with "Image not found", oh my Lord please save me! *BAMBAMBAM*

 

Bypassing weirdos: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock:

I have the Image not founds too!

 

 

 

And yeah the bypassers are more like...

 

 

 

:shock: :roll: :anxious: :roll: :anxious: :shock: :o :o

Putting up new heading for the Snake and Noob thing.

THE BLUE JAY FILES

 

(law enforcements finest. LIKE HELL. OWWW!

 

 

 

Welcome people to a fantastic episode. Yes a great one. Today we will encounter ancient enemies and learn more about the Noob police.

 

 

 

So let us begin!

 

 

 

THE BLUE JAY FILES

 

(Apply only when needed.)

 

 

 

So Blue Jay, what kind of education do you need to become a Noob policeman?

 

 

 

Oh, it depends.

 

 

 

On what?

 

 

 

If you passed college you are our intern,lawyer,computer geek. If not you are a policeman like us.

 

 

 

And what job will you be tackling today?

 

 

 

Well, rumors have spread that the 6:02 news is back and, well, that may be a sign of the apocalypse.

 

 

 

Well, lets see that report they have then.

 

 

 

O.K

 

 

 

Welcome to the 6:02 news. A breaking news report. Nooby is now on a rampage here in Al Kharid. He is scaring the living bejesus out of people by acting like he does not know what things are.

 

 

 

Oh my god...a gate to hell! Seal it!

 

 

 

Thats a furnace.

 

 

 

You people and your fancy names...what is this contraption?

 

 

 

Uh...my script.

 

 

 

Amazing, such a technological breakthrough. I would pay so much to have a "Script."

 

 

 

It is just a piece of paper!

 

 

 

PAPER SCRIPTS! Why must young people be so cruel.

 

 

 

What did I say?

 

 

 

And what is this?

 

 

 

Sand.

 

 

 

Liter? Kitty litter? What brand.

 

 

 

The kind that comes in from the sea.

 

 

 

What did you say you just saw? Oh my god! What are these.

 

 

 

Gems.

 

 

 

What kind?

 

 

 

The kind I am gonna shove up your [wagon] if you don't shut up!

 

 

 

What is an [wagon]?

 

 

 

It seems our camera man is beating Nooby up. Hell of a right hook from our camera man. It seems to me that Nooby is dead. Oh crap...who knows what he might be causing in Lumbridge! Run Run Run!

 

 

 

As you can see, the apocalypse is beginning.

 

 

 

SHHH!!! Its back on!

 

 

 

It seems to me that Nooby is in the general store!

 

 

 

Who invented this pot?

 

 

 

Uhh...I don't know.

 

 

 

So your saying it was an ancient Chinese secret?

 

 

 

What? Who the hell are the Chinese?

 

 

 

You never heard of the land of dragons and Kung-Fu?

 

 

 

What the hell are you talking about? Get out of here...NOW!

 

 

 

I guess we should get there before it gets to bad.

 

 

 

Oh...can i just sit here maybe?

 

 

 

Come on...you can drag yourself with me.

 

 

 

But if we stay here we could start watching the big Gnomeball game.

 

 

 

Tape it!

 

 

 

Tape a gnomeball game?

 

 

 

Sure.

 

 

 

Whats the point, everyone will talk about it before we get to see it.

 

 

 

Then don't tape it, I don't care just hurry up before Giant Blue Jay drags you along by force.

 

 

 

Coming...just taping the game...

 

 

 

THE END OF ONE PART THE BEGINNING OF ANOTHER!

 

 

 

Tune in for the epic conclusion of the Nooby storyline!

And now for a Murder Mystery...In THE BLUEJAY FILES

 

 

 

 

 

BlueJay in his stunningly uncordinated and obvouisly straight clothes, that simply reak 'anti-fasion', walks into the dinning room.

 

 

 

BlueJay: Now, I know that the person who committed the crime is in this room. In fact I know who it is....But I thought it would be rather fun to try to let you work it out.

 

Butler: Do we have to?

 

BlueJay: Yes.

 

Maid: Fine, Well I think it was the Butler because its always the butler.

 

Butler: Well I think it was the gardener...Everyone knows he loved her!

 

Garderner: You !@$@#^ I think it was the cook, because he had the oppotunity.

 

Cook: Well stuff you then, I think it was the gardener, how do you like that you @#$@#$.

 

Garderner: I am going to kill you!!

 

Cook: Like to see you try you pansy!

 

Husband: Can't we all just get along?

 

All: It was him!!!

 

Husband: NO! I loved my wife, why would I kill her? A funeral would be so expensive!

 

Book Keeper: He has a point you know.

 

Butler: What! You know know I think about it some more I think it was the Book Keeper...She wasn't one for reading.

 

Book Keeper: SO YOU THINK I KILLED HER BECAUSE SHE DIDN'T READ!!?!?!!

 

Maid: It stands to reason...

 

Gardener: I demand more evidence!

 

BlueJay: ZZZZ What oh right yes...Ummm well we can see that she was hit over the head by a blunt object.

 

Husband: Thats all the proof I need. It was the Book Keeper!

 

Book Keeper: WHAT! How do you work that out! It could have been anything!

 

Maid: Yeah...The butler has a heavy silver tray...

 

Butler: I think we all have something heavy you twit...

 

BlueJay: It doesn't matter anyway because it was...

 

 

 

Can you guess who?

OHMYGOSH! It was Blue Jay! Ain't it obvious?

Im coming for you next Powerent... :shock: :shock: :shock:

Company football match tonight (yes you read right). I am not gonna write so, uh, wish me luck. Thankfully I am on the bosses team. If I were on the other team he would probably fire me for tackling him or something. :pray: Thank you lord!

Company football match tonight (yes you read right). I am not gonna write so, uh, wish me luck. Thankfully I am on the bosses team. If I were on the other team he would probably fire me for tackling him or something. :pray: Thank you lord!

 

LOL. But if you make a few bad plays, you might get demoted or even fired, ooooh. :shock: Tell me tomorrow which team won. And Blue Jay, blame Archimage for being so evil. It could be Archimage itself, though...

BlueJay in his stunningly uncordinated and obvouisly straight clothes

:shock:

 

 

 

I seriously laughed my #@!# off at this...

 

 

 

So who's writing this story anyway... Archimage or Ratchet?

Its Ratchets story, but because he and I are not always on, we have lives and events that mean we can't write for a while, we take over from each other from time to time.

 

 

 

Ah ha...So the finger instead points back at Powerent...I said it could be anyone in this room(thread)...

 

 

 

Anyway hope you win and hope you do something really good...like *gets american footbal handbook* Score. A. Touch. Down. Hmmmm that seems right. Well thats that really.

 

 

 

And the murder was....

 

GRAVITY!!!!

 

A freak accident which involved everyone in this room standing exactly where they were created a gravity well that suck the vase off the shelf and into the back of her head.

 

BlueJay:Anti-Noobing Stick to the ready!!! :twisted:

 

All:Run AWAY!!!!!!!

 

Camaraman: Ummm Boss...Boss...Boss I am going to have to stop you!

 

*Thump*

 

My team won. Our boss sucks at football... we let him play quarter back for one of our plays. How the hell do you get sacked 21 yards away? Dont ask me. Anyway, it was a terrible game. 0 to 0 for a long time, then they finally put me as quarterback and look at that. I threw a 30 yard pass for a touchdown. That game:

 

 

 

13 to 0 :notalk:

 

 

 

Anyway enough about my life, lets continue with a look at blue jays personal life after his day job at the noob police.

 

 

 

THE BLUE JAY FILES SPECIAL

 

(Now with extra mayonnaise)

 

 

 

Well, we are going to show the end of Nooby later but right now we get to go home with Blue Jay and see what his life at home is like. He has a beautiful trailor home. It seems to be next to someones house.

 

 

 

Blue jay you bastard, let me live in their with you. There is no plumbing in here. When I use the faucet, my crap from the toilet spews out.

 

 

 

Sorry mum. You treated me bad as a child and now that you are old and feeble you are now the one treated bad.

 

 

 

You should be ashamed of yourself, go to your room young man.

 

 

 

Young man? Mom, I am 16!

 

 

 

WHAT? You were only 16 this whole time? How did you get the noob police gig then?

 

 

 

Uh, got all the policemen drunk and applied then. I love to defeat noobs. On my resume I am 21.

 

 

 

NAUGHTY NAUGHTY BLUE JAY!

 

 

 

Giant Blue Jay, throw her in a lake!

 

 

 

Your own mother? You sick bastard. I swear I will haunt you for the rest of your life.

 

 

 

How did they accept that beast into the noob police?

 

 

 

I gave them a picture of an apache helicopter and they accepted it.

 

 

 

What the hell is an Apache?

 

 

 

I don't know, I got a picture of it when a virus leaked out and something called "google" popped up.

 

 

 

I like that name. Is it a por...

 

 

 

No, nothing of that sort...here is that picture, if you will follow me down here please.

 

 

 

You live in the basement -.-

 

 

 

Giant Blue Jays got to live somewhere you know!

 

 

 

O.K, put him in a cage in the backyard.

 

 

 

Why I never...you are a sick bastard. A sick, sick, sick bastard.

 

 

 

Where is this picture.

 

 

 

Why should I show you animal hater.

 

 

 

It was just a suggestion for your sake.

 

 

 

My sake. Look at this basement and tell me it is not better than anywhere else in this house!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

We can't even show it in color for gods sake! This is so unsanatary,and look at the birds living room!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Why does that bird need all those chairs? Who does he invite over?

 

 

 

He says there are these birds that are called [roosters] and that he likes those birds... :shock:

 

 

 

You bird is a woman bird!

 

 

 

Man, that completely hit me. And the whole time that I walked in there and the bird asked me if I wanted him I just replied "Maybe someday." I thought he was gay!

 

 

 

And I think you are like byspecies gay.

 

 

 

What, so I like animals and I can't tell there sex.

 

 

 

Why are there dead parrots here? AND WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?

 

 

 

I am a robotic version of Blue Jay. C3PO human cyborg relations.

 

 

 

THEN WHERES...

 

 

 

Man that was a good sleep. Hay? GET THE HELL OUT OF MY HOUSE!

 

 

 

Who was that?

 

 

 

I dunno.

 

 

 

MEANWHILE:

 

 

 

Oh, lord that was a terrible nightmare. Good lord I hope I don't have to do another one of those reports.

 

 

 

Oh, please come back to bed hon.

 

 

 

AUDIENCE: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock:

 

 

 

AUDIENCE: Is this an actual episode.

 

 

 

This episode of THE SIMPSONS will return.

 

 

 

AUDIENCE: Oh thank god.

 

 

 

MEANWHILE:

 

 

 

I AM GOING TO SUE THOSE DIRTBAGS! I AM NOT GAY! OR TRANSPECIES GAY. I AM A 25 year old man with an ounce of dignity left in him.

 

 

 

Then why are you in the noob police?

 

 

 

What the hell are you doing here? GET OUT!

 

 

 

LATER:

 

 

 

I would like to point out to the court that they had no permission from me to do this.

 

 

 

Your honor, that is a lie. We have it right here.

 

 

 

He is right sir. This is signed by you. And no signs of forgery.

 

 

 

Well maybe I was a little drunk.

 

 

 

Case dismissed. Bring in the next defendant.

 

 

 

Those people made fun of me on public television.

 

 

 

You were drunk when you signed the form.

 

 

 

How did you know?

 

 

 

Court dismissed.

 

 

 

 

 

IF ANYONE WAS OFFENDED (namely blue jay) REMEMBER THAT IT WAS ALL ON AN EPISODE OF A COMEDY SERIES. BLUE JAY IS NOT CALLED GAY AND TRANSPECIES GAY TO OFFEND HIM, OR TELL THE WORLD ABOUT HIM. (HAY I DON"T KNOW). SORRY TO EVERYONE WHO FELT BAD ABOUT THIS AND NEXT EPISODE WILL BE A LOT MORE TONED DOWN>

If one of the mods will tell PM me and tell me if my last post was inapropriate or not I will get rid of it or I will keep it there. We should probably put these Blue Jay stories on a new post but I dont know how to

All the blue jay files will now be on the new post.

Umm who actually said what?

 

I don't think the story offended me on the gay count, and on the transpeices...well I am not transpecies so you will need to find someone to account for that.

 

 

 

Anyway ummm assuming the characters were who I thought they were. It was quite good, just seemed a little bit too visionary. Everything was related to something like a picture and because it wasn't there it sort of lost its edge....anyway if the files are going to be on a new topic maybe you should change the name to 'Something Random' because everything seems so....crazy, ideas being dropped and taken up at a moments notice. Its confusing to me and I help to co-write at least a third of it. Lol.

I am sorry to announce the end of the Snake and Noob franchise and the beginning of another. THE RANDOM SHOW: BLUE JAY FILES will continue my works soon. I will tell you what happened with the minotaur and then I will have the noob police join in war. Then more fun excitment with Blue Jay. Say goodbye to this thread and welcome the next part of the Ratchet's Runescape series into your home. Thank you for letting me spam up the forums to by the way. Really, who thought these would succeed?

Archimage appears. The crowd is solumly awaiting the final message until ratchet gets bored with his current idea. Archimage steps up to the podium.

 

 

 

*Ahem*

 

This is the end. My only friend the end.

 

With scene and sight and...car signs. We been though everything.

 

But now. Together we will travel no more.

 

For this is the end. The holy end.

 

 

 

Wasted away again in pizzara-vill.

 

Searching for my lost shaker of salt.

 

The time has gone by. We are alone.

 

Forever we are the dying men of honour.

 

 

 

 

 

And so ends the heroic struggles of a bunch of people. We all should give thanks that we were not involved in the making of this thread...except the people that were, and were degraded accordingly. But for everyone else we have had a good run and...One moment please.....What the hell do you mean they are cutting us shor....

 

 

 

BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP

Wow transpecies gay.. :shock: :shock:

 

 

 

Is this really teh end of the snake and noob francise!!!111shift+1!!!!1!one!!

 

Oh noes! :cry: RIP snake and noob

 

 

 

Ah well.. but honestly I found myself liking the blue jay files better than old snake and noob.. Blue J flies is funnier and snake and noob just got too preachy at the end (lol jk)

 

 

 

I will be looking forward to this next umm series big time!

waaa it brings a tear to my eye seeing this thread close :( :( :( i'l miss the snake and noob series :( :( :(

As will I, may you rest in peace dear thread. We will uncover you in many years from now when the library will be brought back from the dead....but I still didn't get the chance to truly star in it. I shall miss you Snake and Noob!

For a change of pace...we are gonna see a lot of blue jay stories for a while and no SNake and Noob. Author is having a lot more fun with Blue Jay at the moment and since he has not been used at all for a looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong time, we will give him what he deserves. (Me, screwing up his character) is he reading this?

 

Yes I am reading this... Now...

 

 

 

I AM GOING TO SUE THOSE DIRTBAGS! I AM NOT GAY! OR TRANSPECIES GAY. I AM A 25 year old man with an ounce of dignity left in him.

 

Try 14 with loads of dignity left in him. And yes I WILL sue.Not! :

Here is my question to all my devoted readers.

 

 

 

SHOULD I CONTINUE SNAKE AND NOOB ON HERE?

 

 

 

I have not mentioned much on the random show so lets ask Archimage and Blue Jay and powerent and lya_Helix and Unoalexi and everyone else. SHOULD I KEEP THIS THREAD GOING WHILE WORKING ON THE RANDOM SHOW AS WELL?

You do what you want. I enjoy both. No real opinion

 

 

 

Yes I know I love my simple answers :XD:

Well you are busy so its not like you can do both very often...So that would mean a Bi-Dual-Daily system.

 

I like my complicated answers :)

 

 

 

Anyway just means that if you were gonna do it then it would probably one on here and one on there...But to be perfectly honest I have too much on and I don't like the BlueJay files that much(Its funny but it hasn't hooked me...I don't find myself logging on at 3Am to see if its been updated)...So to meits not a big deal either way. I get my laughs when I have spare time and its nice to have a break from the Snake and Noob line.

 

 

 

So up to you...and everyone else.

Snake and Noob will be continued. =D> :thumbsup:

 

 

 

On A NEW THREAD

 

 

 

Look for "Snake and Noob remix" and you will find what your looking for.

 

 

 

Also...Guns and Swords will now be one of my pride writings on this forum.

 

 

 

So Look ar Snake and Noob Remix for a redone version of Snake and NOob