Kalafai, the wailful waif, and her ailing tutorual

[Kalafai]

After Time Kitten's Wilderness Training Stint, in which a few tuna were cooked and many harpoons lost in the final days of the old wildy, a new quest begins. Kalafai, the wailful waif, living in Androuge one day stumbles upon the market sign, gasping in shock at the 1337 delicious cakes stolen. She journeys to Lumbridge, where she seeks to claim her fortune, or just annoy as many people as possible, whichever comes first.

 

Let us begin.

 

First off, brand spanking new account to celebrate the day! Oh, the new tutorial, of course! Yay, bronze armour! No, I dun wanna give it back! Whaaaa! Okay, well, I get to keep the axe, right?

 

Hey, what's this? Lumbridge? Right out into the crule crule world already, well, at least you gave me not one, but TWO woodcutting levels.

 

Tattered clothes, messy hair, bad tan, and... well, that's it.

 

Levels 1...1...1.. lots more ones... 10 hp, 4 woodcutting.

 

Total wealth... 0

 

-------

Objective one, Mining and Smithing Tutorial!

 

Even though I picked the axe, and the roots, Roddy seems to think I like rocks or something. Or at least really hate tress in a violent manner.

 

I start down the street...

 

 

 

Oh my, public brawling! Perhaps there's need of some sort of policifying force in lumbridge... and maybe they are hiring... but I've already had a job interview set up for me, so no since wasting time.

 

I met a rather snazzly dressed hobo in front of the castle, seems to claim his job was stolen by Roddy. I probably shouldn't talk to him. I do wonder if the owl is for sale though.

 

Okay, first right, end of the street, building on the right... hmm... precariously suspended sharp object of splitting... this must be it.. had better stay out from under it though, sounds squeeky.

 

Oh, nice man this Bob fellow, I tell him I want to buy a pick, but don't have any moneys. He gives me a bronze pick for free. Wonderful! I surely will never need another anyways, will I?

 

Okay, just follow the path out south of the graveyard... spooky, yet peacefull. Must either be a remote spot to practice, or conveniently placed for mass accidents. I hope it's the former.

I squint at the rocks, just like Roddy tells me to, and find some copper, conveniently dumped next to tin. Wow, if I remember my metallurgy then..

 

Aha! with the help of Roddy's slave [photo omitted, signed, and given to slave boy] boy at the bellows, I smelt the ores together into bronze, an alloy much easier to melt than either of the metals, and much harder than iron. I guess he wants me learning fast or something.

 

I need a hammer if I'm to do anything though, and I still don't have any moneys, so I steel one out of the barrel while my buddy blocks me from site of the shopkeeper.

 

I figure the town blacksmith would let me use the forge... but no, I have to walk all the way to the next town. What is the world coming to where a twiggy little girl like me can't bash chunks of metal into useful shivs willy nilly?

 

I pass what smells and sounds like an open air slaughterhouse on the way. PETA, where are you?

 

Some wizardy hobo tries to sell me magoty meat in an old hat wrapped in a newspaper... no thanks, I'm not that hungry.

 

 

Some nicer farmland... ah, the walls of Varrok, certainly a beacon of light in this cruel, twisted world... or a burned out husk of a slum, as it seems to be. I find the abandoned blackmarket blacksmith shop Roddy directed me to. I smith an axe... Roddy yells at me for wasting my time, and I need to run all the way back to get some more bronze because I'm not following instructions. I cry and start to run home, before I remember I don't have one, so maybe best to just try again, maybe Roddy will let me sleep at his place.

 

Roddy seems to have found out about the stealing thing to, and makes me get a new hammer. I sell the old one to the shop for five golds! Then I take the free sample. I think I got this economics thing down.

 

I smiths a dagger like he asks this time, how thoughtful, now I can defend my- he tells me to sell it. I suppose that works to. Sword shop has lots of daggers already, and expensive swords, and expensivier bigger swords. I sell the defective dagger for six golds, and take the free sample bronze shortsword worth 26 golds. Roddy congratulates me on my economics.

 

I run back to Lumbridge, because it is getting late. I go to the place I left Roddy, to ask him if I can stay with him. But there was this Explorer Jack guy there, he said it was his house, and told me maybe I should take notes in my diary... as if I hadn't already.

 

Luckily in the local barracks there was some public sleeping arrangements... but it's cold, and there aren't any doors... and I don't feel safe, even with stabby.

 

-----

 

After a long hard day of dragon slayin, smithin, and not eatin anythan, and a night of waving stabby at all the people trying to get me in my sleep, I'm kinda hungry. Time to go find me some foods.

 

I heads off to the general store across the street, thinkin they maybe has potato chips or somethan.

None, no food at all. Even after waving my fist in a menacing manner. What is the world coming to.

 

I decide to ask Roddy where to get food. He tells me to smith more stuffs for him. Man, what a slave driver. But I am surely getting twice... no, make that thrice as good picking up these rocks now.

 

An look, someone just up and left their ax here... I think I'll call it choppy.

 

So I smelted some rocks, then headed back off to the anvil, allong the way getting accosted by a terrible demon. It didn't even have any pants! But luckily a guard dispaciated it in time.

 

After smithins a couple more daggers, I smithed a couple maces to mix things up. But the shops seems to overspecialize on swordy things, even when threatened menacingly with the maces. Guess I'll keep those.

 

Roddy, says fine, I can has some food... and it only tooked five minutes of crying.

 

But he doesn't like choppy, so sends me back to the sword shop. Using my advanced economics skills, I sell Stabby and get Stabby Jr. as a complimentary gift for being such a dedicated customer.

 

I travel to the chicken side of the open air slaughterhouse. I take the hatchet from the stump, and demeat a chicken.

 

I take a bite... it not taste so good.. ugh.. Mr.G. tells me I missed a step, and I should head back to Lumbridge and cook it. I break into a house where the stove was left on, and cook the greasy bird over the range grill style, no pots or pans or anything.

 

It's delicious... and I hide the bones under the stairs so as not to make a mess. I also sell Bob both my old, dirty hatchets, and get a fresh one from the sample bin.

 

Oh, boy, I got to show Roddy all this neat stuff I have!

 

Special quest episode, in which I find a bug.

 

I show Roddy, my stuffs, all two hundreds and fifty three geepies worth of it.

Sir Vant, disguised as a musician outside took my pick and axe ;_;

 

Roddy tells me I should get a job, and get out of his house. I ask if he has a job for me, and he tells me he didn't mean in that order. I run crying down the road north out of the town.

Lost, I knock at the door of a farmhouse. A scary, angry looking guy named Fred opens the doors yelling at me, I cry some more.

I tell him I'm lost, and can't go back to Lumbridge without a job. He tells me I can sheer sheep. But that the last person was scared off by an eldrich horror of some sort mascarading as a sheep. This could be dangerous, but he's sure I can handle it. I tells him that I am an expert at sheering sheep and making balls of wool, in order to help myself get a job.

 

I see a nearby-pre broken into barn. There are goblins about, so I figure they will be blamed as I snatch some shears.

The goblin was being slayed on my way out, so I hope that the farmer will just assume the tool misplaced.

 

I nakedify a sheep... this seems easy enough.

 

Oh my, apparently I've killeded one. I guess the heads aren't supposed to come off with the wool then. I hide the body in the roots of a tree, near a goblin just to be safe from blame.

Seems I've accidentally cut something important off one of the rams again.. I'll hide the body next to the trough this time.

I don't seem to be very good at this sheering business... but I am getting more accurate with choppy, if that helps.... darn it, sheered a leg or three off of this one. maybe I'd better buy a spade with the money I make.

 

I check my map for spinning wheels. Seems like the closest one is in a barbarian village. That seems rather dangerous, so the next closest one seems to be in Falador, capital of Asgarnia. That's quite the trek, no wonder Fred can't do this job himself. So I get to walkin.... it's like halfway across the world.

I cross the boarder, jogging my way down the road. I stop at a musician to listen and raise my spirits, but he seems to be working with a pair of highwaymen that accost me as I listen, but I am able to outrun them, at least.

Safely behind the walls of Falador, I find the public wheel, and spin spin spin. At least I am better at this than sheering. Nothing dies at the very least.

I am accosted by another terrible demon with no pants, but I manage to chase it off this time by myself with the help of choppy. It poofs away in a bit of sulferus smoke when it realizes it is overmatched.

I make the trek back to Fred.. I get stabbed along the way by the frustrated highway man, but it will heal... I think... blood everywhere through. Maybe the White Knights should patrol the area more. Demons and miscreants everywhere.

 

Fred yells at me for taking so long... then yells at me for only having 16 balls of wool... hey, it's not my fault I can't count. But I cry anyways, and run off to swing wildly at more sheep in hopes of not killing them.

 

Oh, god, I just seem to be getting better at killing them. What sort of dangerous psychopath sheep murderer am I becoming? I brry the bones under some flowers, and rush off across the countryside once again, and the next countryside to ball more wool.

 

...

...

 

Yay, 60 coins! I should polish some buttons, or something to celebrate... where can I get me some buttons? Ah well, smithin money was better, and less dangerous, and I didn't nearly have to kill so many sheep to do it. I tell Fred that regrettably I will not be able to stay with his organization. He kicks me out on the road.

[Kalafai]

Hiya, me, your spunky waif once again.

 

After some crying in a ditch, reminding me of many years of my childhood, I ask Roddy what I should do.

 

He says... Web of Shadows, complete it.

 

He points to the most middle of nowhere spot ever in Argansia on my map, but I don't question him. Because questions are what get you smacked.

 

The sky darkens over, and I come across a suspicious looking portal.

 

This looks like the place.

 

It leads to a rather cleanly and well kept place.

 

I pass through the forer, and there before my terribly innocent eyes is a rather grim and terrifying figure, Death, and what I can only assume to be the souls of the damned running every which way around him.

 

I plead for my life, and he offers me a chance to trade my services for preservation of my mortal form.

 

I am given a task, a terrible task, a most frightening task indeed. Oh, Sarodomin! It's bigger than me! Maybe if I can intimidate it...

 

Maybe ask nicely...

 

Okay, carefull questioning... yep, only the spider queen can tell him to move, I just need to tell old grimmy and that's a wrap!

 

Oh... No... no... NOOOO!!! I whimper and cower, but Grim opens the portal, apparently I must brace the spider queen, and force her to resend the orders of the giant spider... well, got death on my side, right?

 

I wander the dark, gloomy, rickety webs for hours it seems there is no end.

 

Eventually, I come across the thicker areas, which at least stand up to my impressive acrobatics, trained for years upon the couch of agility.

 

I eventually make it to a stable chamber... Filled to the brim with monsters! People just lining up to be eaten. I feel I have no choice but to brave the same fate.

 

I'm sent deeper into the lair, surely as a sweet snack for their horrid queen.

 

My experience within the chamber is too horrible to recount here.

 

I return to the Grim manner in a daze, guided by a terrible warden of that dark world, to spread misery to the manor of death. A fate almost too horrible to imagine.

 

The task, otherwise, is simple, at least until I have the brace the foul beast in the tea room. It was inflicting horrible tortures upon the damned souls about as I arrived.

 

Eventually I manage to lull the breast into submission, but the horrid thing commanding me has allied with it... twice the doom for me, it seems.

 

I finish, and set to return news to the spider queen... A reward, my life is enough... what a um "lovely" silk cape but... on no, my captor wishes to keep me under watch... to never let me free!

 

On the way home to Lumbridge, I seem to have been attacked by some unknown assailant, and gone to Grim's work office. He explains death isn't so bad. Then why couldn't he kill the spider? We'll never know.

 

I manage to recover my things just as Grim said, but also managed to free myself from my captor, and the mark of the spider queen. A little creepy having my own bones in my pocket through, so I bury them respectfully under a majestic yew tree.

 

Roddy scoffs at my story, and tells me to go help some wizards or something, then grumbles that maybe the'll turn me into a pile of ash or something. I don't think I was meant to hear that, so I reflexively run before he can hit me.

[LatinII]

Awesome. Lovely stories, I'll definitely be checking out this blog a lot.

[Kalafai]

I go to the top of the keep, to see if I can see the tower, but looks like a no go, way too much fog.

 

Strangely, I find what appears to be a bank up there. I wonder if I can get a personally loan, maybe a first time home owner's...

 

Apparantly I only qualify for deposit services, something about ordering twelve hundred bunyips on a major credit card. I've never had a credit card.... I at least ask if I get interest. Nope, that all goes to paying off my debt... aw man. Well, I at least put all my supplies in so I don't have to lug them around.

 

I set a pin so nothing like that can ever happen again. It goes something like two nine... or was that a five... three eight? Well, I'm sure it will work out... of I go!

 

I meet a well dressed guy on my way down, I ask him for mon3ys.. he tells me to learn woodcutting or something. I ask again, and he gives me some sort of amulte to take the the wizard's tower... then grumbles something about hoping I get turned into a newt. I run. I run fast.

 

I reach the wizard tower, sure looks wizardy.... or at least towerly, and full of wizards.

 

There's a most lovely pair of boots on the table in the library, I snatch them while the wizard on duty isn't looking, and run around the corner.

 

I stumble into the basement... looks rather unkempt, so might be a good place to hide while they forget about the boots.

 

Sedridor, the wizard I was sent here to meet catches me down here, I distract him by shoving the talisman at him.

 

He tells me all about something called rune stones, and that he wants to know what they are about, and hands me a package like I'm some sort of errand girl. If it's soo important, can't he just like... teleport to Varrok himself?

 

I head to the indicated hovell in southern Varrok. A crazy old man with a monical tries to sell me runes, but I shove the package at him... maybe someone in lumbridge can tell me more about this magic stuff on my way back to the wizard tower with the return communique.

 

In the Lumbridge barracks, I find a lady named Mikasi. She looks wizardy. She tells me I need runes... not much else, but she does offer me use of the training dummies... well, back to what I was doing.

 

Sedridor gave a long boring speech. I admit I wasn't paying attention. But he gave me the talisman, and I wondered off, maybe I'd ask Roddy what's next.

[onedaysoon]

Great read :)

Looking forward to seeing more :D

[technichien]

Great read :)

Looking forward to seeing more :D

that :P

[Kalafai]

I knock on Roddy's door. It opens a little and he screams and slams it again. It reminds me of my parents at home for some reason.

 

He tells me to go far, far away, beyond Falador, then grumbles something about maybe the goblins could eat me.

 

I of course run, as is the proper response... the one that doesn't have me being hit, and set out to Falador, as I must listen to my adviser if I am to become successful.

 

I rest at the bard on the road to Falador, then scream and charge the highwayman who assaulted me before.

 

His armour is impenetrable to choppy, I flee to the safety of guards and walls. I must find better weapons to brace such fiends. Perhaps if I shop around in Falador.

 

I locate a cheezilly saradominist windowed chainmaille store. I think I could manage making the bronze myself, maybe, but might gather the coin to splurge for iron.

 

Ah, finally, the mace shop, now to sell my creations! Though, after careful deliberations, I decide Choppy is a better choice than their iron maces.

 

Lovely, a shield shop! though they are quite expensive for my limited capital, I make a determination that I must return when I've more persuasive fistfuls of shinies.

 

Me, afford a house? After laughing so hard I was laying in the gutter coughing up blood, I think it's time to move on. Obviously they don't know about poor people here.

 

I come across the great wall separating north from south Argansia. It's closed tight. Ah well, they wouldn't let me back in there again so soon anyways.

 

I head to a small homestead directly across from the gate to ask if they need any work done, as surely I am far enough beyond Falador by now.

 

Oh my, this poor man is so short, almost like a dwarf! I hope he's not a cripple. They expect you to give them things, not the other way around.... oooh, but that sure is a shiny anvil, even if it's on the floor. I ask if I could use one.

 

Materials for maintenance? Shouldn't be too hard, jsut take the money and run to the store for you?

 

6 clay... 4 copper ore... 2 iron... wait, what's this you're giving me to buy it with... a PICKAXE!? Manual labour in order to perform skilled labour it is then, though I have no idea how I'll get iron.

 

Onward to the Dwarvern mines...

 

...

 

...

 

Two days later I stumble into the dwarvern camp, having survived off snow and what I could steal from the crazy old lady on the mountain. Maybe I should have checked my map.

 

I descend into the dark, dank hole fit only for filthy filthy dwarves... and myself... I fell sad at that part.

 

Plan A, buying the ore from the miners fails. The shopkeeper only sells what is sold to him, and he's so under priced that no one does. Sigh, more work for me.

 

I get a bit more practiced with the mining of the copper, but my pick just dulls against the iron ore... barely enough point to it to get clay now, which I completely fill my pockets with. Maybe I can make pies out of it... I'm so hungry.

 

I think on my way out I get lost and head the wrong way... I find a pickaxe manufactury, and decide to upgrade to iron.

 

Five coins short it seems... ah well, maybe next time.

 

But praises, I find a lost bronze chainbody, and rush it to the shopkeeper to "hold" and rush those coins with my others to get a new pick.

 

I try it out on some more clay, just to be sure it is better. Oh my good golly gosh, an emerald! I'm rich, filthy stinking rich, like a dwarf!

 

I eventually manage to find my way out. Now, to get the iron, of course, I can sell this emerald. I know I saw a gem shop in Falador, but I'd better cut out one of the middle men.

 

I head east! The legendary grand exchange in varrock will surely find me a decent price.

 

From edgeville I check my map, to the south is the dangerous barbarian village, surely no place for me. I'd better skirt the wilderness. The ditch will keep me safe.

 

An earth rune and a wooden shield. Surely strange things to leave laying around, ah well, who am I to not pick up things off the floor.

 

Ah, the north gate of Varrok. Sure looks nicer on this end. well, must cross to the west now... but first... something about sample runes?

 

Yay, 30 air runes and 30 mind runes! I'll be a powerful mage addicted to the power of blowing out candles with my magic, and addicted in no time, or so Aubury says as I walk out and around, happening to walk in front of his open window.

 

I enter the grand exchange, and a guy with a cone and fancy clothes explains everything.

 

I wake up in a puddle of drool on the stone floor sometime later as he finishes explaining, and rush off to the counter.

 

I sell my emerald and extra clay, and become a thousandare. I feel slightly less poor.

 

I buy two notes of iron ore, and the bank lady helps me out.

 

Now to return with all these supplies.

 

I plot a path south to lumbridge, west through Draynor, right at Port Sarim, left at the other side of Falador....

[Kalafai]

Today was the day I killed a man.

 

Not just any man, but my nemisiss.

 

A valient and terrible fight it was.

 

But in the end I was victorious.

 

Glory and prizes mine own.

 

And the name of this boss I fought...

 

Highwayman #5

 

 

 

I snuck into the farm near the crossroads, skirted the duckpond, and mashed up one of each of the two rune types I had in my hands, and flung the crumbly mixture at him.

 

"Stand and deliver!" he cried again and again, as he tried to scale the fence, getting tripped up on his own longcoat.

 

It took a great many of my runes, but I finally laid him down, and claimed his cape as my prize.

 

I buried his body respectfully under a yew tree. Such a wothy opponent, as he overcompensated with his sword and anger for his reduced manlyness, so shall in death shall he overcompensate with a great and unfellable tree as his tombstone.

 

The trim on the cape compliments the plaid of my shirt nicely.

 

I celebrate by buying an awesome iron kiteshield from Cassie's Shield Shop. Surely nothing can strike me as long as I have this raised...

 

My arm hangs limp at my side... this thing sure is heavy.

 

I return to Doric the dwarf, regaling him with my glorious deeds in this quest. He seems quite pleased.

 

He praises me, and teaches me more secrets of mining, so that I might better be able to fetch my own iron, eventually. I still need practice though. Spindly arms.

 

 

 

 

4 quest points, 3 attack, 2 magic, 3 crafting, 2 smiting, 12 mining, and told thousands of coins on hand.

 

Surely a great adventurer am I.

[nerdboyxxx]

Haha very nice stories, please keep it up they're very entertaining!

[Kaida23]

:lol: OMG, I can't wait for the next entry. You certainly have a flair for the descriptive. =D>

[l33thunt3r]

Most interesting blog ever.

 

Can I make a guest appearance? :)

[Kalafai]

Why thanks all. Pictures may be out, there's just too many to crop each and every one.

 

Guest appearances are a possiblility, but I don't play Kalafai often. Eventually I'll need special guest stars for the shield of arrav quest.

[nerdboyxxx]

Bugger I finished Shield of Arrav at least 3 years ago :(

[Youmu]

Nice read, it reminds me of my noob days. :P

[Kaida23]

Guest appearances are a possiblility, but I don't play Kalafai often. Eventually I'll need special guest stars for the shield of arrav quest.

Actually, that's the only free quest I still haven't done. If you want, PM me and we can arrange it.

[Kalafai]

My journey back to Falador for a place to rest was interupted by a street magician dissapearing people into his magic cupboard. I, being a cute and innocent waif, volentiered, and searched for a panel in the back of the cupboard while he rang his own bell or some such.

 

AHHHHHH!!!

 

 

Demons, ghosts, vile whitches.. and ice and snow! I did NOT dress for this1!!!1q!

 

The terrible, nasty things want me to attack a kindly old man defending his home against burglers sneaking in through the chimny. I want to say no... but there are so many of them... I seem to have no choice.

 

I'm escorted by a terrible and surely fearsome demon named called Norris.

 

Apparantly we're here to rescue this man that's been impersonating Shanty Claws, and giving terrible baubles to the childerkins.

 

The kindly old man righty threatens to turn my mother into a toad as we break in. Ah well, wouldn't be the first time.

 

We talk to the kindly old man. His name is Eb. I like him. But he says no. Norris has me gather bedsheets, chains, and such. I grab a shovel out of habit. Norris says we wont need that. So I grab some buckets to put cement in instead.

 

This demon is strange, he wants me to put the sheets over my head. I can't really blame him. I must be as ugly to him as he is to me, right?

 

Apparantly I am supposed to threaten Eb. I claim to be a giant floating napkin sent by the demon's party. Luckily the blame lands on them, and I am unscathed by his retaliatory magicks.

 

Oh no, the other prisoners of the icy demons have been traped in fire by mistake. I gather up the colder than freezing water in my buckets and douse them again and again until they aren't even warm anymore. Tiny Thom doesnt' look so well, all blue and not moving, but the rest of them at least have little breath clouds still.

 

We throw the corpse in the old man's fireplace, hoping the authorities will place the blame on him.... but apparently this is a lawless land and I am the authority so.... new plan!

 

I do all sorts of scary things that boys don't like like blow kisses at him and dance, then, after being attacked by some vicious bats, I point at this most awesome rock with his name carved into it. Eb clutches over his heart and falls over.

 

Well, at least they fed me afterwards.

[Kalafai]

Sorry for the space between updates, but getting those play hours on Time Kitten. As soon as she gets her quest cape, Kalafai is next to be members. I'd rather like to do some low level members training, and play with all these cool little places, and give you daily updates. I'd also like to see how a low level summoner works out in combat, relying on a possibly higher leveled creature than themselves, maybe with some light maging support, so want to wait for the intensive training til I get this one to members.

 

Also, Kalafai will be glad to answer all your questions and letters, and lob double talk and veiled threats at you with a smile if you ever meet her in game as well.

 

But to the point... any requests for the next episode's content?

[Wouter828]

I feel obliged to tell you that there is, in fact, a spinning wheel on the first floor of Lumbridge castle. This should help you in any further sheep killing campaigns ;)

[Kalafai]

I feel obliged to tell you that there is, in fact, a spinning wheel on the first floor of Lumbridge castle. This should help you in any further sheep killing campaigns ;)

Well, certainly while such would have been convenient, I happen to have seen other, less fragile looking sheep in my travels. Surely ol' Fred can't be too bothered purchasing new ones should I sneak into his fields again, but this whole killing thing gets more tedious each time you do it.

 

And... as my informant tells me, apparently Fred would have told me where to find that certain spinning wheel had I not falsified my credentials.

[Kalafai]

I woke, head pounding still from all that Wintember mead, in Falador park.

 

I crawl around for a bit, and find myself at some trees... mocking me, with their greenness, and upstandyness.

 

Time to show them what is what!

 

I grab some cash from the bank, and the world spins around me as I arive at Bob's Axes to purchase my weapon.

 

Iron hatchet in hand, I decide it's not enough to merely murder them all, I have to burn the corpses in front of the survivors to make them pay for mocking me.

 

+1 tinderbox, and I am off to practice on the already dead ones just past the bridge of Lum.

 

It starts off quite well, but there are spiders about, biting at my poor, undefended shins. I manage to stomp them out, but just barely.

 

Practicing was sure a good idea, I'm near twice as good at chopping them down, and 9 times as quick at burning them.

 

It looked like a goblin was about to give away my plans, but that was dealt with easily enough.

 

Now off to the other side of lumbridge to give those trees what for!

 

I pick up a steel axe along the way, and suit up in my bestest armour... which consists of an iron shield and a bronze bowl I found in an abandoned building.

 

Spiders spiders everywhere... starting to feel woozy from all the bites.

 

Argh, all these spiders... I finnally gave up with squishing them with my hands... such a mess on my skirt now, and started whapping them with my axe.

 

The small ones are easy, it's the big ones that are getting me... I suppose I should shop some armour.

 

 

I chop and burn my way north, eventually making my way back to farmer Fred's place.

 

He seems a little scared at first, then shoves money at me, saying something about protecion...

 

I don't know what he's talking about, but I take the money anyways, and run along the north road before he changes his mind.

 

I met a man named Beefy Bill... a bit more chunky than beefy... and purchased my lunch from his meat stall.

 

I was smart, I got the spinach roll. No one trusts the meat from meat stalls. No one smart anyways.

 

I also got his kid's old bow and arrow... asked him why he didn't need it anymore. Bill said something about giant rats and started crying.

 

On northward still!

 

Crossing the bridge, I wasted all the dull arrows trying to get some duck for dinner... but apparantly they sink, so I tossed the bow to the little island with the oak to implicate the tree in poaching, and continued on.

 

I made it to Varrok, with only minor events involving a necromancer, three gypsies, a unicorn without a horn, and some torstol smoke.

 

I stocked up my outfit with a steel longsword... I'll name it Slashy, and some iron armour... skirt, chain and med helm. I don't know what's so med about it, certainly no sm ones.

 

I also stocked up on a bow, some arrows, and a leather outfit for when I go for nights out.

 

Maybe I should test it out on those giant rats Beefy Bill mentioned.

 

 

I find the rats in a pin next to some lovely tables... a bit suspicious that they are in a farm... and start sticking them with the little stabby sticks.

 

They can't get me over the fence... probably for the better.

 

I stock up on rat meat.. I wont go hungry for almost the rest of the week at this rate!

 

Oh, my, berries... the pink ones are delicious.

[Cup Lion]

Absolutely brilliant and entertaining.

[Kaida23]

Another brilliant entry. :thumbup:

 

Lolz. "upstandyness" :lol:

[Kalafai]

I wake in a dusty ally, laying on some broken vodka glasses, my stomach quite upset.

 

Perhaps berries were not the right idea.

 

I decide to investigate to see if anyone knows of this berry tampering that must have happened.

 

I find a soppy looking man in an outfit matching the colours of the two types of berries. He seems forgetful, but poking him with a crossbow seems to have taken care of that.

 

Apparently there is this Juliet person I must investigate now.

 

A rather feirce man named Draul stops me at the door as I find the right house, accusing me of snooping around on the berry official's behalf. I assume this is the right place and quite naturally deny it all, and precede in.

 

I managed to sneak past Juliet's bodyguard and speak a code phrase to here, and recieve a letter... perhaps it is a confession for the berry monger?

 

I manage to help him decipher the code and head off to meet with a "Father Lawrance" clearly some sort of mafia boss.a

 

GASP! Poison and a plot to murder... but I need evidence, so head to inquire of the potion.

 

Certainly getting closer to my goal, the back ally herbilist in a bad part of town has me fetch the tainted berries for his concoction.

 

I return to the berry monger, and he suggest I drink the vile concoction... I fill with outrage, and tell him it is not ordinary cadavaberry juice.

 

But we cannot stop so low, we have to go higher to the top of the berry tainters.

 

I manage to convince Juliet that this is the untainted berry juice from father lawrence. I don't think she looks so good after she drank it... but I manage to get her bodyguard to sound convincing with a little waving of Slashy, and escape the house.

 

After a daring raid, everything worked out in the end, and I got five gold stars!

[Cup Lion]

Bravo! :thumbup:

[Ice_and_Spec]

Awesome stories, very fun to read ;) I'll keep checking this blog out :D