Arranged marriage is barbaric

[assassin_696]

 

 

Well if it makes you happier, for every two marriages in the U.S. in 1990's, there was one divorce.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

But at least people in the US get to choose who they marry.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

That's not the point. The point is that those in arranged marriages have lower divorce rates than those in voluntary marriages.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Possibly because they're strictly adhering to a religion or belief system that will damage their credibility or reputation if they were to divorce. They don't divorce because to do so would mean social exile.

[darkmage099]

 

 

Well if it makes you happier, for every two marriages in the U.S. in 1990's, there was one divorce.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

But at least people in the US get to choose who they marry.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

That's not the point. The point is that those in arranged marriages have lower divorce rates than those in voluntary marriages.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hence, the woosh. Anyway, arranged marriage is not like marrying someone random. Your parent's usually have your best interest at heart.

[Faux]

I swear, why do people keep rubbing American statistics at me?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I can't give a flying [bleep] if the American society has gone to [cabbage]. But the thing is, I have citizenship to two countries and they are NOT the United States. Enough with the mentality that America equals the world.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Is it that hard to comprehend that not everyone that has access to the Internet is American?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Just because culture is a myth to the American society doesn't mean it's the same everywhere else.

[Faux]

Hence, the woosh. Anyway, arranged marriage is not like marrying someone random. Your parent's usually have your best interest at heart.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Pray tell, what are the merits of having arranged marriage?

[issy2]

 

 

Well if it makes you happier, for every two marriages in the U.S. in 1990's, there was one divorce.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

But at least people in the US get to choose who they marry.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

That's not the point. The point is that those in arranged marriages have lower divorce rates than those in voluntary marriages.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It may be that, while the divorce rate is lower, people involved in arranged marriage don't have so much of an option for divorce as I'm guessing it would often result in disgrace and family feuds. You can't measure unhappiness through divorce stats - it's not the only factor.

[Faux]

Statistics lol

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Want statistics? ZERO divorce rate in the Philippines.

[insane]

 

 

 

Well if it makes you happier, for every two marriages in the U.S. in 1990's, there was one divorce.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

But at least people in the US get to choose who they marry.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

That's not the point. The point is that those in arranged marriages have lower divorce rates than those in voluntary marriages.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It may be that, while the divorce rate is lower, people involved in arranged marriage don't have so much of an option for divorce as I'm guessing it would often result in disgrace and family feuds. You can't measure unhappiness through divorce stats - it's not the only factor.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Yes well my post was in response to someone trying to use divorce stats in their favour.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Statistics lol

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Want statistics? ZERO divorce rate in the Philippines.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Statistics are usually backed up by a study; or if a study is being quoted, the study is cited.

[Faux]

That still doesn't change anything

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

edit: oh and I forgot to do this. Can't believe I'm slacking..

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Well if it makes you happier, for every two marriages in the U.S. in 1990's, there was one divorce.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Well, in the world of Krypton, there are 3 divorces for each marriage

[Firebird75]

That still doesn't change anything

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

edit: oh and I forgot to do this. Can't believe I'm slacking..

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Well if it makes you happier, for every two marriages in the U.S. in 1990's, there was one divorce.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Well, in the world of Krypton, there are 3 divorces for each marriage

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Well, Krypton doesn't exist my comic book friend

[Faux]

Well, Krypton doesn't exist my comic book friend

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Oh boy oh boy, you got me :o

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

FYI, I never ever bought a DC/Marvel comic books :P

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

and I still want to know what the logic is behind this:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hence, the woosh. Anyway, arranged marriage is not like marrying someone random. Your parent's usually have your best interest at heart.

[lawrencekill]

 

That still doesn't change anything

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

edit: oh and I forgot to do this. Can't believe I'm slacking..

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Well if it makes you happier, for every two marriages in the U.S. in 1990's, there was one divorce.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Well, in the world of Krypton, there are 3 divorces for each marriage

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Well, Krypton doesn't exist my comic book friend

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Lol. Btw I'm was not stating that one kind of marriage is better than another, many just assumed so.

[Grim_Jokes]

I'm interested to know whether you'd be at least bit insulted if someone criticized your culture.. the same way you did, you know. Calling it barbaric and all that.

[Locke]

Arranged marriage is only barbaric in a society that puts love as the reason for marriage. In other societies, where romantic feelings are not the foundation of a marriage, why should it be called barbaric? It would be no more barbaric than saying it is barbaric to be forced to live with your parents and siblings growing up. It is only barbaric under our definition of marriage, but just because its the same word, does not mean its the same idea.

[Faux]

That would be.. you know... logical... if.. you know... I actually named a culture in my posts

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I'm ridiculing a tradition, not any actual culture. Or is there a culture that revolves around the concept of arranged marriage?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

@Locke: so you're saying societies that employ arranged marriage don't have the meaning of 'love'? And people say I insult culture

[Grim_Jokes]

That would be.. you know... logical... if.. you know... I actually named a culture in my posts

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I'm ridiculing a tradition, not any actual culture. Or is there a culture that revolves around the concept of arranged marriage?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

@Locke: so you're saying societies that employ arranged marriage don't have the meaning of 'love'? And people say I insult culture

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

My mistake. But again, how would you feel if your traditions (which depends on your culture) were insulted by being called barbaric?

[Faux]

I wouldn't start planting C4s that's for sure.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

But yes, I'd be insulted. But if there's an actual reasoning behind it, I'm all ears. If they're in the wrong, I'll argue. But so far, everything I've gotten from pro-arranged marriage here is "just because"

[Grim_Jokes]

I wouldn't start planting C4s that's for sure.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

But yes, I'd be insulted. But if there's an actual reasoning behind it, I'm all ears. If they're in the wrong, I'll argue. But so far, everything I've gotten from pro-arranged marriage here is "just because"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Mhm, possibly because a majority, if not all, people are from places who have the same idea of marriage as you do?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This is definetly something worth talking about people who actually do it to get their insight on the matter. Maybe there's something we do not know of arranged-marriages.

[Locke]

@Locke: so you're saying societies that employ arranged marriage don't have the meaning of 'love'? And people say I insult culture

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

No, I'm not saying that at all. Where did I even come close to saying that? What I'm saying is that our definition of what marriage should be is based off of a romantic love interest that we pursue on our own - that's our culture. But other cultures view marriage differently, and just because its a similar concept, doesn't mean it's the same.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

For a culture that traditionally follows arranged marriage, marriage is NOT about pursuing an individual eros kind of love. In the same way you love your family because they are your family, not because you chose them yourself, marriage is something that is beneficial to the family and therefore beneficial to the society, and love (more of a philia love than eros, usually) just happens in the same way it does when you realize you love your family.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The problem is you are looking it from your own perspective and your own idea of marriage. To you, marriage is something you pursue when you find someone you have fallen in love with and want to spend the rest of your life with. But that is because in your culture, that is what marriage is. In a culture that follows arranged marriage, the idea of finding someone you have fallen in love with and want to be with is NOT the definition nor the purpose of marriage. Arranged marriage is barbaric if you are defining marriage under your culture's concept of it, but marriage is seen as an entirely different concept with an entirely different purpose in other cultures. It's not that there isn't love, but an eros type of love that dominates the concept of marriage is not an functioning idea in the society. It's not barbaric, it is just a different way a society sustains itself.

[Faux]

To any culture, anyone understands the notion of freedom. The ability to choose what you want. Using your definition of their marriage (which I'm sure some people would disagree as 'love' isn't something contained to one culture), it's basically slavery. It's basically the family trading off their child to ensure family ties with people of their choosing. If it's my point of view that tradition is barbaric, so be it. It doesn't make it any less of a legitimate criticism. Using the "just because it's their culture" reasoning doesn't make it any more right.

[warri0r45]

To any culture, anyone understands the notion of freedom. The ability to choose what you want. Using your definition of their marriage (which I'm sure some people would disagree as 'love' isn't something contained to one culture), it's basically slavery. It's basically the family trading off their child to ensure family ties with people of their choosing. If it's my point of view that tradition is barbaric, so be it. It doesn't make it any less of a legitimate criticism. Using the "just because it's their culture" reasoning doesn't make it any more right.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Wouldn't you agree that the parents of these people getting aranged marriages thinks is the right thing to do?

[Locke]

To any culture, anyone understands the notion of freedom. The ability to choose what you want. Using your definition of their marriage (which I'm sure some people would disagree as 'love' isn't something contained to one culture), it's basically slavery. It's basically the family trading off their child to ensure family ties with people of their choosing. If it's my point of view that tradition is barbaric, so be it. It doesn't make it any less of a legitimate criticism. Using the "just because it's their culture" reasoning doesn't make it any more right.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It's no more slavery than forcing someone to live with their family growing up. There are plenty of freedoms that you don't have because its not cultural for you to have them, and the same goes for arranged marriage. Your definition of freedom is also shaped by your culture, and everyone's definition of what constitutes "free" is different.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Even in your response you show that you are still looking at this from your culture's perspective. "The ability to choose what you want" is not a universal definition of freedom. Once again, you cannot choose your family when you are born. A person coming from a cultural tradition of arranged marriage will view family as something that is not chosen, its just what it is, and that goes for who you marry as well. Your definition of freedom requires people being allowed to choose your spouse, but where you live, a child is not allowed to leave his parents and pick new parents. He is not free in that sense, and therefore, ANY idea of family is "barbaric."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Your are still defining marriage in your own way to suit your purposes. Now you are defining freedom in your own way to suit your purposes. To you, marriage is about choosing who you want to live with - but that is YOUR cultures definition of marriage. That is what marriage is in your culture. In other cultures, marriage is like the rest of the family you are born with. You just live with it because that's the way it is. It is not about pursing an eros form of love and choosing who you want to live with, in the same way children don't get to pick which parents they want.

[Faux]

I already admitted that it's MY point of view. How does that make any less of a criticism? The fact that it's "their culture and you can't criticize it" doesn't make sense to me. Am I not allowed to make my own opinion? Maybe in THEIR sense of freedoms or rights, they don't. But fortunately (or unfortunately?) for me, I can. If a culture condones slavery, rape, murder, are you saying NO ONE outside of THAT culture can comment on it? That's a ridiculous logic.

[Locke]

I already admitted that it's MY point of view. How does that make any less of a criticism? The fact that it's "their culture and you can't criticize it" doesn't make sense to me. Am I not allowed to make my own opinion? Maybe in THEIR sense of freedoms or rights, they don't. But fortunately (or unfortunately?) for me, I can. If a culture condones slavery, [assault], murder, are you saying NO ONE outside of THAT culture can comment on it? That's a ridiculous logic.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Never did I say, "it's their culture, you can't criticize it," nor is that my point of view. My point is that you are giving your definition of marriage and applying it to theirs and trying to compare the two, but they are two different things that serve two different purposes in society.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I am also saying that your definition of freedom is inconsistent. If freedom is "being allowed to choose what you want" then you are blindly ignoring the lack of freedoms you have that would also be considered barbaric. Your definition of freedom is, in fact, limited, and happens to include "being allowed to choose a spouse," yet you fail to give any reasons as to why choosing a spouse should be considered a universal freedom. It's inconsistent to the idea that you don't suggest that not being able to choose your family is barbaric, yet not being able to choose your spouse is.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I'm not saying you can't criticize it, nor am I saying that you can't criticize other cultures just because they are different cultures. What I'm saying is that if you are going to criticize a culture for their practices, not only do you have to be consistent about it, but you also have to use logical arguments that speak to a universality of humanity.

[Faux]

Universality of humanity? This forum is a subsection of a gaming forum that has people living a majority of it in Western countries. All who posted in this thread alone live in a country that understands my meaning. To go to the depth you want me to would only appear as useless pedantry.

[Locke]

Universality of humanity? This forum is a subsection of a gaming forum that has people living a majority of it in Western countries. All who posted in this thread alone live in a country that understands my meaning. To go to the depth you want me to would only appear as useless pedantry.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sorry. I didn't realize you wanted to exclude yourself from any type of serious discussion based on the idea that you play video games. Won't make that mistake again.