Harakiri

Thats a hard one...first of all, I would try to make out with another girl...just because... I'd probably do everything girls do, and try to figure out whats so fascinating with shopping, the Jonas Brothers... There are probably other dirty things I would do...

The American media is so annoying. Tomorrow, Barrack Obama will be sworn into office. O.K, thats all good, but the media blows this whole thing up. Barrack Obama may be the first African American president, but the media treats him like a messiah. Yesterday while flipping through channels on the tele, I find the shopping channel, where they are selling things putting Obama next to huge figures like George Washington, and Thomas Jefferson. He has not even entered office yet and we are already going to put him next to some of America's best presidents? If John Mccain had won, he would not at all get as much media time as Obama. Yes he's a black man going into the presidency, but does he have to be everywhere? "What are his daughters wearing to the address?" Who cares? This was one of the biggest headlines on the Today show. "What will happen to his Black Berry?" Who cares? Post your thoughts. I'm just annoyed by how overblown this is...everywhere I look, there he is...With as many problems as we got going on in the states, theres no way he's going to be able to solve much of anything in four years...

_________ Chapter 2: The Beasts _________ The diner was a large place. Booths sat around the perimeter and large tables sat in the middle. Zach sat in one of the booths, and sipped at his coffee. A young woman came to him, carrying a menu. "Hows it doin' sugah?" She asked, straining to get the southern accent out. "Talk normally honey, it will benefit us both." Zach replied, taking the menu. "Okay. Your not from the Dunes are you?" "You know the answer." She laughed. "So what'll you have." "I have someone coming to meet me. Talk to me while I wait. Where are you from?" "The burbs of the Capital." Zach smirked. "Know where the city of fountains are?" The server smiled. "Yeah, right by the capital building." "Thats where I used to live." She gasped. "No wonder you speak the way you do...Wow...can I sit down?" Zach shook his head. "The woman is coming in right now..." Jenny carried two duffel bags over here shoulders, and set them down beside the booth as she sat across from Zach. "Coffee." She told the waitress. "Alright Jen." The waitress walked away. "So you want to go to the capital and thinking by hiding in my shadow you'll be able to get there without paying?" Her eyes grew wide. "You knew?" Zach wanted to strangle the woman. "You've got guts kid. You know who I am?" "Government." Zach laughed. "Not even close." "A bounty hunter?" "Closer." "What are you then?" Zach grunted. "Since your following me anyways, I might as well tell you." Her eyes grew wide. "What are you?" "A weapon of god." At this, she sighed. "You a priest?" Zach laughed. "Nope. I'm a weapon of god." Jenny heard nothing else as she got her coffee. While they waited for their meal, they only made eye contact twice, and the only thing Zach said was: "Your not as old as you look. Your eighteen." Jenny wanted to know what a weapon of god was. Some people called priests that, but what could he be if not a priest. He was an odd man, but he was handsome, and while he was odd and disrespectful, he still had a charm that perplexed her. He could read dust better than him, he could tell her age, and he could do it all without showing the slightest bit of care. While she was trying to get a free ticket to the Capital, she picked him because the dust had told her about his power, and that while he talked bad of her, he liked her. Then again, she apparently was not as good as she thought at reading the dust. Zach and Jenny walked out of the atmospheric stablizer, and onto the path leading through the Dunes. They each led a cyborg horse. After walking a while, they hopped on and started to gallop towards a canyon. "So, would you care to finally explain what you do?" Jenny asked as they entered the canyon. Two rock walls flanked either side of them. There was no way to escape a fight from this place. Zach noticed a shadow on a nearby rock. It was a cats shadow. "You see that canvas bag next to your right thigh?" Zach asked. "Yeah." Jenny said. "Theres a gun in there, you wanna know what job I do then hand it over." She hesitated to get it and give it to him. But then she remembered the dust, and knew he just could not kill her. The shadow moved slowly towards the two. "There is a large cat coming at us." "Where? We could see it if it were on this path. Theres nothing for it to hide behind." "I know." Zach watched the shadow come faster along the rock wall to his left. It was coming at his horses shadow. "[cabbage]!" He screamed as the cat shadow swiped, cutting off the horse shadows head. The cyborg horses head flew in the air, and Zach fell off. Jenny screamed as the shadow went for Zach's. Zach pulled a knife from his boot and stuffed it into the shadows head. "Show yourself demon!" He yelled. The knife was the shape of the cross. The cat morphed from a shadow, into a real panther. The knife protruded from its back, but it still had some fight. Jenny continued to sit there and scream. "Yeah, thanks for helping girl!" Zach screamed as the panther pounced him. Its long claws swiped at his face, and got a hit. Zachs cheek began to bleed like a river. Zach shot the cat in its stomach with his gun. "Jesus, Shadow Cats are powerful...thanks for the help..." Zach got up. "What? You could've shot that bastard instead of lying there while it swiped at you." "I had to switch bullet types. Can't kill a demon with a regular bullet. Have to use special kinds." He showed her his revolver. It had five bullets now, but each were a different color. "The one I used had Holy Water in it. These other ones carry poison, are regular bullets, or are full of explosives." "Who sells those kind of bullets?" Jenny asked. "Only the weapons of god can get these kind of bullets." She screamed at him. "WHAT THE HELL IS A WEAPON OF GOD? YOU SAID THAT DISPLAY WOULD TELL ME! IT DIDN'T!" "Your a pretty thick girl, aren't you? Most people would run away from me if they saw these bullets. Let me tell you what I do..."

I never liked Naruto much...I've never liked any of the kids animes really...they get so repetitive after a while...I remember back when every Saturday, my geeky fat arse would wake up early to watch Yu-Gi-Oh...back when I spent like two hundred bucks on the cards...Those were the days...back when I could say that crap was good, and since I was young, I had an excuse for thinking it was awesome... I started reading Vampire Hunter D and think they're pretty good. I also finished watching Samurai Champloo...thats gotta be one of my favorite animes...

I went to the gamestore, where they proudly displayed they're Pokemon Platinum boxes...I thought it was funny since it was sitting right next to Afro Samurai, and the guy I talked to said the games were "Anime for kids."

I also agree...

Just a loooong series I have been writing revolving around a government agent who specializes in odd occurences, and a woman who can read the future from dust... ______________ Chapter 1: Message in the dust ______________ Zach Archer followed the long, snaking road. The sands on either side blew into his eyes, and with every breath, it entered his throat, making him hack. He tried to pull his shirt over his mouth and nose, but it did not help. As dust enveloped him, he pushed forward faster. The town couldn't be more than a mile away, and it probably had environmental stabilizers. Knowing the Dunes of Dilar though, there was little chance the town was even populized anymore. Sandworms seemed to be killing off the populations of all little towns in the dunes. If they did not have a Corse Military base or any kind of private army, they were screwed. Zach continued running for the town. He could see it. The dust made all the buildings seem like shadows. Five minutes later, Zach fell to the ground as he entered the safety of the environmental stabilizer. It was a globe that surrounded a city or town, and kept it safe from the hazards of the outside. It could harden and keep raiders out, or could protect the town from a storm, as it was at that moment. It could not though, protect from worms, which could dig beneath the stabilizer and attack. Zach threw up. He wiped the remaining flecks from his mouth and got up. He looked around the city. Some people walked about. They wore large brimmed hats and vests. Cowboys. Zach walked by a stable where cyborg horses whinnied at him. He waved at them, and watched their photorecetors try to understand the move. "Hey, what the hell you doin'?" Four of the cowboys came at Zach, their boots kicking up dust. "These your horses?" Zach asked, waving at them. "Whats it to you? You should'n mess with out horses..." They pulled six shooters from their holsters and aimed them at Zach's head. "What'cha do to our damn horses?" Asked one of the cowboys. "Nothin'. I said hi to them." "Why you startin' stuff?" Zach only smiled. "Remember me Jack? You shot my damn horse out in the Dunes. I had to walk all the way here to kill you." "Thats how I remember you..." One of the men pulled the trigger. Zach rolled out of the way and waved again towards the horses. They whinied and ran at the cowboys, stampeding them. Some got broken legs and arms, others heads exploded under the impact. Jack laughed as one of the horses fell from one of his shots. His arm was bent in a bad position, but he was still able to get up. The men still alive groaned at his feet, clutching their broken limbs. "You bastard..." Jack tried to shoot, but Zach shot him first. Jack fell into a heap, blood pooling around his head. Zach threw his pistol to the ground. In one move he had kicked the six shooter of one of the dying men into his hand and shot Jack. Not even the best of combatants could do the move that fast, especially without the other man not noticing. Zach walked down the main street. People stared at him. The women stared longingly, and the men stared with hate. At the end of the street, a skinny woman in a purple dress was staring at the ground. Her finger drew a gentle curve in the dust, and she laughed as she heard Zach's footsteps. "I had known you were coming. The dust told me." She stood and wiped her fingers on her blouse. "My names Jenny Smit. I practice abacomancy." "My names Zach Archer. I practice nothing, because theres nothing I need to practice." "You sound like you know a lot." "Need to in my business." "And what exactly is your business?" "None of yours." "Do you have anything you can tell someone? Your secretive enough to be a government agent..." She smiled more to herself than at Zach. "Don't get any ideas..." She laughed. She bent down again and traced a path in the dust. "The dust has told me your future." Zach grunted in response. "The dust has told me you are the man who will bring the gods wrath down upon us, destroy us." "Dust blows, so do your predictions." Zach said, smirking. Jenny stood and pointed at Zach accusingly. "Why do you have to be such an [wagon]? Why can't you be nice, act like a normal human. Are you some kind of monster of the Dunes, or of any part of the land? Tell me!" Zach frowned. "I swear, women always seem to find a way to annoy me more than anyone else. I've had more productive conversations with reanimated corpses than with your gender." Jenny looked horrified. "Probably because your bad with women!" Zach shrugged. "I don't talk to women much." "Are you...gay? I mean, I know a lot of men who are..." "What if I said I am a loner. I am straight, I just don't like people clinging to me like the dust says you want to..." She gasped. "You can read it?" Zach nodded. "Its quite simple. You yourself look too far into the dust. It doesn't say anything about the gods bringing wrath upon us, it says I will kill the gods and bring wrath upon us." "And you aren't afraid or mad or anything?" She asked. "No. Why should I?" "You will bring about the destruction of us all!" "As long as it shuts you up I'll be happy." "God dammit..." She slapped him. Zach walked off towards the edge of town, not at all phased by the slap. "Its nearing the end of the day. I'm gonna get some food and some horses. If your coming, then follow along, just don't go telling the gods I'm the one who killed you. It was your foolishness. I'm warning you." "So you like me and expect me to follow because of that?" "How about I dispise you and know you'll follow me anyway because your perplexed by me." "God your good." Zach walked off, and did not even pay attention to the girl scrambling behind him. "I'll meet you at the diner on the edge of town. Just lemme pack my things." Zach continued on. There was some other reason she was following him, and he knew why. The dust had told him that he was escorting her to the capital city. She figured he worked for the government. "So I'm running a free escort service?" Zach whispered to himself.

My opinion: I never read the Twilights, but I have read quite a few books that I can say are over hyped. I read more than the average fourteen year old, and go through quite a few books a week when I have nothing better to do. One day, I started to read Eragon...Oh my god...a new story about dragons by a kid my age...aweso... Holy crap, this is a ripoff of every dragon book ever written...holy crap...this blows. Its probably only published since his parents are editors...which is [cabbage]. So if I had parents in the biz, I could publish my stories? I think it was badly written as well...he's only getting praise since "ZOMG! Fourteen year old gets published!" Another example is Harry Potter. The idea was alright I guess, but the execution was terrible. They were boring as hell. Harry went to Alchemy class (add five pages of description) then he went to dark arts... It was boring and overhyped... I do Amazon to...its good to hear opinions like yours sometimes...at least I'm not the only one who think HP blows...

That'd be cool...Douglas Adams or you wanna do another...we can do two focus's next week...

Welcome to the new Varrock Library man...its a bare and desolate plain...no ones around anymore...it's just kinda dying...

Was it released in america?

OFF TOPIC: ^^^Thats the best siggie I have ever seen...epic...

GENERAL AWESOME: PLOT: General Awesome is a man of great fame around the area known as the frontier. He has helped stop the mutant bear armies from entering the land and enslaving the people, and has earned his name. But when he is summoned to the capital to face the council of elders, he enters a world of evil. He must fight the evil bear lords as they use the powers of new nanotechnologies to fit in with humans. He must learn of his fathers deeds in the great war for the City of Dead Bodies, and he must also face the greatest enemy of the free world... Mecha Pooh Bear... Just an idea...probably not good enough...but whatever...if you want the script for the first couple, just tell me...

Volume 1 Issue 3 Another Format ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- NEWS: _______ Over the course of the past couple issues, I have been changing various things, trying to find a "comfort zone", and area that the paper can work more on. While, overall the paper has been doing pretty good, and people are supporting it, it still needs to find something to focus more on. The previous two have jumped about, taking on different subjects from Stephen King, to Japan. While the stories may be a selling point, it still does not make the reader feel excited when every week they move from something cool to something boring, to something that doesn't matter. This week, I am going to focus on authors, and writing as a whole. While their might be some specific things we look at, it will not be exactly from my interests, but from everyones interests as a whole. We are writers, and we want to read about writing! ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- WRITERS STORIES: _________________ Learning from other peoples a large part of writing. While theres a lot to gain from how people got into writing and why they do it, theres probably more to tell. Please contact me if you want to talk about your story, but if not...I'll be asking you myself... Anyways, this weeks about me so here goes... RATCHET573 I pride myself in being weird and odd. It all began in the second grade. My story for some kind of contest had to be written fast. I wrote it fast, and as such, it sucked balls. It was about the Earwax monster (an idea I got from Edd, Ed, and Eddy) and it was horrendous. It was about, of all things, the spirit of haloween... After quite a few years of not writing for the public, I found the tip it forums, where my dad bought and sold stuff, and decided to try my hand at Runescape comedies. Everyone remembers Snake and Noob, and everybody remembers how goddamn bad it was. While I wanted to touch on key parts of Runescape that sucked, I ended up with convoluted, and twisted stories that made no sense...and my writing did not help. I was not particularly good I thought, so I continued to write for the past couple years, trying to find a comfortable spot to sit, and write on. While fantasy is my main favorite, I soon learned that I liked writing westerns, and horror. My writing style has grown greatly since Snake and Noob, and I think its sharper, and a bit easier to read. I've always been disjointed though. Some stuff sounds like a cool idea, and then I get bored and move onto something else, which is probably why I have seventy five stories up here that have not gotten finished... At the moment, I am writing my first full length novel, about a guy selling his soul to Satan, science experiments gone wrong, a little girl transformed into a harpy, her brain placed in a computer, and other such things that make no sense. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- WRITING TALK: FROM MIND TO PAPER ___________________________________ As you read above, I am starting to write a full length novel, which makes this the perfect oppurtunity for me to talk about getting an idea to paper. Most authors have a myriad of ideas. Most stem from things other authors have wrote. Some stem from gaming, and television. Some stem from the real world. Ideas are a growing database. Usually though, you have just one idea you want to put down, the others are alright, but you feel are not good enough for the publics eyes. Some people expand their ideas in their head. I do this, and think up a plot before putting it to paper. Its usually a basic outline of whats going to happen, but sometimes I expand further. After this, I move to the paper, where I place the idea alongside many others I have had. Keeping a journal of ideas is never a bad idea, because someday, you may look back and say "Thats a good idea". After the idea is down, writing a plotline is the next step. It usually includes all major parts of the plot, character development, places, and all that. Most of the time, I add in extra, which is alright. When writing a story, using a giant poster board is good. When another idea comes, adding it to the plot on the board will help you understand your plot further. Thats the things I do, and they work. If you have any other ideas, then please post them below! ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- THIS IS NOT JUST A PAPER! ________________________ While some of you may think this is just one, boring guy talking about writing, then you should think again. A bunch of boring guys could be adding on to this! Help us out by sending me anything you want placed in the paper! Also, why don't you discuss down below! Until the next paper, this is the ideal spot for authors to really talk about the thing they care about, writing! Add on to articles, talk about topics covered in this paper, and also, duke it out each week with our new feature, the DEBATE QUESTION! The debate question will be posted somewhere in the paper each week, and whoever has the best argument wins a point. Everyone who wins gets their name and number of points in each paper. DEBATE QUESTION: _________________ Do the reviews for a book help in your purchase of it? Answer below and whoever has the best argument wins a point! ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- COMIC: _______ COMEDY: POEMS: ________________ Hobo: There he is sitting in the alley Apparently eating some garbage from the nearby pep rally A half eaten hot dog is on todays menu Tomorrow he will move on to another venue Has not shaved in nearly ten years Nearly has a ten foot long beard Eats banana peels, thinks there good Then he thinks that everyone should On the side of the road, asking for change From five to ten cents is his normal range Sleeps beneath some newpapers The only thing that he wears his a jersey for the Lakers Never slept with a woman before Thought he slept one time with a [bleep] Too bad he did not instead it was a man But he still enjoyed it, so sweaty he needed a fan Needs to bathe, cuz he smells like [cabbage] Everytime you tell him that he goes on a fit He throws around garbage cans and throws beer bottles And then he moves around, scratch that, he doddles More drunk than a pirate Less sex appeal than a beaver Don't tell him that or he'll get irate You'll know when his pupils begin to dilate Hippy Theres Sunny Blossom Theres Happy Rose Those hippies will never see a bossom Even if they look at those naughty books with girls in a sexy pose There Sunshine Freddy Theres Gay Pete They always wet there beddy And always have their periods on the leather seats The sit in the back of a van Taking lots of drugs Nixon wanted to hit them with a pan Wanted to hit them right in there ugly mugs Nixon was a mean man Got kicked out of office years ago Now I think he has more of a tan If he dies everyone will say "So?" Theres Smiling Bob Theres [developmentally delayed]ed Mary When I see them I want to sob They would rather take drugs than drink dairy All the hippies in the world With their afros and huge shoes I hope your discoing to the blues your songs about peace make me wanna throw up on you Too bad you wouldn't notice because your outfits look like throw up too! ANOTHER POEM: ______________ My whole life has sucked...Everyone knows. I lived my life waiting for something excting to happen. Nothing did, except for her. She came in an instant. She left just as fast. She knew me so well, I loved her so much. But she just left, after all we did. Felt like an instant, but it was actually more than two. We were together for two years. The happiest of my life. Now, I write my will, my final testament. May god save my soul... I am hanging in the attic. A noose around my neck. Do not leave me there. Burn my body so I can have no more heart attacks. My love will burn deeply. And my soul will to... How I wish she could have thought this through. Hand this poem below to her. Tell her not what happened, just that I left. I will never come back... I am in Nevada. Area 66. "My love let me talk You knew me well I now am in hell Good job [bleep] you killed me See you in hell!" Well, thats not great, but that [bleep] needs to know. When she grows up she'll probably be a hoe. I hate her now. Now she knows. I knew it from the beginning. She grew on me though like mushrooms on my feet. And before I knew it I loved her. Her lips were like the tastiest meat. She ran though, that friggin [bleep]. I hate her now forever. She moved on to a jock cuz god forbid she take a goth... So goodbye people I'll look down on you... But probably up the way I went But make sure you tell that [bleep] Its not hell but her, I resent. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- CONTRIBUTIONS GREATLY APPRECIATED! ANSWER DEBATE QUESTION! NEXT WEEKS SPOTLIGHT GOES ON DOUGLAS ADAMS!

Where have you been all my life? I've actually been living in Peoria and Tampa for all of your life... At least I know someone other than myself enoys a good ol' fashioned butt whoopin' envolving pulling someones intestines out through their throat and choking someone else with them.

Or gay. I mean, really, if he goes to all those lengths to save a princess that gives him nothing, it could only be because she's his favorite gal-pal. You could argue that this isn't true because that would make most superheros gay, but just look at Spider-Man... Yeah, but Mario had a girlfriend in the original Donkey Kong. (I think her name was paula or paulene.) She could have been a Trans...

I just got Red Faction 2 and Unreal, Unreal 2, Unreal tournament, and unreal tournament 2004. Just beat Red Faction 1, so moving on to two...

Tom Clancy's Rainbow Six (1998) Tom Clancy's Rainbow Six: Eagle Watch (1999) Tom Clancy's Rainbow Six: Rogue Spear (1999) Tom Clancy's Rainbow Six: Rogue Spear: Urban Operations (2000) Tom Clancy's Rainbow Six: Covert Operations Essentials (2000) Tom Clancy's Rainbow Six: Rogue Spear: Black Thorn (2001) Tom Clancy's Rainbow Six: Take-Down Missions in Korea (2001) Tom Clancy's Rainbow Six: Lone Wolf (2002) Tom Clancy's Rainbow Six 3 (2003) Tom Clancy's Rainbow Six 3: Raven Shield (2003) Tom Clancy's Rainbow Six: Broken Wing (2003) Tom Clancy's Rainbow Six: Urban Crisis (2003) Tom Clancy's Rainbow Six 3: Black Arrow (2004) Tom Clancy's Rainbow Six 3: Athena Sword (2004) Tom Clancy's Rainbow Six 3: Iron Wrath (2005) Tom Clancy's Rainbow Six: Lockdown (2005) Tom Clancy's Rainbow Six: Critical Hour (2006) Tom Clancy's Rainbow Six: Vegas (2006) Tom Clancy's Rainbow Six: Vegas 2 (2008) Tom Clancy's Ghost Recon (2001) Tom Clancy's Ghost Recon: Desert Siege (2003) Tom Clancy's Ghost Recon: Island Thunder (2003) Tom Clancy's Ghost Recon: Jungle Storm (2004) Tom Clancy's Ghost Recon 2 (2004) Tom Clancy's Ghost Recon 2: Summit Strike (2005) Tom Clancy's Ghost Recon: Advanced Warfighter (2006) Tom Clancy's Ghost Recon Advanced Warfighter 2 (2007) Tom Clancy's Ghost Recon 4 (2009) Tom Clancy's Splinter Cell (2002) Tom Clancy's Splinter Cell: Pandora Tomorrow (2004) Tom Clancy's Splinter Cell: Chaos Theory (2005) Tom Clancy's Splinter Cell: Essentials (2006) Tom Clancy's Splinter Cell: Double Agent (2006) Tom Clancy's Splinter Cell: Conviction (2010) Any of those?

Granted, but that means we would have to kill you... I wish the poster below me would not corrupt this wish and instead eat a sandwich...

1/10 Never seen you before...

Granted, but by doing so, you eventually get bored of never getting bored, and eat your own eyeballs. I wish that the poster below me destroy this wish

Banned for being random...I really don't know how to reply to that... :|

8/10 EDit: Damn...already did you...

Ha! I've already read the hitchhikers! (Own the first four in their original hardcover editions!). ^^^Vampires? Definately need to read Vampire Hunter D...I've lived off the books for the past couple weeks and they're really good if you want to watch an anime or read a manga, but can do neither at school...its written as if it were on of those...though the author says he hates manga and anime...

They fired Chris Jerico? After the greatest kick to the testicles ever? Anyone see Shawn Michaels get kicked in the beanbags by him and then stuffed through the TV monitor...epic... I never liked Victoria...Glad she's gone... And SGT. Slaughter was still around...isn't he like 80 years old...?