MuffinMaddy

Yeah, she would only be angry with me if I hadn't told her about it and been honest about it from the start. It was the hardest thing calling her, trying not to cry. I was like "Hi Mum" She's like "Have you got an A yet?" She didn't mean it in a pressurising way, more like an encouraging little "There's my little A grade student" line, I think like, she's really just a bit naive about how hard Chemistry actually is :P but I appreciate it all the same. But she's angry with how they treated me like a criminal, and we've written a letter which we'll proof read tomorrow, because obviously we wrote it pretty fuming, so there's bound to be grammatical mistakes here and there. I don't know what's happening, really. They said they'd send it on Friday, but I have no idea if they will even send it. Even if they do, I don't care if they check the papers because I know that I didn't cheat, so none of my answers will be similar, although the real threat is them not counting the paper. Apparently they only do that if there's no doubt there was cheating going on. But the inconsistency in the stories irks me a bit. Yeah, but a little bit of me is suspicious about every single teacher that asks me "Hi Maddy, are you alright?" I just think "What do you think....?" Like, I'm never sure if they know the story, if they don't, if they think I'm a cheater, if they don't etc, it's all just put me in a horrible nest of most likely irrational thoughts.

Apparently, quite a few members of staff are backing me. They're really upset with the whole situation, and are telling people who gossip about the situation that they believe me. Yeah, he said to his class that he'd fight for me. He went to talk to one of the people that spoke to me like that, and the guy was apparently not listening to him at all. He's head of the Year group that I'm in, and my Chem teacher told me that he wanted to beat him up, and that he's really angry with how I was treated. He thinks that potentially, some of the others did cheat, so there are risks for their exams. But the exam board doesn't talk to anybody other than the examinations officer who will write a report on the situation, even though she wasn't even present. He's not fully in the know, but he tells me any information he has, I've got the name of the invigilator now from my Chemistry teacher, even though the examinations officer tried to withhold it from me. Head of Science is completely baffled, and pretty much everyone is afraid of exams now. But I just think the heads of Sixth form are literally insane now. They must be so bored. Apparently, they interrogated a girl about buying stolen textbooks recently. She didn't even buy any, she refused them, but they caught her talking to the thief on camera, so they took her into the office. They sat her down and stood over her, taking notes and telling her that they didn't believe anything she said. But as my Chemistry teacher said, "This is what happens when you employ loons." He thinks I shouldn't blame the invigilator, as she didn't forsee this, and didn't expect us to be treated so harshly, but I have no pity whatsoever. Her report says she saw "Maddy looked at someone else's direction, but not long enough to cheat" and she never expected it to spin out of control. If that's truly the report, then what is my offence? I don't remember that at all personally but even if it was true, I have not cheated. Therefore, if she wasn't sure, she should never have written my name in the first place. I'm writing her name in the letter to the headteacher, too. Well, firstly, I'm never confessing to something I never did, because if it turns out for the worst, I was innocent of it all along. I'd hate myself a lot more if I confessed to something I was innocent for. At the end of the day, they don't really have a benefit or loss if they refused to mark my paper. Today, I got to school literally just on time, but I waited at the bus stop to be deliberately late, because I know they wait for 10 minutes at the gate towards registration time. I've never been late for pretty much all of the 7 years I've been going here. A girl who's always late saw me at the bus stop and asked if I was okay, I had to pretend I was ill because I hate triggering tears again when I think of the situation. It's a proper examination, like, not marked by teachers, by official examiners all over the country. These are the grades that count towards University, I was resitting this paper to get my grade up, as I failed this module first. My school go dramatic over anything, though. I know the risks, though, and I've always been so crazy about being perfect with things like this, so I don't get in trouble with things that actually affect my future, so to think this has happened to me, like, the person who tries to avoid this at all costs, makes me feel a little bit sick at the thought. If they want to talk to me, the thing is, they say it like, on the loudspeaker system. So it's pretty short notice. If they emailed me to talk to me at a certain appointment, I'd sure as hell get my mother in to listen to everything. I never let my mum in, so I guess this is the measure that I've resorted to. My friend tells me they can never deal with angry parents.. and believe me, my mum is livid.

As soon as they let me know that I'm all clear, according to the board, I will request that I do future exams in isolation.I will actually never talk to them again, and I can do that. I am ridiculous with the silent treatment. It makes peoples' skin crawl.

I already did though, I paid for that exam anyway, £25 to resit Chemistry Unit 2. I have worked a ridiculous amount to get that grade up, and in that paper, I did just that. I got a U the first time, the only way is up tbh. Yeah, I really am going to push because I don't want this to happen to anybody ever again. I've been through enough and I do not want anybody to experience the same. The scars are there though, every time I saw the examinations officer today, I burst into silent tears. I try to stop it, I don't like crying, but every time I saw her face or someone even said her name, I would cry. I think the heads of Sixth form are really just bored and think they're in CSI. They interrogated a number of other students for apparently conspiring to steal books from a bookshop. They really are just high on power, but this is my life. I can't let them ruin my exams like this, it's just not on. I've worked a ridiculous amount, I'm not changing my story, but the inconsistency between the stories is fishy. The other accused are very apologetic and in my statement, I've just gone on about how hard I've worked and how I'd have no motive, intention or reason to cheat. "Write down what happened." What happened? I went in in the morning to study, then I went and sat an exam. What happened, I have no idea. This is a crazy lady trying to ruin people's lives, she should not be invigilating. I'm writing a letter to the school and my mum will sign it, but we are both so furious at the people who treated me this way.

I still think this is a prank, something in me is trying to convince myself that this is just a horrible horrible joke being played on me. It's ridiculous, it's not the accusation that bothers me. The lady is a psycho, she has a history of wanting to report people, but it's more the way that it was handled that has stopped me going into school today. I won't be able to tolerate everybody looking at me like something's up. People kept coming up to me "I hear you got done for cheating?" It actually breaks my heart, you can't cheat Chemistry, at least not effectively enough to do much better than you normally would :? It's the handling of it that really infuriates me. I still don't know, to this minute what exactly it was. There was only one invigilator in the room, Ginger. And she was sitting at the front reading a novel. 9 candidates sitting the exam, how on earth could she accuse half the exam hall? She said something 'fishy' was going on. If it was more than one invigilator, then fair enough, that would be a bit more tangible a complaint, but one woman who wasn't even doing her job properly by actively watching us? And she has a history of reporting people for doing things like writing their names on the front of the exam paper after the allotted time? I really want to do all of my exams in isolation, I never want this to happen again. I know, they had hours. And to think I was dancing after the exam because I was so pleased that it was all over. I came into school at a ridiculous hour just to study alone. I have had 3 draining exams in the past three days, I was on the last leg. I woke up at 4am to read a textbook, and I answered the questions well. I was satisfied with the paper, and to have it potentially not count is one of the most terrible feelings after such hard work. I am actually questioning why I worked so hard. Why I went to extra Chemistry lessons, why I stayed up till 2am every night of the holidays to study. Why I bought all of this extra material, when it could all come to dust. They have to wait till the deputy head comes back, it just looks like my personal character isn't helping me at all. The only person supporting me is my Chemistry teacher who wants to look at the paper, but he's not allowed to. He knows how I write, he knows how the others write, they're going to look at the papers to compare similarities. I have absolutely nothing to hide, I want them to to be honest, my writing is entirely original, some of the things I write are ridiculous, but this is such a baseless accusation. Even if it comes to nothing, it's scarred me, I can't think what the other 4 are feeling right now, because they haven't even finished their exams... I wish they did, Rob...I really wish they did, but they don't. When I asked why there was only one invigilator in the room, I was told it was irrelevant. It's entirely relevant in my opinion... everything I say is dismissed by the heads of staff, I don't particularly care about that though, it's just the changing of the story at every given opportunity. I was told to change my testimony to match the exams officer's one. The exams officer was not even in the room, so how can she write a statement concerning the events of the exam? The entire situation is ridiculous. Invigilator will write something, all accused write something, apparently I get a character reference, but it's all generic... I don't believe anything anyone says apart from head of Chemistry really.

Nope. The only person who is actually actively going to defend me is my Chemistry teacher. He wants to look at my paper and the others accused to compare the answers that we've given. Luckily, no definitions were asked, so nothing at all will be identical in the exam really. But apparently, he's not allowed to look at the papers. To be perfectly honest, I'm not even entirely sure of the accusation. It changes every single time a teacher talks to me. Either "You were looking at someone else's paper" "You were looking at someone's paper but not long enough to cheat" I literally sat on the floor and cried outside the office. Things like this just make no sense to me. I'm already paranoid and I stick to rules like, to the letter. I'm so pedantic about everything, anything that's out of order, I freak out immediately anyway, I make sure I don't have any phones or iPods or any banned items in the exam hall. If I fail, I fail legitimately, I've never cheated in my life, and I never plan to either. I asked why there was only one invigilator present and I was told that my question was irrelevant, when it's actually not. Anything that goes wrong with my school, they always try to patch it up, because they have a gleaming academic record. They just bundle up issues and pretend they aren't there. A student committed suicide in because she had been bullied at my school, the first reaction was telling us not to tell the press. It's ridiculous, I'm livid at this.

I wish today had just been a terrible nightmare that just isn't real.... Basically, The invigilator of my Chemistry exam has accused me of cheating in my exam. She was the only invigilator present, and I was sitting at the back. I did nothing wrong, my ID card dropped off the table but I didn't even get it, because I know that you can't pick up anything off the floor in an exam. You raise your hand for the invigilator to get it, but I thought it'd be best for me to finish the paper and have it collected in before I get my ID Card. It's a rule that you put your ID card on the table facing upwards, and mine always falls off every exam. So when that happened, I think a girl turned around because she heard the thud. So basically I had no idea anything was even wrong until an hour later, when I was called by the head of Sixth form to his office, I was like 'Oh dear' and I thought I'd be in trouble for skipping lessons. That's fair enough as I expected it, but I knew something was serious when they closed the office door and told me to sit down. They then told me that they found it stupid that I would possibly risk my A Levels in this way, and that what happened was stupid, and how that he couldn't believe this had happened this exam season. I was all goggly eyed because I just couldn't believe what was happening... the other accused girl tried to defend herself and they were all condescending, I've never had such anger in my heart. I got up to leave, they want a statement from me, as they have to notify the exam board. They said there's a risk they could zero my paper, or all the papers I've sat this year, which is 3 papers.... an A2 Chemistry, an AS Biology and another AS Chemistry which was this morning. Where this came from I have absolutely no idea. I am absolutely distraught because I worked so hard for this. I go to extra Chemistry catchup, I stay after school pretty much daily to do work, and I have to wait up to one week for the results. I knew by the end of that exam, despite it being a difficult paper, I knew that this exam had changed my Chemistry grade for the better. I failed it the first time, so things could only get better really. I may have been one or even two grades higher, and even though there's a high chance they won't take any extra action, I can't help but feel paranoid that they'll mark it harshly, or that whenever I walk into an exam, I can't relax because I might be accused of cheating. It's another stress to add to my already worried temperament. I'm someone who's mind goes on a tangent on everything. Give me something to worry about, and I always worry. Even if this ends up being something I laugh at, going through all of this has been so terrible on me. Especially after such a good week. I was supposed to be having my birthday party this Saturday, I really am no longer in the mood. Even so, if everything turns out well, I want to do my exams in isolation, I've actually gone through too much crap today to ever let this happen again. There is just no way I would ever risk cheating, and I'm being treated as if I'm a criminal, people coming up to me "I hear you got done for cheating?".... it's like "What? Its ME. MADDY"

It's snowing here, I don't know why but my back hurts so much after walking briskly through the snow to get to my Chemistry exam... Also, I more or less achieved one of my dreams of performing a piano piece in Assembly which was nice :razz: The headteacher was pleased, that made me happy... Biology exam tomorrow, yay...

You all need help.

Thanks all :) Sorry, quotes are long... Spent today doing some of my favourite things, some organic Chemistry <3: and my class bought me 2 cakes and sang happy birthday to me, I got a bit confused and started singing, forgetting that it was for me... Then started clapping at the end and then realised 'Oops' I really don't know what to do when everyone sings it, like, are you supposed to say thanks or smile? I'm too awkward a person to be cutting cake in front of everyone. 3 Exams next week. Chemistry, Biology and more Chemistry, yay. I hope lots of organic comes up. And thanks Grade, I really was looking for that photo and my other Runescape ones but I couldn't find them, was slightly heartbroken. But that was really nice of you guys :)

Yeah, saw someone get injured at a professional show, and she's alright now but the scars are still there, and I've just always been terrified of things like that happening to me. It's a bit irrational but I don't even care at this point really. I know I should probably get help because like, I don't go out in the evenings around November because I'm just frightened that the violent thugs around here are going to throw them at me or something. They've done it to my mother and random passers by, but I did kind of 'bite the bullet' and go out one November evening for a Uni interview which paid off but really I haven't sorted out the fear at all. It's kind of impacting my life because I am really irritable and panicked at events when everyone seems to be having a good time, it's like no one sees the potential danger. My mind just distorts it all and the paranoia kicks in, and overall it's just a really bad effect on me, so I tend to stay indoors if I can.

Fireworks are my worst fear. Hate them, hate them, hate them. I wish I could get over it, but I've suffered with the fear for about 11 years. So no thanks. Thanks, Arf. Spent the day revising for Chemistry exams which are fun... (no sarcasm at all in that sentence)

Today, I am 18. I can drink, drive and vote all at the same time :)

The date hasn't even passed yet? Awks, I saw the post and I was like, Oh No, Tansy's at it again... I was actually wrong.

Sting - Englishman in New York Both of these are tunes!

Big congratulations.

It's annoying, a lot of my girlfriend's friends have been posting how well they went on facebook, and she keeps pestering me to check my results, and I have't gotten them yet. If I don't get the results I needed then it's a year of working before trying again. Exam results you mean? I'm sure you'll have done fine. I still have my final year to complete and exams to sit. To get university offers this early is good to show me what I'm actually aiming for, rather than what I've already got, which is a little bit below their requirements at the moment. So the story isn't finished yet. And then there's 4 years of a Biochemistry degree to do, so the road is going to be long, tiring and difficult. I didn't get the results I needed. 51% for Science Maths, 50% for Physics. Even with scaling up (I did a year long course in 6 months) I will be too low for my courses. Not too surprising considering a big number of the people doing it dropped out within the first month. Hell, a third of the people in the maths class were gone after the first test. Well done for sticking with it, though. And to be fair, those are hard courses :/

It's annoying, a lot of my girlfriend's friends have been posting how well they went on facebook, and she keeps pestering me to check my results, and I have't gotten them yet. If I don't get the results I needed then it's a year of working before trying again. Exam results you mean? I'm sure you'll have done fine. I still have my final year to complete and exams to sit. To get university offers this early is good to show me what I'm actually aiming for, rather than what I've already got, which is a little bit below their requirements at the moment. So the story isn't finished yet. And then there's 4 years of a Biochemistry degree to do, so the road is going to be long, tiring and difficult. In other news, I am absolutely livid. I performed at a charity gig for Sixth Form today, playing the piano "I want you back" By the Jackson 5. Right, I know this is a catchy tune, and I know that audience participation is more than likely. That is fine. But for a girl who I never talk to, is all up in everyone's faces all the time, and is a general annoyance to run up, grab the microphone and try to sing the song without knowing the lyrics; that made me absolutely furious. You don't prepare for these things do you? So I couldn't have just been like 'get the [bleep] off the stage'. I wanted to. But I didn't want to be a killjoy either or make the evening sour, it isn't part of my personality and the nature of my performances makes it look like I'm really lighthearted and fun, and to an extent, I am, but that doesn't give her an excuse to get on stage, take over my performance and ruin it, causing me to make several mistakes and overshadow it completely. I like to play tunes that get everyone in a good mood, I like performing to make people happy. I don't have to boost my profile as a musician, I hardly care, because I'm a scientist. This is my hobby and I'm sharing it with people to put them in a better mood (and raise money for charity) so though jovial I may be, I am a serious performer and do not wish to have my performances taken over again. Not everything is about you, Anonymous-drama-student! :mad: This is not the first time this has happened, maybe next time I'll give an announcement about the 'rules' during my performance and tell everyone to sit the [bleep] down. In other news, I've been sent 20 letters of praise from my crazy Chemistry teacher who went a bit mad with the 'praise' system. My Chemistry classroom now looks like Santa's Grotto, I love it.

Thank you :) Bring on Organic Chemistry :razz:

Just got an offer from the University I went to an interview last Wednesday. It is my top choice, so I'm over the moon.

Unwritten - Natasha Bedingfield

Feels like a milestone in my life, and as cheesy as it sounds, like my dreams are coming true... University interview for my first choice in just a couple of hours, they said it's going to be chillaxed and that I don't need to dress formally...

Got my first University rejection. I'm happy though, because I didn't want to go there. It sounds like an empty thing to say, but it was the 'most respected' of my 5 choices, but I hated it so much when I went to visit it. I was worried that if I was offered a place and declined it, I might be doing the wrong thing. So I'm happy they made the decision for me. Overall not too bad with the applications. 5 Responses out of 5. 2 Offers, 2 Interviews and 1 Rejection for Biochemistry in 2013.

Potentially, haven't recently installed anything but in the future I'll read through the boxes anyway.

Thanks a lot :)