MuffinMaddy

Never been below -10 in my life and I get grouchy at -3. I don't even know what I'm gonna do :uhh: :uhh: :uhh: I really didn't think about climate, but I'm still really excited because Canada was a hugely popular option for people wanting to study abroad. Mainly because a lot of people don't want to go to countries where English isn't spoken widely. For years I've wanted to go to Germany but I realised I'm just not really up for the language barrier at the moment and I picked Canada as a wildcard. Never thought I would actually end up studying there for a year, but I'm really getting used to the idea of flying out there this Summer. I love travelling but it's so expensive, I'm so grateful for this opportunity \:D/ \:D/ \:D/ No tuition fees for my year abroad either. O:)

You guys have scared me now. I feel like I need to stock up on my winter clothes. I'm flying out in late August :XD: :XD: :^_^:

How cold :uhh: :uhh: :uhh: :uhh:

Ontario :)

So excited to say that for my year abroad, I'm going to study in... [hide]Wait for it...[/hide] [hide]CANADA[/hide] :D :D :D :D :D :shades: :shades: :-D :-D :-D O:) O:) O:) O:) :-) :-) :P :P :P :lol: :P

it's just a bit sad because I've tried not to come off as that crazy insecure stereotypical gf that doesn't want females around her bf and I feel like I am that person because of the situation with this girl even though I've been rational as I can when it comes to things like this. I don't feel we're on the same page with a lot of issues but on others we mesh just fine. Am I wrong for being irritated by this friend? I don't feel threatened it's more looking like an idiot for my bfs friends disrespecting me so blatantly and him unknowingly condoning even assisting it (by ditching me for example)

Crazily long post, be warned. [hide]Patience isn't in my nature, so I'm learning everyday. The thing is I tried to word it so I didn't look like a demanding, jealous [bleep] because I'm not. I am not jealous of anybody in his life in any way. I just have strict boundaries on what's appropriate and what's not from my point of view. And even though I have these boundaries I would never ever use them to be authoritative. I really believe we're different people living different lives and I sometimes struggle to see what goes through his head. In any given situation, I know I would prioritise him over anyone other than my family really. I would think of him before me in a lot of situations and then hopefully do the best thing for us both. He is trying to help me get confidence back and he looks after me when I'm sick and when I'm not and he cares about me deeply. He does take care of me to the best of his ability. And I do rate that. However, I do sometimes feel he's not attentive when there's competition for his attention. I agree it's tough balancing two or more people talking to him at once, but I feel like if I was talking to him first, the minute there's a distraction, what I was saying becomes irrelevant, or what we were doing. But I know if his friends were talking and I came in with something to say, he would do the appropriate thing of waiting for them to finish before talking to me. I just don't know why he doesn't do it universally. Maybe it's because we're going out, so "Maddy can wait" and it's true, I can absolutely wait, but it's the principle that in general situations like that, if what we're doing is of equal importance to the distraction that a friend is providing, then I think he should finish what he was doing first. I just don't see why there's such an urgency to be attentive to everybody else but me. Finishing something with me 2 seconds longer will not impact the length or depth of discussion you will have with a friend albeit 2 seconds later than expected. He's told me he likes to please people, and I think that's where some of the problem originates. He doesn't realise that holding trivial conversations or activities off for another 5 minutes won't upset his friends and if it does, it's quite poor of anybody to hold that against anybody in my opinion. A lot of the time, nobody needs him immediately and if they did and it was an emergency I'd understand. I can't even really hold his friends responsible for distracting him because he's 20, I'd think he's mature enough and has the capacity to prioritise things when the need arises. There's a lot I could divulge but I'll only divulge a pressing issue although it's a harmless issue. I can be irrational, I'll admit. However, when it comes to my relationship I think I am a lot more rational than a fair few people that I know. So last year, there was a girl who was a friend of my boyfriend and she was lovely when I met her, slightly irritating in the sense that the first meal I cooked, she felt the need to comment "That looks like a lot of carbohydrate and fat" when I didn't ask her for that information.. However, I put my first impression behind me. I got along with her quite well although I had noticed she is quite attention seeking with boys around and that behaviour is personally a pet hate of mine; people who seemingly go out of their way for attention. One of the ways this happened was that she started ranting about how fat she felt in front of my boyfriend and his male friends on more than one occasion. Maybe she wanted reassurance but it became a thing where all the boys would say "Oh no you're not fat" not even out of politeness but out of the genuine fact that she just isn't fat. Girls are insecure right, but why would you draw attention to your weight or the topic of weight in general if you're that worried about it? She often brought up weight in random conversation like going around telling friends including my bf if they've put on or lost weight. Weight is one of my main insecurities but I don't think just because I'm insecure about it, people shouldn't talk about it. I'm just uncomfortable with it needlessly being brought up as weight is one of the things my bf laughed at about me with his friends in the first place, so it's normal for me to be a bit bristly on the topic. So after this she became weed obsessed and keen on trying weed. Again, I have no problems with people smoking weed, I just don't really like the promotion of it as "something to make you cool" if you smoke it and she asked people if they wanted to try it and people agreed, I didn't but my boyfriend did. He's his own person, this didn't bother me as he'd never tried it before. I had personal reasons for not wanting to try it with them. So they tried it and he stupidly drank cans of alcohol at the same time, had a bad reaction and threw up as I looked after him. I was uncomfortable as I was the only 'sober' person present and obviously the people who were high began laughing at me and asking if I hated them and seeing my reaction as me disliking them all. In the morning I spoke to him about the stupidity of drinking during your first time and I honestly thought I couldn't really trust him to take care of himself. I was quite frustrated in the sense that I felt that if he has no common sense with something like that, then what would he have done if I wasn't there. Everyone was too high to take care of him. He then said he wouldn't do it again, or at least not for a while. A few days later the girl asked him in front of me if he'd try it, he said no. I think she thought I was controlling him or that he was saying no because of me. She asked him again without me being there and he wavered but retained his no, saying "no I don't have money ". This gives off the impression that I was behind it when I may have had influence. My mother wasn't overly keen on the prospect of being with someone who had taken weed. Anyway I thought it was a bit underhand of the girl to ask him when she asked everybody else and people who had said no weren't asked again. Maybe she thought she could persuade him; regardless, saying no isn't weak, it's not strong either, it's nothing, it's just a decision that people should respect. You can do weed yourself, my bf doesn't need to do it with you. I hate the feeling of putting pressure on somebody.. You're friends because you get along and have fun together, not because of drugs. My bf's main concern was me coming off bristly to his friends who were high and he was more scared about the impression I gave off.... My only association with them is simply that they're his friends, I don't care how I come off to them. I have friends of my own. I am purely only in their vicinity because of him, so I don't see why his biggest concern is not that he seems to give into things too easily, or wants to "please" people, but how I come off. So anyway fast forward a little bit, I've seen this girl talk about 'pulling' guys and having competitions with her friend of how many guys she can kiss in a night. Boys do the same thing, it's not my style but I could see she enjoys male attention and actively seeks it. I'm sure it's nice to feel attractive and I understand that. Great, again, didn't bother me but there was a night out where I suppose they were tipsy and the boys in my boyfriend's friendship were daring each other to slap her bum. She's an attractive girl, everyone thought she was 'out of bounds' so I suppose that might have been the challenge to see if they could get away with it. I don't really like that kind of behaviour but I understand it's just what boys can be like. So they slapped her bum and she'd turn around not knowing who it was. Then the boys dared my boyfriend to do it, and to my absolute shock, he slapped her bum and I did take it quite badly. Yes, a moment of stupidity, but I felt as if I was grossly disrespected in that moment. He went home feeling awful that he'd upset me and I do know people who could break up with someone for that. I don't feel like he really gets punished for his stupid decisions and sometimes there are consequences for doing silly things. Anyway yeah I was pretty mad and he then told his friends about it and they made out like I was making a big deal over nothing. It's because I told him that behaviour was "disgusting" because I'm really not a fan of brash 'lad culture' and I was ashamed he treated a woman like that. Not least because he is in a relationship but generally I'm very turned off by guys with that kind of attitude. His friends said disgusting was a strong word, they must have meant I was calling the girl disgusting because I wasn't, it was the behaviour that I deemed that way. So moving forward - one of the most painful things in relation to this girl was that I was with my bf sitting outside waiting for a live band to perform that he said he was interesting and the girl and two other of his friends walked past, saw him and inevitably hugged and greeted him. The girl completely ignored my presence but the other friends did smile and say hi to me. Even though we were clearly together and by that token, occupied, she asked him to come and play pool. I wasn't actually formally asked to come so I felt a bit snubbed by the fact that not only does she ignore me but asks my boyfriend to do something else whilst he is clearly with his girlfriend and I know she doesn't do that to any of her friends that are in relationships and sitting with their partners. So I was thrown by the request, and even more upset when he did actually just go and play pool leaving me to decide whether to just sit alone or come along without feeling welcome. I then went to the pool room as I was with nobody anyway whilst he played and the girl still didn't acknowledge my presence. We may not be best friends but it is common courtesy. Another time when we were sitting in the bar doing a quiz and she was lacking in male attention at the time, she threw a drink at my boyfriend in a playful, but subtly flirty manner to get his attention. I was irked by it because I know girls, I know how girls behave. I know what flirting even if it's subtle is. I think there are boundaries, even I don't throw drinks at my boyfriend like that. There's a level of comfort you have to be at to do that and if I'm not at that level, then she sure as hell shouldn't be. She's subtle about it so people don't translate it as flirting because she's likeable but it is. Very sly and there's no intent meant by it but it still gets my attention. I don't know if she's trying to wind me up or just blissfully unaware. I am assuming nothing. I mentioned it to him without being overly overbearing and he said "Oh she just likes attention" "Oh I don't remember it happening" "You think she'd flirt in front of her boyfriend?" "Oh girls just hate girls" but what it is, is this kick out of male attention that some girls like. He's always willing to make excuses for other peoples' behaviour and paint me as the crazy irrational girlfriend which I'm not. Either way I'll never attack the girl for it, you can't control how people behave, but you can make your partner aware. I just find fighting over a man quite tacky, and it's just something I would never engage in. The girl owes me nothing, but the boy does owe me his loyalty. I think she's flirty and attention seeking because she knows she can get away with it in a group primarily of boys who don't see the behaviour for what it is because she's attractive. And that doesn't annoy me. I see straight through it. But what is annoying is the blatant disrespect towards me for no reason. If she wants my boyfriend's attention, say his name, wave at him, but you don't need to go out of your way to draw attention to yourself just because you can get away with it. Whenever I talk to him about him not being attentive he'll downplay it and say "I was only talking to a friend" or when I mentioned him ditching me to play pool he said "I'm just playing pool with friends what's the big deal". He makes me come off as if I'm jealous of his friends when that isn't the case. It's the principle, not the activity ; which is inherently harmless. He says I don't respect him but I think that he means I don't value him because I sure as hell wouldn't do these things to him. Is respecting me slapping another girl's bum in my presence? Or ditching me at the first instance when someone offers something else for you to do instead of sitting with me? He'll make excuses "Oh I'm sure she doesn't know what she's doing" just because she's a friend. I won't make excuses for my friends or other people's behaviour. Unless you're responsible for moving their jaw to saw negative things or moving their limbs to control their actions, then he shouldn't be taking responsibility for what they do. To be fair, we don't know if she does or doesn't, so I don't think it's fair to say either possibility. I've just learnt not to give people the benefit of the doubt as easily as that's the mistake I made with my bf in the first place.. There are some things that I want to make clear. I'm 99.85% sure she does not like my boyfriend in a romantic capacity. She is just attention seeking and flirty but it is more an annoyance than harmful. I am definitely not jealous because there are a lot of attractive girls who go to this university and interact with my boyfriend, including some of my friends, and including a girl he's liked before me and she has also liked him but they were flatmates and chose not to pursue a relationship and they talk quite a lot. I think she's a great person. I just don't like that this other girl is going out of her way to seek his attention (she does do it with all boys) but I'm sure she wouldn't be happy if I did the same thing with her boyfriend. I respect boundaries and when somebody is in a relationship, I make no attempt to disrespect that person's partner with my behaviour. [/hide] Not getting married for a while yet so he has years to change, as do I. There are things I could work on, like not taking things to heart so much or caring too much when only he will bear the consequences of his silly decisions in the end.

I completely understand. I have friends of my own. I've just been brought up to finish something before I do something else. Especially if the person I'm doing something for is important to me. I guess I'm just kind of focused and it's not easy to distract me. I didn't nag him I didn't even bring it up, he asked me what I was thinking so I asked if he has a concentration problem. I don't even care I just want to feel a little important. Because I would do the same for him.This one friend just talks a lot doesn't really know when to stop but he's still nice he is just a bit of a distraction even when my bf is trying to get work done he'll ask to play games or watch TV. EDIT: I don't really need replies anymore, I took it to heart too much because I know that vice versa, he would continue doing something for someone else helping me out which is the right way, I'd do the same. But it seems that when I'm supposed to be the priority, he has a lapse in focus. It is literally the principle that annoyed me more than the action. I am patient and can wait for things, but its more that I feel his friends get his attention or dedication at a finger click but I can't hold it for more than 10 mins without his mind wandering off when someone else starts talking.

Tl;dr I was annoyed that my bf seemed to lack the ability to concentrate when he was doing something for me too often than comfortably and is distracted by friends very easily

He was super drunk, I took it as a positive. But..... We got home at 2am and he was 60% sure he wasn't going to throw up, even so, I gave him a sick bag and the sick dripped through the bag onto the bedsheets and I've just put the sheets in the washer after trying to wash out the sick and ughhhh I can clean up blood, urine, give me a bodily fluid and I'll clean it but there's something about puke that makes me shudder and really not like going anywhere near it. Obviously I just suck it up and sort it out and make sure he's okay but I want to sleep now and the air really smells awful so I don't think I'll be able to yet.

Went out to a rock/punk/metal night (not my kind of music but I went because my boyfriend begged me to come) and he literally sat in a corner with me completely drunk out of his mind and whipped out his Debit card and said "This card is amazing if I could buy you eternal happiness with it, I would. When you go on your year abroad make sure you remember how much I love you"

4

Today I sent off my application to study abroad for a year. I had to choose three places and universities in order of preference and for years I had wanted to go to Germany as I've learnt German for a number of years and it would be my dream to be fluent one day... But the prospect of not only studying but having to be an effective communicator in another language was fairly fainting and after much feel deliberation I chose new Zealand as my first choice, Canada as my second preference and Germany as my final choice just so I don't fully give up on it but I need to brush up on my language skills if I end up going there.

People who are overly attention seeking and/or flirty with someone they know is in a relationship

Hi guys, haven't checked this for a while In short, everything's absolutely fine, thanks for all your help. I went into safe mode and went onto OS, then deleted the appropriate program files looking at the suspicious names and what was modified most recently that I didn't recognise. Completely fixed the problem, Internet's running great, got an active antivirus program installed, couldn't be happier. I also uninstalled Chrome and reinstalled it with a version from my USB. What happened was basically my mum must have accidentally installed some kind of malware because I haven't used this computer for months as I've been away at uni but came back to it riddled with horrible popups and I'm no expert by any stretch. Thank you for all your help, I know I came to the right place :)

Problem is close to solved :) The Internet browser is back, however, adverts still pop up annoyingly despite having adblocker as an extension. I've looked for unusual plugins in the developer but found none, and the programs have been deleted from the control panel but they still seem to be causing annoying adverts but at least the Internet is back up.

I haven't been using this computer for a fair few months as I've been away. I came home and it must have been my mum who installed it as she complained of problems using the internet. I took a look and deleted each 'advert' program from the control panel, but now I'm having trouble opening the internet and the error message I explained earlier keeps coming up. This error message has affected IE and Chrome but I don't have Mozilla so how do I install another browser without having one to use?

The problem occurs on both my browsers, Internet Explorer and Google Chrome as well.

nope

haha I wasn't sober when I wrote that :D Anyways, this seems like one of those problems that mainly exists because Maddy doesn't believe that she can do any better. If she knew that she could easily hop right into another relationship with an attractive guy, she probably wouldn't be dwelling on something like this for so long. This is why regardless of whether you're single or in a relationship, you'll be an overall happier and less-stressed person if you're confident in your dating and relationship skills :thumbup: Well see I liked this guy not because I thought he was super attractive, or had charm, he was 'average' just like I am. I'm not the hottest girl nor am I the worst looking girl out there and I'm aware of that. I've never aimed for the socially buzzing confident, (boisterous/popular) guys. I've always wanted someone fairly lowkey, like me. What hurt was probably these 'average' guys in his group dissing me as if they had the right to be so horrible. Even if they were incredibly amazing looking, I don't think anyone has the right to be so horrible about someone, and even less of a right when you're nothing special yourself... I understand that people are always rated and always will be, but the extremity was unnecessary. I stick around because even through all of the pain I feel from time to time, he still makes me happy, and I can't really question how he feels about me now. It's just his continuous association on a close level with people who brought out his horrible side grates on me.

He just says time and time again is that he didn't like me and changed his mind as he got to know me, and started to really like me. He was just afraid about looking stupid because he had already painted the picture of not being interested initially.

For me that isn't a hard question to answer. I very much think they are true, but it really really really hurts to think other people said what I already know to be true and try to ignore because they don't shape me as a person.

From time to time I get a bit down about some of the stuff my boyfriend and his friends said about me, the short version of what happened for those who don't know is that he insulted me a lot based on my appearance but we've been in a generally happy relationship since I forgave him 11 months ago. It's nearly a year on, but I feel myself get down from time to time, particularly at the fact that he's still best friends with the people he slated me with and I know they aren't saying things about me anymore... but I still get down about the words they said and I know it was ages ago, but I feel like they're still in my life and I don't want them to be. Is this selfish because they're his best mates? Another problem I'm having is he has no other friends. I've asked him to try making new friends in addition to the one he's got now (partially because everyone's going to graduate and leave him alone anyway and he'll have nobody if he doesn't - and partially because I feel unhappy that those horrible people are his only circle.) It's like if something happened with him and I needed to contact a friend of his, I'd have no choice but to go to people I dislike. And I want to like my boyfriend's friends but it's not your stereotypical case of gf doesn't like bf friends. It's because they've hurt me and I've tried to get over it but I can't remove my dislike of them. Am I being unreasonable for pleading with him to make new friends in addition to the ones I don't like currently? I, like a lot of people, already had some self esteem issues but now I just feel like I think about what upsets me a lot more since discovering what they said. How can I make myself happier? I feel myself getting very uneasy whenever he's out with them Just feels a bit like I'm the only one who got the short straw with the whole situation and the others involved have gone on as normal.

Dont eat fish or chicken right before hand, eat some bread or other carb heavy foods before & anytime you start feeling nauseous. Pace yourself with sugar heavy drinks. Learn how many consecutive shots of what you can do without feeling like your body is expanding. Drink your beer, dont chug it. All about learning your pace and what your body can handle Curious about the no fish/chicken rule which I broke as I didnt read this before I went out! Turned up late to the drinks, challenged to down wine and other horrible mixtures and my own alcohol. Silly silly silly. Went to the club lasted about 10 minutes before I got to the fire exit, stuck my head out the door and just puked and puked. At least I made it to the door but it was unpleasant, probably for my boyfriend who had to look after me and hold my hair out the way. Bouncer comes along sympathetically says I can't come back into the club and asks whether I'm alright getting a taxi home. I was fine, didn't really feel clubbing that night, guess I drank to 'enjoy' it but I got it wrong. Had to pay a fine so they could clean my vomit as well, but it wasn't all that expensive or anything. Went out this past Wednesday without eating much but was a much bigger success. Drank a better alcoholic drink and no spirits

Spontaneous drinking session/clubbing night with the university's trampolining team. Not sure about this. Last three occasions where i've drank moderate amounts of alcohol have ended up with my head in the toilet throwing up. About a month since then, fingers crossed things turn out okay.