MuffinMaddy

Banned for not copying my Runescape playing status. (I am on a temporary break for exams period)

Seriously? Men cooking shouldn't be impressive. It should be the standard. Just because it should be doesn't mean it is.... All of the men in my family can cook. I feel sorry for families who don't have a man who can cook. I'm not astounded by his cooking abilities, so I guess I didn't phrase it that effectively, but yes I do like it when men can cook. Cooking's a skill that is really useful to have, so anyone that can cook has a benefit from it. But I don't think families are really that limited if they don't have a man that can cook.

Hey guys, I just thought I'd give you the updates on my little 'issue' Basically in the past few months, the guy I like and I have become good friends and have been spending a lot of time together and generally getting to know each other. Sometimes I've felt like it's cool, I can suppress my feelings and be fine with friendship, since he initially told me he doesn't want a girlfriend right now. I've liked him for quite a while and thought I'd respect that choice of his when he told me. However, it's just a bit like I've been acting with him. Our friendship is real, definitely, but I've been trying to keep my cool around him a lot and it's worked, on the outside. When my friends and I were having a 'heart to heart' about who we find attractive, when I told them, they were all pleasantly surprised. No one would have ever suspected it. Either way, I knew the reality that I did still fancy him, and keeping it in wasn't really helping the situation. Yesterday I thought I should explain to him how I feel, not really looking for a response or anything but just sort of telling him. We won't see each other in person for a few weeks since we're on Spring break, so my friend said the best way to do it considering the circumstances would be electronically. I decided I'd text him there and then, just because I know I will back out if I waited any longer. In short, I basically said I think I've started liking him a bit more than a friend and that I hope telling him doesn't make it awkward between us and that I'm sorry I wasn't able to say it face to face. His reply: "Wow Maddy!! Oh Wow.. I'm not going to lie, you have obviously boosted up your confidence and that's pretty amazing!! WELL DONE. WOOP WOOP WOOP. Don't let this put you down, but you're a lovely girl Maddy but at the moment I'm not sure about this going further :S We can still be friends though, don't worry haha. I hope you're having a smashing Easter, and NO IT'S NOT AWKWARD IN ANY WAY SHAPE OR FORM!! XX I'll talk to you later." and he later followed it up with a text saying "Hahaha don't worry, I'm glad you let it out because that would have bugged you for ages. But yeah, thanks for letting me know and remember it's always best to say anything to me rather than keeping it a secret. It's not awkward at all." I wasn't expecting him to say yes either, but I'm not sure whether this is an overall positive experience or a negative one. In some ways, it's like I've overcome my fear of 'rejection' and I've been able to express how I feel to someone I've been hiding from. Deep down I'm happy though, that we can still be friends because he's helped me a lot with my general confidence, and he's just someone I can talk to.

Dianna Agron from Glee, I think she's really sort of 'standard' pretty, but pretty nevertheless. Yvonne Strahovski (Sarah) from Chuck, always a winner. But personally, nothing beats Donal Skehan right now. Just DAYUM. A man who can cook. Wow. But an Irish man who can cook. WOW. I watched a cooking programme with him on it months ago and I still cannot get over that smile.

As you already know, I can't attend because of my exams and things, but a massive congratulations to you! 99 Prayer is one of the most awesome 99s, as is farming. Well done.

Paranoid: Moderate Schizoid: Moderate Schizotypal: Moderate Antisocial: Moderate Borderline: Low Histrionic: Low Narcissistic: Low Avoidant: High Dependent: Moderate Obsessive-Compulsive: High

HOW PRO!

Seconded, that is an amazing feeling

And it's a game where you pop bubbles to advance to the next level, Ezeei. Hardly more entertaining than good old RS but it's a change of scenery.

This thread again! Bubble struggle is a good game if y'all wanna give it a go

Television shows like the Secret Millionaire and where people are making a difference in the world to help other people, it just reminds me that there still are good people around, even when everything around me just seems to suck. I also smile when I'm talking to someone I like, and when I'm thinking about hilarious moments in my more recent memories. Oh, one more thing, also when I hear innuendos

It depends on the embarrassment for me, I really don't like to be the centre of attention in public or at Sixth Form so if it's like a huge embarrassment that everyone's talking about, I'd find it hard to laugh it off (personally), especially since I've done so well staying in the shadows and not causing any reason for people to widely talk about me or anything. I can laugh off 'embarrassment' if it's just among friends, but I still don't know Oliver to that close level yet. I already flirt, but it's probably not obvious enough since he hasn't seen me often with everyone else and doesn't know how I act normally, but anyone who knows me well would probably realise I'm making a bit of an extra effort here. I can wait a little while before pushing it further.

So you have a text 'conversation' once a week, and you unintentionally see each other 'a lot'. So basically both of you are doing the bolded part. In my opinion, that is nowhere near enough to get to know someone. I assume you're hoping you'll get to know each other better, and you of course want him to initiate conversations more. However, from what I can tell, you're giving nothing to him that makes it seem like you're interested in him. I send texts asking how people are regularly, and they aren't to people I even particularly like. From what I can see, it's failing on both sides. He wont try and make any sort of move, because he thinks you're not interested. You don't spend much time together, you don't learn about each other (besides how you've been that week) etc. I'm not suggesting that you should make any signs obvious, but you want him to be attracted to you, and he doesn't seem to think of you at any stage past 'friend'. Either you're going to have to step up and get him to match, or just be as content as you are now and move onto someone else. That's just my perspective of things. Maybe I'm too cynical. No, no, what you're saying makes sense, I just have no sort of experience or background with that kind of thing. I'm scared of being pushy or annoying. I see all kinds of girls flirt with him, and he's complained to me about it, but he never seems to do anything or show any signs that he's uncomfortable with it. I guess I probably need more confidence because I shy away from most contact with him, for fear of either embarrassing myself or simply because I'm just too scared to for some reason. We do talk a lot more when we're actually with each other for a good amount of time in real life and we have really good conversations, but that's when there are few people around or it's just us, and that only happens once a week (when we meet up to work). Otherwise we don't spend much time together for practical reasons, he has some lessons out of school, we aren't in any classes together, and we also spend our free time in different places. A lot of our conversations are motivational, in the sense that he tries to encourage me to take up things that I usually wouldn't to improve my confidence, like singing. He persuaded me to come to choir with him on Thursdays. Anyway I agree with your last few sentences, I doubt I'll want to move onto anyone else at this precise moment in time but I also wouldn't be utterly depressed if he himself found someone else, but it'd feel a bit like I missed out and had a chance to move things forward. Either way, thanks.

No, he hasn't initiated a text conversation with me, but in real life he's started conversations with me, asked me how I am, if everything's okay etc. I would for now do it once a week but if he makes no more advances soonish walk away. And it's quite hard since I bump into him unintentionally a lot, but once a week seems alright for me, but one thing that helps me realise he's interested in the things I say, or at least, he remembers them and clearly tries to find things we have in common to talk about. If he didn't like me (at least as a friend) surely he'd try to avoid me at least, or make things a bit clearer? Why pretend to like someone when it's much less hassle to just steer clear of them or limit your contact with that person?

There is no definitive answer it is all down to what is natural to the individual relationship. With your conversation that lasts around 5 text does it end because you run out of things to say or are you to scared to reveal too much now? If you have more things to say just talk to him more but introduce it gradually. Don't suddenly go full out trying to make conversation for hours, just gradually build it up over a period of time so it looks more natural and less forced and artificial. People are always going to assume things if they see or hear about you talking to him, it always comes with this sort of thing and there is no avoiding it. Well it just ends sort of naturally, like he'll text "Have an amazing half term babe" and I'll reply "You too! Happy revising" or something, and then it's just sort of.. there isn't really any need to continue the conversation. Lets not forget it costs money to text when you don't have free texts :P We're just on friendship terms so it's very neutral, just like "Hows the week going?" and "Really good thanks", it's more flirty or suggestive when it's face to face, but we don't often see each other face to face other than when we're working on Music after school or the rare occasion that he'll sit at my lunch table. I am probably partly to blame since I am a shy person in real life. My friend even suggested that I say hi to him in the cafeteria, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. Another thing is that I'm always initiating the text conversations, so I just want to know how regularly I should just post a "how's it going?" because I don't want to get annoying either. I have no experience with this kind of thing since guys have always approached me and this is me playing more of an active role.

Just a small question, How much is too much? Like contact wise, I generally have conversations with Oliver (the guy I like) by texting like once a week and our conversations are like 5 texts long, just general questions like "How has your week been going?" Is what we chat about, and we occasionally facebook chat eachother, but how much is too much contact? I don't really want him to suspect that I'm treating him any differently, or others to find out that I like him unless I tell them, I want to spend more time as a normal friend to him so I can find out more about his character and personality etc before I follow everything through. Thanks

Really nice, congratulations Tric.

For now, I agree with you, but I would be okay with friend zoning if he really doesn't want a girlfriend right now. The worst thing would be to put him under pressure to pick someone now, since it's not really compulsary to have a girlfriend/boyfriend at this stage. I think slow and steady would be a good idea, I guess I have to wait, since I don't want to rush anything either. But the simple answer to your intial question is yes, I would like to be his girlfriend, if he was to ask me out, although I wouldn't be upset or disappointed if that never happened, since even talking to him on a friendship basis was pretty surreal to me when it started. I never expected to talk to him, let alone become friends or get his number.

It's still a rumour however that he apparently did sleep with a girl while she had a boyfriend, but at the same time, she flirts with anything that moves. It could easily be something she made up because she clearly likes him too. He has directly told me that he doesn't like how flirtatious she is though, and he seems genuinely uncomfortable with it, even though he doesn't express it directly to her. I will probably talk to him about it more regularly, but I don't want it to look like I have a huge problem with it, because for now we are just friends, and as a friend, it shouldn't really bother me too much unless I felt something else (which I do, but he doesn't know that). EDIT: And whenever I feel like I can get over him or be okay with him living his life and me just being a friend, or an observer, I see him again and like him as if I had never seen him before >.<

Yeah, he mostly told me that he made out with girls while drunk and at parties, and he kissed two other girls I know as a 'joke'. Personally, I don't actually mind or care about all of that, the thing that bugs me more is whether he slept with another girl while she was still in a relationship. That would probably be the thing that would deter me from him most of all. It just shows a lack of principles for me. I would not flirt with another girl's boyfriend or try to steal him for myself. I just find that wrong for me to do, and while others would possibly disagree with me on this, it's just a moral I have, which is why I made sure he was single before I went any further down that route. It may well be the reason why I didn't admit it to Mary then, I probably won't know exactly why I didn't admit it, but if they were to date, I wouldn't be jealous but I would rather not have Mary feeling guilty for dating him while she knew that I liked him too.

You make good points and there's part of me that agrees with most of what you're saying. However I don't think I would ever completely walk away, I think I could be fine with not ever going out with him and keeping the entire thing a little 'crush' that I once had over him. I guess we'll just have to see how things pan out. Thanks everyone for the advice, I was scared at first to post here :P

That's cool too, I guess I'll chill about it to be honest, I can take the friendship zone too, it's just that I've played "the good friend" part a lot and let others take the ones I like.

Seventeen

In reply to Skeptic: Okay, so Mary and I both like the same guy. Mary has better access to him since she's in his Music class, and they became friends earlier than when I became friends with him. I've known Mary about 3 years now and we've always liked the same guys. In about October, since girls like to tell each other a lot of 'personal' things, we're joking around (Mary and I) and prod each other about who we 'fancy'. And she tells me she likes the guy I like. I'll call him "Oliver". And when she told me, I decided to say that I didn't like anyone, when in fact I like Oliver too, and I liked him since the second day of school. Except I didn't have a reason to talk to him or get to know him because I wasn't in any of his classes, and we aren't in the same social group either. He's very confident, and in the typical 'popular' group, but he's a very nice person. So Mary and Oliver are generally flirty until she randomly took 2 months off school. No one had heard from her or anything, but apparently she's suffering from depression. Oliver cares about her since he sometimes asks me where she is, and I feel bad because I really don't know. So Mary is basically one of the reasons I'm cautious about possibly getting with Oliver. EDIT: "Have you told "Mary" about your situation? From experience it is always best telling the friend who has the same feelings for a guy/girl first as it saves the [bleep]iness and arguments later when they will ultimately find out and feel completely betrayed by you. He also seems trouble and from what you said he won't be loyal or decent or honourable in a relationship (yes, I'm assuming a lot from pure text but tell tale signs.) He's one of those guys not built for a relationship, he will just fiddle girls around. " No, I haven't spoken to Mary since her birthday in December when I simply texted her a small 'happy birthday' message. I don't feel that this would be the right time to break it to her that I like the same guy that she does. I don't see Mary and I arguing, but you're right about the feelings of betrayal, because I would feel the same if the situation was twisted around. And you might be right about him being trouble, because he appears honest, but sometimes there are holes in his stories and things that I don't fully believe or trust, but I do still think he's a really nice guy. We don't really acknowledge each other in public, it's weird. But he does notice me because when we actually meet up after school or whenever, he does mention little things like "You were laughing a lot today" or just random parts of my day that I didn't expect him to notice. I'm sure I could get over him, but it's just as if I like him all over again when he walks into the cafeteria or comes to a choir rehearsal. It's like back to square one.

Ive never posted here before, but since Im not really playing Runescape anymore I cant exactly offload all of my feelings onto my clan anymore. [hide] But basically, my story is, there is a guy I have fancied since September at school, immediately I saw him I had a double take and was like Wow, whos that? But, being a shy person in real life, I had no actual reason to talk to him, since I wasnt in any of his classes, and basically had no method of talking to him. For the induction days, we were put into groups and my friend got to meet him, and found out hes really nice. Another of my friends is in his music class and she told me that she likes him. (Ill call her Mary for the purpose of the story) At the time, I knew I liked him too but I didnt tell Mary my friend that, and I wouldnt have minded her going for him. One day after school, I decided to go to the music room with Mary who likes him to work on our music work. When I arrived, he was there and we were both essentially competing for the attention Mary, whos so talented at music and offered to help us both out. He looked like he really liked her, and we got into a conversation with Mary her introducing me us to him. I pretended I had never known of him before and introduced myself and we had the normal conversation of What subjects do you do? and What school did you go to before you came here? etc etc. All was nice. And then my initial friend who liked him went into a downhill spiral of serious depression and she has not been attending school for two months. Were not sure if she will be coming back to school, or whether she has to repeat the year again. In the meantime, a girl who knew him before he started coming to our school has been overly flirtatious with him, even when Mary was still here. Mary did express a bit of annoyance with this. Now the girl has got a boyfriend and rumours state that she apparently slept with the guy Mary and I like. But here is where I come in: About a month ago, I went to do my coursework by myself after school, and by complete mistake, I walked into a room where he was working, with another girl. I decided to sit down and work there anyway, even though Im generally shy and dont like intruding on other people in conversation. The conversation somehow turned into a discussion about Mary and where she has been all this time. The guy then addressed me You knew Mary didnt you? and then I got involved in the conversation. Ever since, the guy and I have been meeting regularly to do coursework together and I still fancy him. We have become good friends, and he is flirty with me, but Im wary of this since he has a flirty personality in general. He is clearly interested in me as a person since he seems to want to spend more time with me, he seems genuinely upset that I have little self confidence and he remembers a lot of what I say. When we discuss relationships however he says hes never had a girlfriend and is worried about it being expensive to maintain a relationship. He admits hes made out with girls but doesnt fancy anyone at school, so Im not sure if I should push anything further. So far we just text each other regularly, and he tries to motivate me to join the clubs hes in such as choir or running club. Hes always smiling when we talk and we joke a lot too. Sometimes I really feel like I fancy him, and other times I am fine with just being friends. What Im unsure of is whether I should go for him or just keep it a friendship, since Im aware that Mary likes him anyway? And if Mary should come back and Im dating him, that might make her condition worse. [/hide]