obfuscator

Do they not feel a need? Or are they just scared to? Would they reject someone else who tried to start something with them? Would asexual people reject close friendship? Because a romantic relationship is essentially a close friendship with a sexual element. What is interest in sexual or romantic relationships? Romantic relationships are either sexual relationships, or emotional relationships with a sexual element. As we've already established, some asexuals do have sexual urges. Presumably asexuals have urges for personal relationships as well, even if they aren't sexual. I have no idea what asexual people think, I'm not asexual. But the definitions I've seen so far strike me as somewhat logically inconsistent. The FAQ seems kind of self-defeating: since sexuality is so fluid, why bother with a label at all? As for the confusion: I don't think so. Celibacy is when someone has desire but chooses not to act on it. What I'm wondering is whether there are people who ended up in relationships, later to realize they didn't have any desire for sexual or romantic attraction...not necessarily people who made a conscious choice to control their impulses. I apologize if I'm coming across as overly combative. I'm just trying to understand something that I have difficulty making sense of....

The FAQ answers it. That seems like a fairly weak explanation - kind of like saying "I don't want to actually win the lottery, I just want to imagine doing so". Fantasies are almost always based on a desired reality, not just fantasizing for the sake of fantasizing. It also is interesting that most of the asexual people I've come across have never experienced any kind of close sexual or otherwise romantic relationship. I wonder if to a certain extent there's a feeling of "well, since it hasn't happened for me, I guess I just don't want it". I also wonder if there are many asexuals who have been in healthy, fulfilling, sexual or romantic relationships who have become asexual afterwards?

If some asexual people masturbate, what do they think about/watch while doing so?

that's the problem with sharing too much stuff with friends as well. they're much less likely to understand that people can make mistakes... at the same time, what he said is worrying. what's also worrying is you felt the need to snoop. Hopefully you learned your lesson - relationships are nothing without trust. I'll agree with what muggi said about the friends - do your best to be polite and kind to them, but if you don't like them, don't force yourself to hang out with them. just accept that he likes them and leave it at that

Yep. If you're used to having sex with multiple women, i find it very hard to believe you'll be content with a long term monogamous relationship.

I am always down for some censor relaxation.

It's not actually for free, if you get out of the military before the mandatory period that comes with RMC ends, you still have to pay for your classes. And the mandatory period is 10 years. Both my brothers went through RMC. That 10 years include the years you're at the RMC. Yeah thats what i meant, free if you finish your army time. And 5 years after graduating isnt bad at all, especially since minimum salaries for commissioned officers are like 50k a year

@bonez: if youre canadian and like the military, don't forget about RMC. You can get a degree for free, and get paid for serving at the same time. I'm sure they have some kind of medical program as well for military doctors. Biggest risk is the mandatory service period but i think it's only 3-5 years so totally manageable.

I stopped using the site when i realized there were, in fact, no fish.

how did she take it? Did she basically say what we'd suspected, that she wasn't into it anymore? I drove her home. I said, "I think we're done together," and she just said, "Really? Alright..." and then she got out of the car. yeah...well i think that clearly indicates that she wasn't into it. Sucks man, but you did the right thing, for both of you

how did she take it? Did she basically say what we'd suspected, that she wasn't into it anymore?

nice to hear, but unless she makes an effort to change her attitude, the relationship is ending whether you/her want to admit it or not. not trying to be a dick. but it's really easy to keep going on and on like this, making excuses, when the reality isn't changing. just be aware that nice words need to be followed up by firm actions.

Yep looks like that relationship is on its last legs. Just talk to her about it

Given that there isn't any administratively-sanctioned place to disagree with staff appointments it seems this is as good a place as any.

Yep. By the same token, I wouldn't date a woman who wasn't pro-life; on the risk that she'd become pregnant and choose to abort my child. You know as well as I do how much legal control a man has over his unborn child...both in terms of acquiring or avoiding an abortion.

Perhaps it's just BD's POV then. He certainly makes in plain in that post that he assumes every woman is crazy and manipulative... Well, I'm pro-life, so abortion is absolutely out of the question for me in any situation. Even besides that - I think the attitude of essentially disowning a woman because she decides to keep a child is immature and quite cruel. It seems to me that the best way to avoid pregnancy is not to have sex until you're ready to have a child. Then again, I'm single at the moment so that's easier for me than for other people. And of course, if your expressed objective from your relationships is to have sex without having children then that's not a suitable solution.

Of course you should openly discuss critical topics in a relationship - if you can do that (as you should be able to in a healthy relationship, monogamous or otherwise), these kinds of things won't be an issue. It's only really your attitude that will affect trust - if you're like BD and assume that every woman is basically crazy and manipulative, then your relationship will suffer, regardless of how you act. However, if your relationship is more trivial, it's less of an issue.

That's a pessimistic way of viewing it. I view it the same way as putting on my seat belt whilst driving and keeping a spare tire in my trunk. I don't do those things out of distrust; I do it so I'm prepared for the worst in case the shit ever hits the fan. then again, you can't fairly equate human relationships to driving a car. But if you're not going for long term monogamy and it's really only for the sex the quality of the relationship isn't relevant in the same way

Or maybe she's so in love "checking her schedule" involves drawing little hearts with "omar" inside of them in every day of the year

Hard work but worth the experience. Give it a shot

Go, and spend the night hitting on other women

people are emotional creatures, not logical ones. not everyone is fortunate enough to be brought up in an environment that emphasizes logical decisions over emotional ones, so for a lot of people they've never really considered trying what you're suggesting. And since it's completely foreign to them, it seems insurmountable. My experience is that you can change people, but it takes a long time - persistent effort and baby steps.

kings win the cup. about as good an argument for advanced stats as there could be

Getting bored and moving on can happen just as easily outside a relationship as it can inside