Ezkaton

Mod Jane: "So be sure to log in" Well... Based on the previous weeks/updates, most of us will *try*. Dunno how many will succeed! Mod Chris L (his haircut looks freaking awful... Had to do a double take to make sure the video and my eyes were right): "The NIS offers great flexibility and I'm really looking forward to see what people do with it in combat encounters" Erm... How on earth does the interface affect combat... In any single way... At all... But Mod Moltare is, as always, the best <3:

I go through phases of playing... It mostly boils down to if I'm bored of my Xbox/life/essay work.

I think you guys might actually be right... It's just hard to admit that when there's strong feelings involved. At any rate, I perhaps made the mistake of opting to send that message today and am just waiting now to see if she sees or even replies to it... Then again, my mind is fuzzy at the moment. Y'know, I expected to be hit hard by this, because I've fought so hard against friends and my mum, most of whom have warned me about her and said she was bad news, but I didn't expect to be hit this hard... I feel so pathetic as I've actually been sick several times, I haven't been able to stomach anything since yesterday AND I've had about an hour or 2s sleep as I haven't been able to keep her off my mind even when asleep. It's absolutely dire and stupid for a 22 year old to be feeling this way over a possible break up :S Anyways, those friends who warned me off her still support me and say that I should be the one to end it. But, I feel if there's a chance to save it I'd want to do that... Dan was right when he texted me this morning that it seems as if the swap from constant to LDR is toxic for relationships. My mind is just all over the place atm >.< And yeah Constrictor... That's what I'm afraid will happen. Because I'm positive that Rob (our mutual close friend) will pull his strings to work things out - he said as much to me on FB... That if Becca makes the mistake, he will get us sat around a table to chat again.

So development with my girlfriend... I'd left her be for a while, due to holiday and essentially, she sent me a message on Friday apologising for being so snappy to me and described me as "a hassle I don't need right now", but she still loved me. And now, one of my closest friends has been chatting to her (I trust him) and been quoting from the conversation he had this morning, essentially saying that she might want to break up with me, but she doesn't know. Crux of the matter is that she feels shackled to me and she wants to flirt an [bleep] whilst she's at home. Essentially, he realised (and made her realise) that she's happy with me, and she cares and loves me and finds me fun... She adores spending time with me at uni, and enjoys living with me and being in my company. And so, as part of her nature she wants to be with that person or have at least someone there. As she lives 4 hours from me I've not been there 24/7 understandably, and so her brain's been saying to her to try and find someone at home to be with. This is the excerpt: Rob: Because it sounds like when you're with him you're happy, yet when you're home you just want to enjoy yourself instead of feeling like your cooped up when he's not even there. Becca: That could be exactly it. I feel shit as literally 14 days ago she was still saying she loved me and missed me, and we were sexting and organising me visiting. Essentially this proves right at least 10+ people who have said that she was trouble right from the get-go in my mind... I just feel like shite, I mean... What on earth can I do? If I visit her, I'm sure we can sort things, she'll have her fix and probably just about last another month and half without me, by which time we'll be back in Lampeter. However, I feel that if I approach her or something it might "push her over the edge" and she'll just react and say "[bleep] it all" and break up with me. What do you guys think? Also Rob advised to leave it for a day or 2... And then send her a text or FB message saying: "Heya... Look... I don't wana burden you with more than you have going on this summer, as I know it's a lot and you haven't really had a break... But... I wanted you to know that I've stepped up to my mum and got her to back off on wanting to call your parents. It was just so silly she wanted to do that. Anyways just messaging to see when you're free and if the 1st-6th is still good for you and pencilled into your diary? I'm sorry if it feels like I was or am hassling you too much (especially about visiting)! It's a bad part of me, and I just miss you... Anyways! Hope this weather isn't giving you too much first aiding to do, or killing you slowly (maybe quickly...) via hayfever! Hell I even had to get antihistamines to get by! How is it down there at the moment anyways? How's Binkerton? Anyways talk to you when you're free, alright? Love you smelly :P xxxx" But yeah, halp?

It's bad that I imagine Ambler to be like a drug addict going cold turkey when he's away from scape for too long? I wonder if he gets the shakes too...

Is Bandos still momentumable then? :S I wanted to try it then they did that thing with Books and Wands etc, and I didn't know what to do any more. Also you said 13.2m for Tectonic helm... Whut, how much is Tectonic now? :o

So I went off on holiday for a week :) Lovely time down the coast with my parents in a nice Welsh place called Borth. Plus it was sunny ALL the time, and overbearingly hot... And I got sunburnt - vests cover nothing! Yay for sore shoulders... Updates: Girlfriend issues, loneliness, nothingness, new attitude, and needing more sleep. Also I've been a bit... Lyricy, uploading some stuff I've come up with onto this: http://libertherme.deviantart.com/ Take a look and feedback etc? In terms of RS, Livid has kinda killed my will... That and it's barely playable currently. My laptop has always struggled with RS, but never this bad. Hell, it can still play Civ5 and some other good spec games from Steam with ease... So idk what's up with Rune. But anyways I loved this quest:

Since I came back home on Friday off my holiday I've had so much trouble logging in and playing RS. FPS issues, you name it. My laptop has been laggy since about 6 months into owning it (it's almost 4 years old now...), and I've rebooted it several times over the years and had it sent off and "fixed" etc. But never in all my time playing RS has it ever been this bad. Like... It's even a job to log in a do ports nowadays. I sincerely have no idea what's up. It was working well with my normal average ~10FPS on the lowest settings I could muster on Sunday. Laptop had been switched off for the 4 days of holiday, then I come back and boom. Often taking 5-10 seconds between each action for anything to happen... Even typing messages. Anyone else been having major problems with RS since the update?

A clock tower frozen in time? How very meta. Just makes me think now of Avantasia's new album... The Mystery of Time.

Direct from Jagex CCTV!

I've just been catching up on a weeks worth of stuff and this actually looks rather worthwhile. I'm even excited for divination again, after the past few months of waiting and constant disappointment. I'm interested to see how they make this content and how it works, especially with the analogy of two islands, and choosing kings etc being entirely up to us. But unfortunately Kim, I think you're ultimately right at the end. It will take 5 years + for ALL of this content to come to a head and be released. Just thinking about the scale of it. Every God, every opportunity, just every single little thing has to be accounted for by the end of it. It all requires different scripts and the like that all have to be written. For example: Hypothetical example: Battle of Lumbridge type scenario. The aftermath of the battle gives the player 3/4 options which in itself has a certain consequence which is available to all, no matter what God you chose: 1: Zamorakian Demon - Killing the Duke. 2: Zarosian Mahjarrat - Letting the Duke go. 3: Saradominist - Keeping the Duke in? 4. Serenist Elf - Keeps the Duke prisoner. 5. Godless - Free's the Duke and takes Lumbridge castle for themselves. So you are a Zarosian, and you choose what you want from those options. That *should* (if Osborne is right) have implications for you. Future reference to the battle from Zarosians will comment on how you let the Godless in and the Duke is free. Or how Zamorakian demon killed the Duke and you let "the enemy" take a foothold in the God you're supposed to support territory. Unless most of it is written now, and unless they give us very finite distinct options - ie. Let's trim the above down to three: Duke keeps his seat, is freed, or is taken prisoner/killed - that Jagex may have bitten off a lot more than they can chew. If it's the former I have a feeling a lot of player choices will be retconned, like most of the lore has been time and again, just so it fits. Also I'm massively disappointed about the quests side of it. Sure new quests are good. Sure they want people to play them. But seriously, they're making it so that "Grandmaster" level quests require basically the medium/master type levels. It's a nice thought really, Jagex had kinda shot themselves in the foot with DG when they said there'd be a 120 finale - when, even 3 years after it's creation there's only ~8000 players with 120. But what was said will mean that Grandmasters will be grandmaster no more. Which makes me feel that epic things like WGS, NR, RotM, and VSB wont really happen again for a long long while. Sure high levels haven't truly been forgotten, with a load of other content afterwards for us. And whilst yes, it is arguable that we even get a better deal what with having "extra content" for once we finished a quest, but will we ever see the like of the boss battles, or anything from those previous GM quests?

Hot damn Saq! I'm sorry... Just realised the monumental derp and misread I had this morning. (Holiday/sea air has made my brain go fuzzy I guess!!!)

EDIT: Massive misread on my part! D:

Yeah it was Dan. He was the first person I know who ever had Dbone infinity. Everyone else went off that then when they realised it was good fashionscape, specially with Ragefires and his Comp colourscheme.

Been out all day today... IT'S TOO DAMN HOT... AND [bleep] OFF HAYFEVER!!! Anyways, Oblivion glitched out and I ended up stuck in a rock... Just shy of getting to Martin. So GF a fair bit of game play (to me that is). Back to Skyrim!

Yeah I think perhaps you are right there. It's strange. I can cope on my own, alone extremely well. Especially when single... I could quite frankly have happily been a hermit in my past life. Perhaps too well some of my friends would say. Yet also, there are some people who I become very attached to (Dan and Kie are two prime examples). I do agree as well, that of course she isn't the same person. I just have a fear that maybe I'll push that relationship in the same direction or whatever. Or it may just steer there itself. I think it's the being ignored that's the "insecurity". It makes me feel insecure in my relationship. I place such a large premium on the words and actions of what I say and do. Sleeping with her and saying I love her hold MASSIVE meanings for me (the former much more than the latter... Sex is something I have to make sure I'm ready for with my whole heart) -it's rather bad that I expect others to be serious when they say it back too. Of course, I can jest, easily - I tell Kie and Dan I love them on a weekly basis, but these guys have basically been like brothers to me for the past few years (God help them...). I'm just worried she may lose interest in me, or her not talking to me might be like her doing a Kat. I know you said she's a different person, but in a way I like to have contact with the person I like, even if it would be a text once a week saying "hey I'm still alive, miss you x". And tbh... Another thing is I've told her I need her home phone number. How hard is it to just open a text and type 01387 368123 (random number btw... No idea who/what/where you'd call if you tried it!) into the phone and click send? It's not, it's a 2 second absent minded job in reality. I could quite easily just open a text on my phone and send Cannon/Kie or whoever might need it my home or even mobile number without so much as glancing at the screen. Thinking like that makes me feel lonely. I feel as if I'm not even worth 2 seconds of time, say just before she goes to bed or in the morning, or whenever to say "Here's my number, see you soon" or something. So yeah, lonely and worthless. Why should I put in effort with my parents (who already don't like her) in order to try and get them to give me enough money so I can go and visit her for a few days, when she wont put in the effort to just send a text? A relationship is a two way system of give and take. Putting the above few sentences about worthlessness and effort into another context - it will cost me £63.50 with the cheapest fares in order for me to catch the train from Hereford to where she lives. I will have to put up with four hours forty one minutes of travel time and change trains at Newport, Reading and Guildford before finally getting to where she lives. Also in order to get the cheapest fares I will more than likely have to catch the train at either 8am or 2pm - the former being the most convenient for her. Of course, I then get the benefit of being with her for a few days, before having to repeat that 4 hour 41 minute journey all the way back home. But, on top of that, being a polite guest I insist on buying something nice for the parents (I've done it for other friends), AND she's told me all about how we can travel into London (more money) and go to different museums (more money) and more. It costs 10p on my pay as you go phone to send a text... Or on my smartphone 5000 texts come as part of the contract. And quite frankly, looking at it that way I'll be spending ~£150 maybe, maybe less, maybe more, on a trip to someone who can't even bother to spend a few seconds sending a 10p text. Also there's stupid shit like just now. As I said, I text her a couple of times, and left her a voicemail the other day. Just now (literally 5 mins ago) I've gotten a shitty facebook message saying: "Dude you do realize in the last week I've done a band day, put on a show and I've gone away to Ipswitch helping out with karting (sitting in a field right now)... not had much time to get my head around things..." Now if she can write all of that, surely she can send a [bleep]ing text or message with 11 [bleep]ing digits in it? And so now worthless and loneliness is compounded and I also feel angry. No of course I don't know any of that, because she doesn't [bleep]ing talk to me. Yes busy, yes home, but surely, if she really "loved" me, surely to God she could spend one minute sending a stupid message? Plus thinking of the costing as mentioned above... Do I really have to put up with shit like that? She even knows the train fare as I told her it when sorting out the times. As she was trying to figure out if I could make it cheaper by going to Salisbury (£18) - 2 hours from her - they'd come visit their family there and take me back with them. But then it's £47 something from hers to here on singles, and I'll be out of pocket even more. Kie's currently texting me telling me not to retaliate with what I want to say to her - "Well no, I didn't know you've done that, because quite frankly you never talk to me". But I guess it would be more trouble than it's worth. To stop feeling this way? The loneliness and worthlessness I play Rune generally. Social environment, where I have a group of acquaintances and IRL friends, that I can have a bit of a laugh with. Hell even posting on my blog is almost soothing some days. Anger? Kie, Dan, Cannon, Marie... Those 4 see the ugliest side to me yet they still insist on being my closest friends. Like I said - Kie's warning caution right now, due to me feeling angry - don't want to say anything rash.

Yeah, junk really sums it up... But to be honest, crowns are going for 23-25m on W1 and 2. So if you can get one for cheap on the GE or free on SoF you'll have a nice flip.

Or y'know... Just bacon... With some steak... And some more bacon... With some lovely Cathedral City mature cheddar melted on top =P~ =P~ =P~

CBA editing last post as I'm lazy... Been going through my phone today, taking pictures etc off it. Thought I'd share this lovely one where me and the girlyfriend were on a "forced date". We went to Newquay (just up the road from Lampeter by bus) with another couple (girlfriends friends) and they decided to kindly buy us a ticket to go dolphin watching: Also IT DOES EXIST IN WALES! THIS IS PROOF! Scientists have been baffled by this picture since I took it!

First time posting here in forever, since who wants to see my ugly mug? :P Anyways me and the girlyfriend on a "forced date". We went to Newquay (just up the road from Lampeter by bus) with another couple (girlfriends friends) and they decided to kindly buy us a ticket to go dolphin watching: Also IT DOES EXIST IN WALES! THIS IS PROOF! Scientists have been baffled by this picture since I took it!

^ This. Also Leik, how's the temperature? Thank God I'm going on holiday back to that country I live in for 33 weeks of the year soon... But I'm going to the coast... Nice spot at a place called Borth. Should be at least 8oC cooler than where I am now. Hereford hit 31oC today and we have all 3 fans on in the house on full blast, with windows open too in order to try and cool down. WHY IS IT SO HUMID???!!!

Absolutely... Crackling 8-) It's gona be hilarious, some good ol' British charm in there is what's needed. Finally nice to see a good, light hearted update to come out in light of all the empty months, nerfs and other things people (like myself) can and have been complaining about. Also the song! :D I'm starting to turn on my RS sound more and more now, ever since that murder mystery on steroids at that abbey place had that fantastic song. And Wending Through the Willows for QBD quest.

Oathivion I play it on Xbox360! I know that's perhaps heresy, but I believe if I were to play it on my laptop (with the 5fps shambles that RS is) the thing would more than likely blow up! STEV HATH SPOKEN. But I agree with Kie! :P Also since I'm in a Monty Python mood this comes to mind: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=plZRe1kPWZw Also for Tans and GoT lovers:

Any advice for dealing with major insecurities? More specifically, when the person doesn't talk to you? It's one of the bad things that has developed over time and was catalysed by my last relationship. Story time: During the first term of this academic year (October) I met this lovely girl called Kathryn. She and I hit it off fantastically, good chemistry, good laugh together and so we got together, had a few dates. Spent some nights together, and y'know, things were laid back and nice. It was her first relationship and the first time a guy had been interested in her, and it was my second/third proper relationship after several years of being single, with only the damp squib that was the fling with Martha and dating Leela in between. However at Christmas time (I swear I posted about it... But cannot find it - odd) Kat kinda dropped off the world. I know I know, being home everything changes what with being with parents etc. Most of my friends are like me and forget/leave their phone on silent in other rooms/around the house and don't remember to pick it back up for hours to a day or 2. Now prior to this Lampeter Singing Society (it's how she and I met - she was president of the Society) put on a couple of concerts and as a result the stress got to her and her mum ended up taking her home a couple of weeks early (she'd come to see the concert) because she had the signs of depression and anxiety and stress. Then, over Christmas it all fell apart, she fully stopped talking to me, and when we got back wouldn't spend time with me, or hardly talk to me. Hell we went to see Les Mis in the cinema as a group and she wouldn't even sit next to me there or spend time with me in Carmarthen. We had a talk at the end of January and she decided she had too many "issues" and "needed to sort her head". Chats eventually led to my flaws and insecurities - like wanting to talk to the person fairly often (too much to ask?) and apparently (for her) I needed to learn the difference between "Being out together" and "Being out together with friends". Ultimately it boiled down to the fact that when she was home she was teased by her parents - you know the kind of teasing of "Oooh you have a boyfriend" - the immature silly stuff that after a while gets on your nerves, and eventually she snapped and decided to turn the blame on me, not talk to me and break up with me (according to all my girl friends it's a girl thing to do?). All of my other friends (including Draz, Octarine, and even the Singing Society) felt she'd wronged me, especially with the way she treated me at Christmas time and supported me when I was in a rather bad way, leaving her to deal with everything on her own which I think she knew - I admit I invested way too much into it because I really liked the girl. Eventually 2 months later I'd mended, and realised what my friends were saying and got back into the game. This is when I met my current girlfriend Rebecca. We were on a night out to Lampeter's annual "Fetish Ball", and I ended up going back to a houseparty with Becca and back to hers. Now those of you who know me, and know me well, know that I wont sleep with a girl on the first night. One night stands aren't me... I'm one of those old romantics, and often get called a gentleman. We have to know each other and like each other a hell of a lot. She respected this grudgingly and just slept normally with me. We continued to chat more than we had before (we were close friends beforehand anyways), and hanging out and sleeping with each other. Easter time came and went, and when we were back in Lampeter she made it plainly clear that she properly liked me and wanted to make a real relationship out of it - hell we were pretty much already in one, cept we didn't say it. After that and thinking it'd lead somewhere good (which it has so far) we slept together properly for the first time, and things went from strength to strength. She even practically moved into my room, staying with me pretty much every night and we were like a proper couple together - my best mate at uni Cannon even started to get jealous as our romance had interrupted his and my bromance! In the realtionship there's a lot of maturity, more so than the last one with Kat, and yet still enough immaturity that everything is funny. Though... She stunned me one night when she came in (drunk) and told me she loved me asking me to promise not to tell her what she said - and then confronted me 2 weeks later asking why I hadn't told her I loved her and that she did remember that night :P And it took me a while longer to make sure it was definite for my side, and by the end of term I was able to honestly say I love her too. Which made me realise that this was a proper, real solid relationship... Which is really nice after past few. So we will hit the 4 month mark on the 8th, which is fantastic. BUT once again, the issue of being home has crept into my mind. We've spoken... 3 times? Or is it 4? In the course of the past month - yes yes... Once a week average? Surely isn't bad and I'm just being "clingy" I think most of you will feel. But going from practically spending every waking and sleeping hour with the person to not spending any at all, and hardly being able to talk to them is rough... Also recently, I've been trying to sort visiting her with both her and my parents (since I'm reliant on my parents as I don't have a job, and my M.A. is all self funded so I don't have any loan money or anything). The sorting the trains and telling her about that was easy enough... But trying to get a reply out of her this past week in order to get her home phonenumber is a nightmare. Getting her number is my mum's idea... It's the usual mum thing (which I fully understand tbh) of wanting to call my friends/girlfriends mum in order to make 100% sure that both parents have emergency numbers/addresses should anything happen AND to make sure that it's 100% okay with their mother that I can go and stay for a few days. Because c'mon, the houses are their parents, not theirs. It's all well and good being invited, but it's even better to check their parents are okay with it, rather than turning up on the doorstep expecting to be welcome because the friend/gf says it's so. Cannon was rather aghast when I asked him for his, as he feels my mum is treating us like we're 12 again organising a play date... But yeah, because of what happened with Kat, my mind is playing havoc with me. I've sent Becca one text a day for the past 3 days or so, asking nicely for the number, and left a voicemail today (Draz (Kieran)) suggested to give her a call (which went straight to voicemail), with absolutely no reply. I'm sincerely at a loss of what to actually do now... Because I don't want to come across desperate at all, or clingy and have the exact same problems that I had with Kat... Yet part of me just wishes to not be ignored. Hell I've talked to Kie/Dan/Cannon more times than I've chatted to my girlfriend - or a better example is Marie, a close friend of mine who's been there for me. She actually chats to me more than Becca does, and she herself says that I deserve better treatment, especially after what happened with Kat. SO am I just being an idiot? Letting his insecurities get in the way of a good thing, worrying about absolutely nothing and essentially just being #1 Bad IRL person (as well as RSer as everyone says)... Or should I press more for a reply from her? Becca knows how I feel, what happened with Kat and what my biggest worries are. Hell, we even spent one night cuddled in bed with me saying I don't want to be clingy, yet I don't want her to ignore me.