Naive

Granted, you receive a book entitled "Two More Wishes" The quality is on par with "50 Shades of Grey" I wish I never got acne

Said banana peel rockets through your forehead

Banned for unoriginality

Granted, you enter a contest where the right answer is actually the wrong answer. You fail miserably. I wish for a cheeseburger

Choked on said rabbit stew

Granted, you accidentally use your Lord as live ammunition and he/she dies I wish Tyrion Lannister was real

Banned for not playing Golden Sun or knowing about the 4 Venus Djinn summon Judgement

Assuming you wouldn't get caught either way, rob a bank. Walk on a bed of hot coals, or walk on a bed of the sharpest Lego bricks ever

Banned for making me chuckle with that "butt-slappingly" adverb

I make the assumption that in place of people the internet has sophisticated bots that can pass a Turing test, so Internet and no people please. Not like I socially interact anyways. Immortality with the inability to ever feel pleasure ever again, or the biggest rush of euphoria you've ever had followed immediately by death.

Granted, you win! Moments afterward the team mascot falls on top of you in his excitement to congratulate you, and you suffocate under the sweat-matted fur I wish I didn't require sleep. I fail to see how this corrupts the wish in any way, Macs do suck

An equally absurdly leveled Magikarp falls on your head from the stratosphere, killing you on impact

While Blaze falls to his doom he let's loose a shot that ricochets off of the volcano's wall and lodges itself firmly in your brain

29,918

Megaman Battle Network 3 I just got my nails did

Granted. You instead have the nightmare every waking moment of your life. I wish my dad would see sense when I tell him Macs suck

You're fired from the circus for not rotating the board properly, causing multiple stab wounds to the victim

Some guy with his hand up Kermitt's bum Keyblade

Banned for not advertising Tyrion Lannister hard enough

Granted, I enjoy my new home where anything can happen and no one can pester me about showing them IRL pics. I wish I didn't feel sick in the mornings

Harder better faster stronger Hai \:D/

Granted, you can now read your own thoughts. I wish I could eat donuts guilt-free

I was feeling really down for no reason, even snapped at my cousin when he asked what was wrong. I still don't know what's the matter, but that penguin video perked me up a bit

Banned for not expanding your boundaries

Granted. The file is intercepted by the CIA and they arrest you for solicitation and stalking. I wish I had an ALG to cuddle with