issy2

Nice idea for a thread dux : ) The place I call home is London, England, and it's amazing living here. Knowing you're living in the capital of the world... (except maybe New York/Tokyo?) If you're looking for something to do you couldn't get bored. The weather's pretty mild all year round - we're promised a blazing summer every year but the weather rarely delivers. So... what do Londoners think about... Boris Johnson, has his name reached other shores yet? Identified by a mop of floppy blond hair and a spectacular accent he's a true character and has a very comic persona. His first act as Mayor of London was to trip over the podium he was welcomed onto to give a speech :lol: His first 'official' act was to ban drinking on public transport. What else, bus and tube strikes... which happen quite a lot (apparently they aren't paid enough, but to my knowledge they get 30k a year, which is more than nurses and probably teachers so I don't know what they're complaining about). I think it's a London thing, maybe they're in use other places as well though - Oyster cards, like a permanent travelcard for cheaper public transport. Which reminds me... a couple of guys (I think there a band called Amateur Transplants?) wrote a song called the London Underground which is totally unjust but still hilarious because it's peppered with grains of truth :P I'd love to post the lyrics or a link but definitely PG+ so... Very culturally diverse, I'm told, but it doesn't strike me so much because I've never lived anywhere else. Some areas/boroughs are especially noted for it. If you go into central London you'll find there's this juxtaposition between really old, stone, historical buildings like St Pauls and the Houses of Parliament right next to these monuments to modernity, like the Southbank Complex which from the outside is this imposing, unattractive block of concrete, and blocks and blocks of riverside flats which are mostly glass. Lots of rain (goes without saying I guess, lol). If you go to any of the big streets when it's pouring you'll find all the shop doorways crammed with people taking shelter, same with the tube stations. When winter comes round everyone (well except bus drivers :P) clings on to the hope of snow... the only thing that makes all that rain and mud worthwhile :P And lots of tourists as well, cameras and stuff. I can't think of anything else atm, which is pretty pathetic since I did a speech in class about living in London #-o But anyway. Tis cool here :

I love how the reader finds out a lot more about Isla through that conversation. It's so much more interesting to have the reader discover things like that without simply telling them point-blank. Can't wait for part 3 : )

Veeery interesting. I'm certainly puzzled : I like the mystery of what the heck's happening to Isaac and its contrast with the pretty everyday life of rolling out of bed, getting dressed, having cereal, going to work etc. Deepens the mystery you might say :P The first thing that struck me is that what you're trying to convey in the very first sentence is crammed into a space much too small. I know it's supposed to be a short story, but to get that real hazy, sleepy, semi-conscious feeling of just waking up I think more than a sentence will be needed - especially between sleep and getting out of bed. And I think that'll make it more ... dramatic? when Isaac starts acting really oddly. Anyway, I like it : ) Looking forward to Part 2!

Eva Green is so beautiful. Only seen her in Casino Royale though. [hide=] [/hide]

He has to be SUPER SRS Oh gross! Who is that?! I think her name is Olivia Munn. I honestly can't see her as attractive at all :-# But it's what's inside that counts :

Thanks very much, comments really welcome : ) I might change one of those two words (musty and dusty) to heady... that fabulous smell of an old book is hard to describe though. I like the meaning of the two words but as you say perhaps the rhyme isn't right. I definitely agree with you about the 'moreover' thing. 'Impatient to be read' - I'm not sure I fully understand what you're asking but I meant that in the rustling, stirring noises coming from the pages of the diary, there seems to be an impatience about them as though they want to be read. Sorry if that's not very clear, but yes, it's referring to the diary, not the narrator. I think I will attempt to fill it out a bit with extracts from the diary itself. All I'm concerned about, though, is those extracts not living up to the narrator's description: if it's in the reader's imagination they can take the narrator's word for it about how touching and everything it is. If I provide bits of the diary it might undermine that ... I will give it a go though. Thanks very much guys! : )

First thing I've written in ages so not very successful I imagine. Sorry for the unimaginative title :P Let me know what you thing, improvements, c/c et cetera. Thanks very much and enjoy! Issy. [hide=]The diary lay before me on the table, radiating temptation. The faded leather cover was covered in stratches and dents, proof of how unfailing a companion it had been to the author. I shouldnt read it, I knew. I shouldnt even consider it. It was private and privacy needs to be respected. The weight of temptation is the hardest to bear and easiest to be relieved. With shaking hands I caressed the cover, ran my fingers over its surface, breathed the musty, dusty scent of pages which she had poured her life into. I could taste that life in the air as I turned onto the first page, conscious that, save the author, I was the only person to have ever touched it, to have heard the stirring and rustling of the pages as though impatient to be read. Enchanted, I began to read. As I read on the diary evolved, becoming less like a notebook and more and more the only place the author felt able to talk openly, sometimes in desperation, sometimes in good humour, about everything that made up her world. She began to sign her name, as though she was revisiting an old friend with every entry, often noted down quotes or sayings she admired before beginning to talk about herself, and filled pages with jokes, observations, and witticisms. I realised that this was no ordinary diary. The author was quiet and shy, and yet she came to life within these yellowed pages. Or maybe all diaries are like that. Just people, normal people, hiding so much of themselves away because they couldnt share themselves with anyone. As we all do, to some extent. By the time I reached the end I had forgotten myself, abandoned all pretence of solemnity. Raw emotion, not always negative. Sadness, anger, desperation and despair, yes but hope, affection, bravery and humour; it hit me hard, and I did not know what to do. Her jokes and stories had made me laugh out loud, but now I felt like crying. And not only because of the shock of reality. She had written these things down in the belief that they would never be read, and I had abused that. I was disgusted with myself, appalled that I had given in to such a basic human instinct, curiousity in the guise of necessity. Moreover, no-one had ever had the time or patience to listen to her, and the world had gone on, barely noticing, let alone stopping to offer a helping hand. I had been among those who turned away, who never had the time to listen and talk. I wouldnt be like that again, I knew. Because thats all a lot of people need, really. Someone to talk to. So I shut the diary. The leather covers closed together with a soft, satisfied sound, as though they felt they had done their work. The time had come for the diary to be shut away once more. Maybe in a hundred years time some other would find it hidden away, blow the dust from its cover and be enchanted by the authors touching tale. But for now it would lie in peace. Undisturbed, until it was ready.[/hide]

Well first off you obviously have a very good vocabulary and a relatively mature writing style: it doesn't sound particularly clumsy or choppy. I would say, though, that the paragraphs are too structured. While the words and phrases themselves are pretty fluent the sequence of paragraphs aren't. In some styles of writing that's a good thing, essays and arguments for instance, but here it seems a touch overdone. As I said you obviously have a very good vocabulary but it seems like there's too many long words in there - it's very detailed, is there a way of thinning it out a bit? I do like it, though, it's very interesting, got a thoughtful, philosophical atmosphere about it.

Welcome to the American Dream. Well that's encouraging :(

IMHO it's an incredibly basic part of being part of a community. If it's a financial issue, and it's people who are worrying about paying more taxes standing in the way of nationalised healthcare... jeez. It's nothing more than basic decency and selflessness, surely? If someone can't deal with having a small amount sliced off their wage to help those in need of medical care they don't deserve to be part of a society. It seems like if we're missing anything in the West, it's a sense of civic duty. I'm not even talking about nationalised healthcare but it feels like everyone's just living for themselves, no obligations to anybody else...

Aw Gareth has such a nice smile <3:

They don't. Simple as. Only a fool would assume the least weepy woman in the world sheds more tears than the most emotional man on the planet. However if we modify your question slightly - Because it's true. The last thing I want to do is generalise but the average woman cries more than the average man. I've seen quite a few of my girlfriends cry but I've only ever seen guys cry out of extreme pain or anger, and even then they do their best to keep tear-shedding to a minimum. But there's nothing wrong with it, no reason why guys should feel an obligation to remain dry-eyed all the time. If you're upset about something I think it's pretty healthy to have a good sob about it. Good luck at your new school, have a good time!

Hah like anyone would plagerize me! Have you changed your msn? x I don't thiiink so... I'll pm it to you just in case : )

Even if we assume the research is true, the point isn't that after 10,000 hours you suddenly master something - as you said learning is a gradual process and different for everyone. There was also some info in an article I read about this that those who've done 10,000 hours of something are those considered phenomenal at it, 8,000 is enough to be far better than average and 6,000 or so to teach it. Can't find the article atm, it's hidden somewhere under a massive pile of newspaper cuttings in my room, might dig it up later. Found this on the internet though. [hide=] [/hide] http://www.psychol.ucl.ac.uk/david.shan ... rtise.html Thank you. <3: Pleasure :

Even if we assume the research is true, the point isn't that after 10,000 hours you suddenly master something - as you said learning is a gradual process and different for everyone. There was also some info in an article I read about this that those who've done 10,000 hours of something are those considered phenomenal at it, 8,000 is enough to be far better than average and 6,000 or so to teach it. Can't find the article atm, it's hidden somewhere under a massive pile of newspaper cuttings in my room, might dig it up later. Found this on the internet though. [hide=] [/hide] http://www.psychol.ucl.ac.uk/david.shan ... rtise.html

Writing, or film direction.

Ohhh xD Thought this was plagarism for a minute. Well it's nice to read this again, I remember it well! :P

I think that l0rd has the best choices here tbh :? The photo of Zoey Deschanel is definitely the best photo on here IMO

Are you Andy?

The guys... [hide=] [/hide] and the gals - [hide=] [/hide]

I'd write a letter to everyone that's had a significant impact on my life, address them and leave them somewhere to be sent. I'd get on my bike and go and see a few places one last time (the schools I've been to, a couple of houses where I've spent a lot of time, say goodbye.) Then I'd come home, get a pencil and cover the walls of my room with writing - all my thoughts and ideas and things I've wanted to say, messages for my family, favourite lyrics and bits of poetry. I'd do that listening to music: Muse, Jay Jay Pistolet, the Love Cats, by the Cure, and lots of Louis Armstrong. Smash the window in my room so it'd open onto the sky - only opens a few inches at the moment, watch the stars. I wouldn't want to be asleep really. I'd want to know exactly what was happening to me. Wouldn't be so bad if it was tonight, because I could die watching a meteor shower : ) /babbling

Tony Blair? North Korea... don't know how long all that's been going on for though 9/11, Al-Qaeda, etc, the emergence of 'green' energy. Huge scientific advances, maybe the LHC.

Hello, haven't seen you around before : ) This is going to sound quite vague and potentially irrelevant, so just bear with me, ok? One thing you have to realise about stories, and successful stories, is that they are vehicles for something else - the emotion. Two things are needed to create a successful story - the technical skill, (spelling, grammar, sentence, paragraph and plot structure) and the emotional/artistic capability to create emotion, involve the reader, make them feel for the characters. Of course there are no rules when it comes to art, but all the same there are going to be certain things you can do to improve a piece of writing. I was talking to my dad the other day about music production - he was saying how there are producers who are technically incredibly good, have amazingly sensitive ears, know a vast amount about sound, acoustics, and the like - and yet they lack the sensitivity to make the listener feel. They can create things which aren't emotionally successful, which fail to engage, fail to leave the listener feeling the intended emotion. Going back to the first thing I said, in many cases a piece of writing that may be deemed 'good' is often a vehicle for emotion. (although I guess that's a tricky thing to define...) Good stories, books, fairytales - they will all be based on themes. Think of any book you like, and write a mental list of the themes it involves - they'll be several at least. But you can't start a book with the theme plastered all over every page, it has to be subtle, it has to be something the reader works out for themselves. Let's take, for instance, Harry Potter. I'll assume you know the story? Read the first page, just a couple of paragraphs. You'll find there's not any theme mentioned there, and it's the same for others famous tales. At the beginning of a tale like that, the focus is on a few characters and what's going on in their lives. It's almost a bit claustrophobic, knowing very little. I think as the tale goes on it's as though the camera zooms out - you start to see the bigger picture, more characters, more history, more development, and the focus zooms out even more, and you see a bigger picture still, with those characters you love or hate at the very centre - they're the focal point of attention, still at the forefront of the mind, but behind them are the themes that have influenced them the whole way through, the things that the reader should be -perhaps subconsciously? - thinking about. theme, noun - an idea or principle explored by the author Now, back to the point! : The theme of your story is very obviously love. But the reader shouldn't know that in the first line. Or, at the very least, it shouldn't be told to them in the first line. As I heard once - authors shouldn't talk, they whisper. If, for instance, it was a printed book, the reader would probably already have a reasonably good idea of the subject matter - through the blurb, cover, title, maybe reviews, etc. But the focus needs to be on the characters and plot, which leads to thought about the themes. Not the other way around. Basically, I would suggest you fill it out a lot - detail detail. Start with a scene, maybe - and maybe include a very short description of the characters within that scene, but for the most part let knowledge of the other characters come from their actions, their speech and movements, the words you choose. Try and work out a scene in your head where some of the main characters can be present, and their main qualities are all apparent in that scene. Sorry this has been so long, hope I haven't bored you to death XD Sorry if it seems totally irrelevant lol. I love the title btw, a criminal called love - very nice. Also how long are you intending it to be?

Whoa... how come you guys all start school so early? I don't go back till September :shock: