willyhenriksen Posted July 7, 2005 Share Posted July 7, 2005 "New summoning spells! Thank you all RS players! Thanks to you, we have collected enough money to purchase Pokemon from Nintendo! They also sold it to us for a low price because they said something about it being unpopular. Anyway, you may now summon 150 new Pokemon with the new spells you have! These spells took up too much memory for us, sowe decided to remove all Ancient magics, teleport spells, and alchemy spells, as these were the ones being used most frequently. Finally, we didn't bother hiring a translator because it was too expensive. Enjoy your new Japanese spells! Happy Gaming! Another one: This is the moment you've been waiting for! Due to the low number of monsters and hard accessibilityy of high level monsters, there will be 8 bronze, iron, or steel dragons outside every bank and general store. You are guarenteed to go right into combat! These dragons have special prayer that turn all your food into rotten food and drain your prayer and use Protect from Mage/Melee/Rage. Also, dragonfire shields are anti-dragonfire potions will have no effect! Happy Gaming! Another one: Dear Players, Due to many complaints from rangers that they are underpowered, we have added in new ranger weapons, guns! These guns can be bought for 1gp at Lowe's archery store in Varrock and require no ammo. They give a +10000000 bonus to ranged attack. In testing the mods have been able to 1 hit the Kalphite Queen! Also, now all melee armour gives -205 range def. We hope these updates will make rangers able to compete with the other classes again. Happy Gaming! Another one: POH! Yes, rejoice Runescape players because the long awaited player owned houses are finally here! Due to the huge number of whiners saying "omgzorz 1 w4nt p0H!!1!!" we have worked day and night to release it! New houses can be bought for 100k in Varrock, Falador or Ardougne. Note: Due to the immense rush to bring these out you may experience a few bugs. For example, no trees/fishing spots/rocks etc may be added to your house. Also, whenever you say the letter "e" you will be teleported to your house. On opening the door of your house, all your most valuable items in your bank will go to your inventory, you will be skulled and 2 KQs will appear in front of you. We hope to fix these bugs sometime in the next few years. Happy Gaming! Another one: Dear all RuneScape players. Today, we had had to ban all of our members for abusing an extremely common bug. This bug started your combat level at 3 instead of 1. We hope that all of our members learn from this, and remember to use the report bug abuse button. Happy Gaming, RuneScape Staff On the main page: Number of people playing: 0" i havent made these but i think they are funny R.I.P. Shiva and Steve Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
edge0303 Posted July 7, 2005 Share Posted July 7, 2005 i like the POH one :lol: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shadow_Fox99 Posted July 7, 2005 Share Posted July 7, 2005 wow....did you copy paste these from the runescape fourms. Because i have seen these same ones there to. First place Winner of Nick 6464 F2P custom contest. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rowanaqua Posted July 7, 2005 Share Posted July 7, 2005 Not bad ideas. :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Real_CyanBoy Posted July 7, 2005 Share Posted July 7, 2005 It made me laugh :lol: I like the lvl 3 bug one :P Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
apinagez Posted July 7, 2005 Share Posted July 7, 2005 Not bad ideas. :D Actually updates that would ruin runescape. :roll: ^The most disturbing signature on Tip.it^Last.fm|HELLY KAYLA!|Oh the mehagurtz!|#Siencemakers"they care less about their spelling mistakes then I." - Lionheart"apinagez... let me Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
willyhenriksen Posted July 7, 2005 Author Share Posted July 7, 2005 wow....did you copy paste these from the runescape fourms. Because i have seen these same ones there to. probably the same who posted it whos in my clan, enforcer48? R.I.P. Shiva and Steve Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
runescape102 Posted July 7, 2005 Share Posted July 7, 2005 pokemon!!!!!!!!!!! i wanna be the very best that no one ever was to catch them as my real test to train them as my cause i will travel cross the land searching far and wide these pokemon to understand the power that's inside it's for you and me i know with my destiny ooh your my best friend,in the world you must defend a heart so true our courage will pull us through you teach me and i teach you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Escape5 Posted July 7, 2005 Share Posted July 7, 2005 All I can think of doing is laughing Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
remi Posted July 7, 2005 Share Posted July 7, 2005 lol :P Very nice..heheh Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
willyhenriksen Posted July 9, 2005 Author Share Posted July 9, 2005 Bring Up My Post R.I.P. Shiva and Steve Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Umega Posted July 9, 2005 Share Posted July 9, 2005 Hi RuneScapers! Today will see the release of DisneyScape! A themepark for players to have fun. Magic is closer than it seems! (Requires level 70 magic to enter the park). *Due to a bug there is a level 564 mickey mouse with unlimited prayers and weilding an abyssal whip on the loose. Please do not abuse the full mickey mouse costume that it drops if you do managed to kill it* No longer playing Runescape, I caught the WoW bug. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
banditx31 Posted July 9, 2005 Share Posted July 9, 2005 Nice jokes!!! :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
banditx31 Posted July 9, 2005 Share Posted July 9, 2005 Hi RuneScapers! Today will see the release of DisneyScape! A themepark for players to have fun. Magic is closer than it seems! (Requires level 70 magic to enter the park). *Due to a bug there is a level 564 mickey mouse with unlimited prayers and weilding an abyssal whip on the loose. Please do not abuse the full mickey mouse costume that it drops if you do managed to kill it* i wish that there is a lv 894 goofy wielding a bronze dagger. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
willyhenriksen Posted July 9, 2005 Author Share Posted July 9, 2005 he would probably kill you anyway. R.I.P. Shiva and Steve Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
willyhenriksen Posted July 9, 2005 Author Share Posted July 9, 2005 new update, hello all players! just a quick notice to say that there has comed a new armor for free to players, enjoy! now has a new armor comed for f2p, its a combined leather and metal armor with a magic protecting shield which you can buy in varrock armorshop for 50gp each piece, it has a +1000 defense against everything, this armor is f2p only. R.I.P. Shiva and Steve Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cagedmage Posted July 9, 2005 Share Posted July 9, 2005 :lol: Them first ones made me laugh, i loved the pokemon, POH and combat lvl one. That last one you just did wasn't funny at all, and by that i can tell that you probably didn't write the first ones you posted. Whoever you got them off tell them that they're funny. 'The' Clan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deathskully Posted July 9, 2005 Share Posted July 9, 2005 Dear Runescapers, Today our customers were complaining about the high costs of membership, making us lose members. We have decided to make the costs 0.01 cents per month! Happy Gaming, Mod Useless Another one: Today we had been told from players there was a few bugs with the kalphite queen. We have now made it slightly easier to beat. When fighting the kalphite queen, If you eat food it will deal an EXTRA 20 damage to it! The kalphite queen has 4Hp, 1 form, and drops dragon chain 100%. The Kalphite Queen now doesn't use protect prayers! Happy wrecking the economy, Mod Imakeuselessupdates Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
i_eat_tables Posted July 9, 2005 Share Posted July 9, 2005 This is what we will see on the 1st of august Dear players, Many people are complaining about farming not being released when we said it would. However, we did clearly state that it would be out in July, which we thought obviously meant July 2006. Anyone we see complaining about this will be banned for life and we will give your adress to terrorists Happy gaming, mod moron Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
my_doggy Posted July 9, 2005 Share Posted July 9, 2005 This is what we will see on the 1st of august Dear players, Many people are complaining about farming not being released when we said it would. However, we did clearly state that it would be out in July, which we thought obviously meant July 2006. Anyone we see complaining about this will be banned for life and we will give your adress to terrorists Happy gaming, mod moron LMAO! that one makes total sense. sounds like something jagex would do Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Nezikchened Posted July 9, 2005 Share Posted July 9, 2005 This is what we will see on the 1st of august Dear players, Many people are complaining about farming not being released when we said it would. However, we did clearly state that it would be out in July, which we thought obviously meant July 2006. Anyone we see complaining about this will be banned for life and we will give your adress to terrorists Happy gaming, mod moron Gave me a good laugh :mrgreen: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FTTW Posted July 9, 2005 Share Posted July 9, 2005 Dear Players, Paul and myself have decided to raise the price of membership to $15 per month because our parents are now making us pay for our learner's permits, microwavable pizzas, and ramen noodles. What's next mother? Rent? Not to worry though, with more money comes new advantages over the free players. As most of you know, other than the ranging additions and that pathetic new "dungeon" under Draynor, we've pretty much given no attention to our free players, because they're ungrateful hippie scum who think they can get anything for free. Excuse me, I'm still mad at our parents. I'm so not talking to them for a week. Anyway, we have decided to add a new chapter to the story that is Runescape. This chapter, literally and not, is entitled "Paul and I Totally [bleep] Over All the Free Players By Releasing the Demons of Hell Upon Lumbridge, Draynor, Al Kharid, Falador, Edgeville, and Whatever Those Other Pathetic Towns Are Called". New free players will have a surprise when they arrive on the mainland from Tutorial Island. They will have the task of running to the Lumbridge guide while attempting to dodge a level 200 or so dragon. Oops! We told you to get that Anti-Dragon Shield! Idiots... We have also decided to take away all the mines, yew trees, nature runes, law runes, or anything of similar value to free players, making it virtually impossible to make a profit of any kind. In addition, we have drenched everything in free worlds of Runescape with motor oil, thus, when you set a fire, it spreads. Woops, didn't mean to start a forest fire! Also, whenever you die, you go down 5 combat levels as well as lose all of your possessions. Level 3-7s that die will automatically be banned and mailed a bill for wasting other Runescape players' time and items. We have also made it so that you need a knife and fork to eat any type of fish. NOTE: Jagex has no plans of creating knives and forks. We have also muted all free players. NOW FOR THE MEMBERS UPDATES: Members will be pleasantly surprised that they can use their member items in the free world, but cannot trade them to free players. You are also able to attack any free player anywhere, thus rendering the Wilderness usless, right? Wrong! We have added a new mini-game called "Capture the F2p Bastards". In this mini-game, you will have endless fun using fishing nets to capture free players and drag them in a cage into the wilderness where you hook them up to a crane and slowly lower them into the boiling hot lava. As you read earlier, all free players are muted. But what you didn't know is that all members can say WHATEVER THE [bleep] THEY WANT! WOOT! Alright, Paul and I are about to run to the supermarket to pick up some Uncle Ben's rice bowls. Damn parents. You just wait until I move out of your god damn basement. --Andrew RSN: F T T W, 1167 Total, 117 Combat, All F2P Current Goal: 97/99 Defence I am The Walrus. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
i_eat_tables Posted July 9, 2005 Share Posted July 9, 2005 roflmao FTTW thats great :lol: :lol: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
X_T_H_X Posted July 9, 2005 Share Posted July 9, 2005 FTTW that ownz and the one about 2006 was funny 2 Xtreme iTalk Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
v3nd3tta Posted July 9, 2005 Share Posted July 9, 2005 Not bad ideas. :D Actually updates that would ruin runescape. :roll: Updates that ruin runescape? Been there, done that, got a free tshirt. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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