Sp4de Posted July 30, 2005 Share Posted July 30, 2005 http://auritribe.net/cnn/ TEXAS (CNN) -- In light of recent terrorist attacks, the Department of Homeland Security has issued a ban on all sales and distribution of the 1997 hit video game, Final Fantasy VII The game involves the main character, Cloud Strife, planting bombs in power plants in a heavily populated city. The protagonist works with the terrorist group "Avalanche" bombing locations throughout the beginning of the game. The decision was made only hours after the bombing of a chemical plant in Fort Worth, Texas. The FBI is still hot on the trails of the culprit, going by the hacker alias "frootloops". An FBI spokesperson told CNN at the time that investigators have already seized equipment in the culprits house, but frootloops was nowhere to be found. "Upon confiscation of the equipment, we found a large collection of child pornography on the culprits hard drive." said the FBI spokesperson. President Bush has already indicated he's opposed to Square-Enix role playing games. "Mario doesn't blow up power plants" Bush said on thursday. Mario was unavailible for comment. Parenting groups are also up in arms against the game. "These 'role playing games' are teaching our children to use magic and summon demons, they're destroying our childrens future and making them worship satan. We can't allow this to continue." Various forms of Magic have been a staple of every game in the Final Fantasy series dating back to Final Fantasy released in 1990 for the Nintendo Entertainment System. "It's almost as bad as Harry Potter!" A parent who wishes to remain anonymous said. Sen. Hillary Clinton also is highly opposed to the game. "First Grand Theft Auto, and now this. I'm starting to think we should just ban all video games. Final Fantasy VII is an awful game, and should have never been created in the first place. I mean, look at the size of Tifa's breasts! They're destroying our childrens future. The problem of explicit video games is spiraling out of control." Clinton wrote in a letter to the head of the Federal Trade Commission. Tifa's breasts were unavailible for comment. Wal-Mart Stores Inc., Target Corp., Best Buy Co. and Circuit City Stores Inc. have pulled the game from their shelves following the recent ban. Well, hopefully trade in places still sell it for people who want to buy it, but who cares, Roms already are all over the net for PSX. Edit: I did some snooping around and found out this is fake, near the bottom of the thing it says, 'Copyright 2005 Auritribe. All rights reserved.This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed. Kill your parents' note the last sentance. Also, I checked on CNN.com and looked at all the July 28th news updates, and there was none on the site about Final Fantasy 7. ÃÆââ¬Å¡Ãâï(ÃÆââ¬Å¡Ãâú_o)/ÃÆââ¬Å¡Ãâï Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mercifull Posted July 30, 2005 Share Posted July 30, 2005 Shame its not true Mercifull <3 Suzi "We don't want players to be able to buy their way to success in RuneScape. If we let players start doing this, it devalues RuneScape for others. We feel your status in real-life shouldn't affect your ability to be successful in RuneScape" Jagex 01/04/01 - 02/03/12 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
indy500fan Posted July 30, 2005 Share Posted July 30, 2005 did you actually think it was true? :lol: President Bush has already indicated he's opposed to Square-Enix role playing games. "Mario doesn't blow up power plants" Bush said on thursday. Mario was unavailible for comment. it sounded fishy up to that point, but by then it should be clear as rain that it was fake :lol: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pur304 Posted July 30, 2005 Share Posted July 30, 2005 Yeah they spelt unavailable wrong. "Mario was unavail(i)ble for comment"...pft. FF7 is a great game and I cant see how it would radicalise people lmao. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jak722 Posted July 30, 2005 Share Posted July 30, 2005 Sen. Hillary Clinton also is highly opposed to the game. "First Grand Theft Auto, and now this. I'm starting to think we should just ban all video games. Final Fantasy VII is an awful game, and should have never been created in the first place. I mean, look at the size of Tifa's breasts! They're destroying our childrens future. The problem of explicit video games is spiraling out of control." Clinton wrote in a letter to the head of the Federal Trade Commission. Tifa's breasts were unavailible for comment. The Enrichment Center reminds you that the weighted companion cube will never threaten to stab you and, in fact, cannot speak. In the event that the weighted companion cube does speak, the Enrichment Center urges you to disregard its advice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AniseCookies Posted July 30, 2005 Share Posted July 30, 2005 lol i thought it was until what bush said :P got meh worried Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RebelAssassin Posted July 31, 2005 Share Posted July 31, 2005 and i think a terrorist attack in a chemical plant would be on the news www.PETAkillsanimals.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jesselt Posted July 31, 2005 Share Posted July 31, 2005 Shame its not true You find it a shame that they didn't ban all video games? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NorthernHero Posted July 31, 2005 Share Posted July 31, 2005 Shame its not true You find it a shame that they didn't ban all video games? Lol, like they could do that :P . Reality is hundreds of times more beautiful and more interesting than delusions. Fairy tales just tend to be easier to follow than the wonderful intricacies of life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rotundra87 Posted July 31, 2005 Share Posted July 31, 2005 Shame its not true You find it a shame that they didn't ban all video games? Lol, like they could do that :P . the funny thing is that it would probably induce massive amounts of violence, at least short term. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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