Granted. This is the jacket you get:

 

 

I wish everyone would stop hurting each other

Granted, everyone starts loving eachother, but you are left out.

 

I wish I could walk on water when I wanted to.

Granted, but the first time you try you get ripped to shreds by a shark.

 

I wish I had 5 dollars.

Granted, but you waste it on candy, coke and something cheap.

 

I wish Michael Jackson would raise from the death and commit suicide.

Granted, but its a murder-suicide involving you.

 

I wish noodles were more delicious

Granted, but its a murder-suicide involving you.

 

I wish noodles were more delicious

 

But they had to add about 10 bazillion additives and such what to it, and one of them turned out to be radioactive, so you die.

 

I wish for a better Sig.

Granted, it's so awesome your message board is floated with messages saying how awesome it is.

 

I wish to become the greatest person ever!!!!!!!!!

Granted. This makes you the target of insane jealousy which ultimately results in your assassination.

 

I wish I would be left alone

Granted, but you become so lonely it makes you go crazy. And nobody will help you out, because you want to be left alone.

 

I wish Superman would not have weakness to kryptonite, instead he'd have no weaknesses at all.

granted. Without the threat of kryptonite, superman has nothing to stop him. he takes over the world and rules it with an iron fist.

 

I wish I was allergic to something so I had something to say when someone asked me if I had any allergies

Granted, you're allergic to 15 of your favorite foods now. :twisted:

 

I wish for 30,000 girlfriends that love me a lot.

Unfortunately, all 30,000 of your girlfriends are really transexual males (if you don't roll that way haha).

 

I wish I could become a moderately successful musician (probably industrial) when I get older.

Granted, after beginning a sucessfull career you are hit by a fan's car.

 

 

I wish for a red herring.

Granted, it's very violet and manages to hurt you a lot.

 

I wish Abraham Lincoln would find a time machine, go to 2010 and visit my apartment.

Granted, but he has a mental breakdown upon seeing how America has turned out after all he sacrificed. He also hears about exactly how he dies. And he avoids it. And completely screws up the timeline.

 

I wish I had batteries that would never run out of power

Granted, but they are the size of a Red Giant star and aren't even compatible with your Gameboy Color.

 

I wish I could pause and unpause time with just a snap of my fingers.

Granted. And having that power drives you to mayhem.

 

I wish I could answer these threads with my mind

Granted. you're abducted by evil kitty scientists who saws off your skull and removes it.. and then hooks your brain up to live wires. thus granting you the ability to answer these threads with your mind.

 

 

I wish that I had a matchstick.

You get one that's already lit and it burns your hand

 

I wish I had a butane lighter

granted. its not filled with butane though. it's filled with hydrogen dioxide.

 

I wish for a glass of water.

Granted, you get a glass of poisonous water.

 

I wish for an Asian friend.

Granted. He turns out ot be annoying

 

I wish blaziken wasn't racist (he wanted, specifically, an asian friend, which makes him a racist)

Granted. he asks for a friend. and gets an asian friend.

 

I wish that I had a talking kitty friend.

Granted, but the talking kitty annoys the heck out of you!

 

I wish I had opposable toes

granted. someone chops off both your hands, and you learn to use your toes instead.

 

I wish that psycho still had her hands.