The World didn't wake, but I sure did.

[Solemn]

I'm not fond of speaking to others ( asides from my Skype clique) , but here we go! This past Friday seemed normal, I worked out of town in the rain, I came home depressed as usual, but then my Mother called. After a few formalities she says " What if Shane ( The man I was told was my biological father) wasn't?". I'm 21 years old, I've grown up knowing "Shane" as my biological father, so I give her a skeptical look and shrug it off. " I know who you biological father is.", I swear I had to of had the biggest look of disbelief on my face. She states his name, and adds " He would really like to meet you." . My mom and I have a rather jagged relationship, I hugged her and told her I had to leave. The very second I close her door behind me and started to walk a fit of rage came over me I hurriedly puffed to my truck. I went home, got dressed, and told my wife I'd be gone for the night.

 

I got wasted with my friend, Dillon that I was going to be crashing with. I drank, I got stoned, and I completely tried to negate everything from that day. I woke up around 5:30 that morning, trying to figure out if any of this were real. I lounged around until 9, heard something in the kitchen. Turned out to be Dillon's dad, Rick. I explained the situation to Rick and he gave his invaluable input as always. I then left feeling a bit more level-headed than I did previously. I went to Mom's later that day, Decided I wanted to pursue this recently hidden family. She set a date for the next day, and I was given his number to talk to him a bit. I was hesitant to say anything, and then I started to discuss my daughter, Alice. As a twist of fate, I had three siblings I've never met.

 

My wife, Mother, and I met him and my three siblings at a gas station for him to follow me to my apartment. I eagerly Jumped out of my truck without thinking ( he parked on the passenger side luckily), I stood there pretended to check my tires while he unbuckled my new found family. After I saw the kids were out of the vehicle I proceeded to walk around to his car, I held out my hand and he shook it, impulsively I said " aw heck, I'm not that kind of person" ( I've always been rather affectionate) and gave him probably the biggest surprise hug he's ever seen. My wife went to pick my daughter and sister up, so we all went inside. It took us a minute, but we slowly came to ask each other question after question. We had our laughs and a few sighs. He told me he wanted to get to know me, to make up for all the lost time, and just the two of us next time.

 

I knew he had a three hour drive ahead of him, so I recommended he start. We started the same greeting ritual as before, but this time it seemed like i wasn't there. We had a small talk as we packed my siblings up, and he told me how impressed he was, how proud he is. It's not everyday this happens, all these years I was vying for this other cold hearted mans smallest sign of affection, and with this I got it in the first day.

 

I'm invited to A family reunion at the end of the month, many people are anxious to meet me, and boy, I'm nervous! Just today alone I got a request on Facebook from an Uncle and two cousins! They told me how much they can't wait to meet me, and how they want to know everything about me. I'm terrified about my Grandmother ( Or who I was raised to believe was my grandmother) will do and say, will she disown me? Will she embrace it? Everything I thought I knew is being turned upside down and it seems like its all spiraling fast than I can wade through it!

[Randox]

Well I can certainly see how that would rock someones world. Just wow.

 

I'm glad that things seem to be going so great for you with this, that you get along and all that. I can't really imagine what it would be like during that first meeting. For this kind of scenario, it always brings a smile to my face when people embrace the new family, not everyone does, so I hope things continue to go well between you and your new family, as well as your old. Your family just got that much bigger, and that's pretty awesome.

[PolarBearBlue]

I don't have much words to say, as this hasn't happened to me. But I'm glad your new family is accepting you so well. Even if your grandmother doesn't like, I do hope that doesn't turn your new found relationship with your father wrong. I know hoe you and your mother are (a bit) so here's hoping thing with your father turns out well. If anything, your little girl has a new granddad that will hopefully love her just as much as you do.

[Mylez]

Wow, I hope this all works out for you. Thank you for sharing, it's not very often you get to read something like that!

[Ginger_Warrior]

OK... :)

 

Well, the first thing to say is that it's fantastic news that things between you and your new family have started so well! Most of us only have one family as a support network, and now you have two, I could accuse you of being greedy! :P

 

What do you think your grandma will say about it...?

 

In what way do you think this news will change the relationship you have with the people you've always called your family before now? Do you think that if she would be worried about this, it might be because she's quite worried herself about the idea that you finding your biological family means the two of you will cease to be part of a 'family', and that you'll not be as close any more?

[Solemn]

Well Gingy, Only a few select people know at the current time. I'm pretty much holding onto this factor from that "side" of the family. My world has been turned upside down, and I'm having a hard time distinguishing reality and I continually daydream. I'm in love with this, and I think I might lose it if this goes awry.

[RpgGamer]

Must have been pretty mind blowing. Whats the age difference between you and your siblings? You made it sound like your sister is the same age as your daughter

[Low Levelled]

Did shane know he wasn't your father?

[Solemn]

Patricia is 5, Garrett is 4, and Brooklyn is 16 months and my daughter, Alice is about to be 3 in June.

[Solemn]

Shane was under the impression that he was my biological father. I paid a visit to my grandmother ( Shane's mother)and she told me it didn't matter, she took care of me and that was all their was to it.

[Solemn]

I figured i needed to refill my pity pool. We ( Me, mother, Wife, and daughter) drove 3 hours away to spend the weekend with him and his family. Lovely people, they were so delighted to meet me and everything was great. WE all got along so well, telling stories about our childhoods. I especially liked my aunts and Uncles. There was so much to do in so little time ( the two day weekend). I'll refer to him as "pops", we went everywhere together and never ran out of things to say. Sunday night came along and we knew we would have to say good byes. Pops gave me probably the longest hug I've ever had in my entire life, we said a few words and we were gone.

 

They all want me to move down there to get to know everyone and I want to so badly but I've learned that leaving to go somewhere without walking onto another job is a bad idea altogether. This consistently eats at me on a daily basis, and at times I cease to function properly because of it. A big problem or perhaps a small uncertainty is that there have be no DNA test, it bothers me so. He has told me he doesn't need one, which is fine, but it still irks me. Really and truly its stemming from my mother be a narcissist and trying to protect her image with a lie, or quite possibly she has seen the burden I've carried for so long and tries to ease it with such a lie. I'm not so foolhardy as to accept this mentally, yet its exactly what i always wanted. Would it be insane to accept this as MY reality without question?

[RpgGamer]

Dude seems happy enough to be your dad. Why the hell not?

[Solemn]

What if my mother is being deceitful and this all falls in on me?

[RpgGamer]

Why does it matter if he's your "real" dad or not? If you love/care about each other, why does the biology have to stand in the way?

[PolarBearBlue]

It seems like your mother give you so much trouble, what I am about to say will be mean.

 

Cut her out your life. The people who matter the most are your wife and your little girl. Everyone else needs to take a ticket and get in line. If your mother is causing you issue, she doesn't understand the meaning of family. My real dad was a let down. He'd say he'd visit me and never show. He'd say he send me gifts and never did. he show up in Chicago one day and except me to hang with him. The ice breaker came when he promised he'd be at my graduation party for high school. He didn't show. His mother did. She got me a gift. She told me she loved me and that my father was an ass. I have no association with him. All I know is that my grandmother moved to Japan and I lost contract because my real father's family I can never get in contract with.

 

My brother's dad, he is my father. He raised me, loved me, showed me what I should expect for a potential mate and will I didn't get along with that half of the family all the time, I know they love me, care for me, will help me, and when my dad's grandma died I couldn't contain myself at the funeral. Is my dad perfect. hell no. My parents aren't together. But I know who is getting a father's day gift.

 

TL;DR: Forget your mother and get to know your extended family. You don't need a test if this man truly loves you. as for if you should move, you and your wife need to talk.

[Solemn]

Well I work for my father in law, so that kinda prevents me from moving. IF he even thinks were moving he'll throw one of his drunken fits again. Boy, do I have an interesting life.

[Albel]

Very happy to read about the family reunion coming up soon for you sir. I cannot relate to what you went though or are still going through but I am sure it must have been a big deal. Only thing I can say is I hope it all works out. You and you're real father seem to have taken things in stride, and I can only guess that the rest of your family will as well. Best of luck, and let us know how it goes :D