punk4ever Posted February 26, 2006 Share Posted February 26, 2006 I'm not sure if this has been posted before, but it made me laugh :) Enjoy! The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the EU rather than German which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in plan that would be known as "Euro-English". In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of the"k". This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have 1 less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like "fotograf" 20% shorter. In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be ekspekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent "e"s in the language is disgraseful, and they should go away. By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v". During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters. After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi to understand ech ozer. Ze drem vil finali kum tru! And zen ve vil tak over ze vorld! The original article can be found at this link: http://www.polishnews.com/text/humor/eu ... glish.html By The_Jeppoz :wink: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
krunkthemonk Posted February 26, 2006 Share Posted February 26, 2006 I no speeken ze english aftr zat apens...French for me :wink: The problem with the gene pool is that there's no lifeguard. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zonorhc Posted February 26, 2006 Share Posted February 26, 2006 You know, if that was actually the case (obviously, it isn't, because of the URL), then I think I will switch to making fun of the British rather than the French. Varrock Library: Shattered Sky | Silent Thunder | The Emperor's FinestAstri @ MythWeavers Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MyPurpleCrayon Posted February 26, 2006 Share Posted February 26, 2006 Er... I speak American, not English. :? hah Ghost: I am prejudice towards ignorance, so that would explain why I appear to be so. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
krunkthemonk Posted February 26, 2006 Share Posted February 26, 2006 Er... I speak American, not English. :? hah Curse you Americans confusing me as a child. All this color instead of colour nonesense.*Shakes fist* The problem with the gene pool is that there's no lifeguard. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
weezcake Posted February 26, 2006 Share Posted February 26, 2006 Hey, we needed to save money during the revolutionary war by removing Os from words like favour and colour. Looks better also, IMO. :wink: ==================================Retired tip.it moderator.Teaching and inspiring. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zerocool11 Posted February 26, 2006 Share Posted February 26, 2006 Er... I speak American, not English. :? hah Curse you Americans confusing me as a child. All this color instead of colour nonesense.*Shakes fist* Had the same problem when I moved to the States from England. Got laughed at because I was in a Honors class and spelt it with a "u". I still do it sometimes. My teachers talk to me after class to point out a word I spelt in English on my papers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dwarfie76 Posted February 26, 2006 Share Posted February 26, 2006 1996 called. They want their funny back. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
____ Posted February 26, 2006 Share Posted February 26, 2006 Had the same problem when I moved to the States from England. Got laughed at because I was in a Honors class and spelt it with a "u". I still do it sometimes. My teachers talk to me after class to point out a word I spelt in English on my papers.I had a substitute teacher from the USA in highschool once. She always kept taking marks off students for "wrong spelling" and then having to put them back because she kept getting reminded that we spell things differently here in Australia :P Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greatsilverwyrm Posted February 26, 2006 Share Posted February 26, 2006 1996 called. They want their funny back. Decades ago called. They want their joke back. And yes, I realize the irony, hush. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
runesmithie Posted February 26, 2006 Share Posted February 26, 2006 Hey, we needed to save money during the revolutionary war by removing Os from words like favour and colour. Looks better also, IMO. :wink: Would you do me a favur and tell me why exactly the o was removed from colur? I think you mean the u's :P I just posted something! ^_^ to the terrorist...er... kirbybeam. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
punk4ever Posted February 26, 2006 Author Share Posted February 26, 2006 1996 called. They want their funny back. Well thank you for that information. I never realized that a joke had an expiration date on it. I'm sure there are users who haven't seen it before. By The_Jeppoz :wink: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
knives669 Posted February 26, 2006 Share Posted February 26, 2006 I gave up reading that by the last paragraph... :? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pete_the_Viscous Posted February 26, 2006 Share Posted February 26, 2006 Well thank you for that information. I never realized that a joke had an expiration date on it. I'm sure there are users who haven't seen it before. Such as myself. Very good. deviantart account Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blipo Posted February 26, 2006 Share Posted February 26, 2006 *applauds* Very well written, nice find. I take shelter in speaking Canadian. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
weezcake Posted February 27, 2006 Share Posted February 27, 2006 Hey, we needed to save money during the revolutionary war by removing Os from words like favour and colour. Looks better also, IMO. :wink: Would you do me a favur and tell me why exactly the o was removed from colur? I think you mean the u's :P lol :roll: Because I just love my colurs. ==================================Retired tip.it moderator.Teaching and inspiring. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clone93 Posted February 27, 2006 Share Posted February 27, 2006 Ha, that got really hard to read at the end. That article is hilarious. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xxsheepxx Posted February 27, 2006 Share Posted February 27, 2006 Er... I speak American, not English. :? hah well, i speak californian.. its a bit like ohioan. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cardsfan Posted February 28, 2006 Share Posted February 28, 2006 definately one of the funnier things ive seen lately. i'l start talking lik zis mor oftn :wink: R.I.P. Shiva Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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