I'm not sure if this has been posted before, but it made me laugh :) Enjoy!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English

 

 

 

will be the official language of the EU rather than German which was the

 

 

 

other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government

 

 

 

conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has

 

 

 

accepted a 5 year phase-in plan that would be known as "Euro-English".

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will

 

 

 

make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in

 

 

 

favour of the"k". This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have

 

 

 

1 less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond

 

 

 

year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will

 

 

 

make words like "fotograf" 20% shorter.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be ekspekted

 

 

 

to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

 

 

 

Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have

 

 

 

always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the

 

 

 

horible mes of the silent "e"s in the language is disgraseful, and they

 

 

 

should go away.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing

 

 

 

"th"

 

 

 

with "z" and "w" with "v". During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be

 

 

 

dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and similar changes vud of kors be

 

 

 

aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no

 

 

 

mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi to understand ech

 

 

 

ozer. Ze drem vil finali kum tru! And zen ve vil tak over ze vorld!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The original article can be found at this link:

 

 

 

http://www.polishnews.com/text/humor/eu ... glish.html

I no speeken ze english aftr zat apens...French for me :wink:

You know, if that was actually the case (obviously, it isn't, because of the URL), then I think I will switch to making fun of the British rather than the French.

Er... I speak American, not English. :?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

hah

Er... I speak American, not English. :?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

hah

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Curse you Americans confusing me as a child. All this color instead of colour nonesense.*Shakes fist*

Hey, we needed to save money during the revolutionary war by removing Os from words like favour and colour. Looks better also, IMO. :wink:

 

Er... I speak American, not English. :?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

hah

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Curse you Americans confusing me as a child. All this color instead of colour nonesense.*Shakes fist*

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Had the same problem when I moved to the States from England. Got laughed at because I was in a Honors class and spelt it with a "u".

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I still do it sometimes. My teachers talk to me after class to point out a word I spelt in English on my papers.

1996 called. They want their funny back.

Had the same problem when I moved to the States from England. Got laughed at because I was in a Honors class and spelt it with a "u".

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I still do it sometimes. My teachers talk to me after class to point out a word I spelt in English on my papers.

I had a substitute teacher from the USA in highschool once. She always kept taking marks off students for "wrong spelling" and then having to put them back because she kept getting reminded that we spell things differently here in Australia :P

1996 called. They want their funny back.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Decades ago called. They want their joke back.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And yes, I realize the irony, hush.

Hey, we needed to save money during the revolutionary war by removing Os from words like favour and colour. Looks better also, IMO. :wink:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Would you do me a favur and tell me why exactly the o was removed from colur?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I think you mean the u's :P

1996 called. They want their funny back.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Well thank you for that information. I never realized that a joke had an expiration date on it. I'm sure there are users who haven't seen it before.

I gave up reading that by the last paragraph... :?

 

 

 

Well thank you for that information. I never realized that a joke had an expiration date on it. I'm sure there are users who haven't seen it before.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Such as myself. Very good.

*applauds*

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Very well written, nice find.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I take shelter in speaking Canadian.

 

Hey, we needed to save money during the revolutionary war by removing Os from words like favour and colour. Looks better also, IMO. :wink:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Would you do me a favur and tell me why exactly the o was removed from colur?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I think you mean the u's :P

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

lol :roll:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Because I just love my colurs.

Ha, that got really hard to read at the end. That article is hilarious.

Er... I speak American, not English. :?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

hah

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

well, i speak californian.. its a bit like ohioan.

definately one of the funnier things ive seen lately. i'l start talking lik zis mor oftn :wink: