terley Posted March 13, 2006 Share Posted March 13, 2006 He's been going out with this girl for the last month and they're really in love, he's just 17, she's 20. They've done everything together and have a healthy relationship, he takes her out and I don't think they ever argue.. Everythings great right?? Well just last week she admitted she's got a 4 year old boy and a 1 year old girl, from her past relationship.. He's gobsmacked and wants nothing to do with kids, cus he's still a kid himself, and doesn't even have any attachement to these children.. He still loves her but it seems like they're finding it hard atm, she's trying to not scare him away and he's tied between loving (first stage love) her and not wanting children. I know theres a 3 year gap, but she's still only looks, acts 17, and has plently of mates from 16-20. Anyone got any advice cus im stumped, he keeps textin me lookin for support, and all I can say atm is the obvious, "Im sure it'll work out.." God help his parents when they find out. :shock: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WutangFlu Posted March 13, 2006 Share Posted March 13, 2006 so is mine.. im trying to talk him out of killing himself.. (no im not joking) its been going on for 2.5 days.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
____ Posted March 13, 2006 Share Posted March 13, 2006 [bleep] he's screwed if he doesn't want to be a parent. But, she's a package deal. And he's going to have to come to a decision about that himself. I seriously wouldn't push him to do anything. In time he might just accept the fact that the person he loves has kids. It happens. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xxsheepxx Posted March 13, 2006 Share Posted March 13, 2006 maybe theyre not really ready for a really serious relationship yet, if he can't accept things like that. if he thinks he's still a kid, then maybe he's not ready for that.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Futurama Posted March 13, 2006 Share Posted March 13, 2006 Personally, i'd leg it away the minute i heard. He's 17, got his whole life ahead of him. And aside from that, she's not even told him, personally i'd take that the same as lieing, and when its something this big.. You can either spend the next month or so feeling depressed for leaving someone you love or spending the rest of your life the way you wanna spend it. Thats how i see it anyways...get out, now :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gothic_Hell Posted March 13, 2006 Share Posted March 13, 2006 Sorry but , if he loved her he woudnt be gobsmacked when finding out she has kids and really should have found out everythign about her in the 1st place. Its his own fault - he rushed. Personally i think its her fault too... she should have been more honest with him before knowing that he might have feelings for her, afterall, hes still a kid as u said. Be a good friend and advise him to dump her, the sooner you do it the easier it will get. Just tell him to get another girlfreind or something, all i know even if they will be together he would be ruining his life with kids at an early stage and the relationship wount last long! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mercifull Posted March 13, 2006 Share Posted March 13, 2006 Meh I'd leg it to be honest. 2 kids at 20, one of which is going to be going to school in a year. Too much baggage, id certainly advise against it at his age. How did he not know she had kids, does he not go to her house? Mercifull <3 Suzi "We don't want players to be able to buy their way to success in RuneScape. If we let players start doing this, it devalues RuneScape for others. We feel your status in real-life shouldn't affect your ability to be successful in RuneScape" Jagex 01/04/01 - 02/03/12 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stuart_G Posted March 13, 2006 Share Posted March 13, 2006 If hiding the two kids is any indication of what their relationship could end up being like, i would most certainly brake it off. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rizla Posted March 13, 2006 Share Posted March 13, 2006 If i was in his shoes there would be a Rizla shaped hole in the door as soon as i found out. At 17 you don't need the responsibility of looking after a child, let alone 2 children that aren't even yours. Children are a huge thing in your life, especially when you're not even legally an adult yourself. I guess it's up to him, but does it really sound like a great idea to start a relationship with a girl who's been pregnant twice by the time she hit 20? Kirk and Lars I could handle. At the same time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hellsurfer Posted March 13, 2006 Share Posted March 13, 2006 spose its all to do with how far they want to take it, if shes looking for something more than what they have now, hes going to have to choose for himself i.e leave her but her putting that on him, in a away is pressuring him into making a choice he dont wanna make when hes only 17. and his parents shouldnt be that freaked out if they already knew he was going out with an older woman, the kids may make them like her more sympathy vote pl0x, so its the thin red line all over again, time to stand up for his gut feeling and go threw with it or he may be dragged into a evergrowing hole. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Evilperson Posted March 13, 2006 Share Posted March 13, 2006 Maybe he could convince her to put them up for adoption If not, I would split. Everybody lovin' it, but ain't no body touchin' it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mercifull Posted March 13, 2006 Share Posted March 13, 2006 Maybe he could convince her to put them up for adoption If not, I would split. Dude they are 4 and 1. Can you imagine taking children that age away from thier mother? They arnt babies. Mercifull <3 Suzi "We don't want players to be able to buy their way to success in RuneScape. If we let players start doing this, it devalues RuneScape for others. We feel your status in real-life shouldn't affect your ability to be successful in RuneScape" Jagex 01/04/01 - 02/03/12 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vape Posted March 13, 2006 Share Posted March 13, 2006 Give it time. I don't think he can really understand anything much about love at age 17 after only going out with her for a month. Stuart_G makes an excellent point too - hiding information from each other is not an indication of a healthy relationship. I think the key here is not to do anything too rash - it'll hurt. He needs to take a good long time to really think about what he thinks love is and about how he thinks this relationship could affect his life. I'm not saying it's not possible for it to work out, thousands of years ago couples started ahving children in their teens, but in today's society he has to consider other things such as further education and work. For all those people who'd say they'd leg it, that's easy to tell another guy, but what would you do if you current partner revealed similar information to you? Don't say it's not possible, just be hypothetical here. Regardless, I think leaving the relationship would be the best thing to do. Where the bloody hell are you? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Invidious Posted March 13, 2006 Share Posted March 13, 2006 Is your friend in love? Or is it the much more common Lust? From my point of view it seems like it's Lust. A older woman who is quite desirable(Hence the two children), but can he see beyond that? I'm also thinking that this older girl really is interested in your friend. Her willingness to finally tell your friend that she has 2 children is a sign of trust. Another question to ask would be the financial and academic levels. Money is a big factor when dealing with children... Personally, if I were your friend I would break it off. Not only because of the daunting task of holding some responsibility over 2 children but because I have never so far had a moderately successful relationship with a older woman... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stevester77 Posted March 13, 2006 Share Posted March 13, 2006 He's been going out with this girl for the last month and they're really in love, he's just 17, she's 20. They've done everything together Well just last week she admitted she's got a 4 year old boy and a 1 year old girl, from her past relationship.. She already has 2 kids from a previous relationship and she's still screwing around? Now thats a smart one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bubsa Posted March 13, 2006 Share Posted March 13, 2006 Sounds like a really loving relationship if you hide something as significant as that from your partner. Jumping to a conclusion here, but I think she just wants a father for her kids. If your mate leaves her, which I think he should, I'd be suprised if she was really devastated and not suprised if she goes to dig her claws in somewhere else. This is how much you all raised for charity. Thank you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ddun Posted March 13, 2006 Share Posted March 13, 2006 If she has 2 kids tell him to dump her now. History repeats itself. A 20 year old with 2 kids is just sad. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dwarfie76 Posted March 13, 2006 Share Posted March 13, 2006 Well, she had to tell him sometime. And it's not exactly the sort of information that tends to bring men running to a woman's door. Whatever her past mistakes might have been she's accepted them and is trying to make a go of being a mother to her two children. She also has a right to try and find a life partner who will make her happy. However, I don't think your seventeen year old friend is neccessarily mature enough to deal with the prospect of becomming an instant dad. I know I wouldn't have been at seventeen. If he can't handle it - and I don't think many people would think badly of him for not wanting to - then he should be open and honest about his reasons. He hasn't done anything wrong and there's no reason why the two of them can't remain friends after the fact. However, I do know some guys who became fathers at 16, 17, 18 years old and managed very well, so he might decide that this is what he wants given time. But honesty and respect are probably the two key issues here. Without them there is nowhere to go but separate ways. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dusqi Posted March 13, 2006 Share Posted March 13, 2006 what happened to the biological father? For it is the greyness of dusk that reigns.The time when the living and the dead exist as one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sp4de Posted March 14, 2006 Share Posted March 14, 2006 Well first off I gotta say is illegal (isnt it?) Next, even if you are truely in love, and some things don't click. It's not right then! Or if he was truely in love he could look past it. Meh, I have an opposite opinion of my own opinion :P Yeah I don't make sense. ÃÆââ¬Å¡Ãâï(ÃÆââ¬Å¡Ãâú_o)/ÃÆââ¬Å¡Ãâï Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now