My Problems, I need advice

[hiimben]

To start off with, do not spam this this thread, I don't want this locked.

 

 

 

Also, if this shouldn't be posted then remove or lock it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ok. Well for starters, I constantly get very angry inside because of my mother, who's way of life (to me) is to purely rely on others and to backstab or do whatever just to stop herself from being in the wrong. She deny's ever being wrong and whenever I put forth an argument to show why she is right, even though I say it as calmy as possible, she has a fit and is angry at me for the next few days. She is a hypocrite and I have told her about it, to which her response was how she was never so insulted in her life , blah blah blah. I try to just ignore small comments but it all builds up. My father, who knows I'm right, backs my mother on anything no matter how wrong she may be and he yells at me for little reason at all. Like this afternoon, we are leaving for a funeral and she asks a question whether I have other pants to take. I say there are some in my room, but she then quickly says she said do the pants need to be hemmed. I was confused and my dad continues to yell at me for it. Leading me to feeling depressed, and at times feeling as if suicide would be a good option, and I don't want to lead to violence.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

So any posts on what to do are helpful.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And I often find myself lacking in motivation to do anything, no matter how fun it is.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Posts to help with this are encouraged too.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Thanks in advance

 

 

 

Ben

[Star_Fox]

im sorry your parents are going against you. :(

 

 

 

the best thing to do right now is probably agree with your parents decisions, even if it sounds bad, parents cant harm or do anything bad to you.

 

 

 

hope everything turns out well, stay out of trouble, especally suicide :oops:

[Diminished2b]

im sorry your parents are going against you. :(

 

 

 

the best thing to do right now is probably agree with your parents decisions, even if it sounds bad, parents cant harm or do anything bad to you.

 

 

 

hope everything turns out well, stay out of trouble, especally suicide :oops:

 

 

 

Tell that to my friend, his mother slipped pills in his drink when he was a kid.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Anyways, it's parents.

 

 

 

Your father doesn't want to get `thrown in the dog house` by your mother.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Just wait until you can drive, it's a nice escape from the house.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Get out, do more. Do you have any hobbies? Find something you really enjoy doing and follow it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Moreso, many people are depressed. Most people will be depressed at least two times in their life.

[hiimben]

I'm 13 and my parents don't trust me to go anywhere unless there right by myside, but thanks for the help :D

[Diminished2b]

Try earning your independence.

 

 

 

As a kid, my parents would never let me cross the highway where most of the kids lived. It took a long time to convince them to let me cross. When I did for the first time, it was much easier to get them to let me go the second time. After the fourth of fifth time, I could just tell them I was going and they let me.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Though, you have to understand that your parents love you. They just don't want to see you go wondering off, get hit by a car, or get kidnapped, even though the odds of something like this are very small. My parents used to tell me that they trust me, but they don't trust all of the crazy people out there. :)

[hiimben]

Thanks, but the people at school don't really involve me much in out of school activities and I live quite far away. So I have nowhere to go outside. I guess I could ask if I could go to the movies by myself or with my brother. We live fairly close to there. :)

[hiimben]

I'm just gonna not respond to your post Shin.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

They are really laying on the insults tonight. Pointing out the obvious and yelling at me when I don't do something right the first time. :cry:

[assassin_696]

Shin, grow up. You've been warned about this before, you know what'll happen.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

As for your problems, i'm sorry to hear about it, it doesn't sound like an easy situation to be in at all. My only suggestion would maybe be to appease your mother for a while. As hard as it is, concede every possible argument with her, just be neutral and placid and see how she is then.

[hiimben]

Thanks Assassin, I have tried it recently but I do think she just wants to bait me. But oh well, once school gets back together hopefully it will be better. People there respect me and such, I'm good at school :P

[Shin]

Shin, grow up. You've been warned about this before, you know what'll happen.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

As for your problems, i'm sorry to hear about it, it doesn't sound like an easy situation to be in at all. My only suggestion would maybe be to appease your mother for a while. As hard as it is, concede every possible argument with her, just be neutral and placid and see how she is then.

 

 

 

T____________T Fiiiiiiiiiiiiine.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

As for you mother, I have this same problem many times before. She changes her mind, and then later she tells me its unacceptable and should have went with what she told me before. Yes, that makes her an exact hypocrite.

 

 

 

But have you ever tried talking to her before? Try being assertive in your tone of voice, not aggressive. I'm sure it will work.

[hiimben]

I am a calm person for the most part. You'll pretty much only see me calm or really angry :(

[Guest]

Runaway from home and join the circus?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Or maybe just wait a few years till you have the opportunity to leave home, and be patient until then and you'll be fine. Once out of the home you won't have to put up with stuff like that. And try to communicate better (if possible) with your parents, it may work.

[zeekyhbomb]

Honestly, parents don't listen, its a fact of life. This should not be leading you to consider suicide. Most parents that I know act like this, on the mothers parts its really just because she cares about you, and on the fathers he is just supporting your mother because he doesn't want to get on the wrong side of your mom. Just be a bit more understanding of why they are acting like this.

[hiimben]

Thanks for the advice everyone. And so you know, it wasn't only my parents treating me that led me to feeling suicidal. My life was pretty bad at both school and home then. I felt that there was no reason to live :cry: But school is better now :)

[warri0r45]

I feel sorry for you. If your parents (especially your father, as he seems to be doing nothing [going along with your mother just to avoid arguing with her?] and making the problem worse) loved you at all or had any brains, they would stop treating you like [cabbage]. Your mother is obviously acting like a hypocritic [bleep] and should really wake up to herself.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

My advice? Let them know how you feel, let them know how sad you feel and the misery and dispair you feel. If that dosent work... :?: Perhaps find relatives to live with. :-k

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

p.s. I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings by saying your mum is a [bleep], but reading this story really makes me a bit upset for you and humanity in general.

[Lionheart_0]

I would actually try and mention this to the principle, or someone of good authority when you return to school. You basically have a right (Although you live in Aussie land, here in Canada, its a Right) To have to verbal abuse and to be kept happy by your parents. Try and get other people involved to the point that your parents cant run from their lies. then you can make them look like fools in the end.

[Maxidataxi]

For a while you should become a complete slave. Do whatever you think your mom wants you to do without her telling you , answer all her questions quickly and in perfect english like you are a robot , when you're with your family sit still like a robot and do nothing but what you're supposed to. I believe after doing that something would happen.

[SuziAngel]

You poor thing. Most people go through tough patches, I'm afraid that it's part of life. I think a good many of us have at some time contemplated or maybe even attempted suicide. That is not the anwser. Thing's always seem worse at your age, your hormones will make any problem seem 10 times bigger. Just hang in there, eventually thing's will improve. Don't ever feel alone, there's lots of people on here who want to talk to you. And just remember, you are a fantastic person.

[andufusthebronze]

well, I've got it like that, but diffrent. Its hard to cope, the thing that keeps me going is that if you try hard enough one day something has to happen. try your best to get in the good books, and insults hurt more when someone close says them

[vladmoney]

Since most of the ideas have been mentioned try, I suggest you start annoying the crap out of your parents. This actually solved some problems at home for someone i know. First of become a total slave, but make its very obvious, like if she does something hypocritical just say something like "omg you are right, how could I have doubted you, your perfect." Say it sincirely, admit to your mistake even if you are right. Even though you end up doing what she wants you to, in a way you are obviously stating that she is completely wrong. Also tell her that you didn't hear her correctly, and its not your fault and that she should speak up next time (and next time she does speak up, you will know what to do once you read more down). If she says "are you deaf?", say "i guess i am (probably because of all that yelling you guys do)." If ever an arguement occurs, ignore them completely. Nothing annoys an adult or even a person more, when during an arguement the person is just completely ignoring them. Trust me, its the ultimate tool, its full proof. Just walk around the house, grab a snack, while they are yelling at you. If they grab you and start yelling at you, just stare them down, and when they finish, walk off. Don't say a word, never loose your cool or they win. Also don't forget to slip in some smart-[wagon] comments. If you catch doing even something accidently stupid (no matter how small), make sure you slip in a quiet "woow that wasn't smart" comment (so they hear). Say "calm down" a lot when they are talking loud. Like if they are talking loud on the phone or across the house just walk by and tell them to "calm down". If they try to explain to you that they weren't actually arguing, just walk off and ignore anything they have to say. "grow up" is a good one too. Annoying your parents has to perfected were they can't do anything about it. Soon their powers will become obsolete, they will realize that they don't have much sway over you. Though your mother will always be a hypocrite, she will think twice before starting something with you. Annoying your parents can't be summerized, these are just some ideas to start you off, its a constant battle to make them loose their cool while really doing nothing wrong yourself. Always have a good comment to anything they have to say, and if yelling ever starts just play the ultimate ignore trick.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I am not joking either btw.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

http://youtube.com/watch?v=Lp_22bzYKXs :P

[hiimben]

Thanks guys, I'm off to the funeral today. Hopefully seeing some of the family, etc, might open her eyes a bit. My brother is on a 3 month student exchange to Italy, so when he gets back I think it will be better because he usually helps mum stay off my back :

[indy500fan]

Your situation isn't much different than millions of other families. The best thing to do is just live with it the best you can. Your parents do a lot for you, don't take them for granted. Seems like most of the problems are when you are talking to them, so that is easy to fix. Just don't talk to them anymore. If they ask you a question you should answer, just never start a conversation with them. Get a hobby that you can do in your room (heh), so that the only time you are with them is during supper or on your way in or out.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And don't kill yourself, because if you do it will be pretty stupid. There are many, many, many people who have worse lives than you. Teenage depressions happen to almost everyone, yours is nothing special.

[anonimu]

Well that's gotta suck... You know there's something a lot like suicide, except it's not as bad... It's called "not caring about your life or anyone else's since unless there's an infinite amount of dimensions everything is predestined"... It's what I do, and so far nothing bad's happened, except most people who see me at home think I'm lazy...

[hiimben]

I was feeling as if suicide was a good option because my parents always found ways out of everyday situations and my school life was bad and other bad things in my life. I know I would never actually do it but I still felt it would be better if I did. But school has gotten better and I havent felt like that for a long time.

[hiimben]

I'm back :D Nice to see this was kept bumped :P

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Anyways, The funeral changed nothing. She went up saying great things about the people who lived with the dead person and left saying hurtful comments behind their backs because of how they ran the funeral and their funeral arrangments for themselves. I was trying to show she was obviously wrong in a subtle way but she refused to believe it and still behaved badly towards me. So, I was a bit angry and it showed in what I did. Now, when I get home, and she changes her mind about what she asked me, say's "I'm in more trouble than Speed Gordon (she overuses that phrase)" Gah, I guess theres no more point in trying :( May as well just wait out the 5 years till I can move out. :?