Zonorhc

Yeah, holy crap, my car was covered in little dents.

Does the expression give it away?

OM NOM NOM NOM NOM.

What happened to my other readers?

You'd still hear the engines, smell the fuel and exhaust, see the tracks on the ground... And it'll be expensive.

Lame post is lame.

Bear hunter. Fills all your criteria. DO IT.

Spacebattles is very lenient with regard to language and thematic content. Common sense applies. The other board I frequent, I'm not supposed to talk about because of Rules 1 and 2.

Nightwish - The Poet and the Pendulum

Also, you can't go wrong with using more original names. I personally find it hard to immerse myself into a story where the main character has a plain old modern name like Steve or John.

I don't think you're adding anything except for your character. You're basically telling the story of the game. You have to describe what's happening. Show the reader what's going on, rather than just telling them "this happened, then this happened". Your characters aren't reacting to any of the events; they're just going along with them. There is nothing to draw a reader in because your narrative is limited to "We walked here, then we did this. We walked somewhere else, and did something else." Giving the names of places isn't enough; you have to describe them and make the world seem alive. And if you didn't want criticism and feedback, or react poorly to it as you've shown, maybe you're posting in the wrong place.

You're just paraphrasing what's in the manual. You have the same problem as that Seer person in that you don't quite seem to grasp what it means to be creative with your writing. Fanfiction is all well and good, but there's no point to it if all you're doing is recounting the story of the game.

It's moving too quickly. There's absolutely no description beyond vague hand-waving of events, and you're basically assuming that everyone has played Guild Wars and knows what you're talking about when you refer to Shiro and the factions. Also, you're more or less just recounting the story of GW: Factions. For those who haven't played it, your story is confusing because you offer no explanation for anything. For those who have, it's trite and dull because everything is just regurgitated and there aren't any new concepts to explore. If you did something creative with it, then you might get somewhere.

I think it sounds a little clumsy. There's too much dialogue. There isn't enough description to support it, and the reader only gets a really vague idea of the world around the characters. What you should probably do is avoid introducing all the characters at the start, and work them all in gradually, so they don't confuse the reader with the sheer amount of dialogue between them. Also, you probably should try not to make it sound so much like a session of tabletop Dungeons and Dragons.

Steak is a relatively painless and simple item of food to make. And it is delicious with just a bit of pepper.

Everything. Everyday, I find a target-rich environment waiting for me. It is glorious.

We have to reanimate that woman and have her shot for giving that much money to a dog.

I believe morality should be an incidental topic of discussion in class, rather than an entirely separate subject with its own curriculum. Actively teaching it would give students the wrong idea; they should be given stimuli and guidelines and left to discover and define morality in their own way, rather than have someone else's imposed on them.

Pretty things I can stare at. Like sunsets and mountains. And swords.

Manowar - Call to Arms

The Old Testament God was more of a badass than the New Testament God can ever hope to be. Just putting it out there.

:XD: I wonder if acclaimed psychic mediums are trained in this? :-k I don't think having your legs broken is something you can really train for.

Just putting this out there, but... Azathoth.

Mel knows too much. Ninjas are on their way to break your legs.

I play both and enjoy them for their respective merits. You know, you don't have to take sides on the issue. I find Guild Wars easier to work into my schedule when I have uni, because it doesn't have the pressure that comes with paying for your play time like WoW does. It's easy for me to whip up a PVP character and play a few rounds in Random Arenas when I'm procrastinating for essays. But when I don't have any overly pressing matters to attend to, I like WoW because I can spend hours on end playing it.