Harakiri

Not everything, but a lot of things.

I personally saw "Webcomic" and thought, "Well, nothing could be worse then all the sprite comics based on Sonic the Hedgehog my friend made me read with him last night". To put it bluntly, I would rather relive last nights 250 Tony The Hedgehog comics then your four comics. I guess you are trying to be funny by adding in random stuff about "peeps" and "I haven't hit puberty" or whatever. Comics are not a good way to do that random kind of humor like Caboose does in RvB where he interjects in the middle of a conversation to say something stupid. At least when he does it, it's funny. The art style is horrendous. It looks like MS Paint meets a preschool art class. I have to agree with others and I think you should quit while your ahead. Do it for fun at home to practice drawing skills maybe, but I would definitely not post it anywhere else because it is one of the most god awful things I have seen in a while. Just take my word for it, because we're being nice. Post this on some other forum based specifically on webcomics and I don't think you will want to even continue drawing or doing comics. Please don't. To bad we will =P Don't treat this as a game. If you were just posting this at the website specifically and not advertising it, then that would be fine, but advertising this was opening you up for criticism, especially here. I wouldn't treat it as funny or a game that my work was being laughed at. You don't have much talent in this area, you or your friend. If it is for fun that is fine, but treating it seriously is not the right approach, because this isn't what you two were apparently born to do. Maybe if you practice you might get better, but to me, doing comics isn't your calling. Neither is being a comedian.

I personally don't understand the whole thing with the microchips. I didn't even realize there was one in my toaster... I really have no clue what to do to survive the evil microchips because I have never heard of an evil microchip. Nanobots, yes. Computers, yes. Electronics themselves, yes. Microchips...eh, no. I know this thread is just for fun, but microchips just sounds stupid. Hacking electronics themselves somehow is fine, but microchips? IDEAS FLOATING AROUND AND MY IDEAS ON THEM: Toasters-I personally don't understand why there would be a microchip in a toaster unless it has a clock on it and a timer. Toasters would not be a threat specifically because their only use is toasting bread and bagels. What are they going to do, burn our bread? The only slightly hurtful thing they could do is stay on so long that the house burns down in some odd way. But mine has a ten minute limit and then you have to press the button down to start it again. Radio Frequency- I don't think anyone will be able to create a radio frequency so powerful it can hack into every microchip around the world. I know very little about radio frequencies, but it just sounds stupid that somebody could remotely control a little microchip in, say, a digital watch to turn the watch into an evil creature of the devil. Heck, there are different things with microchips in them, with different uses. How can a radio frequency play with the specific violent use of an item if it is just one radio frequency? Even multiple ones just sounds like it is impossible. Furbys-First question that comes to my mind, Does anyone actually still have a Furby? I remember when they gave those bastards out as toys at McDonalds. And do you really think something like that would have the power to scream so loud it would hurt? I would beat the crap out of that thing, how hard could that be? Computer-You describe very well the extent of it's power "It will keep flashing". There is very little a computer can do. Maybe turn on loud music, play porn when your mom comes downstairs to see why the music is so loud. But I can't see why you should be afraid when their is the magical power of bricks to consider. Kettle-Um...I'm assuming you were speaking of the stove. Thankfully I don't drink hot tea, nor do I use a kettle to make iced tea. It might over-fry my spam when I stick it on the stove, but other then that, what do I care? Heck, all you need is a woodburning stove to get out of that situation, and I don't think they cost that much. Phone-You phone will vibrate? Seriously? Scary stuff. If my phone were to act up it would probably start calling my ex girlfriend over and over and over randomly. Or texting her telling her really nasty things. But once again, the magic of the brick compels you! Lawn Mowers-I don't know if lawnmowers now have microchips, I guess riding mowers do. But only the rich people and old people who can't walk very well yet have the biggest damn lawns on the block seem to have those. I have an older one that you just have to pull the cord to start up. I guess it could have a chip in it since it does start up electrically from a key, but I seriously doubt there is much a mower could do. It's not like it will have the power to left itself up and chop me up. It'll probably be one of those things that people run from, trip and then get run over by. I wouldn't be scared. Plus, lawnmowers would not be able to move by themselves, so they would just be sitting there idol, until the gas runs out. Electronic Toys- Jesus Christ. The poor girls with their singing Barbie Dolls! Barbie will continue to sing nonstop. I don't think this is a really good topic of discussion, just because none of the items with microchips can move and pick up any kind of weapon. People personally have to activate the stuff too, not all items with microchips can do something without a human helping turn it on or pressing buttons. They can screw up our food or flash porn on our computers, but there is no survival involved in a situation like that.

I hope that is a joke. It took me a moment to realize that those pink blobs were supposed to say 2012

Dear Jagflax, Your recent updates have been very bad and I wish you would realize this and quit updating! Instead of doing your own updates you need to ask your fans what we want! It's all about us, you should know that! You need to treat us like spoiled rich white kids and give us what we want! In other words, if we don't want it, don't do it! Listen to us and do what we want! Your friend, Est0rrath I feel bad for Jagex having to put up with this. "Jagex listen to us!" I am sure Jagex does read quite a bit of these kind of rants. You complain when Jagex updates, then you complain when they don't update. Everything Jagex does is wrong. If everything they do is wrong, what's to say that when they ask for player input that will not turn out good? An update with, say, lasers as Bauke said. What's to say they will make the special attack of the laser (I opt for the name "Death Star Planet Exploder") so powerful that any PKer with it can destroy everyone in the game? If your not happy with Jagex now I don't know how giving them suggestions for updates will make the game any better. They will still screw up somehow, because anymore with every update comes a wave of rants.

Oh, getting drunk sounds good.

I still prefer the traditional medals. Sure it's good to see some change, but I don't think this is the right direction. It's too abstract and weird. It might look good somewhere else, but not something as big as the Olympics. I am sure this is going to spark controversy all over when word really spreads since this is a relatively new development.

Oh man, my favorite series of games were the Sonic games, so I remember having every one of the originals. I was born in '94 and my grandma still had her NES from the 80's and before I discovered the fact that there were PSX's and N64's I sat around playing Super Mario Bros...Here's the list of NES games I remember spending hours on: -Super Mario Bros -Tiger Heli -Top Gun -There was one about a cat collecting yarn, I remember he always said "Bogus". Then I found out my Dad was hiding the PSX, which I don't think I ever played. Then he bought an N64 specifically to play Goldeneye 007. I remember playing mutliplayer against him and kicking his [wagon] all the time with the cop character. Then we got the Xbox. I remember the first game we got was Halo. Didn't like it then, don't like it now. And we got SSX Tricky. That was a pretty sweet game. I wish I could find another copy of that somewhere because that was a great game. Somewhere around nine years old I got the GBA, which would become my best friend. I remember I spent hours playing a Scorpion King game that I never beat. There was some Zelda game, and then a Yu-Gi-Oh game that I spent hours and hours and hours playing. The GBA fell though and half the screen turned black :sad: Rest In Peace my Gameboy Advanced.

I don't give out candy specifically because everyone in my neighborhood trick or treats. The kids are fine but the parents now? What the heck? And then the [cabbage] "My sister is sick". Yeah, good for her, then that means she doesn't need candy. Greedy little kids. I'm thinking about doing something really bad to scare people away from my door (nobody understands why my lights are off apparently). I might use some fake blood and a giant sheet of plastic to do a pentagram. I might nail an upside down cross to my door. I might steal some dead rats from my grandmas attic to throw on the doorstep. That should keep those damn kids away. And while they don't knock on my door and interrupt my movie watching, I'll probably be watching a random assortment of eighties flicks starting with Evil Dead 2 because no Halloween is complete without Bruce Campbell. (I hope what I described isn't too morbid) SIDENOTE: I love when parents are driving their cars alongside their kids while the kids Trick or Treat. The parents are to lazy to get out and walk with their kids so there is always a bunch of soccer mom vans following a group of kids around the street. It amuses me to no end.

So we shift from the traditional medals to whatever the hell these things are? Who in their right mind came up with this? Reading this, we get a better understanding for what these are supposed to be: I don't care what they changed the medals for, I personally have no idea why they would do it. I prefer the round ones a hundred percent more then these. Any thoughts?

Yes, that video is in fact the one I based a lot of my ranting on. Machinima.com, for lack of a better set of words, are money [bleep]. They get paid for each and every video they do. About a year ago, I remember it was always more machinima, less crap. Now, because Youtube is apparently paying them a lot to post videos, they now decide to post random crap like reviews for games, previews for games, and things that have nothing to do with machinima.

Okay, let me get some ideas down because at the moment I only need three for the three main features, maybe guest articles have their own banner. What I really want is a new banner each week for the featured article pertaining to the subject. I don't know if that's too much work for you, but if you want to do that I'll just send you the basic idea of each banner or picture I would like to see. And don't worry about contributing articles all the time, because it will just be nice for a change to have a guest write an article, the paper feels much better when you read it and see more than Ratchet's ramblings and discussions. To tell the truth, idea-wise, I'm drawing a blank for anything really, really awesome at the moment. What I want to do for now is work with a specific genre each week. It might be cool to look at different genres. One week I want to do a whole article about the covers of books. Maybe some writing for comics and movies and video games since I've sort of talked about it in the past. That's the plan anyway, and this Saturday I'll post the second issue.

You want to sign on as the leader of the graphics department? And a contributor, just so I can throw some credits on the bottom of the paper?

Werewolves are bad guys... No, werewolves can be people just like you and me and can live in our society, not all of them are murderers. And of course, werewolves have a feud with vampires.

I ultimately have no talent with banners so I just decided to work with what I could do. If you can do banners that would be great. I just couldn't find anything better than that. I couldn't get the code for your original banner because of the forum switchover, but if you think you can do the same basic kind of things with the banners with the same text I would greatly appreciate it! :-D

VOLUME 2|ISSUE 1| October 12, 2009 INTRODUCTION I might as well start this first issue of the second volume by welcoming any returning readers and welcoming anybody who has not read the previous eight issues of volume 1. I was expecting to do at least two more issues before stopping, but that ultimately did not happen because of school and other things getting in the way. But Volume 2 will be either a weekly or bi-weekly affair depending on how much time I have on my hands. Every issue will be posted sometime on Saturday, except for this one, which is the only exception. Hopefully everyone who is returning remembers that this is not just for entertainment, but to help create a stronger community. The Coffee Shoppe was a failed experiment in creating a more mature forum, and through this weekly newspaper I am hoping to help build a bit more of a relationship with everyone who participates in the Library. As always there will be a question of the week, and some sort of puzzle or something. There shall be some form of literature posted, and some big discussion on books, writing, or anything else related with the craft. WANT TO HELP? Hey kids, you want to show off your knowledge in the areas of writing and literature? You want to show off your artistic talent or have a short story you want to see in this paper? PM it to me! All submissions are accepted as long as they are pertinent and not something random and stupid. Any images or comics you wish to be posted here can also be sent to me along with an image code. Last volume I allowed Nom Anor to write the paper for a week. Do you want to write the whole paper for the week? PM me and if you post a whole paper with random and stupid stuff it will be deleted and you will not be allowed to submit anything to the paper again. Have fun, be creative and send anything you want to me and I will consider everything and generally accept everything as long as it follows my simple criteria. BOOKS BASED ON GAMES I am going to assume that everyone who writes on the Varrock Library is an amateur writer who wants to get into the big leagues. I am sure none of us are successful, published authors yet. One of the newest trends going around for new authors is writing novels based on video games. There are novels based on movies, but those are usually written by people who have previously published something. Video game novels, on the other hand, with the exception of the first two Splinter Cell novels written by Raymond Chandler, are written by unknown authors. I noticed this when going to the used bookstore and found myself staring at novels based on Hellgate: London by some random Joe Schmo and novels based on Diablo and World of Warcraft. Heck, you could even look at the (somewhat) recent release of the Runescape novel. I usually don't read these books because I write them off as published fan fiction. Sure the company who made the game endorsed it, but I still don't feel that sense of excitement I get when reading a book based from an authors imagination and not based on something already there. And I see that many new authors take advantage of this new craze where people are creating novels based on their favorite games. I personally see no problem in starting a writing career like that, heck, that's probably what I will do if I can't start with some of my own material. While books based on WoW, Runescape, Diablo, and Starcraft I like to write off as long fan fictions, books based on franchises where every game there is a new story is fine, specifically because you aren't exactly adding to the story if every game the story begins and ends. Take Splinter Cell for example. All four games follow the same character, but on different missions that have nothing to do with one another. So books based on some random mission don't add anything to the story, and while I still write it off as fan fic, I don't treat it as critically. Many of the Diablo books try to add to the games story, which is, to me, the ultimate sin. Nobody in their right mind wants to play through a game only to find out that all the plot holes are filled in and some back story is given in a new 300 page book you can buy for 9.99. Thanks to sites like Lulu, players can now pay a measly sum in order to sell their fan-fics. Take for instance The House of El, a World of Warcraft fan-fic novel by Ian Dowson.Here's the description: Yes, he even admits to the fact his novel is full of bad grammar and spelling, a sign that this might not be something you would buy, maybe something you would read on a Warcraft forum. If you really want to get a taste of this book, look at the preview. It is basically a fan fiction by an amateur writer, just like Eric Nylund, author of multiple Halo novels. The only difference between Ian's fan-fic and Eric's is the fact that Eric's was endorsed and had an editor. That's how I think anyway and with more and more novels popping out by authors I have never heard of based on video games (and those who have written other novels usually write fan fic for other series) I find that if you are an amateur writer, maybe your fan fictions can help you get that contract and sell at least a couple novels. You could be the next big thing. Take R.A Salvatore for instance, he wrote the Drizzt novels based on Dungeons and Dragons: Forgotten Realms. His Drizzt series is hugely successful, even if it is a fan fic because while using the lands talked about in this role playing game, he also created something new. Maybe authors writing off of video games should create something new instead of using the same characters mentioned in the series and not trying to fill in plot holes and providing background. Create new characters, use the same settings, but by giving different opinions on the world you get a better understanding of the game and it's world. COMIC [spoiler=THIS COMIC CONTAINS SOME INAPPROPRIATE LANGUAGE ] WHAT TO DO AND WHAT NOT TO DO THE SIMS: THE BOOK: How do you write a book based on a game where anything is possible? You really can't, and that is why a Sims novel is an impossibility and should not be attempted. Would you want to see 200+ pages of this: A failed attempt. POSSIBILITY:1/5 MARIO KART: THE BOOK: I could actually see Mario Kart as the topic of a novel. It would be like a childish version of Death Race. I could also see a movie based on Mario Kart with the theme of it being "I can't drive 55". POSSIBILITY:3/5 GRAND THEFT AUTO 4: THE BOOK: Another impossibility for the sheer fact it is an open world game and who would want to read a book consisting of the random murder of innocents and random cussing and strippers. 200+ Pages of this? 1/5 TEAM FORTRESS 2: THE BOOK: This is one I am torn on specifically because you could do something with it, but it would make no sense unless you explain why the reds are fighting the blues. Could this work as a novel? 3/5 EPILOGUE That is the end of the first issue of volume 1. It is missing some sort of fiction because I already provided you with a couple links to some fan fiction. Probably nothing you would want to read to much of, but it's still there. Next week I'll come up with a better topic to talk about. See you next week! QUESTIONS OF THE WEEK Do you read fan fiction? Do you read novels based on video games? Do you consider novels based on video games fan fiction? Do you write fan fiction? Do you enjoy all of the new images that go with the paper? Will you participate and submit an article for future editions? NEXT WEEK: VOLUME 2 ISSUE 2

^^^That would be the comments left in just about every video on Youtube, it's not just limited to RS because if you look at some of the popular WoW videos there are just as many idiots on there.

The commercials made it seem really scary. Those people in the theater looked like they [cabbage] themselves over and over. I'm assuming they will be handing out adult diapers at the theaters if that is how scary it is. It does look pretty good though from the three seconds of movie and the thirty seconds of people pissing themselves I saw. Might be worth a watch. If I could get a chick to go with me and a bunch of my wimpy friends who wet themselves when watching Casper The Friendly Ghost then it might be something worth going to. Since we are on the subject of horror films and people are talking about not liking them, I can safely say newer horror movies don't seem to try to create cool monsters or people, they keep the stereotypical "Grr...I kill you". I like 1970, 80, and some 90 horror flicks, especially the Nightmare on Elm Street (Freddy is hilarious, he has so much character) and Friday the Thirteenth (If for no other reason than to laugh at all the stereotypical teenagers getting killed by weed whackers). I think Hellraiser and Hellraiser 2 are two of the best horror movies ever made, those were really good.

You probably thought Hancock was good too. No, I thought that was Will Smiths worst role. GI Joe was probably, in my opinion, good because I went in with very, very low expectations. I was thinking along the lines of Transformers 2 bad. I desperately wanted to hate it, but I found it was good. It might have been cheesy and flawed at some points, but it still had enough action to it and suspense that I could sit through the whole thing without groaning (Can't say that for Night At The Museum 2, Transformers 2, and Zombieland(The only other movies I've gone to theaters to see this year))

I like using it for statistical reasons, and I like seeing how many posts I've made altogether.

I've personally thought of this before, the only problem being that you are going to have to hand the password to people you know you can trust, so they don't post random things that have nothing to do with TIF or Runescape. It would be a good idea if executed correctly. I support.

I like a lot of things, but I didn't find the movie that funny. Personally, the last movie in the past year I went to see in theaters that surpassed my expectations was GI JOE Rise of Cobra. I am getting that on DVD, it was really good.

Oddly enough, I did have an idea for a game involving zombies, vampires, and werewolves where you play as a clan of werewolves who enter a town during the zombie invasion. You save the townspeople and assign them specific jobs as you save them, creating a sort of army that defends the city. Say you see a football player getting attacked and you save him. You can then assign him to be a guard for a hospital. Then you can go to the hospital and save people and set them up as doctors and nurses for the wounded. You can get people to be scroungers and they will go to places around the city to grab food and supplies. You can have people on the forefront who kill zombies and save innocents while you are gone, and you progress through a story mode where you learn more about the zombie threat through your werewolf companions, and you also go through and fight the major zombie threats and fight their leaders, a group of crazy vampire cultists who want the world to themselves. By biting people they take away their will and their braincells, thus turning them into walking corpses, though none are bloody or look like the zombies in most stuff, they just look like braindead people. You can tell them apart from the regular people pretty easily though since regular people are the ones screaming for help. I swear to god when I get the time, I am going to write the whole script for the game, create a basic outline of gameplay and mechanics, and then send it in to some game company.

I agree totally with that, and it has nothing to do with the machinima itself, it is just the fact that it exposed more people to the game and created more openings for people to bash it. On one side of the coin, it showed that you can work with Runescape to create something cool with a lot of work. On the other, it showed people Runescape and if you look now, there are more Runescape shows on Machinima.com playing now then WoW machinimas. Which I know is pissing off WoW players who subscribed specifically to see WoW related content.

In late 2007 I quit working on Snake and Noob and moved on to other attempts at writing, some failures, some decent, and some not so good. I will go through a couple with you on my blog comprising of random stuff. My first attempt at writing a script and my first attempt at doing a Robot Chicken-esque story. [spoiler=The Random Show]Our first topic is from a fan named: ANONYMOUS A great name and a better letter. He asked DEAR RANDOM SHOW, Can we see a skit of you making fun of Harry Potter? Yes! We will make fun of Harry Potter. Here is: A Day in the office with the harry potter kids: A DAY IN THE LIFE OF THE DORKY KID WHO'S A STUPID LOSER KID THE CHOSEN ONE LIKE ANAKIN? MUST MEAN HE IS GONNA COMMIT A SIN HARRY POTTER IN THE OFFICE!!!! Harry: I just finished my report to Gringotts about the mysterious disappearance of all that wizard money. Ron: Its all right to say it Harry, I am over laughing when you say it. Harry: Fine. The person who made the money disappear stole all the knuts. Ron: Ha HA HA! You said... Harry: We need to be more mature.We are 36 years old and well... Ron: Harry, you are a true dork. Harry: Why did you say that? Ron: I just had to let it go after all these years. Harry: Oh yeah, well I slept with Hermione one night a couple years ago. Ron: My wife? Oh yeah, well I slept with your wife a couple weeks ago. Harry: Ron, my wife is your sister. RING! Harry: Hullo? Ginny: Harry, I am pregnant. Harry: Excuse me while I tell Ron something...Hay Ron, your youngest daughter is mine. Ginny: What was that? Harry: You heard me woman! Now then, DIE RON! Ron: Can't we just exchange the kids to each other? OW! Your wussy dork punches are hurting me! Ginny: You guys are magicians are you not? Ron: OH YEAH! Harry: I am not, I AM A WIZARD! Ginny: Oh damn you and your role playing games Harry! Just because they call them Wizards in Dungeons and Dragons does not mean that that is what we are. Jerry: Hi there. Jerry Springer here and... THAT WAS QUITE RANDOM WAS IT NOT? Jerry: Will you hush? AND NOW FOR... Him: Another skit? Oh excuse me a moment. Hi, my name is Gimli. Is your child throwing a party and you want one of those cute little midgets to come and do stupid things? Well DON'T ASK ME! I think you are abusing us... Him: And now its time for blackmail! Hello, Mr. Jackson? Your wife is in the audience and we have a couple of people over there with her, about to break her finger. Now the only way to stop this is by sending 5,000,000 dollars to the following number. Priest: I hate this show! So much sin! Him: Hello I would like to get married. Priest: Well I am married but divorce is not to hard. Him: Well, I have a fiance... Priest: Oh, well we can both divorce at the same time! Wouldn't that be exciting! Him: I can break up with her, not divorce her. Priest: You guys hate each other that much eh? Him2: Excuse me priest but will you marry me? Priest: Well, you will have to get in line sir. This gentleman here is gonna marry me and divorce can take a while. Applause Applause WOOT!!! YAY!!! BRAVO!!! Now for a last letter from: YOUGUYSARESTUPID It reads: Dear Stupid People, If you do not do a star wars spoof I will hate you forever. Well here you go: A LONG TIME AGO IN A GALAXY CALLED HOLLYWOOD STAR WARS Lucas: My name is George Lucas and I am writing a new Star Wars book titled: STAR WARS: C3PO IS GAY? Lucas: Reading this will tell you everything about 3P0. Including his favorite sport, favorite soap opera, favorite song, and favorite circuit to touch. Buy my book. You will anyway cuz' I just used the force on you! SUCKA! Him: Lord Vader! He is not writing a book about you! Vader: Lucas will pay! Him: But where is his planet? Vader: In the outer rim. Some Place called "EARTH" Him: I have never heard of it sir. Vader: It is a planet home to humanoids. Him: So? Vader: I am just trying to sound smart. Him: Should we go to hyper space? Vader: Lets. Him: Whistle Oh...here we are. Vader: Get the storm troopers set! Troop1: And then I said, "The only reason I am doing this interview is so I can get revenge on my family" and Vaders like "Who killed them?" And I am like "You". And thats how I ended up in the garbage compactor. Troop2: Good story. Troop3: Can I please squish them? Troop4: No...Those are paid actors. They are trying to do a show... Cameraman: I caught that on tape! Troop3: Lets throw that guy in the compactor, who cares if we kill those two useless actors. Troop4: Yeah! Lucas: Oh My God! Vader has come for me! Vader: Lucas come with me, write a book for me and I will train you in the ways of the dark side. Emperor: get out of the way my stupid apprentice. Lucas: My characters are... Emperor: No we are not real, we are just figments of the force. Lucas: What a terrible dream. Hay Blue Jay, roomie... Emperor: Blue Jay, wake up. Blue Jay: But you wiped me out last... Oh Georgie buddy...Uh...its not what you think. Kill him baby. Lucas: AUGH! WAIT A MINUTE! THE SHOW IS OVER! THANK THE LORD! THE END. My first serious attempt at writing a thriller was for my school writing contest. I won an award for it, though I still don't find it that great, more a generic, two dimensional piece. [spoiler=Nathan Vs. The Triad]CHAPTER 1: NEWS REPORT Nathan, or Nat as his friends called him, pulled his Jeep Grand Cherokee into the CIA headquarters parking lot. He parked in his private spot and got out of the car, shutting the car door behind himself. In front of him, a glass door blocked his way into the eight story building. Nathan opened the front door to the CIA headquarters, and entered into a reception room. Leather armchairs sat against the black painted walls. In the front of the room a large desk, shaped like a semi-circle, withy a computer monitor on it. Receptionist John Mandrake sat behind the desk, playing a first person shooter game. The speakers of the computer were on at full blast, and annoyed Nathan. Nathan walked to the desk, grabbed both of the speakers, one on each side of the plasma monitor, and turned them off. John hit a key on his keyboard and looked up from the monitor, his green eyes drilling a hole into Nathan's head. Nathan was over six feet tall and had dark blue eyes. His hair was black. He always wore a dark pinstriped suit to work. John was a small man in comparison to Nathan. John was only five foot five and always wore a Star Trek or Star Wars tee shirt to work. "Nathan, you could have just told me the speakers were on too loud." John hated Nathan. Nathan was always taking things into his own hands. He always did the sensitive covert missions and that made him have a commanding ego. He refuses to work with anyone on a mission, even though he would probably need half the people who showed up anyway if he wanted to live. Nathan could still be a force to be reckoned with, which made him selfish and arrogant. John peered back down at his monitors screen and motioned for Nathan to proceed to the elevator next to the desk. "Your clear." He said. Nathan walked to the elevator doors and called the elevator. The door slid open and Nathan walked inside. Nathan sat at his large mahogany desk, littered with dossiers and other random tid bits of information. Nathan pulled open one of his desks drawers and took a T.V Guide from it. He flipped to the back and did the crossword. After less than ten minutes, Nathan finished the crossword and threw the T.V guide into a garbage can next to his desk. He opened the desks drawer again, and pulled out the previous days Washington Post. He scanned the headlines. Suicide bombers, another Democratic debate, murders in a small Iowa town. The usual. He read the funny pages, getting him into a better mood. Then, he flipped to the crossword. He started the timer on his watch and started jotting answers down. He finished and stopped the watch. Five minutes and seventeen seconds. Not bad. There was a knock on his office's door, and the computer geek of the CIA walked in. He was dressed in a button down shirt and torn up jeans. His brown hair was in a mop. This man was the best hacker in the world, able to hack any website. He was way better with computers tan Nathan. Nobody knew the geeks real name, so everyone in the CIA called him Gordon. "What's the matter Gordon?" Nathan asked. Gordon adjusted his glasses and said, "Turn on MSNBC." Gordon had a slight tone of Panic in his voice. Not much panicking happened in the CIA. Nathan nodded and threw a couple pieces of paper onto the carpet of his office, searching for the television remote. He found it under a dossier and hit the ON button. A wall panel in front of Nathan's desk slid aside, and a plasma screen television was revealed. Nathan turned the channel to MSNBC and watched the news lady report on a "terrorist situation". "we don't know any names, but we have identified the Triad as the Black Dragons. This is a picture of the tattoo, on all members' forearms. The leader has the dragon tattooed on his bald head." The tattoo was just a dragon, with red eyes and fire surrounding it. "We go now live to New York City, where a hostage situation is taking place." Nathan muted the television and looked back at Gordon. "Triads in New York, taking hostages?" Nathan was skeptical, Triads were not known to take hostages, especially not in a heavily populated American city. The American equivalent of gangsters, Triads were groups of Asians, who killed for a living. They were paid sometimes, and the money they made would help finance a weapons shop. In exchange for the money, the owner of the shop would allow the Triad a supply of guns and ammo. Kind of like a secret cache of weapons, except everyone has seen it. Nathan looked at Gordon, waiting for him to speak. Gordon was silent. Then Gordon spoke: "The boss needs to see you." Gordon walked out of the room, leaving the door open behind himself. CHAPTER 2: MEETING WITH THE BOSS Nathan opened the door to his bosses' office and closed it as he walked in, following a Persian rug on the hardwood floor, to a leather chair. Nathan sat down and saw that his boss, a plump and balding man, had a guest. Sitting next to Nathan was the head of the NSA, Colonel Irving Lambert. The bosses' desk was piled with books, and littered with telephones. The boss himself sat behind it. "Nathan, this is Colonel Lambert, as you know. He is leading an operation against the Triad." Nathan and Lambert shook hands. Lamberts grip was arm crushing. Lambert pulled his large hand from Nathan's and grabbed a folder beside his chair. He opened it and pulled a set of printouts from it, handing them to Nathan. "Those are all the details on the situation. The Triad is sitting in the middle of a subway track stretch, along with the hostages, while the leader is hiding in a penthouse apartment." Nathan looked through the papers and then set the papers on his lap. "I assume I am being sent to save the hostages?" Nathan asked. "Yes, with most of the NSA in Iraq at the moment, we had to send out best agent," Nathan's boss nodded toward him. "I've read your file, impressive stuff. Gulf War veteran. On a special Ops force. Survived a trip to North Korea" Lambert was cut off by Nathan. "That trip to North Korea got me where I am today Colonel. That was the first time I was afraid of the enemy." Lambert stared at Nathan. "While I'm here can I hear that story?" Nathan looked at his boss for approval. His boss nodded. "Back in 2001, a double agent had entered our ranks and killed one of our computer geeks. He made a small mistake; he did not destroy his laptop, leaving valuable information for us. Gordon, our main computer hacker, hacked the laptop and found out he was working for a free world separatist group. "I was in South Korea at the time, protecting a pair of ambassadors. When the job was done, I was sent to bring the double agent back to the states. Easier said than done. "Pyongyang was his hideout. He lived in an apartment. I entered the city with a fake identity and after a couple days, went to the apartment. I knocked on the door and beat him to the ground before he could utter one sound. I cuffed him and took him to my car. He went in the back, as I drove away from that city. A couple hours of driving and I noticed a Jeep tailing me. "I sped up, only five miles from my evac point. I drove as fast as the small car would let me. I was too careless and allowed my hostage to get up and kick the wheel, sending both us, and the car, into the air. "We lay on the cars side, the hostage dead from a piece of shrapnel from the now destroyed car. I got myself out, but was too late. The Jeep drove next to me, and the three men had AK-47's pointed at my stomach. "I knew I was dead, until my pickup, and Apache Helicopter, swept down, machines guns blazing. The three men went down, and a rope was thrown to me. I barely escaped with my life." Lambert looked amazed. "You are one lucky son of a gun." Nathan nodded. The boss opened his mouth to speak. "No forces whatsoever can help you in a subway tract Nathan. We have got you plane tickets to and from New York City. You only have till tomorrow night at midnight. That's when the hostages are scheduled to be killed. Save them all. Defeat all Black Dragons in your way." Lambert stood up. "I am off to get some coffee and lunch. Study those papers Nathan. A subway map is in there and that could prove very useful." Nathan stood up and shook Lamberts hand again. "I'll get the job done as fast as possible." Lambert grinned. His teeth were pearl white. "Goodbye. Good luck." Lambert walked out of the room and Nathan's boss handed him two plane tickets. "Yes, as Lambert said, good luck." CHAPTER 3: DEAD OF NIGHT Nathan walked down the marble steps of the subway station, fighting through the large crowd. At the bottom of the steps, the crowd thinned. A man was playing a saxophone in the middle of the crowd, and had a briefcase lying on the ground for tips. Nathan walked around the saxophone man and noticed his features. He looked Chinese. Nathan was about to ask the man something, when a small man wearing ragged clothes and with a salt and pepper beard grabbed Nathan's coat sleeve. "Sir, you have a gun, you're in the Triad!" Nathan looked down at himself and noticed a slight bulge in his coat. "No sir, I just keep a pocket protector there." Nathan looked at the mans expression. "Do you think I'm an idiot?" The man was about to pull off Nathan's coat when the saxophone man stopped playing and looked at Nathan. The saxophone man pulled a gun from inside his coat. Nathan shoved the little man aside and ran for a men's bathroom door. He locked himself inside. He was cornered. He could hear the pattering of feet outside of the bathroom door. Someone tried the doors handle. The door shook. The man on the other side of the door started kicking it, until the door fell off its hinges. When the door fell, Nathan ran and tackled the man. The man had a Colt .9 mm in his hand, and when Nathan tackled him, the man shot it, missing Nathan and hitting the ceiling. People screamed and ran for the stairs. Nathan struggled to keep the man down, but the man was to strong and rolled Nathan off of himself. The ma started to stand up. Nathan jumped to his feet and kicked the gun from the man's hand. The gun slid down the tiles of the station, and fell onto the subway tracks. The man got up and lashed out at Nathan. Nathan stepped to his left and kicked at the man's side. Nathan made contact and the man started to gasp for breath. Nathan opened a pocket of his coat and took out a pair of handcuffs. Nathan cuffed one of the man's arms, and walked him to the stairs. A railing ran in the middle of the stairs. Nathan threw the cuffs under the railing and cuffed the other arm of the man. He was chained to the stairway railing, just waiting for a police convoy to pick him up. Outside, the moon shone on all of the glass windows of the buildings. Nathan checked his watch. Ten O'clock. He had two hours until the dead of night, and the hostage executions. CHAPTER 4: SAVING THE HOSTAGES Nathan checked his map of the subway tract. Along the tracks were elevated platforms, used by engineers and maintenance workers in case of technical problems. Nathan would use these to get to the large underground house, used to store equipment. That's where the Triad was hiding. Nathan pulled his cell phone from his coat and called his boss. "Got one in cuffs on the stairs. I made sure he had nothing on him before I left. I am heading to the platforms now. No power lines, so no communications from here on. Nathan out." He turned his phone off and put it away. In front of him was a set of stairs, leading to the platforms. Nathan ran up these, and slowly proceeded down the platforms, gun in hand. After a half an hour, he found the house, guarded by a man with a tazor gun. Nathan inched his way toward the man, and grabbed him by the neck, pulling him to Nathan. Nathan wrenched the tazor from the guards hand and took out a piece of duct tape. Nathan put it over the man's mouth, and shot him with the tazor. The man could not let out a sound as his body shook violently, until he fell to the ground with a soft THUD! Nathan put the tazor next to the body and proceeded inside the house. He was in a hall, lit at intervals by lanterns. He proceeded forward and found himself in another hall, full of maintenance equipment. Careful not to make a sound, Nathan proceeded down the hall. The hall opened to a large room with five guards inside, five Uzi's pointed at five hostages, in the fetal position on the floor. Nathan pulled a jar of some type of liquid from his coat. He walked into the room and quietly started pouring the liquid on the floor. When he ran out, he ran back to the hall and whistled. All five guards turned in unison and walked toward the hall. They suddenly stepped into the liquid. The guards closed their eyes and passed out. Nathan grabbed one of the guards and pushed him into the wall. The man awoke and started shuddering. "I have one question, where is your leader?" Nathan asked. The man looked bewildered but answered: "2324 North Madison." Nathan thanked hi and threw him back into the liquid. He instantly passed out. The hostages got up. They started jumping over the liquid and running out. A young girl stopped and looked at Nathan. "Are you one of Gordon's friends?" She asked. "His name is Dad to you honey." No wonder Gordon was so shocked back at the office; his nine year old daughter was taken from him. The girl smiled. "Sorry." Nathan took her arm and they ran, the Triad members unconscious, waiting for a police pickup to arrive. CHAPTER 5: FINAL FIGHT Nathan walked down the dark corridor and found a door marked 2324. Nathan pulled a lockpick from his pocket and started picking the doors lock. After half a minute, the doors lock was destroyed, and Nathan proceeded inside. The room he was in had nothing in it. It was a huge room, about seventy five feet long, thirty feet wide. The whole front part of the room was made up of a window, looking down on the traffic jammed streets of New York. Nathan was snapped from his thoughts when a bald man with a tattoo on his head walked up to Nathan, sword in hand. "So why'd you do it?" Asked Nathan. "I did it because I wanted the Americans to see how powerful the Triads are. Tonight, you will face the wrath of a leader of a Triad!" The man started swiping at Nathan. Nathan took a small double edged dagger from his boot, and blocked the bald mans attacks. Nathan was stepping backward, and eventually ran into one of the rooms walls. The bald man lunged. Nathan rolled aside, kicking the man in the back. The man lurched forward and his stomach hit the hilt of his sword, knocking the wind out of him. He turned around, leaving the sword in the wall, and started attacking Nathan with various martial arts moves. Nathan ruled supreme and got a kick to the man's head. He staggered backwards, hitting his back on one of the windows. Nathan took out a pistol. "I've never liked shooting people in cold blood." Nathan shot the window and kicked the man out. He screamed as he fell. Nathan looked down at the pavement below and saw the man' body, splayed on the ground. "Don't blame me for your death. It was all gravity's fault." Nathan left the house, satisfied that another mission was complete. THE END I found this in my E-mails, a report on Black Holes of all things that I wrote almost two years ago for a school project. [spoiler=Report on Black Holes] A black hole is an object with so much gravitational pull, it can suck in anything, even light. In the 18th century, an idea about the existence of black holes was proposed. The idea had been proposed by French Scientest Pierre-Simon Laplace (1749-1827) and later by John Archibald Wheeler (1911-). Laplace had proposed the existence, while Wheeler gave these objects the name black hole. Black holes form when massive stars die. Scientests can detect objects falling into a black hole, which has lead to quite a few black holes being discovered. Scientests theorize that there are billions of black holes in the universe. Black holes do not defy the laws of gravity, but it is because of gravity that they exist. Sir Issac Newton showed that all objects in the universe are attracted by gravity in the seventeenth century. Gravity is actually one of the weakest forces in the galaxy. However, gravity shapes our universe. It moves the planets, and all other objects in the universe. Albert Einsteins theory of General Relativity furthered our knowledge of gravity. Einsteins theory was pretty much the same as Newton's when it came to Earth's gravity, yet when it came to the gravity around black holes, he helped predict many fascinating things about black holes. All objects in black holes are sqeezed into small particles of matter, called the central singularity. The event horizon is an imaginary line (similar to that of the equator) that tells how close to the singularity you can safely get. There is no way to escape a black hole if you go past the event horizon, and you will be squashed into part of the central singularity. Depending on the size of the black hole, the event horizon (also known as the Schwarzchild Horizon, because of the German scientest who discovered it) can be from six miles long, to the size of our solar system. A black hole spins on an axis, that sucks in all matter, creating a whirlwind of debris and all other things even close to it. Black holes all look different because of what they are sucking in. If they sucked nothing in, they would all look the same. Three characteristics distinguish black holes: 1. Mass of the hole. 2. How it spins 3 Its electric charge There are also two types of black holes, that astronomers have discovered by watching what orbits the hole: 1. Stellar Mass, which are a couple times heavier than the sun. 2. Supermassive, which are heavier than a small galaxy (about four planets and a star) Scientests are also finding evidence of black holes in between these two types. Many scientests also think that black holes rotate, because of what they are created by (stars do rotate). Some scientests think that black holes are charged by electricity, but recent scientific projects are disproving this idea. You can be close to a black hole if you move fast. This is why the Earth does not fall into the sun, because of its orbit speed. Our Earth though, orbits in a circular way, while black holes can vary, and be everywhere. If you shoot a rocketship too slow around a black hole, it will fall in. If it goes to fast, it will fly far off. At middle speeds, you will orbit the hole in various ways. What does a black hole look like? Well, black holes suck in light, thus the region around a hole is a black disk. Light rays close to the hole that do not get sucked in can get bent. If two black holes clash into each other, they will morph into a bigger black hole. This event would be destructive, and simulating it on a computer, even leaves scientists with many questions. This merge would create gravitational waves that could be felt throughout the universe. In some galaxies, we know of black holes that are really close to each other. We could never see what is inside of the black hole, because nothing can escape. Some ideas about what black holes hold in the middle include wormholes to other univeses and galaxies, as well as through time. According to Einsteins thory of General Relativity, around a black hole, time is distorted. If you threw a clock in a black hole, time would slow, and light would reflect off it, burning it and making it red. Now, if you went with the clock, time would move normally, and the clock would not turn red. This is because gravity around a black hole distorts things. If you are moving things seem different than when you are standing still. If you fall into a black hole, you will stretch like a rubber band, and eventually compress into yourself, until you are turned into a part of the central singularity. The sun will not turn into a black hole when it explodes, because it will not be giving out enough energy. Betelgeuse is a red giant, that will not turn into a black hole for the same reasons as our sun. NGC-7027 is a planetary nebula, that once again, will not turn into a black hole because it does not have enough energy. The crab nova is a supernova remnant that will not turn into a black hole. Albireo is a binary star that will not turn into a black hole. Cygnus X-1 is an X-ray binary, that is a black hole because its a stellar mass. M33 a set of extragalactic binaries is a black hole. In the center of our galaxy, we have a black hole, called Milky Way Center. Andromeda galaxy also has a black hole in it. Cygnus-A is a black hole. 3c273 was a quaser that turned into a black hole. And now another random piece I wrote for school, a cheesy choose your own adventure book with a cliffhanger ending that led into a story I cannot find for the life of me. It was pretty violent for school but my teacher for English never cared that I wrote quit violently. [spoiler=Link to my Choose Your Own Adventure Book]http://docs.google.com/gview?a=v&pid=gmail&attid=0.1&thid=11d5373cf48c6641&mt=application%2Fvnd.ms-powerpoint&url=http%3A%2F%2Fmail.google.com%2Fmail%2F%3Fui%3D2%26ik%3D6ee8b4cfe2%26view%3Datt%26th%3D11d5373cf48c6641%26attid%3D0.1%26disp%3Dattd%26realattid%3Df_fmyyo4wv0%26zw&sig=AHBy-hbxW49CR8I2T_-afwsoWv37ZMeKsQ&pli=1 More to come very soon, including every thing I ever have posted anywhere on the internet!