obfuscator

I entirely disagree that people change who they are at the core if they are sufficiently mature by the time you marry them.

Well, the success rate of polyamorous relationships....of course that's difficult to qualify because it's not always about long term commitment. So sex ruins relationships? I want to be monogamous for several reasons. Firstly, I don't believe sex will make me happy. It never did before and I don't see why it will in the future. As a result, I'm not concerned with sleeping around or being "polyamorous" because having sex with one person will be more than enough for me. Secondly, I want to have kids. I believe the benefits of children living in a traditional family are enormous - studying statistics from jail membership to high school graduation make it plainly obvious that children with a present mother and father are much more likely to be stable, successful adults and enjoy stable, successful relationships of their own. This is either impossible or next to so in a polyamorous relationship as you've previously admitted. This is simplified, but I broke up with my girlfriend because I agree with your opinion that monogamy is extremely difficult. It took me a long time to realize, but I decided she was not someone who was capable of making me happy over a lifelong relationship. There are certain qualities I think someone who wants to have a successful marriage should possess, and, in short, I realized she didn't possess them.

A "normal human schedule" would be waking up at dawn lol

At the moment, as far as I can tell polyamory isn't what I want; monogamy is. However, if monogamy doesn't work out, then I'll try something else..

Just curious, but have you ever actually been in a somewhat long term polyamorous relationship? And by that I mean actively "dating" multiple people, however you define dating... No, actually it's because it's difficult to keep official statistics on something that's largely unofficial...seeing as polyamorous people don't get married. Why can't relationships last forever? You will likely maintain a close relationship with family members for your/their entire lives, and you may also have lifelong friends. Why is it so inconveivable that a spousal relationship can also be lifelong?

So you think that by chosing to be polyamorous you won't need to put work into your relationships? Sorry to break it to you, but the only retirement to be found where relationships are concerned is to have none at all. I'll also add that it's quite convenient to use divorce statistics to support your argument when no such similar stats exist for the failure rate of polyamorous relationships.

Double

Congrats man! And I must say that pastor/officiator has an epic beard...

Too bad that Harper has shown that he is willing to bend over for the United States at every whim. I can't exactly blame him when the US is our biggest trading partner. As it stands right now, I am willing to assume that, in the case of a war, when the US will ask for aid from NATO, Canada will help them. By the way, was Clinton's defense of Obama really that good or are the news outlets I'm reading just biased? They were raving about the Republican convention a while ago... I don't think he "bends over at every whim"...he was quite critical of their decision to not allow the keystone pipeline, for instance.. I do agree he is more "America-friendly" than the liberals before him.

Sure, but in this instance they're both antiques of our evolutionary need to reproduce. But what I'm saying is that by being polyamorous you're doing the opposite: structuring your life in such a way that you're more likely to feel jealousy, not less.

So if that "obsolete biology" can be dismissed so easily, why can't the obsolete biology of being sexually attracted to multiple partners be dismissed just as easily?

I've thought about it a lot, in fact...and have decided that being polyamorous is the worst of the three possibilities as I see it. I have another question for you. You state that being polyamorous allows you to give in to your "natural" feelings of sexual attraction for multiple partners. Assuming, of course, that those partners do the same as you and take on multiple partners themselves, how to cope with the natural feelings of jealousy that arise when that happens?

I intend to do exactly that. I won't deny that marriage is, in some ways, harder than it used to be, but that doesn't make it not worthwhile.

You're generalizing all monogamous relationships as if we're in the dark ages. I know plenty of couples who have been married 20+ years, equally and happily.

If your own parents "only stay married because of social norms", then it's no surprise you feel so poorly towards marriage...

Much of ancient and modern religion encourages polygamy...

And I'm sure if I googled "humans are monogamous by nature" the first page of results would be articles and evidence supporting that.....

What evidence do you have that humans have only been monogamous very recently? Just curious....

You've clearly never been to school in 3rd world Sicily, you lucky, lucky person. No, I never have. But it somewhat regularly gets to 40c+ with humidity here...not exactly an arctic breeze.

I agree. It depends on what a fantasy is. I agree that many people will notice a random person, and think "they're hot, I'd bang them", and that's as far as it gets. But a complex, detailed, repeating fantasy about a specific person is something that I believe you allow to grow in your mind, and is entirely under your control. And that, in my opinion, is not something everyone has.

As long as the impulses are just natural impulses, and not deliberately spurred on, there's no reason to feel bad or guilty.

What a beast.....

No need to apologize.

Notice I said "directing", implying doing it purposefully. I realize sexual attraction is instinctive and partially uncontrollable.

Which happens when you have a sexual relationship without a healthy emotional one :) No, you can still love someone yet not feel sexual attraction for them anymore. Many married women are this way. If you're directing your sexual attraction towards someone other than your spouse, you have an unhealthy relationship.