aeternitatis

The Last Song with my girlfriend. It was lame, but not as lame as I expected.

Electric Tears by Buckethead I liked that song by Cynic, I'll dl some stuff.

I liked it, flowed nicely. Wow, 1.1k views and 2 replies, that's sad.

Uhh, it's not a rap bro. If you want, you can record yourself trying to rap it and post it. That would make me smile. :lol: ya right, my rap is as good as i dance (not so good) but is it a poem? or is it in some other category of music? It's a poem. I might decide to switch it up into lyrics for some songs my friend wrote though. If I do I'll post the edited version here.

Today I rode the city bus. There was a mother with her son on her lap, he might have been 1-2, and as she was looking away he picked his nose for like 3 minutes, then pulled out his finger, looked at it, and stuck it in his mom's mouth. I laughed.

Uhh, it's not a rap bro. If you want, you can record yourself trying to rap it and post it. That would make me smile. :lol:

Today... sleep, for now.

I didn't like the first one much, but the cow one was awesome.

Living but still, a peaceful mentality No danger, no fright; no chance of fatality Away from the world, a tranquil bliss No need to awaken, all I need is this I see it in front of me, ever so still Sitting on a table, a simple pill Slowly fading in, to anger and haste I swallow it whole; that tingling taste My body is numb, my conscious is weak My mind wants to scream, but I cannot speak Happy or sad, I cannot decide Lifes troubles I face, but pass with a glide Theres nothing to do, no pain left to feel No need for a drink, a kiss or a meal I skip through obstacles, day after day No more running around, for here I will stay The pain has returned, the pills are all gone My body cant move, cant let out a yawn My minds on the loose, but my body stands still The damage I take for a small mental thrill As I open my eyes, all I see is a blur The candle by the window has begun to stir Flames and curtains meet, the walls begin to burn Thinking to myself, soon it will be my turn My last moments, as I thought I cannot run, I have not fought This is my casket, home, my cave My empty death, my burning grave What could it be? What do I seek? Reality? It's much too bleak My mind is fried, I cannot think, But now it ends, a final blink Just wrote it, took me about an hour. Critique?

Great poems. They're simple, and very easy to understand and relate to, yet powerful at the same time. To be honest, some of your rhymes are a bit cheesy, but the poems still do an excellent job on putting your point across. If you want a tip, expand the vocab. of your poems. As Graieskye said, try not to choose the obvious rhyme. It's great, but with time you'll improve. :thumbup: Did Metallica influence you at all? "Trust in me, as I trust in you" made me think of Nothing Else Matters "Trust I seek, and I find in you" Also, Into The Dark reminded me of Fade to Black a lot. I write lyrics sometimes and I try to avoid Metallica beforehand because I always tend to add in their lyrics accidentally.

I don't get jealous over RS. If I want something, I get it.

I pity you. <- ... Why do we exist?

Just got home from the clinic with my girlfriend. The doctor prescribed some pills for her anxiety attacks. :thumbup: Why am I sharing this info with strangers?

Low Man's Lyric by Metallica

<3: Brownies There's a devil waitin outside your door... Howwwww much longer? Metallica fan, right? :thumbsup:

Some preps joked around about my girlfriend's panic attack today... I'm having thoughts of throwing Molotovs through their windows while they sleep. Who makes fun of someone having a panic attack? How [bleep]ing stupid do you have to be?

YEAH. Although, waking up then finding out you can go back to bed is PRO. Especially if you get to miss school.

Meh, after eating meat my whole life I can't see myself switching. I love steak too much, and to be honest I don't put much thought into what the animal went through. I'm sure vegetarianism has health benefits, but I eat anything, so all those benefits + the ones from meats are available to me... personal choice though.

Yeah, even if it's not work I'm doing. My mom just walked in my room to grab something and I minimized everything I had open... not because it's porn, just because I don't want her to read anything.

Today at school my girlfriend had a panic attack... second one in less than a week. It's scary as hell seeing her on the ground shaking and crying... I hate it. She stresses herself out with school, and she still doesn't think she has to slow down. I hate it...

That one guy on the city bus that smells like he never showered.

Not to be a [puncture] or anything, but you're the second person to say that, and right under the benefits it says you do not need to be stoned, but it's easier. :lol: Lol @ pic Oh, and I understand your reasoning behind the "you won't get good grades stoned" thing, but it's not true for all. I can concentrate more while stoned (believe it or not) and if I'm stuck, a joint usually helps me study.

Huh? Answered your own question man. If you still do, I hope it's only to tell her you aren't interested.