Dexek

It is worthy during any period that you are safespotting your target. When you're not safespotting, well, then you'll just tank up in dragonhide and some mixed armour. My suggestion is to get it anyways, as you will find various uses for it. Add the free void armour to some cheap broad bolts and you can deal some nice damage on a small budget. I never got my void until about 15M range xp, but it would have been more useful to have had earlier on.

My favourite update of 2009! If the new head of Runescape has more of these effective tweaks instore, then I will be really happy. Although, I still want to see the mini-game that I have been waiting upon since prior to the release of Stealing Creation. All I can do now is hope they have really cleaned it up well. :thumbsup:

I actually noticed a lack of maturity the first day of the new wordlist. Quite a few people were muted for using the new words offensively against others, and then complained to Jagex about it. Although, if all the immature players are constantly muted due to this, than I suppose yes.. we will be left with a mature community. At least, only the mature ones won't have little speech bubbles by their sentences. : A lot of the new available words are welcomed, though. It was annoying not to be able to say "That sucks" when your friend had recently lost a nice chunk of money or time. There are still a few words that I could like to see open for use, but more-so combinations with commas. If the kids can handle the new vocabulary, then great. If they can't, it will be their own undoing.

Wow.. that's creepy. One of those times that a girl that isn't living on the farm should have a cattle prod in-hand. I hope you never see him again. :shock: Well, my day was literally bone-chilling. Manitoba had the coldest temperature on the continent today, but I'm not sure if its a title I care to boast about. It was recorded as -27C and -50C with the windchill. My temperature gauge notioned it to be a bit cooler, but that would be due to living so close to the lake. So my mind & finger numbing day consisted of feeding and watering the cows, working a bit on a Mathematics course I am taking, and then taking a trip into town for a little get-together with some friends. I also hopped on and off of Rs throughout the day, as usual. :

If you went to apprehend someone, would you jump? Just a question, it caught my mind. I think they would run, but what do I know, Canadians might be different. :lol: :twss: Well, I can understand what you are saying. It may seem somewhat odd, but if I thought someone was about to run, I would jump at them. If you feel that they are faster than you, then you definitely jump. When I tag & needle calves in the spring I need to catch them and hold them down while fending off their mother, or some other overprotective cow. I always try to jump on them before they have a chance to run. Once they begin to run a huge challenge is set forth, which can not always be overcomed. On the handful of times that I had to run at a calf, only half of those times was I able to outrun it. I know I am rambling on, but this is the mindset I had when I wrote that particular sentence. Yes, maybe we are different. :lol:

Thank you for the advice and comments Unoalexi and Rachet573. I don't really want the character seem too attractive, Unoalexi. I just added that jazz in after a reader of the female persuasion let me know that my description wasn't up to par. I really have no experience in describing men, so in that area I am definitely flawed. I'll try to ugly him up a bit. I was also trying to convey that he was recently caught and was being executed shortly after that capture. I had hoped that the self-realization he had would get the point across, but it never. I'll add in some more thoughts on the character's part. :

Thank you very much for critiquing my prologue, Hawkxs. I will definitely take your advice into consideration. After the comments on the "mom" spelling, I do suppose an English accent would fit the character of the intoxicated beggar.

Wow, the long arm of Jagex shook the long arm of the law that day. I wonder how many irl black marks that got Mr Vroom. :?

I'm not sure if you deserve a reply, but I'll give you one anyways. I did not ever say it was an invite only forum, and am unsure where you even got that idea. I invited people to read my work because it is not and invite only forum, but rather a public one where they are free to post their opinions. I did and still do want other people to post, but I would only like posts relating to my work and how it can be improved. I do not care to see posts about those who gave idiotic comments. If you did not like their comments, or viewed it as spam, you are free to report them. I will ask you now not to reply on my thread again unless you have some constructive critisism about my work. I am unsure how it affects you that people are posting on my thread, and no, there is not a need to write a reason why. Any help on the basis of my work is still welcomed. Thanks. : EDIT: I would also ask that no one comments on these useless replies, as they are just mucking up the thread, and do not help me at all with my story.

Well, all of the useless and idiotic posts are from people that I didn't invite. That includes all posts which did not comment/give advice. The strange thing is, the immaturity isn't coming from those who I invited. They were very helpful, which is not something I can say for some of the latest replies. :lol:

I attempted to edit out some of my extra words, and add in other features. Let me know how it is now. I think I am beginning to get the hang of this again. :

I am honoured that your first official post was on my thread, Gilly. : I appreciate the comments and will try to work that piece in about the guillotine. When I saw how you understood it to look based on my description, I broke out laughing. :lol:

[hide=Zonorhc] Bold: If you want to focus attention on this person, use "the" instead of "a". Otherwise, the sentence sounds passive and weak. Eloquent, maybe poignant, but really unnecessary. "Rain hammered on rooftops" would give you close to the same effect for far less words. Bold: Don't tell us that he's weakened. Show us. Since you're doing a bit of that in the next sentence, don't say it here. Italic: "Rolled" suggests a movement that is detached from the body, like he's been beheaded. Maybe the word you're looking for is "lolled". Underline: "[comma] the guards supporting his weight, taking slow, synchronised steps" would give more of a sense of immediacy, and paces the sentence so that it doesn't seem to drone on. Mostly, your problems are coming from using too many words. Remember that you're trying to tell a story, not wax poetic. Don't use many words when you can use few. Don't use big words when you can use short ones for the same effect. And for the love of whatever god you worship, don't use a bloody thesaurus. [/hide] I actually wanted to focus the attention more on the crowd than the man at the start. I was hoping to show that something important must be happening for so many people to wander into the rain just to shout at a criminal. Thanks though. : Thank you for the comment about the criminal. I do definitely need to do more showing and less telling. Also, you were right. Lolled was the word that I needed. :thumbsup: I do notice that I am using too many words when writing this current piece. I think it comes from not writing anything aside from short sentences on Runescape for the past 6 months. Here people can use more of their imagination. On Runescape a person has to be told something to believe it. Hopefully I can kick the habit after a few chapters. I also agree against using thesaurus's. It could create a bad habit of using words that you aren't familar with, and with that using them in the wrong context. I enjoyed your comments. Any and all future comments are welcome. \ [hide=JRD111] that means wood right? Like every single guillotine ever made ever...? Just seems unnecessary(sp?) I thought this was a good opportunity for speech in the prologue, I'm not too sure on the 'rules' of prologues but I'd like to see this hero(?) guy talking. Makes them sound like superheros or something and then they can't do jack to stop him escaping, maybe make them seem more human? (This is your masterpiece feel free to snap me back to reality) Maybe make this in one sentence to stop the overuse of the executioner? The other thing that didn't really make sense to me is that he waited until he was at the guillotine then he used his rain voodoo to escape, maybe hold off on the cool rain falling line thing until then which would give his little one liner more punch and make more sense to me. Use more commas and write more often :D [/hide] Well, first off I suppose I was relying on the readers knowledge about types of wood a bit too much. I'll have to edit the prologue to show what it would mean to use that type of wood when constructing something. The piece about the guards just meant that the added weight wouldn't deter them from their task. It was as if they could walk through walls. In reality they could not. I definitely agree about the whole executioner thing. I just have trouble coming up with other names for it. I think I'll take your advice and splice the sentences. I'm glad you are curious about why the prisoner did not escape earlier and rather waited. Was he able to escape prior? Did the priest mention something imortant to him? Did the priest even play a role at all? I liked how Pere was wondering this as well. That is what I was hoping for. : I'm not too sure about him using any rain voodoo to escape, though. It was raining the entire time, and he just had a cocky response about it. :D Also, to everyone else I enjoyed your comments. It was extremely nice of you to show me the certain parts that you liked and disliked Pere. It will really help me during the rest of the story. :thumbsup:

Thanks for all the comments. Heh, yeah Dark. I have been attempting to think of other ways to label the executioner, but have come up with very little that would not be potentially confusing. I tried to fix it. \ I'll fix the exit scene this evening as well. :thumbsup:

I decided to re-post the prologue with a bit of quick editing. I will go back later and edit it some more, but after NOM's helpful advice I did notice quite a few errors when I read it back to myself. There are likely still some, but hopefully the current version will shy less people away from reading it. : Also, the un-edited version is posted at the bottom of the story if anyone wants to read that to compare. Thanks again.

Thanks for the comments, NOM. I agree with the comments listed near the end of your critique, so I may consider some change to that portion. Although, I will not make any changes to this posted piece, but rather the document itself. :

Thanks for the comments. I am considering going over the whole story once it complete and being more descriptive, but I don't want to add so much description that it takes away from the storyline. I liked that you gave examples of what caught your eye, Spoofer. It really helps to know what interests or irritates a reader so I can can continue or discontinue with something. :

It is likely a costly skill with pretty graphics and expensive items to show off. I personally think current skills and minigames should be where the efforts of Jagex lie. The various fish you can capture stops at level 81. The trees that you can fall is limited to level 82. The seeds that you can plant for produce end at level 85. New potions to mix are only learned up until level 85. I am mainly concerned with these four skills (fishing, woodcutting, farming, herblore) because there are skills that other fillers could easily be created for. Everyone is aware of other types of fish, trees, seeds, and produce from those seeds. Other skills such as hunter and runecrafting also end at lower levels, but runecrafting itself is relatively slow going, and hunter is a new skill that would be slightly more difficult to add on to. Just my opinion. :

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A new blog-blog? Purty! :thumbsup: Good luck with those goals. :D

Haha, you destroyed him Carl. If I renew members you should kill me while I'm unarmoured. Low defence and high hp make for some nice maxing hits. :

Then it only makes sense that I have one. \

PvP worlds/bh? I believe that was an old money drain which was finally reintroduced. I can't say I agree with choosing 4 items to protect, or even 3 for that matter. Maybe if it was something like Latios suggested where all items except for 1 chosen one were lost on death. I would agree with terms such as those. With the items that are protected now it at least causes people to think a bit when they try to make an equipment setup with decent stats but low cost. It's not like money is at all hard to come by in Runescape, so there shouldn't be a need to make it any easier to hold onto. I can understand that you might like to protect a non-tradeable item such as a fire cape, so with what Latios suggested this would still be possible, and just the same players wouldn't always bring their best 3 or 4 items to a boss and know that they will be protected and that their money would be easy to hang onto.

If I had the defence level to do the quest, I would throw all of the xp at either Runecrafting or Slayer.

Well, I had been suggesting on the RSOF for a small bit of skilling xp in-game along with some new rewards.. so this isn't exactly what I wanted. It is somewhat reasonable, though. I guess I should spend up my points now and kiss the remaining points good-bye.