PURESMITHER

More, more, more , more! [/spamity plaeding voice] 9.5/10 (Would give you 10 but no-ones ever perfect O:) )

Work in progress :wink: I like this story, it has a good background, a knight (is she a knight?) being forced to convert from Saradomin to Zamorak. Or at least, thats what it seems like to me. Anyway, I hope to see more of this, you are obviously a talented writer. =D> Just one thing, would she really say: "Just say it you coward. Fire me. I dare you." to a king?

Whats he got to be grateful about? :-k Perhaps Reverant would be a better term? Indeed.

I generally like black because I like the night and I like camoflauged clothing. In the night, the only decent camoflauge is black. Anyways, this is going really well, and I hope you get more entries soon. :)

Please paste this into MS Word and do a spell check. The story is great, the spelling lets it down.

Whats he got to be grateful about? :-k

Hey, you've now connected this story to your new one with the link in the other one about the 'powerful, old merchant' I envy your idea, now you can get all the people flooding into all your stories, on one topic!

We said there WERE NO spelling or grammar mistakes :wink:

Hilarious, pity 8-) didn't work. :)

I wanna be a teutonic knight! Because the name sounds cool! By the way, where did teutonic knights come from? I'll wear a red cape if their from England, blue from France or Black from Germany. Also, seeing as I am the first teutonic knight, I would be happy to help you out as leader. 8-) 7am - 9pm on Saturday and 7am - 8pm on Sunday.

I like it. You could now easily write a second story with the same characters as ou have already introduced them. =D> Plox more :pray:

I like the start and you've already generally got the story line accross, big battle between Phoenix gang and Black Arm gang right? \

Count me in! 8-) You have got the characters now, it would be easier for you and the reader to just continue on a seperate story, with te same characters.

Keep it all in the same topic, don't have a new topic every chapter

Mate, keep all your chapters on one thread, you'll be cluttering up the library if you do any more than 5 chapters. :wink: Anyway, I like it. The chapters are a bit short, and you need to take a new line evrytime a new person speaks. 7/10 2 for shortness, 0.5 for not taking new lines. The other 0.5... well, you can never be perfect. :wall:

Ahh well.. you have convinced me of the saying: Quality is better than quantity. You have made a d7*^%ÃÆââ¬Å¡Ãâã$%^"ÃÆââ¬Å¡Ãâã%^ good short story. Well, its not that short but its only one part if you see what I mean.

Hey that ones really good, far better than the one I made and sent out. I'll put the link in it. Wait a sec.. [url=http://forum.tip.it/viewforum.php?f=11&sid=9ccad3b018244d4213a48b26accb57dc][img=http://img177.imageshack.us/img177/3734/varrocklibraryja1.png][/url] There, this ones going in my sig. I advise everyone who put the one I made in their sig to change to this one. :wink: Join the campaign to populate the Varrock Library!

No grammar or spelling checks, great storyline, ahh... we should see a lot more of this. :) Love the story, its creepy, who would shoot an innocent butler in the head, or, is the butler innocent? Or is the guy just breaking in? Creep cliffhangers... love em. :3>

I've been speaking to some beggars (also in real life) and they claim that asking for free stuff is when you say "Free stuff please" what they do is say: "I need money" "Give me your helmet" "Give me money" Its weird, they thing example 1 is begging, but examples 2, 3 and 4 are not. :? Anyway, another great article from the editor. One day, we shall uncover his identity and kill h - Oops, been watching to much crime stoppers :-w

Eek.. you've really got me into this one... I didn't really get the last bit. You said your friend decided against the fight, and then the woman was agreeing to it? :-s

Eek.. you've really got me into this one... I didn't really get the last bit. You said your friend decided against the fight, and then the woman was agreeing to it? :-s

It good so far, just brush up on your grammar and spelling. :wink:

Its ok. When theres more I might comment properly. :wall:

Errmmm... I think you mean more stories. this is a short story that has already ended. (I think...) *De de deeeeerrrrr* (Cliffhanger music) \

Sorry but I'm no pixel artist - in fact, that was the first drawing I ever did on MS Paint. If you've got any tips on how to make it better, please PM me.