Alcoholism, A Growing Cancer

[Errdoth]

Usually, when I meet someone new, I try hard not to bore them with my personal life and my own troubles, or rather, the fake life and fake troubles that I have grown so used to reciting. ÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ãâ¦Ã¢â¬ÅYes, IÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢m sure that IÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢m okay,ÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬ÃâÃ

[rocketman089]

I didn't know him back then but my stepdad used to be a huge alcoholic/pothead into his early thirties. It cost him his first marriage, his relationships with his siblings and his relationship with his 2nd eldest son. I guess one day he just decided to quit alcohol/cigs/pot the same day and hasn't touched it in 12 years, and I really commend him for that.

 

 

 

My dad was also an alcoholic when I was little, and that's also why my parents went through a really bad 3 year divorce. But after AA and all that counseling stuff he barely touches the stuff and the whole thing is completely behind him.

 

 

 

It's a serious issue but people can always change.

[hellbellz]

Well, my mom is an acoholic, and I hate when she drinks.

 

 

 

She is going to counseling currently. I'm never going to become an alcoholic. People who are, ruin their lives and their friends' and families relationship.

[SanFranciscoGiants]

Alcoholisim has caused a divorce, and many other terrible issues, but also has brought prospects of a better life.

[unkn0wnwarrior]

My father is an alcoholic, and 2 months before my eleventh birthday my two sisters, my mother and me moved out. I didn't see him for over a year when we first left and I haven't seen him for the last 2. He used to throw the remote across the room, one day breaking the front window.

[knives669]

I don't think that I know over 2 people whose parents aren't divorced, and one of the main reasons they have told me their parents got the divorce was because one of them was an alcoholic.

 

 

 

I'm VERY VERY grateful that neither of my parents and my boyfriend drink. My mom has told me stories about numerous alcoholic family members though, and I've even met a few of them. They completely turned me off from drinking.

[angryjoe]

Yeh my dad's a bit of a boozer and i feel sorry for you living with your dad because i can't imagine going back to that now. We chucked my dad out when i was about 11 or 12 methinks.

 

 

 

What's worse is that my dad had a second chance with another family that were really nice but he went and blew that aswell.

 

 

 

Hes now got really really bitter and pretty much always [bleep]es about my mum and stuff. That's even to my friends that he sees in the street which is pretty annoying but most of the time he doesn't recognise people he walks past. He even walked past his best friend without recognising him the other day (his best friend is still also best friend with my mum so he told her).

 

 

 

I haven't talked to him really since around last August when i nealry battered him but i was held back by my sisters boyfriend. (before people think i couldn't batter a full grown man - im a fair bit bigger than him and he was drunk).

 

 

 

I dont know how this is really going to help you but you need to just get your mum to kick him out. It sounds hard and upsetting but seriously, my mum has gone from suffering depression 3 -4 years ago to happier than I have ever seen her.

[IGoddessI]

I think you're better off talking to a good psychologist hun.

 

 

 

Get it all out.

 

 

 

There's no shame in seeing one, they are there to listen to normal people like yourself too.

 

 

 

Some are really good, I promise.

 

 

 

I'm a trained counsellor but have my own problems at the moment as much as I want to reach out and give you a big hug :(

[Striker6]

^^You're a psychologist, WE GET IT ALREADY and its not the answer. You should try and talk to your dad more and emphasise with him- encourage him to go to AA meetings etc, thats what my dad did and he hasn't been drinking for like 14 years \

 

 

 

Then again, that was after he divorced my mum...so it depends on your mums tolerance of these things.

[ChickyBee32]

^^You're a psychologist, WE GET IT ALREADY and its not the answer. You should try and talk to your dad more and emphasise with him- encourage him to go to AA meetings etc, thats what my dad did and he hasn't been drinking for like 14 years \

 

 

 

Then again, that was after he divorced my mum...so it depends on your mums tolerance of these things.

 

 

 

Ignore this guy. He's one of the few lucky ones who has a parent that was willing to acknowledge the addiction and actually do something about it.

 

 

 

My mother is an alcoholic and the rest of my family is in denial about it. Getting professional help didn't 'solve' anything, but it helped me come to terms with a lot of things. It can't hurt.

[The_Dragon_Reborn]

My view on Addiction:

 

 

 

I beleive that you can be addicted to Alcohol. Some people obviously are addicted to alcohol, they feel the need to drink at any time of day, spend all of their money on it, have troubled relationships with their families and loved ones, and thusly, their lives are affected by this addiction. I am sorry to hear that your father is addicted to alcohol. Addiction to alcohol is rittled throughout my family.

 

 

 

My view on Disease:

 

 

 

I do not think that Alcoholism is a disease. I believe that a disease is something that you have no control over. There is no cure for disease in my opinion. If you get cancer, there is no cure for it. You cannot stop having cancer, or AIDs, or Diabetes. But, you can stop drinking. You can stop smoking. You can stop shooting up heroin. It may take determination, but it can be done. There is no way that you can make cancer go away through determination.

 

 

 

I think that this connection between Addiction and Disease is a growing concern for todays generation of people. They come to believe that addictions are diseases and put the blame on something else, instead of relying on their own determination to stop the addiction. This kind of blame can only make the generation of today worse, and inevitably (sp?) the generation of tommorow. Remember this quote, "We are to require a new way of thinking if mankind is to survive."

 

 

 

Those are my thoughts on Alcoholism.

[assassin_696]

You said you didn't want my sympathy, but that's all I got for you, sorry but i've been lucky enough not to have alcohol tear my family apart.

 

 

 

That said, I know a few friends who've parents have divorced because of this, and it's never pretty.

[ChickyBee32]

 

I do not think that Alcoholism is a disease. I believe that a disease is something that you have no control over. There is no cure for disease in my opinion. If you get cancer, there is no cure for it. You cannot stop having cancer, or AIDs, or Diabetes. But, you can stop drinking. You can stop smoking. You can stop shooting up heroin. It may take determination, but it can be done. There is no way that you can make cancer go away through determination.

 

 

 

I could not agree more. When my son was born, I told my mother she simply could not drink around him, otherwise I would stop her from seeing him. She can go for several days without a drink when we're visiting. She starts to go through withdrawals, but she can do it.

[highlanders]

Well, it is a problem, but you have to work in solving it. What I would do is drag my sober father to a psychiatrist, throw away all the alchool in the house, forbid him, by force if needed, to go out at bars at night, until he is sober enough to understand what you and your mother have to say to him. Make him understand how he neglected his family, and that now he must stop drinking in order to take care of his family. You have to act, do something, instead of just living with it.

[angryjoe]

Well, it is a problem, but you have to work in solving it. What I would do is drag my sober father to a psychiatrist, throw away all the alchool in the house, forbid him, by force if needed, to go out at bars at night, until he is sober enough to understand what you and your mother have to say to him. Make him understand how he neglected his family, and that now he must stop drinking in order to take care of his family. You have to act, do something, instead of just living with it.

...it's not that easy.

[highlanders]

...it's not that easy.

 

Of course not, but one has to try as hard as he can, or nothing will ever change. Everyone has their own demons, and we must do what we can to overcome them, or what is the point of living if you learn nothing and do not evolve from those experiences?

[IGoddessI]

^^You're a psychologist, WE GET IT ALREADY and its not the answer. You should try and talk to your dad more and emphasise with him- encourage him to go to AA meetings etc, thats what my dad did and he hasn't been drinking for like 14 years \

 

 

 

Then again, that was after he divorced my mum...so it depends on your mums tolerance of these things.

 

 

 

I'm trying to offer the poor guy advice, your critisism isn't needed thank you.

 

 

 

I didn't say it was the solution; it is a process step about openly talking about how he feels and how to deal with his feelings.

 

 

 

It is not the answer all together Striker.

 

 

 

You seem to think that me wanting to genuinely help is exaggerating my profession. I apologise that you read too much over the fine print.

 

 

 

Perhaps the day will come when you don't want to see anyone but feel comfortable self-disclosing over the internet. After all, studies have already proven that a lot of people find it easier.

 

 

 

Someone trained to talk to + easier to disclose information = could be a win situation for his emotional levels.

 

 

 

Understand now?

[insane]

Someone trained to talk to + easier to disclose information = could be a win situation for his emotional levels.

 

 

 

How expensive is a psychologist? I mean, if his dad is spending all their money on alcohol, he can't exactly afford one, could he?

 

 

 

I'd say the surefire method is just chucking your dad out and then starting the healing process. A psychologist won't help if you get home from a session to a drunk father beating your mother.

[angryjoe]

...it's not that easy.

 

Of course not, but one has to try as hard as he can, or nothing will ever change. Everyone has their own demons, and we must do what we can to overcome them, or what is the point of living if you learn nothing and do not evolve from those experiences?

Well yes, personally, I have learned alot from my dad's problem and my experiences and I know that I myself will never become an alcoholic because I would see the synptoms and stop drinking if I realised that I had developed a relience on alcohol.

 

 

 

So I have learned from these experiences but with my dad, we tried everything and he always carried on drinking. Even tried a flippin hypnotist but it didnt work. Some people just don't have the will power so although I have come out of it a stronger person, there is no hope for my dad and unfortunately for the thread author, I doubt there is much hope for his either and I hope that he and his family can move on.

[IGoddessI]

How expensive is a psychologist? I mean, if his dad is spending all their money on alcohol, he can't exactly afford one, could he?

 

 

 

I really couldn't say, it depends on what country he lives in.

 

 

 

I know in Australia you can get free consultations if recommended by your GP.

 

 

 

Some GP's write out a letter to your local psychologist and have it bulk billed through them personally.

 

 

 

I'd say the surefire method is just chucking your dad out and then starting the healing process.

 

 

 

As harsh as that sounds I have to agree with you. Sometimes people don't know what they have until it's gone. My ex partner's mum had bipolar disorder and became an alcoholic, it took his dad and his brothers to throw her out of the house and say you're out of our lives until you can get yourself clean. Luckily she loved her family so much and got herself clean; she now doesn't drink, even on special occasions.

 

 

 

They need to find out whether there is other motives behind his obsessive drinking, such as a disorder, whether he trying to escape problems he hasn' t talked about etc

 

 

 

In my example, they only found out that their mother was a bipolar sufferer, through her obsessive drinking and telling her to get help.

 

 

 

I'm not saying it's the case but could be worth checking.

 

 

 

However, in all, it does seem like your father is trying to escape some sort of problem in his life.

[Star.]

My dad drinks all the time. 2-3 time throughout the week he'll go to the pub to drink himself silly. He knows he's got all that stuff about cholesterols being high and how he's already banged up yet he still drinks. When he's not out at the pub, he has 4 cans at home.

 

 

 

He's slowly tearing the family apart. My mother can't bear to sleep (actual sleep) with him when he's drunk. And we're supposed to get arranged married at 20 and he's supposed to find the partner, how's he going to find them if he's dead.

 

 

 

Wooo rant over father is over.