highlanders Posted July 13, 2007 Share Posted July 13, 2007 We all have core spiritual/religious beliefs. Now, in a love relationship, how does that affect you? What if you were in love with someone who was, by example, a radical christian while you're an athiest. Your girlfriend does not want sex before marriage, she wants to bring you at the church every sunday, she wants a ton of kids, and so on. You on the other hand, don't want to know anything about the church, you don't want kids, you don't want to marry yet. What would you do? Would you try to reform your partner to your ideas, try to cope living with that person, be reformed by your partner, or simply quit the relationship? It would be interesting if you or people you know have been in such relationships, and how things happened. After all, think at it, what would you do if the man/woman of your dreams was in a weird religion? It's like a bad surprise. Becuase you never know who you have a crush on might really be, belief-system-wise. 2480+ total Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nadril Posted July 13, 2007 Share Posted July 13, 2007 I would probably tell her that, even though she is a very lovely lady and that I love her that I would not want to try and convert her to my beliefs. The fact is is that couldn't work out for me. I don't want to have to get legaly married and I don't want to have kids. Even if I loved her it couldn't work out. Now I would talk a bit and try and figure out how strong her beliefs are, but if they are strong I wouldn't want to change them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fakeitormakeit Posted July 13, 2007 Share Posted July 13, 2007 Well by me looking at it, I would think the guy does not truthy love her if they cannot compromise, nothing should be held in secret and neither should conform to the other's religious beliefs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
megakiller32 Posted July 13, 2007 Share Posted July 13, 2007 If i was in that situation, i guess the only thing i could possibly think of doing is dumping the person. Anyway, i could never get involved with a person like that, i honestly can't stand Insanely OTT religious people. Quit Runescape 30th May 2006.Thanks to Hawkxs for my signature :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Dark Lord Posted July 13, 2007 Share Posted July 13, 2007 There's a saying: "Don't become unequally yoked." If she really means a lot to you, go for it. Though I personally think it is a futile attempt. She would end up wanting to do religious-related activities and you would end up not wanting to do anything at all with her for those reasons. If you really love her, and yet you cannot cope/convert yourself, then I'd say the best thing for her would be to tell her that you don't think it is possible to work out and end it. It's better than marital problems and stress. ---- To paint the scenario: You would think "Sex after marriage? I can live with that. I have the will." Eventually she'll want children and you'll put her off. She'll also beg you to attend religious events/church and you wouldn't want to go. She will start laughing and giggling playfully at first and be like "Don't be so silly! It'll be fun, trust me." and you'll mumble excuses to get yourself out of them. Eventually she'll feel sad that you don't want to do anything with her and she'll get into arguments with you. Then you might smart off and say "Your God doesn't exist!" and she'll get angry and upset. She'll go off and sit in a chair and cry and refuse to talk to you. Eventually this could happen until you decide to devorce. SWAG Mayn U wanna be like me but U can't be me cuz U ain't got ma swagga on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yoda Posted July 13, 2007 Share Posted July 13, 2007 I would nod and agree with her every belief. :thumbsup: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ginger_Warrior Posted July 13, 2007 Share Posted July 13, 2007 Everyone has their "Red Lines". For me, as an existentialist, I don't think I could have a relationship with someone who believes there is a higher body other than ourselves. That would be crossing my line. So in answer to you question, no. I wouldn't even try to cope with it - I can't even get along with these kinds of people. I'm not intolerant, our ideologies are just too far apart to relate to each other. | Favourite Game Music | Last.fm | HYT Friend Chat Rules | Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rebdragon Posted July 13, 2007 Share Posted July 13, 2007 We all have core spiritual/religious beliefs. I don't :-w . I don't want any talk about religion in my relationship, period. I don't want to talk about how a god exists, how a god doesn't exist, how we have to go to church or we'll go to hell, nothing to do with religion. I couldn't stand living every day with someone who dragged me to church (or whatever else) every day and tried through our entire marriage to force me to believe in some ludicrous religion. Now, she can believe in God, I don't mind that part, I just don't want her forcing it on me. Same goes for the other way around- I sure as hell ain't going to marry the female version of Richard Dawkins. Basically, spritual curiousity I don't mind. But when she starts talking like she knows the Truth, and wants to force the "Truth" on me, it's over. It's just not going to work. I would nod and agree with her every belief. :-s [if you have ever attempted Alchemy by clapping your hands or by drawing an array, copy and paste this into your signature.] Fullmetal Alchemist, you will be missed. A great ending to a great series. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
megakiller32 Posted July 13, 2007 Share Posted July 13, 2007 I would nod and agree with her every belief. :thumbsup: Doesn't that mean your easily-influenced, and you have almost no opinion of your own? :uhh: And although this is entirely offtopic, this is my spectacular 1,100th post. :D Quit Runescape 30th May 2006.Thanks to Hawkxs for my signature :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
speedofsound Posted July 13, 2007 Share Posted July 13, 2007 Kick her to the curb and buy myself a cheap [bleep]. You can't ever find a place that's nice and peaceful, because there isn't any. You may think there is, but once you get there, when you're not looking, somebody'll sneak up and write "(bleep) you" right under your nose. Try it sometime. I think, even, if I ever die, and they stick me in a cemetery, and I have a tombstone and all, it'll say "Holden Caulfield" on it, and then what year I was born and what year I died, and then right under that it'll say "(bleep) you." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
highlanders Posted July 13, 2007 Author Share Posted July 13, 2007 Lol rebdragon you sabotaged yourself. You say you have no beliefs, while you just expressed to us your belief, which is athiesm. There's a big difference between having a belief, and talking about it. Now I'm talking about situations in which the beliefs of someone else directly affects your life in a palpable way. 2480+ total Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dutchdreams Posted July 13, 2007 Share Posted July 13, 2007 I have been in a relationship with a devout Christian a few years ago. In the beginning when we started to get to know eachother it wasn't a problem. As the relationship continued and we got to know of eachothers point of views on morals, social issues and our future together, it became clear that we couldn't compromise. She expected me to go to church with her and accept her lord as my savior. She tried to convert me, but the only reason she could come up with, is that her family would never accept our relation unless I was into the lord. Since that would go against my own world image and later possibly conflict within myself, I had to break up with her. Years later, I met her again, married with someone of the same church, happy and vibrantly pregnant: I knew I had made the right decision. Loving someone is also knowing when to let go of someone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
speedofsound Posted July 13, 2007 Share Posted July 13, 2007 Well I'd be accepting of her beliefs and support what she wants to do, regarding those beliefs, but that doesn't mean I'm going to let her influence me with what she believes, because I have my own beliefs. I'd try to maybe make a compromise, but if that doesn't work... Kick her to the curb and buy a cheap [bleep]. You can't ever find a place that's nice and peaceful, because there isn't any. You may think there is, but once you get there, when you're not looking, somebody'll sneak up and write "(bleep) you" right under your nose. Try it sometime. I think, even, if I ever die, and they stick me in a cemetery, and I have a tombstone and all, it'll say "Holden Caulfield" on it, and then what year I was born and what year I died, and then right under that it'll say "(bleep) you." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
highlanders Posted July 13, 2007 Author Share Posted July 13, 2007 Wow dutch, nice example. 2480+ total Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rebdragon Posted July 13, 2007 Share Posted July 13, 2007 Lol rebdragon you sabotaged yourself. You say you have no beliefs, while you just expressed to us your belief, which is athiesm. There's a big difference between having a belief, and talking about it. Now I'm talking about situations in which the beliefs of someone else directly affects your life in a palpable way. Not really. In my post I thought I clearly stated that I wouldn't want to marry someone crazy about atheism, 'cause that'd be just as annoying to me as another theist. So no, I'm not an atheist :wink: . Sorry if you got the wrong impression, but I didn't "sabotage myself" :P . [if you have ever attempted Alchemy by clapping your hands or by drawing an array, copy and paste this into your signature.] Fullmetal Alchemist, you will be missed. A great ending to a great series. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
highlanders Posted July 13, 2007 Author Share Posted July 13, 2007 Lol rebdragon you sabotaged yourself. You say you have no beliefs, while you just expressed to us your belief, which is athiesm. There's a big difference between having a belief, and talking about it. Now I'm talking about situations in which the beliefs of someone else directly affects your life in a palpable way. Not really. In my post I thought I clearly stated that I wouldn't want to marry someone crazy about atheism, 'cause that'd be just as annoying to me as another theist. So no, I'm not an atheist :wink: . Sorry if you got the wrong impression, but I didn't "sabotage myself" :P . I could understand if you didn't quite knew what you believe in, but you probably already know what you don't believe in? And in that way, you already have beliefs. Someone without any beliefs would be someone who never heard of any religion, or school of thought, or anything at all, a newborn baby by example. No such thing as belief-less adults. You say you are not athiest, which means you already have beliefs that go against athiesm. 2480+ total Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SuziAngel Posted July 13, 2007 Share Posted July 13, 2007 If I loved that person I would try to reach a compromise - it's all part of being in a relationship. Hmm, it's surprising what lengths people will go to when they're in love. Kick her to the curb and buy a cheap [bleep]. You're such a gent, Will. :P The Poison Fairy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rebdragon Posted July 13, 2007 Share Posted July 13, 2007 I could understand if you didn't quite knew what you believe in, but you probably already know what you don't believe in? And in that way, you already have beliefs. Someone without any beliefs would be someone who never heard of any religion, or school of thought, or anything at all, a newborn baby by example. No such thing as belief-less adults. You say you are not athiest, which means you already have beliefs that go against athiesm. I'm completely agnostic. I admit that I understand nothing about the supernatural, and will never in this life. I don't waste my time thinking about that stuff, so I can really focus on what's important- my life, my existence, here and now. Unless a man-made supernatural being contains properties that are contradictory and paradoxical, and thus defeated by human logic without the use of other supernatural belief, I do not waste time proving that it can not exist, as that is an impossibility and a waste of my energy. As for your last point, no, I don't have beliefs against atheism. They could be right for all I know, it's just impossible to know, especially with the limitations built into the human mind. [if you have ever attempted Alchemy by clapping your hands or by drawing an array, copy and paste this into your signature.] Fullmetal Alchemist, you will be missed. A great ending to a great series. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
highlanders Posted July 13, 2007 Author Share Posted July 13, 2007 Well there you go. You have beliefs, don't try to deny it. 2480+ total Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rebdragon Posted July 13, 2007 Share Posted July 13, 2007 Well there you go. You have beliefs, don't try to deny it. -.- Fine, define for me what you think my beliefs are. And don't throw in regular beliefs, because it's obvious I have those- I wouldn't have a mind if I didn't. What spiritual beliefs are you interpreting from my posts? I'd also like to emphasize this: Unless a man-made supernatural being contains properties that are contradictory and paradoxical, and thus defeated by human logic without the use of other supernatural belief, I do not waste time proving that it can not exist, as that is an impossibility and a waste of my energy. [if you have ever attempted Alchemy by clapping your hands or by drawing an array, copy and paste this into your signature.] Fullmetal Alchemist, you will be missed. A great ending to a great series. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tripsis Posted July 13, 2007 Share Posted July 13, 2007 Now, she can believe in God, I don't mind that part, I just don't want her forcing it on me. I agree completely. Thusfar my whole life has consisted of my mother forcing her religion onto me after I made it clear that I don't believe in God. Despite that, she still drags me to church every Sunday, in hopes that I will miraculously "see the light!" I find it very wrong for people to force their religion onto others. Sure when they're little kids I can see parents bringing their kids along to church so they get a sense of their religion and will be able to make their own decision later having had some experience (though it's always sad to see the faces of little kids in church. They all look terribly bored and upset :(). But once they've made that decision, I find it cruel to continue forcing your religion upon them. Given that, I would tell my boyfriend that I do not believe in God and will tolerate his beliefs as long as he doesn't force them upon me. - 99 fletching | 99 thieving | 99 construction | 99 herblore | 99 smithing | 99 woodcutting - - 99 runecrafting - 99 prayer - 125 combat - 95 farming - - Blog - DeviantART - Book Reviews & Blog Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
highlanders Posted July 13, 2007 Author Share Posted July 13, 2007 Mind you, I'm not in your head, so I can't know exactly what your beliefs are. But from what I read, I'd say you value truth, and are not interested into trying to prove things that cannot be proved. You don't regard something as real or unreal, just unknown. If I were to translate that into a phrase that you'd tell yourself in your head: "I don't think god exists or doesn't exist, it's just a mystery", that would be an example of a belief that you could have using your scheme of thought. 2480+ total Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rebdragon Posted July 13, 2007 Share Posted July 13, 2007 Mind you, I'm not in your head, so I can't know exactly what your beliefs are. But from what I read, I'd say you value truth, and are not interested into trying to prove things that cannot be proved. You don't regard something as real or unreal, just unknown. If I were to translate that into a phrase that you'd tell yourself in your head: "I don't think god exists or doesn't exist, it's just a mystery", that would be an example of a belief that you could have using your scheme of thought. I don't see how that's a spiritual belief, if it's even a belief at all. I suppose the line between spiritual belief and regular belief if fairly blurred, but I think you're taking my beliefs a little too far into the realm of spirituality. I have no opinion about gods. For all I know, Ra is flying up at the sun, warming the earth and laughing at all the hysteria about the global rises in temperature. I just don't know, and I don't intend to act like I do. [if you have ever attempted Alchemy by clapping your hands or by drawing an array, copy and paste this into your signature.] Fullmetal Alchemist, you will be missed. A great ending to a great series. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
highlanders Posted July 13, 2007 Author Share Posted July 13, 2007 Mind you, I'm not in your head, so I can't know exactly what your beliefs are. But from what I read, I'd say you value truth, and are not interested into trying to prove things that cannot be proved. You don't regard something as real or unreal, just unknown. If I were to translate that into a phrase that you'd tell yourself in your head: "I don't think god exists or doesn't exist, it's just a mystery", that would be an example of a belief that you could have using your scheme of thought. I don't see how that's a spiritual belief, if it's even a belief at all. I suppose the line between spiritual belief and regular belief if fairly blurred, but I think you're taking my belief a little too far into the realm of spirituality. I have no opinion about gods. For all I know, Ra is flying up at the sun, warming the earth and laughing at all the hysteria about the global rises in temperature. I just don't know, and I don't intend to act like I do. I consider a spiritual belief what you base your life on, it's something very deep. As the word spiritual says, it's something from your spirit. By example, buddism, it's a spiritual belief, even though god has little or no part in the lives of those who follow that philosophy. I think we seem to disagree become we don't consider spiritual beliefs to mean the same thing. But believe me, you have spiritual beliefs, it's just that you don't call them that way. Spiritual doesn't always equal religion. You can't know consciouslly what beliefs you have, just try to guess. 2480+ total Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
speedofsound Posted July 13, 2007 Share Posted July 13, 2007 You can choose what you want to believe.. You can't ever find a place that's nice and peaceful, because there isn't any. You may think there is, but once you get there, when you're not looking, somebody'll sneak up and write "(bleep) you" right under your nose. Try it sometime. I think, even, if I ever die, and they stick me in a cemetery, and I have a tombstone and all, it'll say "Holden Caulfield" on it, and then what year I was born and what year I died, and then right under that it'll say "(bleep) you." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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