Men rules for Women, read and heed

[Bubsa]

learn the ways of the woman instead of complaining. :P

 

We can't, they're subject to change everyday!

[IGoddessI]

Funny topic and I like the 'female' reactions on the author/males supporting the author of this topic.

 

 

 

To be honest I don't care about anything, I just take the females how they are, is it that hard to just carry some bags whilst she's enjoying her shopping (She could be buying some new clothes for 'you know what I mean')

 

 

 

IGodessI I miss your old sig!

 

 

 

In my country people would say you'd be "onder de sloef" with IGoddessI,

 

she always gets what she wants :wink: .

 

 

 

Damn straight I wear the pants :P btw which sig?

[Matok]

 

 

 

btw, you are giving "dating/woman" advice to a 38 yo married man with 4 children, 21 years so far in active duty US navy....think I got it figured out, but thnx, I always enjoy getting relationship advice from 13yos.... :uhh:

 

 

 

Suzi: loved your response...hehe..

 

lol yeah you get to know a lot about women when you're in the navy amirite?

 

 

 

meet quite a few along the way hehe :-w

 

 

 

Wait a sec !! dont tell me it's you over there

 

 

 

:D i love this scene

[sour_tacos]

 

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon

 

 

 

or the changing of the tides.

 

 

 

Let it be.

 

 

 

 

 

 

I have no problem with you sitting on your badonkadonk (Subway commerical...) butt, drinking beer and eating chips while watching other men who get paid ridonkulous amounts of money to run around pushing each other over and fighting for a ball. I might even join you on that couch. I love sports, but will I ever be paid millions of dollars to play? Nope. When it comes to women's sports compared to men's, we're still living in the stone age.

[lordkrohn1626]

Funny topic and I like the 'female' reactions on the author/males supporting the author of this topic.

 

 

 

To be honest I don't care about anything, I just take the females how they are, is it that hard to just carry some bags whilst she's enjoying her shopping (She could be buying some new clothes for 'you know what I mean')

 

 

 

IGodessI I miss your old sig!

 

 

 

In my country people would say you'd be "onder de sloef" with IGoddessI,

 

she always gets what she wants :wink: .

 

 

 

Damn straight I wear the pants :P btw which sig?

 

 

 

hehe love it love it....and to answer your question goddess, I would never cheat on my wife; there isn't a woman fine enough for me to throw away my marriage, stability, love, friendship, the understanding of a great woman and a loving relationship with my kids...family is not only everything to me, it is the only thing....but along the way to this mature enlightenment, I had quite a ride :P

 

 

 

Australia and Romania were...um...amazing :)

[mad4u689]

Could you guys get off Lynyrd's back? The guy's the funniest thing on this forum since Carlin.

 

 

 

I salute him.

 

 

 

Heh, a fair enough point.

 

 

 

Haha true, but not for every girl. Usually, this is true for your average stupid detail-obsessed girl. Idk, 70% of the girl population. You gotta find a girl that thinks like a man

 

 

 

Oh, please. I was kind of with you until that last part there. 70% of girls probably ARE idiots. But don't think that men are any better; I think the 70% idiot rate in the population is pretty gender non-specific.

 

 

 

- A girl who doesn't wear makeup, doesn't enjoy shopping, enjoys sex, does not care about your Sunday game, and is reasonably intelligent.

[johntm]

http://forum.tip.it/viewtopic.php?t=686891

 

 

 

Sad attempt at making some rules about women. They really suck.

[johntm]

I've read this before he didn't write it himself... but inspired by Suzi I have my own answers too :P

 

 

 

1. Men are NOT mind readers.

 

 

 

Your socks are probably in the drawer where you left them and the vegemite is right infront of you, now close the f*cking fridge door.

 

 

 

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.

 

 

 

You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.

 

 

 

We need it up, you need it down.

 

 

 

You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

 

 

 

Learn to work your penis, you're a big boy now when I want it up, get it up. It's just like the toilet seat, if I say down, I mean leave it down.

 

 

 

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon

 

 

 

or the changing of the tides.

 

 

 

Let it be.

 

 

 

Your arse crack in the same football shorts you've worn for the past 3 days is like the full moon too, now turns off the football and go do the lawn, we don't live on a corn field.

 

 

 

1. Shopping is NOT a sport.

 

 

 

And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

 

 

 

Who says you get to shop? You're there to hold my bags and pay for it all.

 

 

 

1. Crying is blackmail.

 

 

 

So is hiding the batteries from the tv remote, so which one shall it be?

 

 

 

1. Ask for what you want.

 

 

 

Let us be clear on this one:

 

 

 

Subtle hints do not work!

 

 

 

Strong hints do not work!

 

 

 

Obvious hints do not work!

 

 

 

Just say it!

 

 

 

I asked if you wanted sex 3 times but you were paying too much attention to the cricket that I guess you didn't hear me! I'm not in the mood now.

 

 

 

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

 

 

 

So is the word NOW! and a perfectly mastered death stare.

 

 

 

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.

 

 

 

So stop asking me how long it goes in the microwave for! You do the math!

 

 

 

Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

 

 

 

Sympathy is not what you get when the game has been cancelled.

 

 

 

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem.

 

 

 

See a doctor.

 

 

 

So is an itch in the groin area that's lasted 20 years.

 

 

 

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.

 

 

 

In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

 

 

 

So that explains why you never remember my birthday or our wedding anniversary.

 

 

 

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.

 

 

 

Don't ask us.

 

 

 

I gave birth to 3 kids, what's your excuse? "Why have a 6 pack when you can have a keg" isn't a valid response.

 

 

 

If it itches it will be scratched

 

 

 

we do that

 

 

 

Oh so you can find the right spot when it counts!

 

 

 

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really.

 

 

 

At least I don't pick it up from the floor, smell it, put it on and load it with under arm spray.

 

 

 

1. Thank you for reading this.

 

 

 

Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;

 

 

 

But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

 

 

 

For once I can sprawl out on the bed and hog all the blankets. However could I sleep without the meditative trance of your snoring and mushroom clouds of beer farts.

 

 

 

---

 

 

 

meet quite a few along the way hehe

 

 

 

I hope you're faithful to her :twisted:

 

 

 

:XD: Lol, cant control it. :XD:

[johntm]

Funny topic and I like the 'female' reactions on the author/males supporting the author of this topic.

 

 

 

To be honest I don't care about anything, I just take the females how they are, is it that hard to just carry some bags whilst she's enjoying her shopping (She could be buying some new clothes for 'you know what I mean')

 

 

 

IGodessI I miss your old sig!

 

 

 

In my country people would say you'd be "onder de sloef" with IGoddessI,

 

she always gets what she wants :wink: .

 

 

 

Damn straight I wear the pants :P btw which sig?

 

 

 

hehe love it love it....and to answer your question goddess, I would never cheat on my wife; there isn't a woman fine enough for me to throw away my marriage, stability, love, friendship, the understanding of a great woman and a loving relationship with my kids...family is not only everything to me, it is the only thing....but along the way to this mature enlightenment, I had quite a ride :P

 

 

 

Australia and Romania were...um...amazing :)

 

 

 

Wow you got lucky with wives :) i turn 14 soon so i hope i get lucky to fine someone thats good.

 

 

 

Btw my cousins in mosul, iraq hese in the army. Just saying cuz u said you were in military

[johntm]

Lord Krohn, you don't understand that women need emotional support and because of society they can become very insecure about the way they look. If you ever want to get a girlfriend you have to appreicate them fully or else they will leave you. You need to have a heightened sensitivity to their emotional needs, because women aren't just for cooking and sex we can learn alot from them. You're too busy telling sexist jokes to appreciate the female form and the way it moves physically and spiritually. All women are beautiful which you need to understand.

 

 

 

I didn't laugh at anything you wrote.

 

 

 

lol, you have no sense of humor. if you like women so much, cut your penis off :ohnoes: and get steroids to grow boobs. :XD: :XD: :XD: :XD:

 

 

 

EDIT: W00tz, 4 posts in a row! Wow i really need a hobby...

[Denismage]

Lord Krohn, you don't understand that women need emotional support and because of society they can become very insecure about the way they look. If you ever want to get a girlfriend you have to appreicate them fully or else they will leave you. You need to have a heightened sensitivity to their emotional needs, because women aren't just for cooking and sex we can learn alot from them. You're too busy telling sexist jokes to appreciate the female form and the way it moves physically and spiritually. All women are beautiful which you need to understand.

 

 

 

I didn't laugh at anything you wrote.

 

 

 

lol, you have no sense of humor. if you like women so much, cut your penis off :ohnoes: and get steroids to grow boobs. :XD: :XD: :XD: :XD:

 

 

 

EDIT: W00tz, 4 posts in a row! Wow i really need a hobby...

 

 

 

 

 

You don't need steroids to get boobs, you just have to eat at McDonald's at least once a day.

[johntm]

Lord Krohn, you don't understand that women need emotional support and because of society they can become very insecure about the way they look. If you ever want to get a girlfriend you have to appreicate them fully or else they will leave you. You need to have a heightened sensitivity to their emotional needs, because women aren't just for cooking and sex we can learn alot from them. You're too busy telling sexist jokes to appreciate the female form and the way it moves physically and spiritually. All women are beautiful which you need to understand.

 

 

 

I didn't laugh at anything you wrote.

 

 

 

lol, you have no sense of humor. if you like women so much, cut your penis off :ohnoes: and get steroids to grow boobs. :XD: :XD: :XD: :XD:

 

 

 

EDIT: W00tz, 4 posts in a row! Wow i really need a hobby...

 

 

 

 

 

You don't need steroids to get boobs, you just have to eat at McDonald's at least once a day.

 

 

 

Good point, but make it twice a day :P

[blade995]

Lord Krohn, you don't understand that women need emotional support and because of society they can become very insecure about the way they look. If you ever want to get a girlfriend you have to appreicate them fully or else they will leave you. You need to have a heightened sensitivity to their emotional needs, because women aren't just for cooking and sex we can learn alot from them. You're too busy telling sexist jokes to appreciate the female form and the way it moves physically and spiritually. All women are beautiful which you need to understand.

 

 

 

I didn't laugh at anything you wrote.

 

 

 

lol, you have no sense of humor. if you like women so much, cut your penis off :ohnoes: and get steroids to grow boobs. :XD: :XD: :XD: :XD:

 

 

 

EDIT: W00tz, 4 posts in a row! Wow i really need a hobby...

 

 

 

 

 

You don't need steroids to get boobs, you just have to eat at McDonald's at least once a day.

 

 

 

Good point, but make it twice a day :P

 

 

 

Your both wrong, to get boobs, or bigger boobs you need to eat these :P .

 

 

 

http://gizmodo.com/gadgets/ineffective- ... 286386.php

[johntm]

Lord Krohn, you don't understand that women need emotional support and because of society they can become very insecure about the way they look. If you ever want to get a girlfriend you have to appreicate them fully or else they will leave you. You need to have a heightened sensitivity to their emotional needs, because women aren't just for cooking and sex we can learn alot from them. You're too busy telling sexist jokes to appreciate the female form and the way it moves physically and spiritually. All women are beautiful which you need to understand.

 

 

 

I didn't laugh at anything you wrote.

 

 

 

lol, you have no sense of humor. if you like women so much, cut your penis off :ohnoes: and get steroids to grow boobs. :XD: :XD: :XD: :XD:

 

 

 

EDIT: W00tz, 4 posts in a row! Wow i really need a hobby...

 

 

 

 

 

You don't need steroids to get boobs, you just have to eat at McDonald's at least once a day.

 

 

 

Good point, but make it twice a day :P

 

 

 

Your both wrong, to get boobs, or bigger boobs you need to eat these :P .

 

 

 

http://gizmodo.com/gadgets/ineffective- ... 286386.php

 

 

 

Lol they need tv commercials. Alot of women need those. These made me feel silly.

[Lenin64]

EDIT: W00tz, 4 posts in a row! Wow i really need a hobby...

 

Thats not really something to be proud of...

[johntm]

EDIT: W00tz, 4 posts in a row! Wow i really need a hobby...

 

Thats not really something to be proud of...

 

 

 

Found my hobby. Actually i got it for my b day. Im 14 now. And i have an xbox 360 elite with halo 2 ncaa 08 andxbox live w00t