Men rules for Women, read and heed

[sebbeberg]

weird. I like shopping for clothes and shoes.

 

 

 

Same

 

Same, well, if it's military BDU's and boots.

[Lionheart_0]

If you like shopping for cloths, check your pants.

[Lynyrd_Skynyrd]

Lord Krohn, you don't understand that women need emotional support and because of society they can become very insecure about the way they look. If you ever want to get a girlfriend you have to appreicate them fully or else they will leave you. You need to have a heightened sensitivity to their emotional needs, because women aren't just for cooking and sex we can learn alot from them. You're too busy telling sexist jokes to appreciate the female form and the way it moves physically and spiritually. All women are beautiful which you need to understand.

 

 

 

I didn't laugh at anything you wrote.

[Lionheart_0]

Lord Krohn, you don't understand that women need emotional support and because of society they can become very insecure about the way they look. If you ever want to get a girlfriend you have to appreicate them fully or else they will leave you. You need to have a heightened sensitivity to their emotional needs, because women aren't just for cooking and sex we can learn alot from them. You're too busy telling sexist jokes to appreciate the female form and the way it moves physically and spiritually. All women are beautiful which you need to understand.

 

 

 

I didn't laugh at anything you wrote.

 

 

 

1.You do realize this was written probably around 2000. (ive seen it a few years back, therefore, I know it is not original).

 

 

 

2.Because of number, who says the Author of this thread shares the same feeling. He may just loled at it, and decided that it was a little joke that he would like to share with peers on these forums.

 

 

 

2. No view expressed was every sexist of any sort. The whole point of those "rules" are to let: A.People know that the original author had a sense of humor, and B. That men do think that women need to understand a bit more of why we act we do sometimes.

 

 

 

Id really appreciate it if you didn't just troll our forum, looking for things to take out of context.

 

 

 

Kthx.

[Rebdragon]

Lord Krohn, you don't understand that women need emotional support and because of society they can become very insecure about the way they look. If you ever want to get a girlfriend you have to appreicate them fully or else they will leave you. You need to have a heightened sensitivity to their emotional needs, because women aren't just for cooking and sex we can learn alot from them. You're too busy telling sexist jokes to appreciate the female form and the way it moves physically and spiritually. All women are beautiful which you need to understand.

 

 

 

I didn't laugh at anything you wrote.

 

 

 

And no, I don't have a girlfriend.

 

Class, using your sharp intuitive skills, what do we now understand about the value of the former post?

[sour_tacos]

Very true.

 

 

 

 

 

We men have other things on our mind then clothes. When we need to walk into Gap to buy a pair of Jeans, we walk in, buy, walk out. For women, there's a detour through each and every store, and finally walk home with 12 extra shopping bags and 300 extra dollers spent.

 

 

 

...haven't i seen a map of this? let me go google it..

 

 

 

EDIT: here we are...and the truth.......

 

 

although i would personally goto old navy

 

 

 

Not true. As much as I like having new clothes, shopping is a drag for me. Its pretty much my girlfriends (and my gay friend) running around the mall squeaking about "Oh my gawd! Sale at Aeropostale! I have these cute pants on hold at Rue 21! And we HAVE TO stop at Kohl's I have a gift card!!!" My version of shopping? Cruisin' through a couple stores, grabbing what I want, paying for it, and getting the heck out of there before a salesperson and convince me that I'd "Look absolutely stunning in this!"

[Bubsa]

Could you guys get off Lynyrd's back? The guy's the funniest thing on this forum since Carlin.

 

 

 

I salute him.

[SuziAngel]

Hmm, ok. I have replies to a few of these:

 

 

 

1. Men are NOT mind readers.

 

 

 

And neither are women. We don't know where you left your keys.

 

 

 

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

 

 

 

As long as you're out of our hair while we're trying to cook Sunday dinner, we don't care what you're doing.

 

 

 

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

 

 

 

Sport? Good grief, no. It's an art! All we ask is that you carry the bags.

 

 

 

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

 

 

 

Then why must we hear the long-winded version?

 

 

 

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

 

 

 

That's not what you said last week.

 

 

 

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria 's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.

 

 

 

If you won't take us shopping, how are we meant to buy the desired clothing?

 

 

 

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

 

 

 

If it's money, it will be spent. We do that. :D

[lordkrohn1626]

Lord Krohn, you don't understand that women need emotional support and because of society they can become very insecure about the way they look. If you ever want to get a girlfriend you have to appreicate them fully or else they will leave you. You need to have a heightened sensitivity to their emotional needs, because women aren't just for cooking and sex we can learn alot from them. You're too busy telling sexist jokes to appreciate the female form and the way it moves physically and spiritually. All women are beautiful which you need to understand.

 

 

 

I didn't laugh at anything you wrote.

 

 

 

oh...my....god....you didnt think I actually authored that did you? It has been floating around the net for quite some time, I was bored, on duty (military) and thought it was rather funny, I also sent it to my wife at home, she thought it was hilarious as well.

 

 

 

btw, you are giving "dating/woman" advice to a 38 yo married man with 4 children, 21 years so far in active duty US navy....think I got it figured out, but thnx, I always enjoy getting relationship advice from 13yos.... :uhh:

 

 

 

Suzi: loved your response...hehe..

[Flametrooper]

Lord Krohn, you don't understand that women need emotional support and because of society they can become very insecure about the way they look. If you ever want to get a girlfriend you have to appreicate them fully or else they will leave you. You need to have a heightened sensitivity to their emotional needs, because women aren't just for cooking and sex we can learn alot from them. You're too busy telling sexist jokes to appreciate the female form and the way it moves physically and spiritually. All women are beautiful which you need to understand.

 

 

 

I didn't laugh at anything you wrote.

 

 

 

And no, I don't have a girlfriend.

 

 

 

 

It's pretty obvious why he doesn't have one, isn't it? :wink:

 

 

 

btw, you are giving "dating/woman" advice to a 38 yo married man with 4 children, 21 years so far in active duty US navy....think I got it figured out

Someone just got owned.

[PaperClipsYaaaar]

 

 

 

btw, you are giving "dating/woman" advice to a 38 yo married man with 4 children, 21 years so far in active duty US navy....think I got it figured out, but thnx, I always enjoy getting relationship advice from 13yos.... :uhh:

 

 

 

Suzi: loved your response...hehe..

 

lol yeah you get to know a lot about women when you're in the navy amirite?

[Rebdragon]

Could you guys get off Lynyrd's back? The guy's the funniest thing on this forum since Carlin.

 

 

 

I salute him.

 

Wonder whatever happened to Carlin. It was nice having him around, even for only a couple dozen posts :) .

 

Hmm, ok. I have replies to a few of these:

 

 

 

1. Men are NOT mind readers.

 

 

 

And neither are women. We don't know where you left your keys.

 

[...]

 

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

 

 

 

If it's money, it will be spent. We do that. :D

 

Touche :P .

[Tigra00]

Hide from issy :-$

 

 

 

Isn't she gone?

 

 

 

An 11 year old feminist is truely terrifying. By 16 she'll dress and look like a lumberjack and she's bound to kill a man at some point in life. :uhh:

[Bubsa]

Hide from issy :-$

 

 

 

Isn't she gone?

 

 

 

An 11 year old feminist is truely terrifying. By 16 she'll dress and look like a lumberjack and she's bound to kill a man at some point in life. :uhh:

 

 

 

I heard she aleady has. She ate his liver, with some fava beans and a nice chianti.

[lordkrohn1626]

 

 

 

btw, you are giving "dating/woman" advice to a 38 yo married man with 4 children, 21 years so far in active duty US navy....think I got it figured out, but thnx, I always enjoy getting relationship advice from 13yos.... :uhh:

 

 

 

Suzi: loved your response...hehe..

 

lol yeah you get to know a lot about women when you're in the navy amirite?

 

 

 

meet quite a few along the way hehe :-w

[kido14]

Dude, no need to have 50 different copy pasta threads at once going on...

 

 

 

:lol:

 

 

 

Copy pasta? I know what you meant, but that's hilarious considering the guy above your post made the same mistake.

 

 

 

If ignorace is bliss..

 

Lol

 

 

 

Agreed with Nadril though. If you are going to copy and paste something from a website, at least say that you did, otherwise it seems like you're trying to pretend like you made it yourself, without coming out and saying it directly, so you don't have to lie, run-on sentences are delicious

[Matok]

Toying with ourselves isn't cheating !!!! it's nostalgia...

 

 

 

(and part of our nature)

[doomy]

Lol, It's funny but also it's copied and pasted...I might copy and paste this onto my bebo page lol.

 

 

 

Oh btw guys...Its just meant to be a joke jeez...

[lordkrohn1626]

Dude, no need to have 50 different copy pasta threads at once going on...

 

 

 

:lol:

 

 

 

Copy pasta? I know what you meant, but that's hilarious considering the guy above your post made the same mistake.

 

 

 

If ignorace is bliss..

 

Lol

 

 

 

Agreed with Nadril though. If you are going to copy and paste something from a website, at least say that you did, otherwise it seems like you're trying to pretend like you made it yourself, without coming out and saying it directly, so you don't have to lie, run-on sentences are delicious

 

 

 

..um ....yaaaa,,,*scratches chin*...*reads original post*...nope don't see where I wrote "I made this" claim....its been floating around the net forever...figured every one had read it long ago, and would enjoy another chuckle years later...know I did....course if your username means your 14yo, then maybe its the first time YOU have seen it...so maybe I should have done a teenie bopper disclaimer in the beginning...my bad :roll:

 

 

 

get over it, your taking this forum thing way to serious.

[goldphishies]

Omg..........

 

If I had enough room in my sig, I'd put this whole thread in it....

 

I was rolling around laughing...

 

:lol:

[highlanders]

Haha true, but not for every girl. Usually, this is true for your average stupid detail-obsessed girl. Idk, 70% of the girl population. You gotta find a girl that thinks like a man, or is intelligent enough to not get caught into the stupidity 70% of the other girls get caught into..

 

 

 

Then again, you have the 70% of guys who are completely egocentric, idiotic, sport and cars obsessed, the common chap. And those deserve no better than their stupid 70% girl counterpart.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

HARD-DISK Girls:

 

 

 

She remembers everything, FOREVER.

 

 

 

RAM Girls:

 

 

 

She forgets about you, the moment you turn her off.

 

 

 

WINDOWS Girls:

 

 

 

Everyone knows that she can't do a thing right, but noone can live

 

without her.

 

 

 

SCREENSAVER Girls:

 

 

 

She is good for nothing but at least she is fun!

 

 

 

INTERNET Girls:

 

 

 

Difficult to access.

 

 

 

SERVER Girls:

 

 

 

Always busy when you need her.

 

 

 

MULTIMEDIA Girls:

 

 

 

She makes horrible things look beautiful.

 

 

 

CD-ROM Girls:

 

 

 

She is always faster and faster.

 

 

 

E-MAIL Girls:

 

 

 

Every ten things she says, eight are nonsense.

 

 

 

VIRUS Girls:

 

 

 

Also known as "WIFE"; when you are not expectingher, she comes,

 

installs herself and uses all your resources. If you try to

 

uninstall her you will lose something, if you don't try to uninstall

 

her you will lose everything..

 

 

 

Types of girls to avoid

[IGoddessI]

I've read this before he didn't write it himself... but inspired by Suzi I have my own answers too :P

 

 

 

1. Men are NOT mind readers.

 

 

 

Your socks are probably in the drawer where you left them and the vegemite is right infront of you, now close the f*cking fridge door.

 

 

 

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.

 

 

 

You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.

 

 

 

We need it up, you need it down.

 

 

 

You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

 

 

 

Learn to work your penis, you're a big boy now when I want it up, get it up. It's just like the toilet seat, if I say down, I mean leave it down.

 

 

 

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon

 

 

 

or the changing of the tides.

 

 

 

Let it be.

 

 

 

Your arse crack in the same football shorts you've worn for the past 3 days is like the full moon too, now turns off the football and go do the lawn, we don't live on a corn field.

 

 

 

1. Shopping is NOT a sport.

 

 

 

And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

 

 

 

Who says you get to shop? You're there to hold my bags and pay for it all.

 

 

 

1. Crying is blackmail.

 

 

 

So is hiding the batteries from the tv remote, so which one shall it be?

 

 

 

1. Ask for what you want.

 

 

 

Let us be clear on this one:

 

 

 

Subtle hints do not work!

 

 

 

Strong hints do not work!

 

 

 

Obvious hints do not work!

 

 

 

Just say it!

 

 

 

I asked if you wanted sex 3 times but you were paying too much attention to the cricket that I guess you didn't hear me! I'm not in the mood now.

 

 

 

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

 

 

 

So is the word NOW! and a perfectly mastered death stare.

 

 

 

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.

 

 

 

So stop asking me how long it goes in the microwave for! You do the math!

 

 

 

Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

 

 

 

Sympathy is not what you get when the game has been cancelled.

 

 

 

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem.

 

 

 

See a doctor.

 

 

 

So is an itch in the groin area that's lasted 20 years.

 

 

 

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.

 

 

 

In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

 

 

 

So that explains why you never remember my birthday or our wedding anniversary.

 

 

 

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.

 

 

 

Don't ask us.

 

 

 

I gave birth to 3 kids, what's your excuse? "Why have a 6 pack when you can have a keg" isn't a valid response.

 

 

 

If it itches it will be scratched

 

 

 

we do that

 

 

 

Oh so you can find the right spot when it counts!

 

 

 

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really.

 

 

 

At least I don't pick it up from the floor, smell it, put it on and load it with under arm spray.

 

 

 

1. Thank you for reading this.

 

 

 

Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;

 

 

 

But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

 

 

 

For once I can sprawl out on the bed and hog all the blankets. However could I sleep without the meditative trance of your snoring and mushroom clouds of beer farts.

 

 

 

---

 

 

 

meet quite a few along the way hehe

 

 

 

I hope you're faithful to her :twisted:

[Denismage]

What's even funnier there are women rules for men.

[knives669]

Yay for copying and pasting! Seriously, I couldn't follow it really well since they were all numbered with a 1. :?

 

 

 

And unless you men want to have sex with animals or other men (some of you may be fine with that though :uhh: ), learn the ways of the woman instead of complaining. :P

[Necrobean]

Funny topic and I like the 'female' reactions on the author/males supporting the author of this topic.

 

 

 

To be honest I don't care about anything, I just take the females how they are, is it that hard to just carry some bags whilst she's enjoying her shopping (She could be buying some new clothes for 'you know what I mean')

 

 

 

IGodessI I miss your old sig!

 

 

 

In my country people would say you'd be "onder de sloef" with IGoddessI,

 

she always gets what she wants :wink: .