... as per the subject title, I'll pose a pressing question - what constitutes a true friend?

 

I'd love to post my own philosophical ideals on the subject matter, but I'd like to hear your say first.

I'd like to think a true friend would be someone you can trust with anything.

Put in its simplest form: Someone who cares about you.

 

I don't mean in the way teachers or doctors are obligated to care but in the way they don't have to care, yet they do.

I'd say.. Someone you can trust to mess up, someone you can trust to do well, someone you can trust to have your back and you theirs whenever it's needed, someone who complements you instead of stifling you.

[snip]

 

... someone who complements you instead of stifling you.

Could you care to elaborate on that? I'd say someone compliments others (presumably that's what you're saying, but do correct me if I'm wrong here) aren't necessarily doing a good thing, depending on the situation.

 

A 'true friend' by my definition, would be honest but tact - compliments aren't sincere by necessity.

[snip]

 

... someone who complements you instead of stifling you.

Could you care to elaborate on that? I'd say someone compliments others (presumably that's what you're saying, but do correct me if I'm wrong here) aren't necessarily doing a good thing, depending on the situation. A 'true friend', by my definitions, would be honest but tact - compliments aren't sincere by necessity.

 

Complements, not compliments.

[hide=complement]noun /ˈkämpləmənt/  

complements, plural

 

A thing that completes or brings to perfection

- the libretto proved a perfect complement to the music

 

A number or quantity of something required to make a group complete

- at the moment we have a full complement of staff

 

The number of people required to crew a ship

- almost half the ship's complement of 322 were wounded

 

The amount in degrees by which a given angle is less than 90°

 

The members of a set that are not members of a given subset

 

One or more words, phrases, or clauses governed by a verb (or by a nominalization or a predicative adjective) that complete the meaning of the predicate

 

(in systemic grammar) An adjective or noun that has the same reference as either the subject (as mad in he is mad) or the object (as mad in he drove her mad)

 

A group of proteins present in blood plasma and tissue fluid that combine with an antigen–antibody complex to bring about the lysis of foreign cells

com·pli·ment

 

verb /-ˌment/  /-mənt/  

complemented, past participle; complemented, past tense; complementing, present participle; complements, 3rd person singular present

 

Add to (something) in a way that enhances or improves it; make perfect

- a classic blazer complements a look that's stylish or casual

 

Add to or make complete

- the proposals complement the incentives already available[/hide]

[hide=compliment]noun /ˈkämpləmənt/ 

compliments, plural

 

A polite expression of praise or admiration

- she paid me an enormous compliment

 

An act or circumstance that implies praise or respect

- it's a compliment to the bride to dress up on her special day

 

Congratulations or praise expressed to someone

- my compliments on your cooking

 

Greetings or regards, esp. when sent as a message

- carry my compliments to your kinsmen

 

verb /ˈkämpləˌment/ 

complimented, past participle; complimented, past tense; complimenting, present participle; compliments, 3rd person singular present

 

Politely congratulate or praise (someone) for something

- he complimented Erica on her appearance

 

Praise (something) politely

- complimenting the other team's good play

 

Present someone with (something) as a mark of courtesy

- Prince George expected to be complimented with a seat in the royal coach[/hide]

[hide=stifle]verb /ˈstīfəl/ 

stifled, past participle; stifled, past tense; stifles, 3rd person singular present; stifling, present participle

 

Make (someone) unable to breathe properly; suffocate

- those in the streets were stifled by the fumes

 

Restrain (a reaction) or stop oneself acting on (an emotion)

- she stifled a giggle

- she stifled a desire to turn and flee

- she gave a stifled cry of disappointment

 

Prevent or constrain (an activity or idea)

- high taxes were stifling private enterprise[/hide]

 

I'd initially thought that stifling was more in the same vein of complimenting, rather than complementing - it seemed to work better in the context. I'm admittedly confused though.

A better way might be to put it that a true friend knows when to be honest, and when not to be (@ the complimenting thing). Sometimes you need to feel good about yourself, and sometimes you need the truth (not that the two need to be mutually exclusive).

Saying a true friend is someone who just cares for/trusts/likes you is too simple of a definition for such key figures to one's life, and they don't necessarily have to be your "best friend" either.

 

A true friend is, how most would see it (by my assumptions at least), someone who would "drop everything to help you", I would have to disagree. They don't have to put their life on hold, but they would be the type to go farther than points people would stop out of moral discomfort because it might strain the relationship. They'd give their honest opinion and give the cold truth even if it might "shake them", but they do it if they think it'll be to the benefit. I could go into the details, but my overall definition is that my definition is somebody who doesn't necessarily prioritize their friends over certain lifestyle aspects 24/7, but when they help, they don't hold back even if it causes rough tension getting the aided on the correct path.

 

Short story: They aren't afraid to play "hard ball" if it is necessary to your benefit or solving a problem. I don't think "true friend" and "best friend" should be placed in the same area, but it is possible to be both.

Saying a true friend is someone who just cares for/trusts/likes you is too simple of a definition for such key figures to one's life, and they don't necessarily have to be your "best friend" either.

 

A true friend is, how most would see it (by my assumptions at least), someone who would "drop everything to help you", I would have to disagree. They don't have to put their life on hold, but they would be the type to go farther than points people would stop out of moral discomfort because it might strain the relationship. They'd give their honest opinion and give the cold truth even if it might "shake them", but they do it if they think it'll be to the benefit. I could go into the details, but my overall definition is that my definition is somebody who doesn't necessarily prioritize their friends over certain lifestyle aspects 24/7, but when they help, they don't hold back even if it causes rough tension getting the aided on the correct path.

 

Short story: They aren't afraid to play "hard ball" if it is necessary to your benefit or solving a problem. I don't think "true friend" and "best friend" should be placed in the same area, but it is possible to be both.

I was going to wait and try to think up a proper post, but I think you nailed it here, especially pointing out that a true friend isn't always a best friend.

 

The simplest way I would put it is a true friend is a friend who cares more about your best interests than the friendship itself.

Yeah, I did mean Complement, unfortunately I always mix up the spelling of it. Sorry.

a true friend is someone you feel is your friend and who feels you are their friend. the criteria for making that magic happen depends on the people :).

I apologize if this is offensive, but I don't think that has enough substance to really explain what a true friend really is. If you were explaining to an alien-being that a true friend is someone you feel is your friend, who also feels you are a friend - they'd be just as clueless as they were before.

Honesly I think Lokies description is most apt. but if you'd like to put out your own ideas, Assume?

... I need some rest before doing that, it'll be a brief run-through though.

 

 

Of course. Can't force you to post, yeah?

 

 

I apologize if this is offensive, but I don't think that has enough substance to really explain what a true friend really is. If you were explaining to an alien-being that a true friend is someone you feel is your friend, who also feels you are a friend - they'd be just as clueless as they were before.

 

no, not offensive.

 

 

thinking someone is a true friend is a feeling about them more than anything else i think. what a true friend looks like probably differs considerably between people. but if you ask someone - is so and so a true friend of yours? - i think probably a good general way to determine that the answer will be 'yes' is if the person feels that they are each other's friends - if they feel that the positive emotions and opinions and thoughts that they have about the other person are reciprocated.

 

broadly:

 

1. you have to feel a certain way about the friend

2. you have to think the friend feels a certain way about you.

 

what that certain way is will depend on the person. i interpret the phrase 'true friend' to mean a friendship you don't have insecurities about, hence it is a friendship that you feel is 'true'. and one of the most prevalent insecurities, in my mind, is feeling the other person doesn't feel the same way about the friendship that you do. ^ the conditions i mentioned ensure that that is not the case i think.

 

I hope that explains my statement a little more for you :).

A true friend is someone that's supportive, but keeps my ego in check. Talks to me about things we both give a crap about, someone I can trust talking to about whatever, and someone I enjoy spending time with. Also someone who I can sit in perfect silence with and not have it feel weird.

in what sense do you think this question is 'pressing'?

 

e.g pressing because you think about it a lot and it weighs down on you, pressing because without this definition straightened out we would all act like savages, etc.?

I don't know. I don't have any friends.

Everyone else has summed it up quite nicely with all the sentimental stuff, but you also need to be able to relentlessly mock each other without getting on each others nerves in the slightest.

in addition you need to feel comfortable slapping the other person when they do something the slightest bit agitating to you.

I really wouldn't say that, mate. Slapping them on the slightest provocation seems foolish.

oh i meant to append that sentence with *without it getting on their nerves*.

Everyone else has summed it up quite nicely with all the sentimental stuff, but you also need to be able to relentlessly mock each other without getting on each others nerves in the slightest.

 

This only applies for males. The females shouldn't be mocked.