I burn down said store and find the diamond.

 

I throw the diamond at your head knocking you unconscious.

I steal the diamond while you're asleep and sell it to a museum.

 

The museum has such good security that even the world's tougher criminal can't steal it. And if you try to steal it you're going to jail.

I steal it, then hide it on my person as I'm taken to jail. Consequently, this jail has better security than your museum, and the only way to get the diamond is by breaking me out of jail.

That's no problem.

 

Alakazam use teleport to teleport the diamond out of jail.

 

*Alakazam does just that.*

 

Oh, you said the only way to get the diamond back was to break you out of jail? Well, I did manage to get the diamond back without doing that.

 

Alakazam, return.

 

I throw the diamond to a planet that's about to be destroyed by an evil alien, hoping the diamond will be destroyed along with the planet.

 

I'm not giving up, there has to be a way to destroy that diamond.

Your trajectory is 27.33333333 (and repeating of course) degrees off. So it misses, hits another diamond, and returns to Earth, except for the fact that it lands next to my house. I find it and hide it under an obscure mountain range.

I blow up that mountain, take the diamond and still try to destroy it and still failing miserably.

In your misery you fail to notice that I swapped the diamond again. I throw it in your toilet.

I take it out of the pipe and feed it to my cow.

I get released from jail, get hired on in a felony rehab program in a butcher's shop, and slaughter the cow. I pocket the diamond and skip meeting my parole officer, fleeing to Mexico.

 

FREEDOM

I smuggle you across the Mexican border, and steal the diamond while you're sleeping take the diamond as payment. Then I legally re-enter the States and donate it to a charity for orphans with cancer.

Having been smuggled into Mexico, I get a job at the local pharmaceutical company as a janitor, mopping floors after hours. I steal some chemotherapy drugs, and walk across the border.

I trade the orphans life saving chemotherapy for the diamond.

 

I give the diamond and a look alike to a liar and an honest man.

I ask them both what color the other man's shirt is and take both diamonds because the puzzle doesn't work that way. I then give them back, because nobody would expect that.

I ask the honest man if his diamond is the real one then take the corresponding one and put it on mars.

A powerful alien is about to blow up Mars, but I blow his spaceship up before he manages to since I don't want him to mess up the system.

 

I go to a bakery and hide the diamond inside a cake there.

 

There are A LOT of cakes in that bakery, can you find the one with the diamond without causing a lot of mess and being kicked out because of that? I doubt it.

I buy every cake, find the diamond without making a mess (X-rays, MRI, weights, and eating one because cake onmonmon) and then give away the rest of the cake under the guise of a party.

 

Then I stick the diamond in my pocket.

I order Alakazam to use psychic to take the diamond from the pocket.

 

I tell the police (in a lying manner) that you stole the diamond from a museum and put the diamond back to the museum. (a museum it was never a part of in the first place.)

 

So I go home smiling about framing you.

 

The museum is surrounded by experienced gunmen who will shoot ANYONE who goes anywhere near the museum.

 

[hide]Oh, crap, I know that the next poster will wear bullet-proof armor or something like that. Ah well, they can't all be winners.[/hide]

<*DVD steps into a pocket dimension only he can access, and then also teleports the diamond to that dimension as well, using a method that breaks teleport blocking. This actively prevents everyone else getting a hold of it ever again, as no one else can steal it now from DVD himself, due to all methods of stealing it being blocked. Oh, and DVD shut the door on the dimension and locked it so nobody else can come in, and there's no way to break the lock or undo it except by DVD himself doing something, which he's implicitly chosen not to do.*>

 

That's it, folks... This is what I call "[/thread]"... :twisted:

 

~Master D. V. "Yeah, I just dropped the [bleep]ing bomb on this thread." Devnull

D. V. Devnull forgot that everything was opposite in his alternate dimension, thus leaving the diamond behind and locking himself up.

 

I place the diamond in plain view in a parking lot at a Hummer dealership. Nobody will find it!

I trip over it while painting graffiti on hummers in the middle of the night, and take the diamond home. I give it to Sees for safe keeping, and give him a beer for his trouble.

I shoot the beer, stuff the beer, and use the diamond as one of its fake eyes.

 

I place the beer in my living room.

I replace the beer with a bear, and hide in the woods. I then take the diamond out and use it to marinate a steak, which I feed to a starving adventurer.

I corner the adventurer in a deep dungeon, then petrify him with dark magic. I then drag his stone body back to my castle and display him, diamond trapped inside.