Skip to content
View in the app

A better way to browse. Learn more.

Tip.It Forum

A full-screen app on your home screen with push notifications, badges and more.

To install this app on iOS and iPadOS
  1. Tap the Share icon in Safari
  2. Scroll the menu and tap Add to Home Screen.
  3. Tap Add in the top-right corner.
To install this app on Android
  1. Tap the 3-dot menu (⋮) in the top-right corner of the browser.
  2. Tap Add to Home screen or Install app.
  3. Confirm by tapping Install.

The Time Machine

Featured Replies

Australia is never founded and all the ex-convicts go back to England and muck it up beyond belief. You wonder how that's different than what it was currently like. Then the aborigines of Australia see your sneakers and accuse you of being some kind of witch. They try to kill you despite you having saved them from aggressive slaughter by the new Australians, who think that the aborigines just have something in the tone of their voice that they don't like.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I travel back in time and prevent myself from making a spelling error in that previous paragraph. Then we do a dance together.

  • Replies 332
  • Views 47.6k
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

  • Author

Like I said already the time machine can only go at least 6 months to the past, so nothing interesting happens.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

*goes back to May 2006 and goes to the banning game and bans jdprs.*

Jdprs, so emotionally traumatized by the ban, becomes a homicidal maniac, hunts you down, and kills you in what can only be described as a needlessly brutal slaughter. He then sets his sights on your friends and family, which he knows because you banning him made you so egotistical that you tell everyone every detail about your life, thinking that they want to hear it, and that they'll be impressed.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I go back in time 6 months and stop myself from making a typo on an email. Then we do a dance together. \'

  • Author

You lose your internet connection before pressing send, and some crook kidnaps you and you can never get back to the present.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Goes to 1998 as a masked stranger and explodes the main FBI Headquarters, and leave no clue not even fingerprings and gets back to the present.

Yes.... you leave no fingerprints or hair strands.... but you stupidly wear a custom made ski mask and the person who made it for you spills like a top heavy glass of milk. The feds bust down your door and shoot you even though you're unarmed and not struggling. They justify it by saying you had a gun made out of sand and when you died it blew away.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I go back in time to the mesozoic era and squish one teeny tiny bug.

That teeny tiny bug you squashed? That was one day to become your great, great, great, great, great, great ect......... grandma, and since you squashed it, you disappear.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

*Goes back to earlier today to tell myself an answer to a math problem during mathcounts which the judges made me stopd right before I was done with it, :x .

  • Author

You are forced to talk to the princible for helping your past self to cheat.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Meanwhile some jerks makes your time machine broken. So no going back to 2007.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

*goes to George Bush's 17 birthday as a fortune teller and tells him "You will become hated president then you grow up"*

You go back to 2007 contemplating self fulfilling prophecy. You suddenly realize that its ALL YOUR FAULT that George Bush is president. You shame yourself. :shame:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I go back in time and type:

 

 

 

You go back to 2007 contemplating self fulfilling prophecy. You suddenly realize that its ALL YOUR FAULT that George Bush is president. You shame yourself. :shame:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I go back in time and type:

 

 

 

You go back to 2007 contemplating self fulfilling prophecy. You suddenly realize that its ALL YOUR FAULT that George Bush is president. You shame yourself. :shame:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I go back in time and type:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

You go back to 2007 contemplating self fulfilling prophecy. You suddenly realize that its ALL YOUR FAULT that George Bush is president. You shame yourself. :shame:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I go back in time and type:

 

 

 

You go back to 2007 contemplating self fulfilling prophecy. You suddenly realize that its ALL YOUR FAULT that George Bush is president. You shame yourself. :shame:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I go back in time and type:

 

 

 

You go back to 2007 contemplating self fulfilling prophecy. You suddenly realize that its ALL YOUR FAULT that George Bush is president. You shame yourself. :shame:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I go back in time and type:

 

 

 

You go back to 2007 contemplating self fulfilling prophecy. You suddenly realize that its ALL YOUR FAULT that George Bush is president. You shame yourself. :shame:

 

 

 

I go back in time and....
  • Author

You fall for your own confusing trick and get confused.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Goes to the first time of public television to stop 7 words to be censored.

A lifetime of exposure to bad words, as everyone fears, has absolutely no effect on little kids. The 7 Words which I will list here:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

1. [Censored for your own good]

 

 

 

2. [Censored because Big Brother says so]

 

 

 

3. [Censored because you're not mature enough to hear it]

 

 

 

4. [Censored because Big Brother still says so]

 

 

 

5. [Censored for the sake of all humanity]

 

 

 

6. [Censored for [censored because swearing in a censor note is still bad]s and giggles]

 

 

 

7. [Censored because everyone agrees that you shouldn't be saying it]

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

...become no longer bad. People have to find new swear words. One of them is Blaziken. You are banned for having a bad user name.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I go back in time and say "hey! where's the beef!" before those insufferable old ladies. I am showered

with riches for no particular reason.

  • Author

BTW, how would Americans translate Bursyamo's name then?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Anyway, people look at you asking, "what beef?"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

*goes to 1994 to see The Return Of Jafar in cinema*

You leave. Nothing significant happens.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I go back six months and stare at a wall for six months, stopping only to eat and *ahem* drain the anaconda.

  • Author

You get bored and go do something else before you can achieve that goal.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

*goes to the time the dude that had the oringal idea of Yu-Gi-Oh was born, and kill him with my gun while the parents aren't home, then disapear before anyone notice, without leaving any clue, cleans all foot prints, fingerprints, etc. by using a boots that can float you.*

You stupidly forget about security cameras.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I don't go back in time.

  • Author
You stupidly forget about security cameras.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And then what happens?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

*get's a makeover to look like crazy old man and runs around the tower and says, "It will be the end of the world tomorrow, we'll all die, it will be end of the world. I'm serious, it will be end of the world. We are all gonna die" and things related to that (no mention of Mr. B L)Full name censored due to the fact he was horrible. over and over again.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Location: New York City Tin Towers

 

 

 

Date: 10/9/01

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And get back to the present before the incident happens for real.

A bomb is planted at the bottom of the tower you are in. WHen you travel through time, you cause a major disturbance in the time and space formula for existance causingt the bomb to explode and collapse the tower. The next day, the planes crash into each other and kill all the fire fighters, police, onlookers and medics that are trying to search for survivors from the 10/9 incident.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Back when Leonardo Da VInci was drawing the vitrivium man, when he was trying to draw a circle and a square of the same area with the vitrvium man's _________ for the centre and convince Da Vinci about Pi.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Yo Da vinci! Mullitiple Pi! See pon too won by ze Radios squared! PiR2!"

electrofrog6ck.jpg

fotwunderbanner2zg4.png

DaVinci becomes smart enough to undestrand time travel and watches his own death, 50 years later. Realizing that it is completely impossible for him to die before then, he becomes the [female dog]inest daredevil the medieval surfs ever saw. In one of his stunts he inadvertently kills your ancestor.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I go back in time 6 months then instantly go forward to today.

You hit a time flux and end up trapped in the teletubbies world. :shock:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I got back in time to last monday to fix my latin test.

You pass it with flying colors. It doesn't quite match up with the rest of your 0.04 gpa. You are killed to prevent further cheating.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I go back in time to 1993 and stop the assassination of Bill Clinton that you never heard of because I stopped it in a spectacular example of circular logic.

You are forced to talk to the princible for helping your past self to cheat.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Meanwhile some jerks makes your time machine broken. So no going back to 2007.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

*goes to George Bush's 17 birthday as a fortune teller and tells him "You will become hated president then you grow up"*

Just wanted to say, yes, I would be able to go back to 2007, since I posted that a few hours after the competion. :XD: :P
  • Author

Actually you couldn't since this time machine can only be used to travel 6 months in the past and older times. Will you guys ever get it?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Anyway someone shoots you before you can stop him.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

*goes to the time of the great german war and saves the biggest slave of the war*

You get the slave out of the camp, bt are shot running away and the slave that you saved just leaves you there to die.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

*Goes back to 1913 with the plans for jetfighters and watches the Germans get blown to pieces*

> SELECT * FROM users WHERE clue > 0;

0 rows returned

There's no place like 127.0.0.1

There are only 10 types of people

in this world: those who understand

binary and those who don't.

This statement is false.

$DO || ! $DO ; try

try: command not found

due to Germany's early defeat, the war casualties are much lower, thus WWI does not earn the title "the war to end all wars." the allied nations don't hold nearly as great of a grudge against Germany, leading to much easier terms in the treaty of Versaisse, allowing germany and the rest of Europe to rebuild after the war, as well as hurting the German pride a little less.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

all of this means that Hitler does not have necesarry support to rise to power, and is soon committed after his downward descent into mental breakdown after both his artistic and political failures.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

thus, WWII never happens, but this allows to Russia to rise in power much faster and seek to expand its empire, while the U.S. does not have the military/industrial jumpstart to its economy and remains in the Great Depression. Russia quickly capitalizes on the opportunity and conquers the US. Dos Vidanya Comrade!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

*goes back to 1840 and kills Karl Marx before he writes the Communist Manifesto

  • Author

Some accident happens so you can't get back to two-thousund and seven. No internet or DVD for you.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

*goes to 1200 and kills the most dark knight ever, offers him a fight, brings my gun full loaded with bullets, just to find out if the other knights find me a hero. Then says "Sorry I have to leave, my world is too much for losers like you." and goes to the time machine.*

One of the more intelligent nights realizes that your gun is, at heart, a simple device. He makes one of his own and goes on a rampage. People then pay him oodles of cash to make them one. Because of you killing technology (the worst kind) evolved faster than our own mind's ability to cope with it. The population plummets to about 10% of what it was on the normal time stream. Seeing the devastation they cause, weapons are banned forever. The world is plunged into a time of peace and prosperity that hasn't been seen before humans showed up. Then a small dog with glasses takes over the whole world with a butter knife. Years later after his defeat (I won't bore you with the details) I type this paragraph and you fail to understand the Dilbert joke.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Now that I'm thinking about cartoons, I go back in time and stop cartoonist Bill Watterson from making a mistake on his comic strip, Calvin and Hobbes.

Create an account or sign in to comment

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Terms of Use.

Account

Navigation

Search

Search

Configure browser push notifications

Chrome (Android)
  1. Tap the lock icon next to the address bar.
  2. Tap Permissions → Notifications.
  3. Adjust your preference.
Chrome (Desktop)
  1. Click the padlock icon in the address bar.
  2. Select Site settings.
  3. Find Notifications and adjust your preference.