Estonian dude

I broke the rule of drunk chatting last night, as I found out in the morning. Apparently, I only chatted with 2 on messenger, and in the morning as I apologized, I heard that one of them had jolly good laughs on me and the other had nothing against it either.

The fact that I drink. Went way over our heads yesterday, the costs. Now I am super hangover and at a wrong place.

RPG, that is so screwed that even I wasn't so screwed yesterday. But I woke up with an unanswered call and two messages -_-

I spent over 130 euros yesterday on drink. What the [bleep] was in my mind? And it was a total sausagefest with us. but now, one dude is missing and I am at a place where I shouldn't be.

God damn, I should read whole this thread for background information, but I am too lazy... Anyways, still I was lucky enough to be picked among a handful of people to get to see the Presidential Election summary live in our national broadcasting company's headquarters. I shall be visiting the US ambassador there aswell, and I am quite anxious to see, what will be happening.

God damn... I've never drunk texted anyone or even prank called on my own. I am not using my phone that much. I mean, I don't even text and I don't activelly hunt for phone numbers or anything when sober. And I meant calling before I got drunk, to go out somewhere together. But on my way to the bus, I dropped my phone while I was sober and now it's kaput... EDIT: And Muggi, that post you linked here... GENIUS. It explains everything about me. But my problem has been, that my social anxiety has lasted longer. I got it when I moved out of town, after 3rd grade. And I am still not completely over it. But, lately with the arrival of new freshmen in my high school I feel like the situation has changed a lot to the better. You see, before the start of this year, I only had one person who I often hanged out with. And he was in about the same situation as I was, 'cept he had been quiet all his life. People in his grade hadn't talked with him for once in 9 years, he was that bad. So we made a nice couple. Now, this summer, he got a girl, and has been absolutely taken by her, so I am forced to contact with other people if I want to do anything at all. And now, after being a guard and a host for the freshmen party, and with everything I had to do with it, I feel myself much more comfortable around people. I chat with around 10 different people on FB daily and my classmates are jealous that I know so much about everything regarding our freshmen. Once, when I was out with freshmen, someone said to me that wow, you are just like a leader here. That was a few weeks ago and when I was drunk. I am still having trouble, getting out of that anxiety and I still have trouble speaking in real life because of reasons Muggi and the guy asking for advice had said, but I think I am healing. One bad thing still is that I live in a hellhole, and it takes me at least 1,5 hours of planning to simply get transportation to the town.

Well, I am drunk again, and I can say that I am a master of those skills, when drunk... I get into long conversations with girls that I really don't want to get into long conversations... AAAAND [bleep], she wasn't out today and I couldn't call that girl, since my phone broke down. So ATM I am without a girl nor with a phone.

The fact that my [bleep]ing phone broke down today. And the fact, that I am drunk as shit ain't helping either.

Since I am from a country that doesn't celebrate halloween, I am only astonished by the amount of awesome carvings flood the internet around the holiday. It's a really nice work! How does that carving actually work?

Still around... Sometimes. But I haven't done anything really. Out of that selection, I like the second one aswell. But you've got a really nice website up. BTW, them Icebergs just wanna have fun or the Pipedream t-shirts, can I get them somewhere?

RPG, this is quite exactly me. And what else, as I've said, I can easily chat with someone on messenger for hours on end, without it getting boring. I know boatloads of random bullshit, and I actually was in the team that won the national quizzing championships in primary school. But yes, that talking in real life, face to face, I kinda tend to get awkward silences since I am scrutinizing and thinking about what to say. And my mind gets completely wiped out when I am with someone I like... And I have that problem even when a little drunk, like someone is holding me back (it's me, I know), I am only free when I am so drunk that I don't care about anything anymore and quite probably won't remember the details next morning...

Bought me my first winter coat. Full black, very minimalist with 2 very barely visible pockets. Woollen one, with buttons, but the buttons go into 2-layer thingy, so that from outside you can't see anything besides one flap coming all the way down from up top at the chin til down low. Will post pics when I get it, had to get it to tailor to lengthen the arms part. It is slightly shortish for me for a full coat, but since I am so tall, it is quite impossible for me to find one.

Arvo Pärt - Spiegel im Spiegel. Sometimes I just have the feeling of something calmer... And it is by a fellow Estonian.

I don't like being around strangers, and that girl sort of was a stranger to me... Or actually, during our last party I had to physically throw out that girl's boyfriend, because he was totally wasted and started fighting with people and crawling on the floor. The girl itself was in Belgium at the time -_- What's worse, I know nearly everyone around our school pretty well, but she is not one of them. And I have low self-esteem and I automatically think that people don't think of me well. Damn, that doesn't explain everything. I am a mess. Just, I don't like being around people I don't know of. I'm fairly certain she has heard only good of me, but I can't guarantee it and I am a weird guy.

The thing is, I can speak with boys all day, all night without even thinking about it, and I have been able to maintain conversations and so on 1 on 1 with other girls aswell. This time, though, I don't know... Maybe it's because I really like that girl and I've never had a girlfriend or such before. There was one thing, there was one another girl that was also around, the friend of the girl that I like, but I am fairly certain she would have left... I've spoken to that girl before, one on one aswell, but it has happened mainly when I am not too sober. I heard later that on one party I spoke with her for at least an hour in a row, even though I can't remember a thing of it... And I chat with her daily on messenger... And I am in school, no job for me. And it must be fright of rejection. Experienced the latter a lot in my previous school, even though it has been years since I left this school, I have been mentally wounded and I am not completely over it. And I am freaking rambling again.

[bleep] the weirdness of me. Today, I had the chance to speak with the girl I have a crush on, practically one-on-one in school, and had 20 mins of free time aswell. And what did I do? I almost ran away, I like walked as fast as I could and ran up the stairs. I have no freaking idea, what went into me and I can chat with anybody just perfectly fine on the internet and usually otherwise aswell. What do?

Muggi, can you update us on your online dating progress? You got fairly quiet about it, no success? And dang, I am still only limited to FB chats. Mainly because it was 1 week of school holiday and I was away, but still. No progress.

WTF is the thing with you and $70 phone bills? In my country, if you pay over €15 a month (and that is with mobile internet), you are getting robbed.

As I am supposed to take part on the nationally televised showing on 7th of November, could someone make a short summary of what was spoken of in the last debate and who supported what?

Well, since we both live outside US, I can clarify that we really don't have most of the fun shows you have, or we have them like a year later. I download SD and whichever format has the most seeds, mostly widescreen though. SD because my internet is seriously god damn slow and I don't like waiting that long. OK, it isn't that slow, 2 Mbit/s, but still.

I am a [bleep]ing weird dude. I can't say anything properly IRL without being drunk. What is the matter with me?!? PS: This is 9 beers talking...

Damn, come to think of it, I still think it might have a bit of something to it, that plan. Anyways, met with that girl at a b'day party wednesday evening, but I didn't do anything besides chat with her for a few moments... I was drunk and she was completely sober and tired from a day of practices. Thought it wouldn't be the right thing to do something in this situation. Thing is, I haven't known her for a long time, maybe a week. I suggested going to the movies for this Friday, but she is broke and couldn't accept me paying for the ticket so that thing turned off. She said she'll invite me over for a movie night if she has a free house, though. Things are looking hopeful, at least.

Random fact: I got chosen to be one of 10 students in my school to be picked to watch the US presidential elections and maybe comment on them on our national broadcasting channel. LIVE. Thing is, that stuff starts at 6 AM on a wednesday... (7th of Nov) And I really haven't made myself familiar with the basic electoral platforms this year...

God, with that thing, AGAIN! Sorry for my rambling, but I was a "bit" drunk. And now, [bleep] it.

We've had 3 engines on our car by now and I've made my fingers oily more than enough.