muggiwhplar

You're both right... like Omar said, in reality, they're poly by default. But since most of society doesn't even know poly is a possibility, they're basically mono by default as a result of social norms and expectations. Just depends on your perspective.

I agree with what you're saying, but I don't understand why we're discussing this/what your point is >_>

Yeah, all relationships are poly by default until you promise exclusivity.

Yes, it would depend. But usually people don't make the best decisions when they're being led by their feelings-- even if those feelings are positive ones.

They don't usually stay for long though. Once a mono relationship ends once, it's usually broken beyond repair.

People do things they think will make them happy all the time, when in reality they're not becoming any happier. Sometimes they're even less happy. Anyways I feel like this is getting off-topic. If any of you'd like to discuss this with me further, feel free to shoot me a PM :)

Just because they disagree doesn't necessarily mean they're correct in evaluating their own emotions.

Well in this case I think their negativity is overriding their enjoyment.

If you can accept that sometimes the net "value" of these conflicting feelings can be negative, you also have to accept that the net "value" of those feelings can also be positive. You can't have one way or the other. You can interpret the word to mean walking on the moon if you want, but your conclusion is still incomplete at best. Negative emotions are 3x as potent as positive emotions, so generally negativity is the outstanding quality when it comes to dissonance like that.

Kimberly, that's feeling bad in my book.

Looks like we're going to have to agree to disagree... You can't be happy and be upset simultaneously. If you're having fun while playing RS, that's great. If you're not, then go do something else that's fun (whether in RS or RL)

It's not illogical. If you think logic even comes into this, you're really mistaken on the nature of ethics. It also doesn't mean microtransactions aren't bad. Are you implying that microtransactions are unethical? Not true. Who are you to decide what wrong reasons are anyway? Also it doesn't mean microtransactions aren't bad. Because we care? Unlike the people you say are too addicted to quit regardless of updates, we actually have an interest in keeping the game fun and interesting? Those people who stopped caring, who will take absolutely anything without complaint, aren't they the ones you mean by 'playing RS for the wrong reasons'? Those people who still have the energy to complain about what Jagex is doing are the only ones who actually care about the game. What you said also doesn't mean microtransactions aren't bad. If playing RS makes you happy or less unhappy, then you're playing RS for the right reasons. If playing RS doesn't do either of the above, you're playing RS for the wrong reasons. Simple as that.

Keep in mind though that there is nothing wrong with FEELING bad, if its your best friend or gf or whoever that upsets you. It's only bad when you act on those feelings.

Just edited my post :P reread it

You can get just as emotionally attached in a poly relationship without being needy. This is because when a girl leaves you in a poly relationship, there is a very strong chance she will return to you at a later time to resume the relationship and therefore it's hard to feel needy about it. Plus there's other girls you like to keep you happy. In mono, she is usually gone for good. No such thing as cheating in poly, either. Discussing neediness in non-romantic relationships is irrelevent, imo. Mostly since I think if a friend betrays you, you'll react differently than if your gf had done the same thing.

My point was people who don't buy into the monogamy trap seem to get labeled as having issues they're trying to repress, and I wouldn't be surprised of more people like RPG view me that way. That's how they write Barney Stinson and The Todd-- people who don't care for monogamy and therefore have "problems" fueling such beliefs. Glad you don't see me as similar to Barney, though. I appreciate it.

Neediness is the opposite of being carefree and not caring about how things end up. If he was carefree, he would've found out she was cheating and been like, "OK. Time to for me to move on." The fact that she affected him so deeply suggests how territorial and clingy he is. Hell, he was even crying when he finally let it all out. :lol: haha, I genuinely wouldn't be surprised if most people who follow my posts feel the same way. Look at TV characters like Barney Stinson on How I Met Your Mother and The Todd from Scrubs. Those characters are written as having deep-seeded issues causing them to act the way they are... so when a person like me comes along and has acts in similar manners to them, I can't really blame them for thinking "That dude's just trying to fill a void in his heart with a life like that." People don't want to consider the fact that you can behave/live like that and be perfectly happy... or worse, more happy than people who don't live like that.

It was more of his reaction that I was labeling as needy and clueless. If I recall correctly, the unrealistic expectations thing was the first thing I debated on here regarding poly matters. I think that was around early February if you want to look for the posts.

It's the name of what Vezon and Omar were talking about http://en.wikipedia....os_(philosophy)

dat telos Regarding the ethics of polyamory, you should take a look at the book I'm currently reading: http://www.bazkhani.com/wp-content/uploads/freedom_in_an_unfree_world.pdf More specifically, skip to p. 38 on the PDF-- Chapter 4: The Morality Trap. It's only about 10 pages. Take a look :)

If people feel regret after revenge, then doesn't that suggest that their judgment was cloudy when they made the decision? Or is it just a matter of them not knowing any better?

Well be specific in what you want/don't want and I'll let you know what I think is realistic, what you should shoot for, what you should reevaluate, etc.

I thought I made it clear that I feel sorry for neither of them. Shame on her for making a promise she couldn't keep. Shame on him for placing unrealistic expectations on her. Not sure why you consider my poly beliefs relevant here >_>

If he doesn't suffer any consequences, that's great for him I guess. I just don't think that his kind of behavior deserves recognition or attention, even if it's considered justified. I have little tolerance for people who willingly harm others like that.

It's all relative