lordkrohn1626

600 kill count on spiritual mages..........no drop yet *weeps*

Damn straight I wear the pants :P btw which sig? hehe love it love it....and to answer your question goddess, I would never cheat on my wife; there isn't a woman fine enough for me to throw away my marriage, stability, love, friendship, the understanding of a great woman and a loving relationship with my kids...family is not only everything to me, it is the only thing....but along the way to this mature enlightenment, I had quite a ride :P Australia and Romania were...um...amazing :)

:lol: Copy pasta? I know what you meant, but that's hilarious considering the guy above your post made the same mistake. If ignorace is bliss.. Lol Agreed with Nadril though. If you are going to copy and paste something from a website, at least say that you did, otherwise it seems like you're trying to pretend like you made it yourself, without coming out and saying it directly, so you don't have to lie, run-on sentences are delicious ..um ....yaaaa,,,*scratches chin*...*reads original post*...nope don't see where I wrote "I made this" claim....its been floating around the net forever...figured every one had read it long ago, and would enjoy another chuckle years later...know I did....course if your username means your 14yo, then maybe its the first time YOU have seen it...so maybe I should have done a teenie bopper disclaimer in the beginning...my bad :roll: get over it, your taking this forum thing way to serious.

lol yeah you get to know a lot about women when you're in the navy amirite? meet quite a few along the way hehe :-w

sorry all, was on duty, bored and surfing the other forums i belong to, saw these couple of funny items, laughed and thought you all would enjoy, didnt realize there is a specific spot for "jokes"...my bad.

oh...my....god....you didnt think I actually authored that did you? It has been floating around the net for quite some time, I was bored, on duty (military) and thought it was rather funny, I also sent it to my wife at home, she thought it was hilarious as well. btw, you are giving "dating/woman" advice to a 38 yo married man with 4 children, 21 years so far in active duty US navy....think I got it figured out, but thnx, I always enjoy getting relationship advice from 13yos.... :uhh: Suzi: loved your response...hehe..

ooooooooooops didnt know there was a section, my apologies.

1. Men are NOT mind readers. 1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down. 1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be. 1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way. 1. Crying is blackmail. 1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it! 1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. 1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. 1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem. See a doctor. 1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days. 1. If you won't dress like the Victoria 's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys. 1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. 1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of them makes you sad or angry, then we meant the other one 1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is. 1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that. 1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle, besides we know you will bring it up again later. 1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear! 1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really . 1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf. 1. You have enough clothes. 1. You have too many shoes. 1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

Amish Elevator An Amish boy and his father were in a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again. The boy asked, "What is this Father?" The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, "Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don't know what it is." While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, a fat old lady in a wheel chair moved up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened, and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed, and the boy and his father watched the small numbers above the walls light up sequentially. They continued to watch until it reached the last number, and then the numbers began to light in the reverse order. Finally the walls opened up again and a gorgeous 24-year-old blond stepped out. The father, not taking his eyes off the young woman, said quietly to his son .. "Go get your mother." :XD: :uhh: :ohnoes: :XD:

ya its probably been floating around, you know how it is with the internet. It was posted on a senior enlisted military forum site that I am a member with, in the humor section....I love Darwin's awards and couldn't resist sharing it with my fellow tipiters. enjoy :mrgreen:

1st, 4th and 5th place were my favs...love the flashlight through the brain....ironic justice :P

hehe yeah...every now and then the human gene pool needs a little chlorine :wink:

These people prove it is a terminal condition. As always, competition this year has been keen. The candidates this year are... Eighth Place In Detroit, a 41-year-old man got stuck and drowned in two feet of water after squeezing head first through an 18-inch-wide sewer grate to retrieve his car keys. Seventh Place A 49-year-old San Francisco stockbroker, who 'totally zoned when he ran,' accidentally jogged off a 100-foot high cliff on his daily run. Sixth Place While at the beach, Daniel Jones, 21, dug an 8 foot hole for protection from the wind and had been sitting in a beach chair at the bottom when it collapsed, burying him beneath 5 feet of sand. People on the beach used their hands and shovels trying to get him out but could not reach him. It took rescue workers using heavy equipment almost an hour to free him. Jones was pronounced dead at a hospital. Fifth Place Santiago Alvarado, 24, was killed as he fell through the ceiling of a bicycle shop he was burglarizing. Death was caused when the long flashlight he had placed in his mouth to keep his hands free rammed into the base of his skull as he hit the floor. Fourth Place Sylvester Briddell, Jr., 26, was killed as he won a bet with friends who said he would not put a revolver loaded with four bullets into his mouth and pull the trigger. Third Place After stepping around a marked police patrol car parked at the front door, a man walked into H&J Leather & Firearms intent on robbing the store. The shop was full of customers and a uniformed officer was standing at the counter. Upon seeing the officer, the would-be robber announced a hold-up, and fired a few wild shots from a target pistol. The officer and a clerk promptly returned fire, and several customers also drew their guns and fired. The robber was pronounced dead at the scene by Paramedics. Crime scene investigators located 47 expended cartridge cases in the shop. The subsequent autopsy revealed 23 gunshot wounds. Ballistics identified rounds from 7 different weapons. No one else was hurt. HONORABLE MENTION Paul Stiller, 47, and his wife Bonnie were bored just driving around at 2 A.M. so they lit a quarter stick of dynamite to toss out the window to see what would happen. Apparently they failed to notice the window was closed. RUNNER UP Kerry Bingham had been drinking with several friends when one of them said they knew a person who had bungee-jumped from a local bridge in the middle of traffic. The conversation grew more heated and at least 10 men trooped along the walkway of the bridge at 4:30 AM. Upon arrival at the midpoint of the bridge they discovered that no one had brought a bungee rope. Bingham, who had continued drinking, volunteered and pointed out that a coil of lineman's cable, lay near by. They secured one end around Bingham's leg and the tied the other to the bridge. His fall lasted 40 feet before the cable tightened and tore his foot off at the ankle. He miraculously survived his fall into the icy water and was rescued by two nearby fishermen. Bingham's foot was never located. AND THE WINNER IS... Zookeeper Friedrich Riesfeldt (Paderborn, Germany) fed his constipated elephant 22 doses of animal laxative and more than a bushel of berries, figs and prunes before the plugged-up pachyderm finally got relief. Investigators say ill-fated Friedrich, 46, was attempting to give the ailing elephant an olive oil enema when the relieved beast unloaded. The sheer force of the elephant's unexpected defecation knocked Mr. Riesfeldt to the ground where he struck his head on a rock as the elephant continued to evacuate 200 pounds of dung on top of him. It seems to be just one of those freak accidents that proves... "poop happens" :XD:

sure have, look it up in the Dictionary: It says Ethics: See United States Of America. 8-) :thumbsup:

really not interested in rehashing what I have had to go into in other threads ...over and over...it's like trying to convince the ignorant that the world is not flat...continue to live in your delusions. I know what I have done, what I have seen and what I have experienced...we do more for the weak and poor then ANY other country in the world....period. personally I think we should ignore the world's issues, rebuild our 600 ship navy, repave our roads, feed our poor, refurbish our schools and fix our educational system...instead of playing world police and constant protector to a ungrateful world. IMHO they can all go to ####, I say let them fix their problems, we'll fix ours. Once we fix our country, then we can think about lending a helping hand......not that they would be grateful....don't know why we rebuilt Japan, after we smeared them into oblivion...they got the last laugh as they own half of America now. We do it because it is the right thing to do, I serve because it is the right thing to do......put up or shut up. Easy to sit back in your comfy chair and judge those who are doing it. The world is made up of doers and watchers...which are you? To listen to the uneducated...we are "oppressors who invade for resources" :roll: :XD: sigh....this is going nowhere, have a nice day, peace be with you and yours.

....and what have you done for the poor third world worker? ...as a matter of fact...what has their own government done?.....go ahead..you can say it...nothing. Who deserves the money...rich businessman...or poor worker...well, in America...you succeed if you put effort into it...thats why we have the most millionaires....oh wait a minute, we are supposed to be dumb....my bad. Why should that "poor worker" be given anything but what he works for? So because he was born, and happened to be in a country where his own government does nothing to better him, and instead exploit them in many different ways, while lining thier pockets ....it's Americas fault? I know that is the popular opinion nowadays...and I understand you must feel better about your own inferiority and weakness by complaining about the rich and powerful...it's ok *pats on the head* The world hates us because we exploit them? *falls out of chair laughing*...you really snort up all the media hype don't you.... Canada is neutral by their own decision, we leave them alone. My child huh? lol look here simple one, I am 38 YO, been in the US military for over 21 years, make 6 figures with my wife because we both got an education *gasp* and applied ourselves in our careers. I have 41 military decorations from serving in all parts of the world, I just came back from Somalia/Iraq/Afghanistan in May...I have painted schools, fixed homes, fed the hungry, protected the weak, and defended more people in more countries then you can name. Want to impress me little man? break the vacuum off your wagon, turn the computer off, and go see the world...I have....several times...I know what I am talking about. I am not forming opinions from watching CBS news and other liberal controlled thinktanks. I have been there, and done that my friend, so don't lecture me about open my eyes....I am still knocking the sand out of my fatigues while you bad mouth the US, and make misinformed statements about the US, and the world in general. Grow up, get out, experience the world, taste a little combat, eat MREs for 8 months straight while you get 2 hour "combat naps" while you are guarding a Mosque that belongs to the country you "invaded". Worry about the next smiling guy in a toga blowing himself and you into salsa because he has been brainwashed with religion.......meh, don't get me started...you open your eyes CHILD

+1 hehe, amazing how as inept and stupid as we are that we are the world's superpower, and did that in under about 250 years, vice all the other countries who look down their nose at us, can't defend themselves, and constantly come running to USA for money and protection....i'd be embarassed :P I don't see how countries "come running to USA for money and protection". The USA did succeed in economic means, but at what cost? The USA companies have no shame at exploiting poor people all around the world. Haft of the chocolate you eat is the product of slavery, the t-shirts you wear were made by underpaid people working in unhuman conditions, and so on. Yes, USA businesses have traded morality for profit, that is something you should really be proud of, isn't that right? Truly the USA is such a beautiful example of morality, and generosity. No offence intended to americans, I am talking only about companies. American citizens are also victims of what is happening, lied to by their government, and ripped off by their own companies. exploiting poor people around the world? rofl....if they were not making our tshirts, they wouldnt be eating...remember that. That outsourcing that you refer to is utilized by a lot of people...why pay an employee $30 an hour, medical package, retirement plan when you can pay Jahkeem umdafa $2 a week....and they line up for the job...you know why? they dont have anything else. Every country has their bad moments in history, and I don't feel like going into a huge disertation about it, suffice it to say, everyone lives in glass houses, so don't throw rocks. Yes, EVERY time one of our allies is in trouble...who do they turn to? ...and don't say United Nations...what a joke...the UN delegates are corrupt, pocket the money we give them to feed their poor, and exploit their own people for private gain.....UN protection? yeah.....100k US soldiers called in, 25k Brits, 1200 spanish, 4 french...2 japanese, and a turkish guy...thats the way it always is...but we're used to it...while they look down their noses at us, demonize us, yet beg for protection.....you know how much good we do in the world? any idea? how many homes we have built, poor we have fed, medical care to the helpless....yeah we are not perfect..no one is, we have our corrupt politicians to, and criminals in our midst, just like everyone else...but who else is stepping up to the plate? remember the glass house concept......who else has been a country for 300 years, and done so much...and I can honestly say, the scales show the good far outweighs the bad we have done..... NOw lets not turn this thread into another political bashfest....keep it on topic please.

+1 hehe, amazing how as inept and stupid as we are that we are the world's superpower, and did that in under about 250 years, vice all the other countries who look down their nose at us, can't defend themselves, and constantly come running to USA for money and protection....i'd be embarassed :P

rofl, i love that one!

Florida, currently living in Virginia because of my job.

hehe gotta love it, we have all had our moments I am sure :P

......Although remember, not all min. wage people are stupid...... Absolutely, a ton of good hard working people keep this country running while earning only minimum wage....and a select few that um.....might be getting overpaid...and I say that in complete jest :XD:

hehe yeah, wonders never cease :P ...and you are absolutely correct, everyones gotta start somewhere, I have earned thousands of hours at minimum wage, and now my wife and I do quite well, not rich by a long ways :XD: , but we do alright, what more could you ask for...and I have never forgotten how far I have come, and always tip the delivery guy, or the waiter/waitress 20%. had some good times coming up back in the day, especially as a kid working at Silver Springs Park in Ocala Florida ;) good times good times, and later at Busch Gardens, Burger King, Pizza HUt lol...oh tha days

ONE Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half dozen nuggets. "We don't have half dozen nuggets," said the teenager at the counter. "You don't?" I replied. "We only have six, nine, or twelve," was the reply. "So I can't order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?" "That's right." So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets TWO I was checking out at the local Wal-Mart with just a few items and the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up one of those "dividers" that they keep by the cash register and placed it between our things so they wouldn't get mixed. After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the "divider", looking it all over for the bar code so she could scan it. Not finding the bar code she said to me, "Do you know how much this is?" I said to her "I've changed my mind, I don't think I'll buy that today." She said "OK," and I paid her for the things and left. She had no clue to what had just happened. THREE A lady at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive and pulling it out very quickly. When I inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM "thingy." FOUR I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. "Do you need some help?" I asked. She replied, "I knew I should have replaced the battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I can't get into my car. Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a battery to fit this?" "Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an alarm, too?" I asked. "No, just this remote thingy," she answered, handing it and the car keys to me. As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied, "Why don't you drive over there and check about the batteries. It's a long walk." FIVE Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One day she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, "I'm almost out of typing paper. What do I do?" "Just use copier machine paper," the secretary told her. With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five "blank" copies. SIX A mother calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher if she needs to take her kid to the emergency room, the kid was eating ants. The dispatcher tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and should be fine, the mother says, ÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ãâ¦Ã¢â¬ÅI just gave him some ant killerÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬ÃâÃ

Yeah it does....and the evolution comment was humourous satire in an attempt to...oh my god, never mind #-o :XD: