Dizzle229 Posted November 4, 2007 Share Posted November 4, 2007 Imina mortuary. I'm walking through a water way and I see a shadow against the wall in the next room. A human shadow. Only not quite human. The lights go out. I hear walking. Then they come back on. I walk into the room with my hand gun, and find a body on the embalming table. Nothing here. I return to the other room. A Body shelf springs open! A hideosly deformed man rams into me with a pipe! I promptly put a bullet through his face.This is Rapture. The story is about a man who is in a plane crash in the ocean. You swim to a lighthouse and go to the basement. There you find a pod. You enter and pull a lever. The door slams behind you and you go down. Once underwater you see a huge city. Rapture. Lets get started, shall we? Throughout the game, the voice of Andrew Ryan, the creator of rapture in the 1940's, will guide you over the intercom. He tell you about the three types of enemies in the game. 1. Little Sisters- These come in the form of little girls. They explore Raptur looking for ADAM, a substance found in deceased bodies, and use it to power rapture. These girls won't attack you, and are actually pretty friendly, but don't pick a fight with them unless you have a death wish. 2. Big Daddies- The reason why attacking a little sister is a suicide mission. These hulking machines won't attack you unless you first attack either the enemy itself or a little sister. 3. Splicers- The games main enemy. Basically deformed humans. Not much to sya about them exept they often attack little sisters which nine times out of ten results in a big daddy putting a drill through their face. If you do manage to kill a big daddy, the fate of the little sister is up to you. you can spare her, and feel all warm and fuzzy inside or you can kill her and take her ADAM. So why do you want ADAM. It powers your abilities of fire, electricity, and many others. This leads to my best list here. Ways to kill people. Setting fire to alcohol which enemies are standing on? Got it. The classic water + enemy = fried enemy? You bet. Plus there are several normal FPS weapons. Shotgun, wrench, handgun, and machine gun. Then there is another fun way to make your enemies need a bandaid. You can hack security bots, in a fun mini-game. This will make them fight for you. When they do run to heal on a wall healer, which is basically just a health vending machine, you can hack that too. This causes them to be poisoned instead of healed. When I first played, I was expecting an FPS. What I got was a great FPS. This game has great enemy design, creepy atmosphere, and a genius combat system. It is open world, while at the same time being linear. There is only one thing that keeps Bioshock from being the perfect game. It is too short. I completed it in less than a week. Oh well, I guess all we can do is cross our fingers and hope for Bioshock 2. I give this game 9 creepy little sisters out of 10. Poll: What game should I review next? A: Crackdown B: Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion C: Call of Duty 2 Whichever has the most votes on November 10th will be the next to be reviewed! Get back here so I can rub your butt. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ilya Posted November 4, 2007 Share Posted November 4, 2007 That looks like a good review but I'm not sure your allowed to create a topic for your personal review, I remember there being a thread with reviews, I'll dig it up for ya. :D Edit: I actually found a Bioshock topic for you- http://forum.tip.it/viewtopic.php?t=689357 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mamong Posted November 4, 2007 Share Posted November 4, 2007 Yes, I'm not sure if you can post here, but if you do want your review read, sign up to IGN. You can post Reader Reviews there for games, so you'd probably get more people reading those too. Nice review though. [Tip.It Mod][Retired][Add your Steam name here!] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
limpbizkit Posted November 4, 2007 Share Posted November 4, 2007 Do a full review please not half of one that we find out from reading the back cover. Tif 360 MGC Leaderboard Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dizzle229 Posted November 4, 2007 Author Share Posted November 4, 2007 ^ I wanted to post something longer but it screws up my computer. And it's a review that explains the game not a guide. And guys please vote. Get back here so I can rub your butt. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jjrox32 Posted November 4, 2007 Share Posted November 4, 2007 ^ I wanted to post something longer but it screws up my computer. And it's a review that explains the game not a guide. And guys please vote. Reviews generally tell you if the game is good or bad, and why. You pretty much just went over how the game works. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dizzle229 Posted November 4, 2007 Author Share Posted November 4, 2007 ~ Fixed ~ Edit: Unfortunately, originally I had a much longer, more thought out review, but it was too long for my computer to handle and I lost everything :( Get back here so I can rub your butt. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nadril Posted November 4, 2007 Share Posted November 4, 2007 You just told us what the game was and then gave about a paragraph on why it's good. And hope for bioshock 2? I mean... you know what happens in the end -- I don't think theres much else to be happening. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dizzle229 Posted November 4, 2007 Author Share Posted November 4, 2007 The reason I say Bioshock 2 is because the developer once hinted at a Bioshock 2. I can't add this quote because it was alread taken by Game Informer . Anyway, guys, please vote in the poll. P.S. Where is this rule that says I can't post a review? I'm not saying I don't believe you but I would like to see a link. EDIT: The reason I exlplain the game then do a short explanation of why it's good or bad is because, well, that's just how it's done. Get back here so I can rub your butt. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nadril Posted November 4, 2007 Share Posted November 4, 2007 The reason I say Bioshock 2 is because the developer once hinted at a Bioshock 2. I can't add this quote because it was alread taken by Game Informer . Anyway, guys, please vote in the poll. P.S. Where is this rule that says I can't post a review? I'm not saying I don't believe you but I would like to see a link. EDIT: The reason I exlplain the game then do a short explanation of why it's good or bad is because, well, that's just how it's done. There isn't a rule about posting reviews, I've done it before in the past and currently have one up here (HG:L review in my sig). Anyways I don't think a Bioshock 2 would be any good IMO. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dizzle229 Posted November 5, 2007 Author Share Posted November 5, 2007 Please vote. In response to the last post, your right. The ending that you get from saving all little sisters meaqns no sequel, but one you get from harvesting them means yes. A prequel perhaps? Get back here so I can rub your butt. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr_Putter Posted November 5, 2007 Share Posted November 5, 2007 I like this review better: Warning: Some Language and cartoon violence. http://www.escapistmagazine.com/articles/view/editorials/zeropunctuation/1394-Zero-Punctuation-BioShock It's the best review of a game I've ever heard. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Azvareth Posted November 5, 2007 Share Posted November 5, 2007 Please vote. In response to the last post, your right. The ending that you get from saving all little sisters meaqns no sequel, but one you get from harvesting them means yes. A prequel perhaps? Why?... Why should we vote on your review? It doesn't make sense. Are you going to add and piece together a total number of a staggering 5-6 votes and then head off into your little science lab and calculate the average value of ALL 5-6 votes, whereafter you proudly edit your OP where you add the result in big fat red letters? Seriously. This isn't the media forums. We don't make half-assed "votes" on everything that's posted here. But a bit of constructive criticism: you should probably have spent more time on it as it doesn't really tell us anything most people - having played it or not - already didn't know about the game. Also use spell check jesus christ. e: Mr_Putter, yeah, his reviews are truly excellent. He's a regular poster on another forum I frequent and his reviews always makes me laugh. My favourite is probably the Fable one (youtube it) and the one where he reviews the demo of The Darkness, the game just sounds ridiculously bad in every way imaginable. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dizzle229 Posted November 5, 2007 Author Share Posted November 5, 2007 Why didn't your quote show up? Oh yeah. It's because everything you said was wrong so you have no voice. Get back here so I can rub your butt. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Azvareth Posted November 5, 2007 Share Posted November 5, 2007 Why didn't your quote show up? Oh yeah. It's because everything you said was wrong so you have no voice. ICEBURN! No but seriously, stop posting. If you can't even take constructive criticism when offered it without resorting to pre-school mentality, then you seriously need to lock yourself inside a cupboard or something. With a bear-trap inside it. The cupboard is also on fire. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ilya Posted November 6, 2007 Share Posted November 6, 2007 I agree with the above poster, we don't have to vote/rate everything other users posts and even if we had to it'd be like 3/10, doesn't tell us any more then the back of the game's CD case. Also if you're not gonna grow up and listen to other people then just simply diss them you might as well just leave these forums now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dizzle229 Posted November 6, 2007 Author Share Posted November 6, 2007 Guys I can take construvtive criticism just fine but there is a line between constructive criticism and flaming. And I don't want you to vote on the review notice the poll. And he reason I don't talk much about the story is because the game is story driven so leaking too much would have spoilers. Get back here so I can rub your butt. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
richpoepaap Posted November 6, 2007 Share Posted November 6, 2007 Guys I can take construvtive criticism just fine but there is a line between constructive criticism and flaming. And I don't want you to vote on the review notice the poll. And he reason I don't talk much about the story is because the game is story driven so leaking too much would have spoilers. Seriously, that wasn't flaming. And I have learned nothing new about the game from the review. And I don't have it. Doesn't make me want to play it either. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dizzle229 Posted November 6, 2007 Author Share Posted November 6, 2007 Maybe beause if I was advertising it I would put it on the advertising forums? Get back here so I can rub your butt. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nadril Posted November 6, 2007 Share Posted November 6, 2007 If you're praising a game you do want to prove that it is worth playing to other people. Simply saying "it. was. fun" isn't enough. Also, where is option D for "no more reviews"? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dizzle229 Posted November 7, 2007 Author Share Posted November 7, 2007 There sint one and there will be another one no matter what. P.S. Where is your review? I saw you mention it earlier and I'm always looking for new reviews to find out what I should check out. I need to organise, especially with all the games coming out this month (Assasins Creed, Call of Duty 4, etc...). Get back here so I can rub your butt. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nadril Posted November 7, 2007 Share Posted November 7, 2007 http://forum.tip.it/viewtopic.php?p=5364746#5364746 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dizzle229 Posted November 7, 2007 Author Share Posted November 7, 2007 Nice! Ive heard of that is it out? And is it on 360? I reeeeaaaaly wanna play that. Get back here so I can rub your butt. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nadril Posted November 7, 2007 Share Posted November 7, 2007 Nice! Ive heard of that is it out? And is it on 360? I reeeeaaaaly wanna play that. Its out, and PC only. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dizzle229 Posted November 7, 2007 Author Share Posted November 7, 2007 Dang, my computer would explode if i just raed the system reqs for that :cry: Get back here so I can rub your butt. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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