Psychiatric help advice needed (anyone ever dealt with it?)

[dymed]

Most of this stuff is just me getting things off my chest and rambling. Please read the "main point of my post" part, that's the important stuff that I need advice on.

 

 

 

Wow, there's so much I want to say, but I will try to keep this as short as possible. And somewhat logical/organized; I kind of just want to blurt random things out.

 

 

 

I actually wanted to make this post about 4 or 5 weeks ago, around the time of the week after Thanksgiving or so. That is when I was at my worst. For a (long) while, life just dealt me crappy hand after crappy hand. Put on the pressures of medical school and then add in a major "life incident" to top it all off, and I finally totally broke down, so to say. I started thinking of really terrible things, started doing really terrible things that I am and probably always will be embarrassed of. Thoughts of suicide were rampant; I started looking into things far more than I'd ever like to. I closed down my browser so many time because I was reading about poisons and painless methods of suicide and the like when someone walked into the room. It was terrible. I'd even open up random help sites and sites with hotline numbers on them and read about what they suggested to do if you knew your friend was thinking about it, and tried to follow those things. I was very close to attempting it, but I either didn't have the materials necessary, or I would come to my senses long enough to stop; the part that scares me is that it might have been more about the former. I did end up hurting myself. In the beginning, it was to try and feel better, but I soon realized that wasn't happening. It then just became about doing it to purposely feel bad. Even feeling bad/hurt was better than feeling so depressed. Yeah, yeah, emo, I know, which is funny because I'm really probably the least emo person you'd ever meet. It disgusted me to do it, but I kept it up for a while. I did eventually stop though for a few weeks. Along with all this, I lost my appetite and stopped eating, sometimes for a whole day. I lost massive weight. I felt like a freaking anorexic person, lieing to people about what I ate and stuff. The sleeping went away as well; I'd be up for 2 or 3 days at a time, trying to function properly.

 

 

 

I felt so alone, like there was no one there for me. If you hadn't guessed already, yes, I did fall out with someone very, very close to me. No matter how many people were around me, I just felt totally alone and cold. It was driving me insane. For the most part, I hate being or feeling alone. So it was really getting to me, bad. I constantly cried, couldn't concentrate on my studies, didn't eat, didn't sleep, the works. I told no one except the person I fell out with (we still talked). He couldn't always be there for me though, especially since it was a long distance thing as we went to school in different states. Other than him, no one knew what was happening to me. People obviously noticed a change, but I kind of just made excuses and hid it from others.

 

 

 

What ended up happening is that I kind of got into a funk, and it wasn't that I was feeling "better", I just got used to it, kind of? It's hard to explain, but I was just in a very sedated-like state of mind. It was kind of a hopeless mentality. It wasn't in any way being better, but the thoughts of suicide did stop and so did the hurting myself. I think in a way that was even worse; now I was just perhaps subconsciously repressing everything.

 

 

 

Now this went on for about a month, but some more "life incidents" happened recently, and I'm starting to kind of lose my guard again. I picked up the knife again today, much to my dismay. I hated to do it, but I just needed something again. And so I figured I'll just make this post now and not tell myself to keep putting it off. I am really reluctant to do it, but I think perhaps professional help might be needed. Now, I don't completely believe this to be true, but I want to keep the option open. Around Christmas, I told my mom about how I was feeling. I opened up to her about a lot of things, about how I was feeling lonely and alone, how I didn't eat and didn't sleep well. I did keep the suicide and hurting myself stuff out of the conversation though. She brought up the whole going to a psychiatrist thing, and asked me if I needed to go. I told her no, and she was very relieved. She's pretty against me going to one (ironically enough, she's a doctor herself, a surgeon).

 

 

 

 

 

:idea: The main point of my post: :idea:

 

 

 

There are some free clinics that me and that friend have found out. I am pretty nervous/scared about going to one, but he said he'd go with me. I am not totally sure how they work though, so I was wondering if anyone here has ever had any dealings with psychologists/psychiatrists, especially if they were in free or low-cost clinics. When it comes to medicine, and even surgery a bit, I know how the deal works for the most part, but the psychiatric field is pretty different. I am a legal adult, but I am a student and so my parents pay the medical insurance bill. Will I have to involve any type of insurance if the clinic is free? What about if it is low cost?

 

 

 

Also, even though I am an adult, I think that in the psychiatry field, the doctor might have an obligation to tell my parents if he sees fit. How does this whole thing work if I tell him about the things I have done? Like I said, I don't want my parents to find out about this, at least not yet. Will he, or rather, can he tell them without my consent? I know the whole suicide thing needs intervention sometimes, and he might feel it best to alert them. Or maybe if he thinks they should know about the whole hurting myself thing even if I don't. Can he tell them about that even if I don't want him to? Basically, does anyone know what they can or cannot do? I hear there are some people here looking to go into the field, so maybe you guys could help me out with that.

 

 

 

:idea: More important stuff: :idea:

 

 

 

And also, I'd like to know about the actual experience of talking to one. Did they really help you out? Did you feel comfortable during it? I don't know if I'll be totally cool with telling him everything, those people kind of freak me out, it's like they have a secret agenda for you and are trying to analyze everything you say. What kind of questions did he ask? I want to be truthful to him, but I don't know if I will totally be saying the truth to everything.

 

 

 

I understand that I'm asking for potentially very personal information here. I don't mean to be invading, but I'm just wondering these things. Anything anyone shares with me would be greatly appreciated, whatever you are comfortable with. You can have a 100% guarantee that anything you tell me will be kept in total confidence. I'm on my way to becoming a doctor here, and I have a lot of experience in dealing with patients and such. I have also been trained in confidentiality time and time again and have been given access to private medical records. You don't know how many times I've been told not to talk about patients in the hospital elevators and things like that. :P

 

 

 

If you don't want to post it here, a PM or asking on MSN or some other chat client would be great too (probably even better).

 

 

 

[/end of important stuff]

 

 

 

Any other advice anyone has for me is greatly appreciated to. I'm just glad to kind of get this off my chest. It's not making me feel a whole lot better, but hey, it's something. As much as I try not to, I do believe that most of this world is a pretty crap place. But at the same time, I don't want to be a reason adding to that. I always try to be a positive person. A lot of people here know me fairly well, I'm pretty sure they can agree with me on that. Deep down, I am an optimist. I sometimes come off as a pessimist because the worst usually happens, and I try to be real about it. I also try to think that if i expect the worst, it won't be so bad, and if the good happens, it'll just be great. But who am I kidding, deep down I always hope for the best. A lot of people here might never have expected me to come up with a post like this, I'm not emo by any stretch of the imagination.

 

 

 

What really gets to me is that I don't think I deserve this crap. I'm a really good person on the inside, I know this. Yes, I make mistakes and do things that are wrong, even when I know they are wrong. But my intentions are never to hurt people. I end up hurting those I care about the most and are closest to me, and I hate it. I don't know why I do it. It's like I seriously have problems. I'm not some sadistic douche who likes to see people unhappy. I'm actually the total opposite. It's one of the biggest reasons why I want to be a doctor. I love helping people out and being a positive influence on people's lives. As bad as the world is, I think it's so important to just keep smiling. I want to be the reason someone out there smiles.

 

 

 

Yeah, I realize I should take my own advice here, and believe me, I do. I try my hardest. I try to stay hopeful. I am always telling other people to. It's really hard though sometimes to just smile when you have no reason to. That's another reason I like when people come to me with their problems. It's like I am helping myself through them. I stay positive for them, I smile for them, I am openly optimistic. It feels really good.

 

 

 

I just need someone there myself I think. Someone to hold my hand. I am barely in my 20s, but I'm always going to be a kid on the inside. I need someone to bring it out again. That happiness, that carefree-ness. I love it so much; I think everyone should always keep the kid inside them alive. I'm afraid mine is just dead for now. Bah, I shouldn't say that. It's more like she's taking a really, really (really, really) long sleep. I need to wake her up! I'll just stay hopeful about the fact that perhaps one day, and one day soon, someone will come along and wake her up again. I just have to be hopeful and keep my head up.

 

 

 

If you read this whole thing, please say so; you deserve a medal, haha. Thanks a lot for taking the time to listen. If anyone has any questions for me, please feel free to ask. I'm a pretty open person. I can also be caught on MSN, just drop me a line. I don't bite too hard. Unless of course, you know, you're good looking. :wink:

 

 

 

It's appreciated guys. :D

 

 

 

-Karisma

[Nadril]

I won't like, I mostly skimmed this post.

 

 

 

However godess (I goddess I) could probably help you out more than any of us could here.

[rushrock]

^ Uh huh.

 

 

 

I read the whole thing, but I really don't know what to say, other than to get some help and to make sure it's confidential. Ask the doctor.

[raylifes]

Hmmm...

 

 

 

I can't really give you much advice, but I can tell you that going into therapy might help a lot. I used to have very negative feelings towards therapy, but decided to try it anyway. I'm now undergoing cognitive behavioral therapy and it's helping me out a lot.

 

 

 

Just talking to someone about my problems helps a lot and starting with therapy has opened my eyes to the reason for a lot of my problems. I'm still depressed, but I can tell you that going into therapy helps a lot. I used to have the same feelings as you towards psychiatrists.

 

 

 

it's like they have a secret agenda for you and are trying to analyze everything you say.

 

 

 

Luckily I'm now over it. What you have to realise is, that what you said is true. They do have an agenda, thought it isn't secret. What they want is to help you. They do analyze everything you say, they have to, how else are they going to help you? :wink:

 

 

 

I am very lucky with the doctor helping me out, she is a very nice person and I feel really comfortable around her, which helps me with being open about my problems. You should (just like you are doing through your post) try to find out if everything you say stays in that room. If so, be honest about everything!

 

 

 

Being honest helps, because obviously the diagnosis has to be accurate. Besides that, you will eventually feel way more comfortable with the doctor once you told everything, been totally honest.

 

 

 

Sadly I can't give any advice regarding clinics and such, because I'm dutch. Therapy is refunded by insurance...

 

 

 

 

 

Good luck with your problems. If you ever need someone to talk to, just pm me. (I don't mind if you send really longs pm's) And try to find some help. Trying to solve your problems by yourself is nice and all, but there is no shame in asking someone for a helping hand. :wink:

 

 

 

Ps. I read the whole post.

[Tim]

what your going through its an extremly painful process. i myself am still picking up the shards 6 months later (but im a total wuss-bag :wink: ) the most important thing you do is make sure you feel safe and its good to talk to a pcysk' (excuse tha spelling) as it makes most people feel good to tell others about their issues and because you are an adult he cant consent your disscussion to your parents without your permission. personally im to much of a sissy to see noe because i know i have emotional probs but i refuse to see it with someone else (long story).

 

 

 

overall its can help your health and yourself in the long run. :lol:

 

 

 

PS: i too put others happiness in front of mine....maybe i need a selfish moment :

[Ginger_Warrior]

Actually, I think Mel would be first to admit not even she can properly deal with this situation. She's not actually a fully-trained psychiatrist from what I know. It's like how you can't practice as a doctor simply because you have 5 years at medical school under your belt; you have to go into specialist training after university before you can start practising. At least I think that's how it is in the UK, not sure about the US.

 

 

 

You'll have to forgive me for speaking as a citizen of the UK, so we're covered by NHS procedures. I have no idea if it's the same in the US but I can't imagine it would be too different.

 

 

 

To be honest, you do have to see some sort of medical professional if you want to get better. The classic advice from NHS Direct when it comes to dperession and similar circumstances is to take a note of your symptons over the past two weeks, and then go to see your GP. Also, ask yourself whether it isn't just grief that you can easily get over in the short-term, or do you actually think it's something more serious; be honest about it because mental illness isn't something that can easily be picked up. there's no physical conclusive test for it. They'll make sure it's not a physical condition (take a measure of the neurotransmitters in your brain, etc.), and if not, they'll refer you for psychiatric help.

 

 

 

I have no personal experience of going to psychiatrists. I have been to councilling when I was younger, but not a psychiatrist. I do know a couple of people that have though and yes, they found the experience very good. They both at least got much better anyway. One was given antidepressants but has since given them up and is living her own life well now.

 

 

 

As for finances, I wish I could help you there but like I said, we live under a completely free health service so we don't have to think of things like Medical Insurance and whether the bill is thrown to our parents. I presume you live in the Us, so maybe another American can tell you that info?

 

 

 

More general advice from me though is just try to remain balanced. You seem to be thinking way too negatively at the moment and yes that can cause serious psycholigical illness; not just depression, but many more. Although since you're a medical student I'm presuming you know a slight bit about that. If you feel yourself getting down, do anything that will make you hopeful for a positive outcome again.

 

 

 

I hope anything I've said has helped ya, but as Nadril says, I doubt there's anyone on these forums that can actually properly help you.

[Kiriyama]

I read most of it, just skimmed through some of the last parts.

 

 

 

However.

 

 

 

If you do go to see a doctor or something about it. They can't tell your parents anything, heck even if you were say 14, the doctor couldn't say anything. The Doctor would need your consent to tell your parents. (Just like if a 13 year old female were to go to the doctor about getting the pill, he/she can't say anything to the parents). However, if you were in serious danger of commiting suicide, I think the doctor can give some anti-depression pills, and since you are now legally an adult, your parents will never have to know.

 

 

 

I've never actually had to see a doctor about stuff like that, (anger management, and my ma was there, I have), but you do feel quite relaxed when talking to them. Just say the truth, however if you feel uncomfortable answering a question, then say that you don't feel comfortable answering said question.

[Socrates]

Oh, well i'm sorry to read this, and i'm sure you've heard that millions of times, from everywhere you've poested. But i'd rather not feel myself a stranger on another computer probably miles away. I care about you, yes we've never met or anything but I know what it is like to go through that. I know two people who are going through similar things, not how I didn't say the same things as nothing can be the same with two people; There are different factors to cause both of them.

 

 

 

To be honest, I can't heal you over the internet. Only thank you that when I asked you how you were you replied "not to good" and showed me this post rather than bottling up with a "not bad, yourself" style answer. I think the best thing that you can do is open up, to someone close is probably better, but anyone would just help a little bit. And even if it didn't you've still got another person looking out for you.

 

 

 

[Flame_guy3]

Nah they can't docotors have to keep confidentiality or they lose their job, plus if they do tell your parents you can sue em easy :wink: .

 

 

 

I felt so sorry reading most of your post and just like to let you know a lot of people have felt upset in their lives, maybe not to your extent but depressed nonetheless. Problem with Psychiatry is that you never know if your going to see a good one or a bad one if your going to a free clinic.

 

 

 

Private practice ensures the best quality doctors whether it be surgeons or psychiatrists thats why those people mint money from people who are willing to pay for high quality work.

 

 

 

It wont be guaranteed that you'll see a good psychiatrist in a free clinic and if the psychiatrist you see isn't making you feel any better let them know this or even just go to a different psychiatrist.

 

 

 

I really don't have too much experience in this but yeah i agree with Nadril when he says I Goddess I will help you more than the rest of us he's really right, add me on msn if you want ill see if i can help out too.

[Animaslayer]

meh been thru it still flicker back to it but no knifey knifey bits just been not eating much =S

[knives669]

I read your entire post and I want you to know that you're not the only person who has gone through this.

 

 

 

I became severely depressed during my freshman year in high school (which was about 3 years ago). I started thinking of suicide, even attempting it once. It wasn't a good time for me, and I can understand what you are going through right now. The good thing is, you have a mother who seems to care very much for you and just wants what you think will make you feel better. You mentioned that she asked you if you needed to see someone, which shows that she does care. Even though you feel alone, it seems to me as though you have plenty of people in your life who are concerned about you and just want what is best for you. ^_^

 

 

 

In my opinion, you do need to see someone. I'm not trying to say that you're crazy. :P I've been seeing a psychologist and a psychiatrist for 3 years. I'm even on medication for my depression.

 

 

 

No matter where you go, you'll most likely talk to a psychologist the most. Psychiatrists tend to be busier, and you'll probably only see one if you express interest in taking medication. My psychologist is a very nice, kind, soft spoken woman who makes me feel very relaxed, and has a good way of sorting things out with me (which I'm sure she has that effect on most people. :P ). No. She doesn't seem like she has some kind of secret agenda for me. :P And if the person you happen to see makes you feel uncomfortable, you can always go see someone else. You just sit down and talk. ^_^ The psychologist may ask you if you know why you feel the way you do, what's been happening in your life, things like that. You just talk to them like you would your best friend. It's certainly not a bad experience, and I often leave my psychologist's office feeling as though I've had a weight lifted off my shoulders.

 

 

 

Also, you are an adult, and they cannot tell your parents anything. However, (and I'm not trying to scare you here) if they honestly think you pose a threat to someone else, they can tell the authorities. Like, if you go in there and say "I'm going to go rob a bank and kill everyone I see!" then you hop in your car and speed away, they're probably going to call the police on you. :P

 

 

 

I've told you all that I can, but I would like to remind you that you really do have people in your life that care about you. ^_^ I hope that in making your post you got a few things off your chest and were able to feel somewhat better. And of course, I hope that things work out for you. If you ever need to talk about anything, I know you have me on MSN, but you can feel free to drop me a PM.

[Hummerboy]

I went to a psychologist before. I was having a though time with a teacher in 6th grade. It wasn't for a real serious issue but it made me feel better! \

[Make7upu101]

I read the whole thing. It does sound like you could use a little guidance. When I was younger my parent's took me to various psychologists (and eventually one psychiatrist) for what I think may have been depression. It's hard to remember since it's been so long.

 

 

 

About a year ago, I was having some problems with my father and we all went to see a psychologist that specialized in my age group. You'll be surprised how comfortable a good shrink can make you feel. Yeah they do analyze everything you say or communicate but it is their job. It got a little annoying when things didn't go in quite the direction I wanted but I also don't believe we needed to go to a psychologist at the time.

 

 

 

My problems all worked themselves out in time. I don't think that's always the case. It sounds like you should really just try talking to one. They signed up for the job because 1) they wanted to help people and 2) they were at least somewhat good at it.

[Wachtwoord]

I'm not a psychologist myself, but I do like helping people with this kind of problems a lot. So what I'm going to say now may be utterly bull crap, but I'll give you my advice anyway.

 

 

 

In my experience, it's the most important to know why you feel the way you do. This usually has to do with something which happened to you or your loved ones in the past. The best way to find it out is to have a conversation with someone you can trust. Therefore, I suggest going to psychologist, a conversation helps much more then some random people on a forum telling you something. But this will only work if you fully trust that person, speak totally open with him/her, mostly the things you're ashamed of the most are one of the causes of your problems. Don't worry about (s)he'll tell it to your parents, just like lawyers, all doctors of that kind have a pledge of secrecy. They're not allowed to tell anyone about your problems if you don't want them to. (Unless you form a big threat for society, but I doubt that's the case.)

 

 

 

No, I've never gone to someone like that myself, but I know conversations with someone who really listens and tries to guide you through your problems can change you immensely. It's very hard to explain the how and why, but I've just seen it often myself. If you think the step is too big, you can always talk to your friends/family first. However, even though they really try to help, most just don't have the right skills to have such a conversation. I know this probably sounds strange to hear from a total stranger, but if you're really desperate, I can give it a shot too. I've helped a few people this way already. But I heavily suggest a professional first.

[IGoddessI]

First of all I would love to thank you Karisma for sharing your thoughts with us. Before we address any messy stuff I just wanted to point out that you have an absolutely amazing talent for creative writing, have you ever considered putting your feelings in to writing, rather than cutting? You express yourself perfectly and you are an absolute natural. I believe you could produce some beautiful poetry of some sort from within you.

 

 

 

I can't make everything go away but I can certainly be there for you when you need me to. I noticed you don't like to be alone and to be honest I don't really like to be alone either, maybe we can talk and keep each other company? I always like to make new friends.

 

 

 

You're another example that depression can hit anyone, no matter what qualifications you have, no matter how professional your family is, how high your IQ is etc

 

 

 

My best friend Jack committed suicide last year, similar to your experience he was a medical student, the top of his class and both of his parents were also medical professionals. He never let anyone know what was going on and one day, ended it all much to everyoneÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢s surprise.

 

 

 

And also, I'd like to know about the actual experience of talking to one. Did they really help you out? Did you feel comfortable during it? I don't know if I'll be totally cool with telling him everything, those people kind of freak me out, it's like they have a secret agenda for you and are trying to analyse everything you say. What kind of questions did he ask? I want to be truthful to him, but I don't know if I will totally be saying the truth to everything.

 

 

 

I noticed you mentioned this part was the most important part, so I thought we would start off with this first.

 

 

 

First I'd like to introduce myself, my name is Melissa and I'm a 21 year old psychology graduate. I am registered with the QLD board of psychology but obviously nowhere near as qualified as clinical psychologists who have their PhD's and own private practise experience etc.

 

 

 

To put it bluntly, your psychologist visit comes down to searching for the right person. Some people you won't be able to connect with, others will feel right for you. Much like a doctor, which I'm sure you're familiar with :)

 

 

 

My first visit was with my high school counsellor about guy problems, I took his advice and things ended tragically much to my growing hate towards counsellors and psych people (believe it or not).

 

 

 

Later I needed to see a different one when I was 17 and was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and the OCD a large proportion of bipolar sufferers get with it. I later became fascinated by my own illness (although I had been infatuated with the mind and how it works for a long time) which made me want to complete a degree lol The guy I went to there was amazing and really helped my life out.

 

 

 

I can promise you coming from self experience on both sides of the fence that there is no hidden agenda. Their main aim is to help you to become better and to find the parts of you that are well, to help heal the parts that are hurting, to make you whole again :D

 

 

 

Obviously it's impossible to become completely whole. Metaphorically speaking, it's like a vase that has been smashed on the ground, you can fix it but it will still have cracks in it. However, it can still be used for its original purpose quite easily.

 

 

 

Their job would be to help you pick each piece off the ground, piece by piece and glue them all back together again. You can tell them anything, much like a doctor.

 

 

 

They are trained to see unconscious problems that you wouldn't necessarily see yourself, so lying wouldn't be beneficial, or they can't help you fix your parts.

 

 

 

There are some free clinics that I and that friend have found out. I am pretty nervous/scared about going to one, but he said he'd go with me. I am not totally sure how they work though, so I was wondering if anyone here has ever had any dealings with psychologists/psychiatrists, especially if they were in free or low-cost clinics. When it comes to medicine, and even surgery a bit, I know how the deal works for the most part, but the psychiatric field is pretty different. I am a legal adult, but I am a student and so my parents pay the medical insurance bill. Will I have to involve any type of insurance if the clinic is free? What about if it is low cost?

 

 

 

It is good that your friend is willing to be there for you and help you take these steps. The best part would be going inside and asking all the questions you want to know. With a visit, having a friend there would seem like a good idea but only for the first one or two times. Obviously there are even things you don't want your best friend to know about you and eventually it will be time for them to stop coming to visits with you.

 

 

 

From my experience, it was free. I was referred by my doctor to one, free of charge.

 

 

 

Also, even though I am an adult, I think that in the psychiatry field, the doctor might have an obligation to tell my parents if he sees fit. How does this whole thing work if I tell him about the things I have done? Like I said, I don't want my parents to find out about this, at least not yet. Will he, or rather, can he tell them without my consent? I know the whole suicide thing needs intervention sometimes, and he might feel it best to alert them. Or maybe if he thinks they should know about the whole hurting myself thing even if I don't. Can he tell them about that even if I don't want him to? Basically, does anyone know what they can or cannot do? I hear there are some people here looking to go into the field, so maybe you guys could help me out with that.

 

 

 

A psychologist has the same patient confidentiality as a doctor. He or she may not give any information to anybody else without your written consent. Even though you feel like committing suicide, they will not do anything against your will. Psycho therapy involves working together as a team to sort your problems out, never judged, never feeling pressured to say or do anything you don't want to do. You are free to remain silent or say no.

 

 

 

I donÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢t recommend myself to instantly heal you or fix your problems but you may talk to me and maybe I can help with a couple of them before your new psychologist comes in.

 

 

 

I have a person on my msn who even likes to inform me on how their psychologist visits go, which I feel flattered by.

 

 

 

To be honest most of the time it just comes down to someone, wanting to be listened to without being frowned upon and without the immense pressure to perform well.

 

 

 

Pressure can turn your body and mind in to a gas cooker, literally.

 

 

 

To be honest, I love to feel important and know that other people need me in their life. Pretty much came from a family that always told me I was never good enough and under constant pressure to be the best.

 

 

 

I lost 2 of the best friends, someone could ever ask for in my teenage years. Back then I would always feel like I needed someone in my life to feel worthy of myself. Without my partner, I feel lost. It's not that I'm desperate to be around people, I have a lot of friends, I just lacked that one special someone to let in to my life.

 

 

 

It doesn't even have to be a person. I got depressed after I lost my CAT!! he was my best mate who needed me and I needed him. He actually wanted to be around me and I liked that. For the first time in my life I felt appreciated.

 

 

 

Maybe all you need is a best friend?

[arizark]

not to scare you or anything but you really gotta get the right psychiatric doctor for you, i had one for a long time that i despised but i couldnt get another doctor since i was referred to him or something like that and he ended up making things 10x worse when he tried to get my family involved.

 

 

 

just make sure you feel comfortable when you talk to the psychiatrist or things could turn bad

 

 

 

also just keep in mind there is always a tomorrow that will be different.

[IGoddessI]

not to scare you or anything but you really gotta get the right psychiatric doctor for you, i had one for a long time that i despised but i couldnt get another doctor since i was referred to him or something like that and he ended up making things 10x worse when he tried to get my family involved.

 

 

 

just make sure you feel comfortable when you talk to the psychiatrist or things could turn bad

 

 

 

also just keep in mind there is always a tomorrow that will be different.

 

 

 

Err that is kind of wrong... You don't have to attend a meeting just because you were referred, you can say no and goodbye. He can't allow your family to be involved without your own free will... He sounds unprofessional if you ask me. Go for someone who uses psychotherapy, cognitive or behavioural, anything else and the psychs tend to get a bit weird on you.

[arizark]

well i was like 15 at the time so I didn't have much of a say in anything, only thing that really ended up helping me was anti depressants.

[dymed]

Thanks a lot guys. Reading all of that felt kind of nice. It does help to know you are not alone. :)

 

 

 

I still have not decided whether or not I want to see someone, not am I completely sure about what the laws/rules are. However, I do believe that I am feeling a bit more confident about talking to one if I choose to. It might be kind of nice. I can't really go to one for the next couple of weeks anyway, so I have some time to decide.

 

 

 

Thanks for the kind words Mel. When I am passionate about something, I tend to just go on about it, explaining everything that I can in as much detail as I can. I'm a pretty good writer when it comes to things like that. The only poetry I have ever written are silly ones where the lines rhyme. Might not be deep, but they sound good! :D

 

 

 

And yeah, you are right. I think all I need is a best friend. That's one of the big reasons why I am reluctant to go to a professional. I think all I really need is a best friend again. I completely understand where you are coming from with that whole "needing to be needed" mindset, I am the exact same way. I need someone, and not only that, I need someone to need me too. It makes me feel really weak sometimes; needing someone is not the best of things. I am trying to change that, but it's still how things are, how I am. If it ever does change, if I can manage to do it, it won't be any time soon, I know that much. Everyone should have a best friend; I just need mine again. As corny as that sounds, it's true.

 

 

 

I have been doing slightly better past day or two, at least I think so. Went and saw some friends and tried having a good time. Wasn't exactly the most fun I've ever had, but it got my mind off things for a few hours at least. I'll take it. The eating is becoming a problem, but I'm trying to work on it. Eating without an appetite is so blaaah. And when you have severely decreased your food intake for a while, your stomach essentially "shrinks", and you can handle less and less food. I'm pretty sure this has started to happen, as I am getting very full very fast with quite little portions. Trying to reverse this process, but eating when food has kind of lost taste is no fun. Trying to eat things that I find tasty or somewhat good in bigger portions.

 

 

 

Thank you to everyone who shared their stories with me. And to those who offered advice and are trying to help. And definitely to those who dropped me a line through PM or on MSN and talked to me. It means a lot and I appreciate it. :D

 

 

 

[Wachtwoord]

The feeling to be needed is quite common amongst people of your age (begin 20's, sometimes sooner). It is for a reason a lot of serious love relationships evolve at that age. Of course they way you handle it is extreme, but everyone has that feeling at a certain point in their life. I know this may not help a lot, but knowing you're not alone in such situations sometimes make people feel better a bit.

[Cyco_Reborn]

I'm going through a similar situation as you, except I can control myself enough so as not to kill myself. I'd recommend getting yourself to a doctor ASAP before you do yourself some serious harm. Your doctor will usually keep any appointments confidential unless you really are harming yourself a lot.

 

 

 

I hope this has helped you, and I hope your life gets better.

[dusqi]

May I suggest http://psychcentral.com/, which is run by someone who is qualified. There is an active community who would also be able to give you good information.

 

 

 

As suggested on the site, you could call someone to speak to them, which would allow you to chat to someone anonymously without worrying about your parents being contacted. A phone call also means that you are completely in control of the conversation, in that you can end it at any time. The people at the other end of the phone are also trained to listen to you, so they won't be prying into topics that you don't initiate first. It is a form of self-help, because they won't be telling you what to do, they help you to guide yourself.

[IGoddessI]

May I suggest http://psychcentral.com/, which is run by someone who is qualified. There is an active community who would also be able to give you good information.

 

 

 

As suggested on the site, you could call someone to speak to them, which would allow you to chat to someone anonymously without worrying about your parents being contacted. A phone call also means that you are completely in control of the conversation, in that you can end it at any time. The people at the other end of the phone are also trained to listen to you, so they won't be prying into topics that you don't initiate first. It is a form of self-help, because they won't be telling you what to do, they help you to guide yourself.

 

 

 

Very useful information :D

 

 

 

I have phone anxiety :ohnoes: I can't talk on the phone unless I really really know someone well.

[Revenga]

Well, there was no happy ending to that story, Kari. :?

 

 

 

Last night you put everything so vaguely I didnt think it was this bad, but this post really puts things in perspective. Now I sorta feel bad about ranting and [bleep]ing about my problems.

 

 

 

I hope everything gets better between you and everyone elses problems we discussed last night, I guess it's kind of hard for me to relate but I can imagine.

 

 

 

Sorry, by the way, didn't get a minute of sleep last night for you. :cry: